Written by
Tim Smith
Categories:
humorous,
Laughter Is the Best Medicine - Limerick Contest
(Un)Happy Hour
Bob went to the doc with pain in his rear
Walked with a limp and was "loaded" with fear
doc hemmed and he hawed
amazed what he saw
Stashed deep in Bob's butt were two pints of beer
Written by
Dale Gregory Cozart
Categories:
humor, planet, stars,
The Moon In Astrology
Just what can astrology gain us?
The confusion surely must pain us.
Just how are you behooved--
Not to mention improved--
By knowing the moon's in Ur-anus?
Written by
Sidney Hall Mad Poet
Categories:
funny
Good Night
“It is pointless me using this,” he said
As he held it laying in bed
He tried it again
Which made him feel great pain
So he slept with his night cap off of his head
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
perspective,
Plumb Line
Our neighbour is plumbing Mum's drain
As some drips were causing her pain
But mum is no fool
And his "special" tool
Like Dad's, will just make yellow rain
Written by
Jennifer Proxenos
Categories:
pain,
SWELL TOM HOME SWEET HOME
Hey Tom, you look well cared for and well fed,
Sure you longed to sleep in your own bed,
You must've had pain, hope they spoiled you,
More medication, preferred a whiskey or two,
Which nurse did you like best, which one a dread.
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
god, hockey, humor, sports,
march 17 hockey holy trinity
They're pagans on ice with wood sticks
And maximum pain each inflicts
But Saint Patrick knows
God prefers trios
Like three-leaf shamrocks and hat tricks
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
health, humorous,
Dental Drama
My dentist’s such a sadistic guy
No injection, I emit a cry
Open mouthed at his bill
Pain is much worse until
Quite slyly I knee him in his fly!
1/10/19
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
body,
Sipping Champagn
My body's all aching and wracked with pain
Not sure I want to travel this highway again
Once is enough
The journey's been tough
Who am I kidding, life's been like sipping champagne
Written by
Paul Schneiter
Categories:
pain,
Constricted
Walt Willis had a pain in the crotch.
He vowed to stop drinking so much scotch.
But that wasn't to blame
the cause was clearly plain.
His gut needed a belt with a new notch.
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
happiness,
Like Sipping Champagne
My body's all aching and wracked with pain
Not sure I want to travel this highway again
Once is enough
Journey's been tough
Who am I kidding, life's been like sipping champagne
Written by
James Horn
Categories:
allegory, analogy,
What I Did Always Wrong
More of my agony I will prolong,
Which seems to be same old song;
Tears bring;
Pain being,
And what I did was always wrong.
Jim Horn
Written by
Joshua Lacey
Categories:
funny
Take a Risk - Ode To Bowling
Roll the ball with utmost care
By the gutters if you dare!
Don't go slidding down the lane
Don't want to think of how much pain!
Of a lousy score beware!
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
children, humorous,
Dennis the Menace
Dennis the Menace is his Mother's bane!
He drives his neighbor George Wilson insane!
A saint
He ain't
But he's a loveable imp though a pain!
Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
Written by
Shadow Hamilton
Categories:
drink, fun, new year,
Happy New Year
Hic, oh my! hic am drunk again,
My head is spinning with pain.
T-was the demon drink
Caught me on the blink.
Somehow ended up in Spain.
12/30/2014
contest A Quintain Christmas
phrase Happy New Year
Written by
Sherif Goda
Categories:
beautiful, beauty, nature,
Natural Beauty
The nature surrounds us everywhere
In deep running water or high flying air
So we need not to complain
We have to forget our pain
Let's look at natural beauty and stare
Written by
Sara Kendrick
Categories:
funny, happiness, health
Honey Bun
There was once a man from Thomaston
He called his wife honey bun
His knee joint went out
In pain he did shout
Viagra's no longer number one
Written by
Justin Time
Categories:
death, life, pain, sad, sorrow, suicide,
Death Is Good
Oh give me a rope
With a noose that is loose
And i'll tie it up on a beam
Then give me a pill
That will give me a thrill
And i'll end it all on a high
Death Death is the way
For life is to sucky to play
So give me a gun
That is loaded for fun
And i'll blow my brains far away.
Written by
Gail Debole
Categories:
animals, funny,
Hotter Than Heck
Written in the late 1970's
Updated on June 12, 2012
In the summer, a zebra exclaimed,
"That sweaty lion can keep his mane!
It's a pain 'round his neck
When he's hotter than heck.
My white stripes will reflect the sun's rays!"
Written by
Richard D Seal
Categories:
fun,
No Pain, No Gain
No Pain, No Gain
I once knew a poet named Dick
Too sensitive to take the stick
So hurt was his pride
He cried and he cried
Till he grew a skin ever so thick
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
life,
My Family Doctor
Never ever had a family doctor for most of my life
But since becoming an old fart, now I never ever think twice
A pain in my lower regions
Or my neck or some unknown adhesions
Off I toddle, don't rely on the roll of the dice
© Jack Ellison 2015
Written by
Richard Pickett
Categories:
friendship,
A Poet, Named Robert Dufresne
There is a Poet, named Robert Dufresne,
I laugh at his Poetry until I'm insane
with Brick Townsend, he plays,
a collaborative game
But Bill Lipton's Horse is a pain.
Written by
Viv Wigley
Categories:
humor, pain,
The Zipper
(my tribute to Limerickmeister Jack Ellison, smile engine extraordinaire)
I remember the time when I caught a
bit of my body parts where I oughtn't a
in much pain did I struggle
with my bits I did juggle
it really did make my eyes water!
Written by
Ralph Taylor
Categories:
funny
Fly Spy
As a fly on the wall of Larry's domain
I would witness first hand the cause of his pain
Once I saw what I saw
Larry's Mother-in-Law
I'm sure that I'd never go back there again!
Written by
Eduardo Soriano
Categories:
beauty, emotions, life, men, pain, poems, truth,
Unobtainable Love
There is a beauty that covers with clouds.
But even cries of help don't reach its careful sound.
Entreat and persist and it'll have you blocked.
Money and bling will only make you look ponged.
No covet will reach it but you still plead it out loud.
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
philosophy, war
An Eye For An Eye
Who adores an ancient lore chore
And loves to see gore and wage war
Yet sore pouring pain?
This stems from an old brain
A story of man’s evil core