Limerick Poems About Girlfriend | Girlfriend Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: girlfriend-boyfriend

Rock Paper Scissors

Rock Girl

You are scissors, and all you can do is to cut all those paper hearts through. But I’ve hardened my heart and before you can start to destroy me, I’m going to SMASH you!
(Gosh, PD, they won't even permit the ~sign in the title!)

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Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: ireland,

Dear Bobby Mcgee

In a horrible dull monotone Bobby spoke, and his girlfriend would moan, “No kisses from me, dear Bobby McGee till you first kiss the old Blarney Stone.” Written March 15, 2017 for Kim Merryman's Luck of the Irish Limerick Contest

Poem Details | by John Smith |
Categories: girlfriend-boyfriend,

Beer Keg Legs

Meg has two old battered beer keg legs
that don't look to hold much more than dregs
But when Greg comes along 
she begs; "Please, please, belong 
to me I still gotta lotta eggs.”  

*Written at Elizabeth Wesley's request.

Poem Details | by Jack Horne |
Categories: girlfriend,

Miss Wrong With Plenty of Baggage

I still haven't found my Miss Right;
the girl with the cat was a fright:
she farted all day
and stank of decay,
then played with her pussy all night...

for the Baggage contest

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: body, humorous,

Clowning Around

An impotent circus clown called Billy Tied balloons to the end of his willy To his great surprise His todger did rise But his girlfriend just thought he looked silly! 03~01~17

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny,

Why Suzie Laughed

“Your undies I see,” joked Wong Ling
as his girlfriend swang high on a swing.
Suzie laughed and she laughed,
saying, “You are so daft,
‘cause down there I’m not wearing a thing!”

Dec30, 2018 for the 'Bawdy Limerick ' Poetry Contest of Tania Kitchin

Poem Details | by Wendy Watson |
Categories: humor,

The Long and the Short of It

Ted Smith was a very tall guy
His girlfriend, a mere four feet high.
But love went astray,
Ted called it a day;
They just couldn't see eye to eye!


Bite Size Poem #35 Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Line Gauthier

Poem Details | by Jean Murray |
Categories: dog, girlfriend, humorous,

Farting Farmer

There once was a farmer called Seamus,
who had an incompetant anus.
When out on a date with girlfriend Kate,
he blamed his dog when he farted,
to prevent her being startled.

Poem Details | by Robert Candler |
Categories: age, appreciation, beauty, body, fantasy, girlfriend, money,

What a Way To Go

An old man bought her gems and he smiled,
Knowing where they would be in a while...
Sex with a young beauty,
Great legs, boobs and booty.
If he died, he'd be going in style.

Poem Details | by Mitch White |
Categories: girlfriend-boyfriend

"does My Butt Look Big ?"

I was with my girlfriend at dinner
With each bite she took, she got thinner
Until she was just skin and bone
I blinked twice and I was alone
I then woke up, lying next to her

Poem Details | by Nate D. |
Categories: girlfriend-boyfriend

.~69~. /Zodiac.Race/

~69~ /zodiac sign/

There once was a hermit crab named Nate
Who enjoyed the solitude of his hate
   Meeting a lovely lady
   A sexy Texan, name P.D.
Finding true hate, trying to online date 

(Zodiac Sign Contest)

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: girlfriend,

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

If your love life's a beach with no sun,

here's some dating advice 1 0 1.

Don't be boring or stern -

Pay attention and learn

this one thing: Girls just wanna have fun!

WRitten July 1, 2015 for the Triple Threat Poetry Contest of Casarah Nance

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: allusion, cute love, funny love, giggle, girlfriend, humor, love,

marsha mallow

my girlfriends name is marsha mallow

and i am quite a lucky fellow

but dear reader dont be hasty

its not cause her lips are tasty

for shes the orchestras third cello.

Poem Details | by Jimmy Anderson |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend

Emmmmm Good

The spring in my pants was so dandy.
She wanted to suck it like candy.
When she closed her eyes.
I gave my surprise.
Never saw a girl quite that handy!

For Francine Roberts "Wow me in 5 lines" contest

Poem Details | by Joseph May |
Categories: fun,

Deep Space

Exploring deep space was a mus'
 For an astronomer named Gus
 But  his girlfriend saw red
 When to her he said
 I'd like to explore  Uranus
 Date: 4-25-15

 Contest Name: Make me Actually LOL

 Sponsor: Nina Parmenter

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend

Hickey Dickey

I knew of a guy called Dickey
Whose life became rather tricky
When he kissed the girls
They left pretty burls
Never showing us his hidden hickeys

Poem Details | by John Freeman |
Categories: funny

Apology Unaccepted

I’m sorry, “He cried!” But everyone knows,
how horribly comical ego goes.
    No less in a public place,
    driving car in girlfriend chase,
Seinfeld picked that nose in one of his shows!! 

For and in honor of Barbara Gorelick and contest
Apology Accepted

Poem Details | by Tom Wright |
Categories: boyfriend, girlfriend,


“Cooter” By Tom Wright There once was a blonde bar room shooter, Who would travel around town on a scooter? She was real slick, At chalking a stick, But she couldn’t best her boyfriend “Cooter”.

Poem Details | by Jack Horne |
Categories: science fiction,

My Satanic Phone

I once had a satanic phone,
When anyone called, it would groan.
It made up a lie,
Told my girlfriend Di:
‘He’s out…giving the dog a bone.’ *

*Slang for sex

Poem Details | by Natalie The Rogue Rhymer |
Categories: girlfriend-boyfriend, slam,

Breakup Text

Last night you texted, "Honey, it’s the end"
But I will not cry…my heart will soon mend
‘Cuz I’ve got so many calls
Unlike you, from guys with balls
And tonight, those balls are of your best friend

Poem Details | by Nyonglema Pisoh |
Categories: betrayal, boyfriend, child, children, conflict, feelings, girlfriend,

A Dull Three - Aka Adultery

Love lived in the hearts of Him and Her,
 But distance shrouded fear over Her
 And to punish Her reluctance
 He gave another girl a chance
 And she brought triplets nine months later.

(c) Nyonglema

Poem Details | by Marty Owens |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, people, space

Mars and Venus

On Mars it's a man you will see.
On Venus a lady will be.
     But what's so amazing,
     Will make all your heads ring.
They both get together with glee!

Poem Details | by Nitesh Aggarwal |
Categories: angst, family, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, husband, love, romance, wedding, wife

Full Circle

Just out of college, we would yearn for a touch
Sleeping together cuddled on the couch
Those were the days!
Of pre-wedding bouquets
Now I am told to go sleep alone on the couch

Poem Details | by Josette Key |
Categories: death, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend


A man found himself in a pickle
When his girlfriend found he was fickle
He said "won't you stay"
She said "there's no way"
As she took his head off with a sickle.

Josette Key    2010

Poem Details | by Nitesh Aggarwal |
Categories: family, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, husband, school, teen, wife,

Girl In My Class

There once was a girl in my class.
One day I tried to make a pass.
My cheek still sting,
My ears still ring,
Yet married to me; Alas!