Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun, funny,

A girl ate a hat

A girl ate a hat, what a thrill,
Mistaking it for her contraceptive pill.
In her moment of haste,
A hat she did taste,
Now she's throwing up,  her tummy's bloated still!

Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: love,

How can they make love when an owl hoots

How can they make love when owl hoots,
In a deep forest, in nighttime pursuits,
With moonlight so bright,
They whisper, "Goodnight,"
To the owl, who just watches and toots!


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun,

A girl lost her panty one day

A girl lost her panty one day,
In a mix-up, it just slipped away.
She chuckled, not shy,
As it caught someone's eye,
Said, "Lost things often go astray!"

Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: love,

A GIRL AND A BOY

In the golden field where they lay,
Underneath the warm sun's gentle ray,
She leaned in so near,
Whispered words in his ear,
Then she kissed the boy and they rolled in the hay!

Poem Details | by Mark Toney |
Categories: family, fruit, goodbye, kid, parents, son,

First Bite

An English au pair with a love for fruit
Worked for a family with loads of loot
When she bit into a pear
Their son bit into au pair
She slapped him, his parents gave her the boot


Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: autumn, conflict, funny, giggle, humor, insect, september,

autumn bicker

a farmer under a tree

remarked stung by a small bee

seems each september

rain or fair weather

we seldom seem to agree.

Poem Details | by A. Ormulyce |
Categories: adventure,

A Tough Question

An explorer's life can be tough
when it is time to use a rough
bridge to cross a ravine
and flee an indigene.
Is the thirteenth board strong enough? 

Poem Details | by Belle Bellevue |
Categories: dog, humor,

A Grand Barking Contest

There was to be a grand barking contest To find the dog that barked loud and longest A man came on his scooter Farting loud as a trouper And said he couldn’t tell a b from an f.

Poem Details | by Belle Bellevue |
Categories: bird, humorous,

An Omelette Made for Two

I had a tasty ****-a-doodle stew Now I crow at dawn as cockerels do I pulled a sweet hen And now and again We dine on an omelette made for two.

Poem Details | by Belle Bellevue |
Categories: dance, imagination, weather,

Fine Weather for Leather

Heather decided to dance in leather A bra and a thong that went together But it got so hot Her gear slipped right off And the crowd raised the roof for fine weather.

Poem Details | by Shirley Hawkins |
Categories: 10th grade,

Just A Crumb

If we all gave a crumb of bread
To all the folk who are unfed
The world would be a better place
It would assist the human race
To survive and march ahead

Poem Details | by Shirley Hawkins |
Categories: 10th grade,

A Rude Awakening

Wake up, wake up, it's morning,
A brand new day is dawning.
Did you sleep well?
You look like Hell
Go back to bed, your yawning.

Poem Details | by David Fisher |
Categories: animal, fun,

Noisemaker Stew

My favorite butcher knew just what to do
When he sold me farm fresh noise makers for stew
Like the mooer and quacker
With the oinker and clucker
And those parts that make the ****-a-doodle-do

Poem Details | by Robert Pirrie |
Categories: cheer up, fun, funny, happy, humor, places, smile,

A Scottish Location

A bonnie wee place, Drummore.
Just aff the Galloway Shore. 
A stoat and a fish.
Their signature dish. 
A bonnie wee place Drummore.

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

Tickle Me Bum



Tickle me bum and call me Lucy Everything's loopy and totally groovy Lost half a pound Look great in a gown Next I'll star in a Hollywood movie

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

A Horsey Type Grin



My friend is known for a horsey type grin Along with his whinny, he can run like the wind Through fields of clover Don't mind his odour Just hold onto your schnoz and try not to wince

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: joy,

Sing Hallelujah



Smile, damn smile, you face won't break It's a spanking new day for goodness sake No grumpies allowed Sing hallelujah out loud Break out in song as soon as you wake

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: joy,

Life's Happy Play



What earth shattering things have I got to say The world's still round, same stuff each day Happy as a pig So what the frig Why can't everybody perform in life's happy play

Poem Details | by Bill Baker |
Categories: beach, bird, boy, funny, magic, miracle,

The Big Surprise

An adventurous lad named Ling,
By chance he found a talking ring.
Then a big surprise,
Right before his eyes,
It became a bird that could sing!

Poem Details | by Daisy Ward |
Categories: humor,

THE COLLEGE STUDENT

The college student was so bored
Upon finding out that she'd been ignored
By some of her peers
That had to many beers
After finding out, she was floored

Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: nonsense,

A cat and a dog

A cat and a dog, marinated delight,
In a frying pan, they engaged in a fight,
Their sizzles did soar,
Mom kicked the pan, what a roar!
Dinner was ruined that unfortunate night!

Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun, humor, nonsense,

A man got sick

A man got sick, needed specialists' aid,
All organs were treated, no hope did they fade,
But alas, in the end,
The man met his end,
Happily ever after, his organs stayed.

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: character,

A Bulbous Nose



Accused of much silliness, it's who I am Can't change I'm afraid, just a silly old man Life's a big hoot In my colourful suit A clown like attire with a nose so grand

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: clothes, giggle, wind,

Harry's Day in Court

  Harry finally had his day in court
  So he wore a dark suitcoat to comport
    But he let go a fart
    Tore the courtroom apart
  A full tank of gas ~ a hole in his shorts

Poem Details | by Linda Alice Fowler |
Categories: father daughter, fun, funny, giggle, humor, humorous, parents,

You Look Nice

“Don’t you look nice!”, the waitress said
she left to get our ordered bread
	as his black coffee cooled
	he said, “You’ve got her fooled,”
and I went home and hid my head

Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: cat, fun, funny, humor, nonsense,

The king banished a cat

The king banished a cat, such a jest,
To Madrid, in the west, on a quest.
With Spanish cheese and feline grace,
It grew plump in that very place,
Then married a funny  in haste.

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: dad, evil, irony, perspective, political, usa,

Joe is peachy keen

Will the house our cadaver impeach?
Kevin's abused his freedom of speech
With head in the sand
McCarthy takes command
Like a selfish son of a beach

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: creation,

My Readership Has Dwindled



My readership has dwindled lately After many years this has disturbed me greatly Are my lims getting boring Is my ego showing Trying hard to still be creative faithfully

Poem Details | by Melani Udaeta |
Categories: children, computer, humor,

Blank Thread

Out of GIFs! Oh now I've got to talk,
no pictures I may start to squawk;
Deep thoughts flabbergasted,
blank conversation thread;
Kids got further with sidewalk chalk.

Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun, funny, humor,

A funny guy went to town with glee

A funny guy went to town with glee,
Came home with a rat, you see.
His wife was quite cross,
With a stinky meal toss,
Said, "Next time, bring home takeout for me!"

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: abuse, black african american, cry, food, funny, giggle, humor,

what I did last summer

sure i should not have cooked him

agent percival snookum

but cannibals led

to fashion this dread

shame he used a pseudonym.

Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: heart,

I know I must give you my all

I know I must give you my all,
With passion and love, stand tall.
Every ounce of my heart,
I'll gladly impart,
In your arms, I'll eternally fall.

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: animal, dream, football,

Bears Whipped 38-20

  The woeful Chicago Bears football team
  Hibernated in caves this June to dream
    Of winning their first game 
    But they exited tame ~
  Green Bay Packers turned them into whipped cream

Poem Details | by George Schaefer |
Categories: humor, love,

MAGICAL PILL

They promised me a magical pill
Said it would provide a royal thrill
My lady did coyly wink
But I missed it in a blink
And my desire we don’t fulfill

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: animal, drug, husband, senses, silly, wife,

Heard a Who, Smelled a Who, Burned What

  Horton smelled a Who, what about Hortense
  Did she have that special female 'sixth sense'
     It seems she was lacking
     But not 'cos of hacking
  'Hortense! Stop burning that freaking incense!'