Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

Milton

There was a poet named Milton
Who never slept in a Hilton
But Paris he knew
And Cambridgeshire, too,
Which is where he bought his Stilton*

* Stilton is an English cheese sans Marmite


Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: 10th grade, 11th grade, 12th grade, 9th grade,

Bit of Lunacy

Colorization is Angela’s thing
Her purple hair makes her blue eyes zing
there is a spike in her neck
with mini-me, what the heck?
Bit of lunacy makes this photo king!

Poem Details | by Mark Koplin |
Categories: humorous,

Duncified

We toss our names into a hat
Luck of the draw, that’s where it’s at
No rhyme or reason 
Must be the season
Just step on up and swing your bat

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: america, political,

Mid-Terms

The Devil was searching for souls
Among politicians with goals
So many for sale
No way could he fail
Just look at the GOP polls!


Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: christian, giggle, religious, sexy,

Never Once Did He Stare

         ~ Revised Repost ~ 


  There once was a minister so meek
  His sole desire, the Lord for to seek
    Despite babes everywhere
    Never once did he stare
  He just smiled, then turned her other cheek

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: bible,

Bird Flew

When Eve was searching for a rib
The Devil led her to a crib
Where Cain and Able
Hatched a stork fable
Creating the very first fib

Poem Details | by I Am Skeet |
Categories: humorous,

Johnny and Amber

To get my mind off war and inflation
I’ve watched the trial for defamation.
  Johnny is crazy as Heard
  but really Ms Amber Turd
should be on trial for defecation!



Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: happiness,

Moonlighting

There once was a pretty young miss
Who discovered her clito-ris
To her delight
She found each knight
Could lead to a life of pure bliss

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: fantasy,

A Werecat Named Nat


Meeting women online, werecat Nat

with the lovers of felines would chat.

When a cat he became,

he required a sweet dame

who – on seeing him – would not yell SCAT.


May 19, 2022
For Anthony Biaanco's Shapeshifters And Shapeshifting Poetry Contest

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor, muse,

Missing A Muse

A muse on the Isle of Man
Skipped to the loo aka "can"
But something went wrong
The queue was too long
How could she rush back to Jan?

Poem Details | by L MILTON HANKINS |
Categories: boy, care, hero,

Boy Scout

A tenderhearted lad from Schenectady Gave his elbow to an elderly lady Helping her across the street, While never missing a beat Leaves her happy in a better spot shady.
Written May 18, 2022

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor, new york,

Big Apple Eye Scream

Central Park's cool event in May
Brings the gigolos out to play
Ilene says, "Its true!
They're all over you!"
Its Banana Split & Run Day

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: animal, passion, sun,

Pachyderm on the Hot Sand

There once was a light-skinned pachyderm
Who had a thing for a lowly worm
   Sun-bathing on the hot sand
   Elephant got quite a tan
Poor worm earned him a wiggly sunburn

Poem Details | by Robert Gorelick |
Categories: appreciation, tribute,

Tribute To A Tributer

I Am Anaya likes good food and fine rhyme
Dining with Poetry Soup all the time
She posts tributes so terse
but they could be verse
With a love of poetry so true and sublime
                5/17/22

Poem Details | by Robert Gorelick |
Categories: humor,

Contrarian Veterinarian

In Encino there's a veterinarian
who is the Valleys rudest contrarian
He'll insult a shy tabby
Greet a pug: Hey there, flabby!
But at home, he's a kind Presbyterian
                    5/17/22

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor, love,

USA Million Aire

The cooings of a snow-white dove
Beseech the wind to bring us love
But pandemics apart
Don't you dare touch my heart
Unless you wear a rubber glove!

Poem Details | by Judy Gulas |
Categories: drink,

Cheeky Whiskey

Whiskey’s my favorite drink.
It makes my cheeks turn pink.
Can’t have just one,
What’d be the fun.
So I drink til I get to the brink.

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

Reciprocity

A cow was awaiting its doom
In a barn with so little room
Her very last fart
Was a pistol start
And the abattoir went ka-boom!

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

Habits

Our priest will preach until he's hoarse
About the sin of intercourse
From what we've heard tell
He knows it quite well
By habit, he re-checks each source

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: food,

Plant Me On The Front Lawn



Most likely I've eaten a farmer's field of wheat I'm loaded with fibre right down to my feet When I'm dead and gone Plant me on the front lawn Such yummy Shredded Wheat can't be beat

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: confusion, friend, horse,

A Filly, Bovine

I knew a filly, thought she was bovine
Whenever she talked, out came this line
   ‘I am man’s best friend’
    This girl would deadpan
'He drinks my milk ~ He is udderly fine'

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: religion,

Con Fusion

The Wailing Wall is standing tall
So men may bang their head and bawl
But burka girls
Must hide their curls
So no one can see their tears fall

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun, humor,

Us Guys Have A Feminine Side



Contrary to popular belief guys have a feminine side Some wear gowns pretending they're a blushing bride I'm more reserved Lacking the nerve But at the sight of a wee mousie I'm mortified

Poem Details | by Elizabeth McCann |
Categories: age, anti bullying, youth,

Mallaise

Four young men and quite large
Are cruising the mall like a barge.
But I, diddle, diddle,
Fit as a fiddle, 
Aim my cane at the middle and charge!

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, word play,

'POEM OF THE YEAR' BAWDY


My grandson’s fiancé just rocks She’s lovely, her name’s Fonda Fox They are soon to marry But Fonda won’t carry His surname because it is Cox! Thanks to a dear friend who said this is my best poem this year - hence the title! 05/13/22

Poem Details | by Justin Abdool |
Categories: absence, angst, break up, drink, food, funny, humor,

The Last Dine

There once was a lady named Jill
Who went to eat without a fill

She was broken up
After her man's last cup

So she ran away from their bill!

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

Vegan Aire

When mum tells you to eat your beans
You know exactly what she means
That foul belly air
Needs to go somewhere
And better not be in your jeans!

Poem Details | by Jeff Kyser |
Categories: humorous,

Manchester Man

Seems a Manchester man dropped trow
to test out a sofa, and how!
The fabric is swell;
it resisted poo well.
Good news too, it’s half price right now!

—————

Reported by employees at the Sofa Club in Manchester’s Arndale Centre. The disposition of the couch is poetic license…

Poem Details | by Robert Gorelick |
Categories: humor,

A Vegan Pug

A big meat eater in Tampa Bay
became a vegan for his fiancé
But his pug feels forsaken
with his bland tofu bacon
So he’s calling the S.P.C.A

Poem Details | by Robert Gorelick |
Categories: humor,

A Jazz Loving Beagle

A jazz loving beagle in Fairfax
digs Dizzy and Miles to the max
But it’s now hip-hop and punk
No more groovin’ to Monk
He visits neighbors just to relax

Poem Details | by Robert Gorelick |
Categories: humor,

Good For Nothing

A bratty six-year-old down in Carlsbad
makes his poor, haggard mother so mad!
He'll be good for a buck
but his mom shouts: Good luck!
Just be good for nothing like your dad!

Written 5/12/22

Poem Details | by Melani Udaeta |
Categories: emotions, feelings,

Watered Down World

I am so tired of things that are fake; 
How much more do I have to take? 
Filters and trends strike again 
reminding me to abstain, 
watered down world give me a break.

Poem Details | by Robert Gorelick |
Categories: humor,

A Chow Chow Injustice

A sweet Chow Chow called Charleston Dinah
Was court-ordered to go back to China
Told: Leave the U.S.
You made this covid mess!
She arfed:  You nut I’m from North Carolina!

Written 5/12/22

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

Maypole

The Maypole fell out of fashion
Due to a lack of compassion
Invited to bed
"Get knotted!" girls said
"Weaving ribbons is our passion!"

Poem Details | by Joe Maverick |
Categories: absence, abuse, analogy, conflict,

Greater hate hath no man

At a bunker in coastal Ukraine
Filth and death; now sadly do reign
With wide open wounds
Many might well die soon
Yet They've never of covid complained


All Limericks