There was a dog owner named Mark
Whose beagle would constantly bark
The neighbours would moan
They’d steal Benji’s bone
And toss it away in the park
18th February 2016
My sister likes to doodle
I thought she drew a noodle
She gave me a glare
And tugged at my hair
And told me t'was a poodle.
While sitting on a hollow log
I was kissed by an ugly frog
It turned into an ugly queen
My oh my, what a hideous scene
I'd rather pull ticks from a dog!
There once was a hunter named Frawley
Who lived in a shack, outside Raleigh.
His dog, funny but true,
Would only hunt honeydew.
The dog was a true melon collie.
Muammar Muhammad Gaddafi;
'Brother Leader', dog of Tripoli
People of Libya
happily say, "See ya!
Here's for Flight 103 - Lockerbie."
My son has a new dog called Brandy
By jingo that pup is so randy
He caused quite a to do
When he humped my left shoe
No wonder his legs are so bandy!
A dog by the side of the road
Whelped out her cute little load
A copper who saw
Reeled off the law
Cited for littering I’m told
In the bullmastiff's breast beats a heart of pure gold
A proud Saxon canine, true caring and bold
Ever steadfast, not trendy
Such an apt chum for Wendy
A real breed apart and a joy to behold
POEM OF THE DAY
(For Wendy Horder and her hunk of love Brix)
Cousin Bell moved into a maisonette,
Was promptly told she could not have a pet
Not a cat or dog
Not a fish or frog
What about a gorilla she just met?
The Dachshund’s a marvel on skis
Little legs that stop short of its knees
It can schuss like a pro
Making furrows in snow
(Though its privates are given to freeze)
A mutt may show up with a rat
Do some terrible things to your hat
But he’s happy for sure
Just to roll in manure
And so grateful that he’s not a cat
Cassidy was a curious dog;
One day he walked into a bog,
Coming out, he looked about,
He couldn't see and began to pout;
Because he’s a sludge caked dog!
There are people that imagine it never gets warm
Way up in Canada where cold weather's the norm
In July we unzip our fur-lined parkas
While carving away on a newly killed carcass
Then on to our dog sled through an another snowy storm
I walked my dog down by the junction
When he had a canine malfunction
He jumped on a snake
A bite he did take
And now he has reptile dysfunction.
There once was a farmer called Seamus,
who had an incompetant anus.
When out on a date with girlfriend Kate,
he blamed his dog when he farted,
to prevent her being startled.
Once was a gal who felt so alone
Tornato came up rooted farms home
Landed on wicked witch
Munchkins came out of ditch
Gave dog lollypops instead of bone
a hairy thing roamed our streets
chasing cats for sport and treats
till it roamed too far
and dog catcher car
grabbed harry and chained his feets.
Here’s a fact SOME dog owners have missed -
The dog poo fairy DOESN’T exist
So get out your scoop
And clear up that poop
Or you’ll get a big slap on the wrist!
Inspired by a large poster I saw on a van
Last night I consumed too much grog
This morning awoke in a fog
and though I'm unsure
of the bartender's cure
I'm shaving the hair off my dog
In my house lives a talking dog, Fred,
who just loves playing games with my head.
As one day I cried,
thinking surely he’d died,
he said, “Geeez, girl,I’m just playing dead!”
For Deb's Limerick II contest
Holiday goodies, hung round the tree
They are the best you must agree
So did the dog then guess what
Up they all came, steaming hot
Next time just baubles and lights you'll see
Zooming, zooming, zooming fast,
I'm racing by in my billy cart,
Had to swerve to miss my dog,
Smashing into a fallen log,
Now I have to wear a plaster cast.
A dog and a cat and a flea,
All sat down to some tea,
They all ate some ham,
With some bread and some jam,
And were all as content as can be.
There was a cat from the city
who thought she was purrfectly pretty
But a dog chased her down
Almost running her out of town
And that did upset Miss Kitty
You best be believin'
That Miss Kitty got even
She rounded up a cat posse
And they scratched up the doggie
Now the poor mutt is grievin'
my dog used to listen to bach
while running around on the dock
till a gal pug he spied
with a collar tie dyed
so now he just listens to rock.