Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: chocolate, love, sexy, valentines day,

a valentine's reprise

Like heaters with thousands of watts
Hot passion burns hearts into knots
Instead of this norm
To find love that’s warm
Form relations with chocolàtes

A honeyed and candied sweet taste
Entwined under lingerie laced
As valentine treat
Is the finest eat
Lucky tongues have ever embraced


Poem Details | by Chetta Achara |
Categories: perspective,

Deep State Clean Up


Democrats are becoming undone
We're watching them cry just for the fun
Their slush fund is dry
Oh me and oh my
Deep state clean up has only begun


Poem Details | by Marinus Jansen |
Categories: 10th grade, family, humorous, mother, my children,

The mere mention of boogies and snot

The mere mention of boogies and snot 
would creep out our dear mamma a lot.
She'd cry out, "Bill, Jenny, and Steve!
Stop it. You're gonna make me heave."
Of course promptly stop it? We did not.

Poem Details | by Mike Gentile |
Categories: books, fun, humor,

The Tiger's Revenge

“The Tiger’s Revenge” is a wonderful book
     Unlikely are many to give it a look
Its author as stated
             Seems mighty ill fated
His name, Sir Claude Balls, has left many men shook

Poem Details | by Shadow Hamilton |
Categories: humorous, love,

You know

You know about Jack and Jill
when they went up the hill
not for water but as lovers
Jack with half mast trousers
holding Jill fell down the hill


Poem Details | by Jerrold Prothero |
Categories: car, care, funny, hair, humor, humorous, silly,

A Man of Debatable Taste

A man of debatable taste
Thought wonders of sticky toothpaste.
Adorning his hair,
Or auto repair,
All based that with paste it was laced.

Poem Details | by Jerrold Prothero |
Categories: death, flying, funny, humor, humorous, life, silly,

Conceiving Himself To Be Dead

Conceiving himself to be dead,
He leaped like a ghost from his bed.
But finding no wings
Supporting of things,
He fell like a mortal instead.

Poem Details | by Jerrold Prothero |
Categories: boat, drink, funny, humor, humorous, sea, silly,

A Man More Patrician Than Not

A man, more patrician than not,
Of folly, he had quite a lot.
Stentorian voice,
But words of poor choice,
A sot, not a yacht, had he bought.

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: anxiety,

A Horrendous Act


It's hard to imagine what goes through our mind Of someone willing to end their life for a cause undefined It's a mystery to me I'm unable to see Justification for this horrendous act of man's decline

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

Sunny With A Chance Of Giggles


Being of sound mind and body, this dude Bequeaths his soul to help those who've come unglued The world needs more giggles And more positive signals For a better world to emerge with a new attitude

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: addiction,

Eating Poinsettias


There once was a young fellow from Philadelphia Who would sometimes go into fits of hysteria When a bombshell he viewed He became totally unglued Started drooling and eating poinsettias

Poem Details | by Oliver Mckeithan |
Categories: humor,

Untitled

there was a politician named Rod who for his truth telling wanted to be lauded but everyone knew better that he was just another vote getter because politicians and truth together are quite odd

Poem Details | by Oliver Mckeithan |
Categories: humor,

Untitled

there was an old man named Munch
who decided on a tryst over brunch
he thought he met the girl of his dreams
she let out a scream
and he said my dear I have something to paint over lunch

Poem Details | by Oliver Mckeithan |
Categories: humor,

Untitled

there was an old man named Ford
who thought history was absurd
he said it was all bunk
then his company produced a junk
and the Edsel became the car most abhorred

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: appreciation,

Great Resilience


Stuff lurks down deep, from past experience Heaven knows I'm known for great resilience In moments of panic Turns me quite frantic Rely on rhymes, mysterious and sapience

Poem Details | by Robert Gorelick |
Categories: america, angst, world,

Yankee Go Home!!

Greenland will be our posh winterland plaza Blueprints unfold for a Riviera Gaza Just hot air baloneyism Or old-fashioned colonialism? Panamanians shout leave! Viva la Raza!

Poem Details | by Marinus Jansen |
Categories: 10th grade, 11th grade, 12th grade, humorous, science, youth,

Humans are genetically 90 percent like a rat

When you stop a sec to consider
all the genes you share with this critter,
it is so clear, right off the bat,			
why you always act like a rat.			
Don’t let this truth make you feel bitter.

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: sad,

Jack's Dark Side


Jack has a dark side as one of fun He laid out too long in the hot sizzling sun Didn't turn over Got over exposure White in front but dark on his bum

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: pain,

A Pain In My Sacroiliac


Moving some boxes, holy crap Got a dirty big pain in my sacroiliac Not young anymore Like was once before Must take care or my back will crack

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: death, leadership, murder,

Igor needs a bigger lab V

Start the game show geography
Three guesses where POTUS will be
Delete Chicago
Nix Mar-a-Lago
Musk knows it's Trumpington DC

Poem Details | by Marinus Jansen |
Categories: anger, humorous, hurt, pain, woman,

Revenge limerick -- I'm that girl from Peru

So, yeah, hi - I'm that girl from Peru.
And I've written a limerick too.
Here's to all of you jerks
who made fun of my quirks:
a sincere and deep heartfelt "pfhuck you!"

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

I Get All Ferschemmeled


Y'all think I'm this handsome young devil Got news for you all, haven't been on the level Got quite a large tummy Mother dresses me funny When girls touch my hoohaw, I get all ferschemmeled

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humor,

Got Wrinkles On My Wrinkles


Will soon turn ninety that's over the hill But the Highland Fling I'm able to do still As my kilt flips up One can see I'm no pup Got wrinkles on my wrinkles I'm heading downhill!

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: animal, food, funny, giggle,

A Delicacy to Delight the Most Discriminating Pig

    Porky Pig once stopped by my butcher shoppe 
     Pig was not looking for any old slop
        He searched high and low
        Meat tasted like crow
     'Please, Elmer, one pound of strings from your mop’

Poem Details | by Bill Marable |
Categories: baby,

That Annoying Neighbor

That Annoying Neighbor

Why do babies fear their shadow 
What of the dark stalker do they know 
With tearful eyes 
Their voice cries 
For clouds to mask their foe

Bill Marable 
2/3/25
8:21 am

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: candy, corruption, political,

Candy Crushed - poop humour warning!


Though craving their sweet choc chip pieces I’m boycotting candy by Meeses I loathe, nay abhor This global trade war Trump's tariffs – what a crock of faeces!

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: happy,

Maybe Age Is To Blame


Just got new glasses, well new lenses, same frames Expected an improvement but it seems much the same Could age be a factor My hopes are shattered Not a young whipper snapper, maybe age is to blame

Poem Details | by Bill Marable |
Categories: age, body, change, health,

Age and Wander

Dealing with one’s mortality 
Reveals a stark reality 
As you age
You set the stage
For you own finality

Bill Marable
9/17/24 6:39 pm

Poem Details | by Jerrold Prothero |
Categories: flying, food, fun, humor, humorous, light, silly,

A Man of Kaleidoscope Eye

A man of kaleidoscope eye
Devoured all manner of pie.
Apple to rhubarb,
Crusty with full carb,
The pie in his eye made it fly.

Poem Details | by Subimal Sinha-Roy |
Categories: humorous,

Dumpster Fire


To sell smart trash bins a man George did hire,
but loss loomed large, put him in dumpster fire.
          He promptly fired the dumb man,
          became a keen garbage fan,
saved his business going downright haywire.   


Poem Details | by David Fisher |
Categories: fun,

Hot Trash

The queen of rubbish raised her man’s ire
By not calling the king of trash, sire
She just refused
His ‘Royal Refuse’
So he raged into a dumpster fire


For Dumpster Fire Contest

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: food, humorous,

The 'Queen of Poop' returns!


“Stop farting Fred,” poor Sally begs - She’s being gassed and needs nose pegs “You won’t use a cook book When it’s your turn to cook It’s always baked beans with fried eggs!”

Poem Details | by Marinus Jansen |
Categories: 11th grade, 12th grade, girlfriend, humorous, love, relationship, rude,

I once loved a woman, a Tartar

I once loved a woman, a Tartar,
who turned out to be a real farter.
When I said it wasn’t polite
and to stop it! at least at night,
she started to fart even harder.

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: allusion,

The Air Is Free


The air is free but don't foul it up Can't capture it save it in an air tight cup It comes and goes Through any size nose So treat it well and never let up

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

My Bottom Line


Naughtiness is the name of my game Writing serious stuff no longer earns me fame Seems I'm stuck in a rut Must write about smut So my BOTTOM line is I can't be to blame