Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Quintin Reda |
Categories: 12th grade,

Turtle

Across a roadside that's fertile
Came this reptile and a hurdle
As he hid in his shell
A nice driver did yell
Just cross the road little turtle


Poem Details | by Quintin Reda |
Categories: 12th grade,

Speedy Frog

Lunch as an insect in the fog
Flying in a swamp by a log
For a starving toad
Though surely he's slowed
To a speedy tongue of a frog

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: adventure, animal, fear,

Llama in Trauma

There once was a Peruvian llama
Whose owner shipped him to Alabama
  Horns blaring, lights flashing
  Folks screaming, cars crashing
All points lookout ~ one llama in trauma

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

Church Social

The church social started at three
With our vicar pouring the tea
The Holy Ghost
Will be our host
As soon as Sponge Bob lets him be


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: earth,

When Volcanos Blow



When volcanos blow your nostrils swell Your eyeballs cross your eyebrows as well You lose control You begin to unroll You sit down take a break what the hell

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: political, racism,

Southern Hospitality

McConnell says blacks are not whites
So there's no need for voting rights
They all have the perk
Of going to work
Though a few may need to work nights!

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

Everything's Bigger In Texas



Everything's bigger in Texas they say Bed bugs drive cars and cows can sashay And now for the best Ladies have big breasts Causing men to drool and lose their toupees

Poem Details | by L MILTON HANKINS |
Categories: humor, natural disasters,

How to Offend a Neighbor

A young man in a brand-new red Ford pickup Is said to have had very, very bad luck Driving it rather hard, Through a neighbor’s front yard, The yard turned into a sodden muddy muck.
written January 21, 2022

Poem Details | by Melani Udaeta |
Categories: emotions, feelings, poetry, write,

Monetize Me

Write all day then color it green, 
abuse the pen but keep it clean; 
I want to leave this desk; 
Anyone feel my S.O.S?
Take advantage monetize me. 

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: word play,

Spritze

Ben went to the pub for a shot
But when he got there he forgot
Until a nurse
Opened her purse
To show off the needle she brought

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: sad,

When We Have So Much



Does the sun shine where you live today Or show life in a deplorable state as portrayed It makes me feel sad In conditions so bad Described as deplorable when we have so much

Poem Details | by L MILTON HANKINS |
Categories: humor,

Tinker to Baltimore

Once came a smart tinker to Baltimore He peddled his pots near a dry-goods store He hawked them all in one day For whatever folks would pay Then hurriedly left and came back with more.
written January 19, 2022

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: dog,

Cur Grrr

A day in the life of a flea
Is just one too many for me
So please swap your cur
For something sans fur
To avoid a catastrophe!

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: spring,

The Robin's Song



Already longingly thinking about spring Kinda early but winter's sure not my thing Love warm and sunny Not cold and crummy Listen... listen... the robins do sing

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: relationship, silly,

Rx for Sex

Yet another piss-poor dinner produced
No wonder her sex-life has been reduced
Ava needs something to give her a boost
   Eyes the doctor ~
   Please prescribe my husband me to seduce

Poem Details | by John lawless |
Categories: humor,

IT'S STILL UP

He took his Viagra for sure
and paid for an hour, no more
but after the fun
he dialed 911
the damn things been up there for four


John g. Lawless
©1/18/2022

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: political,

Congress Kaput

Joe Biden is starting to whine
The Democrats won't toe the line
They can not agree
That we should all see
A politician has a spine

Poem Details | by Daisy Ward |
Categories: funny, humorous,

FOUL BALL

The man tried to catch a foul ball
But his body was too tall
The ball hit his ribs
Then hit his small Dibbs
Which bounces him into a wall

Poem Details | by Daisy Ward |
Categories: humorous,

THE OUTFIT

Wearing her see through outfit was bold
Wind came through that made her butt cold
She called out for heat
That shot through her teeth
What a sight, she looked like a mole

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: animal,

I'm A Believer



Dogs are the most amazing creatures If you pay attention, they're very good teachers They show patience They react to ovation Man's friend to the end, yup, I'm a believer

Poem Details | by Shirley Hawkins |
Categories: 10th grade,

MISS MUFFET

Do you remember the rhyme, Miss Muffet,
About the little girl that sat on a tuffet,
She didn't run away,
She decided to stay,
She sat on the spider and snuffed it!

Poem Details | by L MILTON HANKINS |
Categories: humor,

A Quick Plan - Bawdy

The very first time Will got himself laid
Thanks to a willing, beautiful young maid,
He made a quick plan
To act like a man
And the next one, well, she wouldn’t get paid.

written January 17, 2022

Poem Details | by Kim Merryman |
Categories: fish, kiss,

No More Kisses

A man once said to his Mrs., Lately, you've been scant with your kisses. Have I done something bad, Or made you a bit mad? She said "Hun, your breath smells like dead fishes.
1/17/22

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: political,

GOP Ban

The GOP are at wit's end*
Trump's driving them around the bend
They don't have a choice
With only Trump's voice
Exhausting foul wind from which end? 

*GOP presidential candidates are
now prohibited from debating as
only Trump's voice should be heard!

Poem Details | by Millard Lowe |
Categories: allegory, analogy, funny, humorous, imagery, metaphor, poetry,

WATERING ON


Once, I felt like a hole in a river;
Now, I’m floating on waves from the Giver.
A silly fish, I won’t be—
Breaking my bowl to be free:-
Baiting girl—I’ll just swim and ignore her.

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: snow,

We Got Dumped On Today



Seems like we got dumped on today Between 20 and 30 cm forecasters say Had it easy so far Blessed our lucky stars Welcome to spring bright sun every day

Poem Details | by L MILTON HANKINS |
Categories: humor,

Ol' John Brown

Ol’ John Brown sang a pitiful tune He went to his reward all too soon Fought for a good cause Without undue pause And they strung him up at half-past noon.
written January 16, 2022

Poem Details | by Melani Udaeta |
Categories: car, emotions, humor,

Traffic Lights

They always turn at the wrong time 
whether it’s wrong or it’s right; 
Like candy change the color;
Lick the stick switch the flavor, 
I just want to run those traffic lights. 

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

The French Genesis

In the beginning was a rooster
Whose little thing needed a booster
Around about ten
Along came an hen
And that cocky bird up and goosed her!

Poem Details | by Tony Hargreaves |
Categories: sad,

ROYAL HIGHNESS

There once was a royal highness
Got involved with folk of lowness
But now he can't recall
What caused his downfall
Sadly, his old mum in distress

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: poetry,

Should Be Famous By Now



Hey this is getting to be a lot of fun Sitting and writing limericks in the sun Too bad I'm not paid Worth two week's pay Should be famous by now by gum (chuckle)

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor, magic,

The Learning Curve

Our Vicar has a magic wand
A gift from some old vagabond
Though our choir can't sing
His "uppity" thing
Will rise to salute every blonde!

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: life,

To Feel Life Again



We're waiting for the sun to rise The only hope for humanity to survive The future awaits With a warm embrace So that once again we will feel alive

Poem Details | by L MILTON HANKINS |
Categories: history, humor, voice, woman,

Suffragist

There once lived a lady in Scranton Named Elizabeth Cady Stanton She dared to promote Women’s right to vote, ‘Tis said she threw many a tantrum.
written January 14, 2022

Poem Details | by L MILTON HANKINS |
Categories: humor,

Aberdeen Gal

I once met a girl in Aberdeen Sweetest little gal I ever seen Her face was fair, Had auburn hair Her reputation was squeaky clean.
written January 3, 2022


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