Pythagoras once fell off a ladder
And landed on a venomous adder
This adder couldn't add
Calculus made it sad
Algebra and theorems made it madder.
Our friendship here had only just started
then you left me alone, broken hearted
you're gone but not forgotten
now life it seems so rotten
ever since the sad day you departed.
We miss you, Chan :)
This was my sadder take on the "poet who broke my heart" contest theme.
Slams Destroyed Her Head
She was slammed by slam poetry, boo hoo!
Some folks wondered about the hullabaloo.
When bombarded with dread,
Sad thoughts destroyed her head.
Now, she thinks she’s a blithering cuckoo!
© July 17, 2010
There’s a peach of a girl named P.D.
Who is a friend of both you and me
She’s gone away
I already miss her today
Her kind words and Queen Slam poetry
*If you find another sad limerick let me know*
There was a vampire named Vlad7
The Village all thought he was bad7
But the true story5
Just wasn't gory5
It turns out Vlad was just sad7
There's a gal known as Karma; she'll charm ya,
and folks, I don't want to alarm ya,
but do somebody wrong,
and you'll sing a sad song
'cause she'll hunt ya down; then she'll harm ya!
April 29, 2018
Funny limericks are a welcomed treat
They're comic relief that can't be beat
Jan's limericks are the best
Never dull, I will attest
Reading them makes my sad, sour days more sweet
Sunflower has a smiling face,
When planted in a sunny place,
Those planted in the shade
Soon look miserable and fade
Sad because they are misplaced.
I’m done I say, I’m mad and sad.
The ones that won were rather bad
I won’t try again
Sponsor rigged the win
I always knew he was a cad
Theme: Quitters Never Win Poetry Contests
Sponsor: Margarita Lillico
Watched a nature program about Africa last night
And the animals that roam free what a glorious sight
Survival of the fittest
Can make us grimace
As the prey succumbs in a fight for their life
Hard to watch!!!
© Jack Ellison 2015
Poor Bob was a kind of a dork
He kept eating soup with a fork
We wasn't to bright
Sad was his plight
When he took his pig to New York
In the beginning, when man became-
Murder and death seemed a fun game.
This was not what God meant
When giving us consent-
To our own choice, only man is to blame.
Constipated senator Ron Thump
Got frustrated whilst taking a dump
Eww what a sad minger
He used his forefinger …
and extracted it all in a lump!
9TH June 2016
February arrives and it's glad
makes the other months look kinda sad
hearts and love it stands for
romance, flowers what’s more
for only twenty nine days that's not bad.
To the depth of my soul, I'm in love with life
Whether filled with joy or occasional strife
The good, the bad
Happy or sad
Too bad we don't get to go around twice
Ah, If Columbus had not sailed
for America: the new land,
cigarettes wouldn't kill
those feeling the chill...
many would be alive, not dead!
A sad old flea and a silly old gnat
were boogieing it down
on the neck of an aristocrat
When suddenly Splat
And that was that
There once was a ram who retired,
who really was terribly tired.
Having serviced the lot,
he should have have been shot.
But the gun thankfully backfired.
A shy, young spinster, named Sue,
felt sad, cause her lovers were few!
So, she walked out the door,
wearing a fig-leaf - no more!
Now, she's in bed.with the flu!
Went to Wal-Mart to buy a Christmas ham
All I could find was a giant traffic jam
Near the toys__decorations
By my calculations
Come day after Christmas, dumpsters see cram
Excuse me please, pardon me, thank you ma’am.
Hold the door, turn the cheek, that’s who I am.
Facetiousness, so sad,
By any name is bad.
Hateful pretense is why I’m against slam.
Jul 17 2010 For Dane's "anti slam" contest
Day one without our lim'rick dad
It's cloudy and I feel quite sad
I sneak in his room
Try on his perfume
and call his harem to come to his pad
Oh give me a rope
With a noose that is loose
And i'll tie it up on a beam
Then give me a pill
That will give me a thrill
And i'll end it all on a high
Death Death is the way
For life is to sucky to play
So give me a gun
That is loaded for fun
And i'll blow my brains far away.
Girl and Cell Phone
The phone was stuck to her ear.
Everyone she wanted to hear.
Every moment thus consumed,
Her life not resumed,
Sad life – it doth appear!
Ted got nissed as a pewt last night
Tried walking, his legs were not right
He stumbled and fell
Woke up in a cell …
He’ll be back in the pub tonight!
Submitted to Any poem not for a contest sponsored by Broken Wings
27th February 2016