Limerick Poems About Woman | Woman Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Lindsay Laurie |
Categories: humor,

Charitable Me

A woman crying, was looking around.
It appears that she lost one hundred pound,
so I think it is fair
that I show her I care -
I gave her ten from the hundred I found.

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Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: funny, imagination, introspection, life, nature

Just Desserts For Unfaithful

  Any pretty woman turned his head
  He liked them all so it is said
  Then one day to his surprise
  They no longer caught his eye
   His sexual desire totally died

Poem Details | by Timothy Brumley |
Categories: family, funny, mother

A Clean Hacienda

There once was a woman named Linda

Who would keep a clean hacienda

     Till four children she bore

     And then bore she one more...

She now has a different agenda!

                            Timothy IBrumley

Poem Details | by Cynthia Jones |
Categories: humor, imagery, inspiration, poetry, september, writing,

Cross-Eyed Woman -Limerick-

Cross eyed woman had a nasty fall after running into a brick wall she was hit over the head with a big loaf of bread while trying to play basketball Copyright Cynthia Jones Sept.23/2004

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: humorous,

She's Dry - Written Especially For Armand

She’s as dry as a woman can be No longer wet from dribbling wee She’s got 'Tom' in her pants She can run, she can dance No more leaks, she is now so carefree 30th March 2015

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: body, humorous,

Flat On His Back

A randy old fella named Jack Always went sleep on his back His todger would rise Right up to the skies It’s only a woman he’d lack! 21st March 2016

Poem Details | by Lindsay Laurie |
Categories: humor,


I was concerned for my closest mate Gus,
He had problems he needs to discuss,
It’s a woman Gus said,
It’s the one that you wed...
I’ve heard she’s been cheating on us.

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: funny, giggle, humor, lust, passion, sexy, woman,

Jan's Halloween Dream

Jan's spouse said she's gilding the lilies
For treating herself to new frillies
All the neighbours got hot
When they saw what she bought
And that really gave Jan the willies!

Poem Details | by Michelle Faulkner |
Categories: funny, humor, nonsense, silly,

Polite Fight

Today, I got into a Polite Fight
Over the last Wonder Woman night-light
"Oh, its yours," I insisted,
She demurred, I resisted,
Until I gave in and let her be right!


Poem Details | by Lim'Rik Flats |
Categories: nonsense,

For Jan - Not Contest

I know a woman who pees
with every succulent sneeze
It gets on her hose
and also on those
things hanging down to her knees! 

*Jan - I'll bet you've got a photo on file which would go with this

Poem Details | by Dale Gregory Cozart |
Categories: humor,

Polly No Wanna

A woman named Polly wouldn't yield, though grown men wanted to plow her field. “Without a ring you will fail. I've thrown big stones in your trail. My field now has a chastity shield.”

Poem Details | by Linda Alice Fowler |
Categories: fruit, funny, humorous, kiss, lust, sleep, woman,

Snow White

Snow White took an unladylike bite
of a big red apple polished bright
	she snoozed quite a while
	he kissed her with guile
and they shared an afternoon delight

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: growing up, woman,

The Fastest Girl in Town

   Jane was the fastest girl in her small town
   By age sixteen she'd been passed all around
      Jane went dancing one night
      Drank way too much, got tight
   Woke up next morn ~ a woman of renown

Poem Details | by Phyllis Babcock |
Categories: birthday, humor,

Age Humor

There was a woman who had a birthday
No age would she ever give away
Everyday she ate bran
Now regular on the can
A strong odor she did display.


Poem Details | by Timothy Brumley |
Categories: animals, funny, social

A Club Sandwich

There once was a woman named Tracy

Who wore clothes that were a bit racy

     Till she got drunk in a club

     And was mistaken for grub

By the wolves who thought her quite tasty!

                               Timothy IBrumley

Poem Details | by Sima Mittal |
Categories: children, kids, funny, woman,

The Chocolate

The Chocolate!

She is a deliciously smart gal,
For each and everyone's her pal.
Be it in the brownie or cake,
Or the icy cold milk shake.
She sure can change everyone's morale!

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: america, confusion, funny, history, language, spoken word, woman,

The Boston Tea Party - 1773

An ancestor known as, "Miss Lottie"
Was a New York socialite "hottie"
To her lasting disgrace
She slapped Paul Revere's face
When he invited her to the p-ah-ty

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: football, fun, games, silly, soccer, sports, woman,


A pretty Welsh girl in Caerphilly
Was invited to play ball with Willie
One kick to his ball
Caused Willie to fall
So she thought the game was quite silly!

Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: funny,

Get Well Soon

I had a Head Nurse that was just born mean The ugliest woman I'd ever seen A voice like sharp ice Never could be nice She made old Nurse Ratchet seem like a queen

Poem Details | by Viv Wigley |
Categories: abuse, religion,


My bigotry festered and grew
then out of control it just blew
but I just couldn't see
since you're different from me
surely I must be different from you

(A kneejerk reaction poem about the man who abused then
tore the Hijaab off a Muslim woman on a local train , last weekend)

Poem Details | by Thvia Shetley |
Categories: funny,

Epitaph of a Run-Away Bride

Here lies a woman of hedonist fame,
her Je ne sais quoi had no restrain.
Any man who proposed
found her not so disposed
and never could find her again!


Poem Details | by John Smith |
Categories: mother,

There Was An Old Woman Who Lived In a Shoe

The old woman in the shoe scandal 
who had those kids, too much to handle 
Now that they are full grown
and she is home alone, 
she'll down-size to a sandal.

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: woman,

Long Live the Queen

Though her reign has had rarely a flaw, England’s queen once or twice dropped her jaw. She’s enjoyed a long life As both mother and wife. Not so much as a mother-in-law! For the Long Live the Queen Contest of Judy Konos

Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: humor,

Limerick: Once a Tennis Woman Named Sue Baule

Limerick : Once a Tennis Woman named Sue Baule

Once a Tennis Woman named Sue Baule
Tried to avoid being called : « Screw Ball ! »
So she got her haïr cut
In the shape of a snout
Since at French Open gets dubbed : « Screwed Doll ! »  

© TWignesan – Paris,  2013

Poem Details | by John Williams |
Categories: humorous,

High Maintenance Woman

A stunning woman, so beautiful and polite,
But causing concern, I'm thinking twice,
My girl puts my credit card to much use
Tantamount to severe financial abuse,
Although, I do enjoy her other vice.