Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Cooper Etheridge |
Categories: 4th grade, cute,

Amarillo

There once was a man from Amarillo
Whose wife looked like an armadillo
The tooth fairy came
And left in shame
Empty, like his mouth on the pillow.

Poem Details | by L MILTON HANKINS |
Categories: humorous, sad,

Uncle Joe

My Uncle Jim loved to engage in tickling Especially young boys, it was sickening, We wondered about him, Hanging out at the gym 'Till he started openly soliciting!


Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

You're In Luck

You know how boys play with their tool
Pretending to be Mr. Cool
So keep an eye out
For a water spout
As they tend to pee in the pool!

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: time,

The Dark Side Of The Moon



What lies on the dark side of the moon Do beings exist in a magical commune Since time began Since the dawn of man This mystery has puzzled us from our worldly cocoon

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: america,

Red White and Screw U

The Peace & Love Generation
Got whacked for their motivation
Now they know the score
There's money in war
Which is why we're the richest nation!


Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

Bib Lick All Leo

A lady who shops at the mall
Bought a bra a wee bit too small
Because she has more
Her cups runneth o'er
The Pride goeth before a fall

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: health,

Wash Your Hands

It seems that no one understands
Monkeypox is not spread by glands
Just one little touch
Infects an whole bunch
Whatever you do, DON'T SHAKE HANDS!*

*Dr. Fauci says, "Sex is 
not necessary, skin-to-skin 
contact is!" so no more 
fistbumps! 

Poem Details | by Linda Alice Fowler |
Categories: cute, drink, fun, funny, games, humorous, silly,

Banned

My grandpa was a drinking man
he never lost a dealer’s hand
	we hired a caregiver
	to tend his bad liver
from bottle and table he’s banned

He tried to sneak drink and a game
and was feeling the stare of fame
	drew a royal flush
	his liver turned to mush
his game will never be the same

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

Mary Wanna

I could tell by the look in her eyes
She was a girl who knew about guys
She thought that my size
Might generate sighs
One can't help but love a girl so wise!

Poem Details | by Linda Alice Fowler |
Categories: fun, funny, giggle, humor, humorous, silly,

Ears and Tears

There was an artist Van Gogh
who loved to put on a show
	cut off his ear
	shed not a tear
Why? no one will ever know

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: death,

Posting



It's unsettling when a friend stops posting With no advance notice or explantation of closing The thought of passing Is immediately distressing 'Tis human to think negative a natural emotion

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: dog, friendship, home,

Joe's Mutt Didn't Make the Cut

     Joe found himself in a bit of a rut
     So, he bought himself the friendliest mutt
        Bow-wow, lick-lick, slurp-slurp
        Joe's space that mutt usurped
     Not room enough for them both in Joe's hut

Poem Details | by L MILTON HANKINS |
Categories: farm,

Farmer Shane

My friend farmer Shane has perfected new breeds His corn and soybeans he's planted from seeds, An early morning riser, Using no fertilizer, He spends most of his spare time pulling weeds.
Written August 3, 2022 [for Farmer Shane]

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

His Terre Aches

The Psycho Cell roof is leaking
The lady inside is shrieking
As hard as she tries
When she shuts her eyes
All she can see is Trump streaking

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: international,

Jinping Pong

China claims that the Taiwan Strait
Does not divorce it from its mate
But China's been busted
It can not be trusted
Since it reneged on Hong Kong's fate!

Poem Details | by Daisy Ward |
Categories: humorous,

THE COWBOY

The cowboy rode a bucking horse
He tried holding but was toss
Through a salon door
Rump busted his core
That horse strictly showed him who's boss

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

Mallarama

Victoria's Secret hottie
Was modelling something naughty
With it all on view
What else could I do
But make a run for the potty?

Poem Details | by Robert Gorelick |
Categories: evil, fear, sad,

Who's Fooling Who

Who's Fooling Who?

Bloody murder, wild sex, torture and slime
Scammers and pushers and heinous crime
It's too much to bear
All the evil out there
Except for cable TV at prime time!

8/1/22

Poem Details | by Elizabeth McCann |
Categories: age, betrayal, political, prison,

The Arrest

Chris Lovelock had talked to a friend
About bringing his life to an end.
But the friend then betrayed him
And the cops came and stayed him
By giving him six days in the pen!

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

Monkey See Monkey Dew

When men are getting off their rocks
They seldom think of monkeypox
In the vaccine queue
All eyes are on you
So keep in mind that money talks

Poem Details | by Shirley Hawkins |
Categories: 10th grade,

Peta Pan

I have a very childlike mind,
I've never left my childhood behind,
Most people think that I am daft,
Cos childish thoughts make me laugh,
It's ridiculous but sublime!

Poem Details | by Jeff Kyser |
Categories: food,

Que pasa, chaco

Beyond a shadow of a doubt,
There’s much to be outraged about.
But what gets my craw,
The final, last straw:
Chaco Tacos have been phased out.

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

Bible Babble

"The way of a man with a maid"
Is never quite like the girl prayed
Just one little prick
And she calls in sick
(its more fun to get laid than paid)

Poem Details | by Linda Alice Fowler |
Categories: fun, funny, giggle, humor, humorous, silly,

Flaming

There once was a young man named Lane
who literally was insane
	he wrote a billet-doux
	using words of voodoo
not knowing it meant to enflame!

Poem Details | by Justin Abdool |
Categories: conflict, death, funny, hilarious, humorous, loss, moving on,

The Discovered Body

There once was a man named Fred
Who found a body to dread

He said he'd protect
and never neglect

But the thing is the body was dead!

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: anxiety, cheer up, fishing, fun, giggle, humor, humorous,

Gone Fishing

Shiftless Louie's constant wish
For a new satellite dish.
Made his wife stammer
In her best grammar,
Come home once you've caught a fish.

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: international,

Over the Top

Here's a thought for you to ponder:
Where on earth should a girl wander?
This world is vast
The die is cast
Why worry?  Goliath yonder!

Poem Details | by Bill Baker |
Categories: animal, funny, scary,

Scary

There once was an old man we called Harry
That felt all animals were quite scary
     When the black bear stood tall
     He did not move at all
Cause the bear was chasing his friend Larry

Poem Details | by Lisle Ryder |
Categories: dance, dog,

Springer pup

We are with a young springer called Flo
living up to her name in full flow.
     Dancing on her lead
     she's longing to speed,
for there's nothing she'll miss with her nose.

Poem Details | by Sandra Haight |
Categories: fruit, funny,

Blackberries



Blackberries are juicy and sweet

And very delicious to eat.

For me though, I think,

Are those I can drink-

Blackberry liqueur is my treat!


July 29, 2022

Contest: Your Thoughts on Blackberries
Sponsor: Matt Caliri





Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humorous,

Was Once A School Bus Driver



My wife was once a school bus driver Brave lady she's still in therapy, a survivor It's quite a sad tale At times gets derailed Aims at kiddies with words I can't decipher

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

Gardening 101

In Phoenix, a story was told
That Tom Cunningham stashed his gold
Since Tom is a bard
They dug up his yard
Marmite in hand, Tom laughed, "You're cold!"

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

Hoover Moover

Sucked off by his vacuum cleaner 
Vicar Jefs' wiener went leaner 
His parish aghast
Told the cops, "Come fast"
The Judge called a Miss de Meanor*

(n.b.,  Baptist Jefs is now a 
Registered Sex Offender so
guard your vacuum cleaner! 

Poem Details | by Tom Wright |
Categories: humor,

Hanks Predicament

Hank’s Predicament Limerick: by Tom 7/27/2022 I once knew a man named Hank, while in the army drove a tank. Then one day’s dread, the tank lost a tread. At that time Hank's mind went blank.

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: africa, food, funny, tiger,

Chuck Your Manners in the Ocean


     Pardon me, Excuse me, I'm sorry
     Don't say these words on a safari
       Lions will eat you
       A tiger will too
     Real soon you'll look like calamari