A struggle ensued at the zoo
when King Lion met Jack Kangaroo.
Leo tried to attack,
but Jack fired right back:
"Are you crazy, Cat? I know Kung Fu!"
For Geraldine Taylor's The Creative Collective Anthology Series - Comic Version
I had a black cat called Magoo
The slippers and clothes it would chew
This damaged its jaw
And broke every claw
Thank goodness I had super glue!
Furry Friend contest by Royal T.
A bossy old cow in the street
was rolling while licking its teat!
When it howled like a cat,
I thought: What’s up with that?
Can bossy old cows be in heat?
Inspired by both a poem and the limerick contest of Jan Allison
Oh dear, no! To that bath place I go!
In that sink to be drenched head to toe!
Into devil, I turn
In my hell, you will burn-
This mad kitten's revenge you will know!
February 19, 2016
MrsCat, I'm bringing back your kitten
I'm completely done with baby sittin'
She cried all day
Not worth the pay
And , so sorry, we couldn't find her mitten
For the "Tell Me About It " contest
Love bodily functions, no question bout that
Sometimes my best ones even frighten the cat
They climb up a pole
It can sure take its toll
Some end up cross eyed unable to nap
I still haven't found my Miss Right;
the girl with the cat was a fright:
she farted all day
and stank of decay,
then played with her pussy all night...
for the Baggage contest
There was a Black Cat in Miami
There was a Black Cat in Miami
Whose owners were told he’s Siami
But he’s just a Black Cat
Nothing special about that
Disappointed those folks of Miami
Cousin Bell moved into a maisonette,
Was promptly told she could not have a pet
Not a cat or dog
Not a fish or frog
What about a gorilla she just met?
A poet was trying to think
When her cat tipped over the ink
As she tried to blot
Each puddle and dot
She discovered the missing link
Three cats did share the same house.
Two sweet but one was a grouse.
Two got along great but the third t'was love/hate.
But there isn't a mouse in the house.
Ever notice cats just don't give a poop
Try to be nice to them here on the Soup
But all I get
Scratches I regret
Damn felines so low they wouldn't stoop
There’s a kitty I have that is white.
When I pet him, he purrs with delight.
Then directly he goes
with his mouth to my nose
and with tiny sharp teeth gives a bite!
Nov 5, 2022
For Tania Kitchin's A Funny Limerick - Make Me Laugh Poetry Contest
There is a strange animal in our zoo called a meerkat
That makes me laugh every time I look at
Although “kat” is in its name
It’s no feline just the same
So you can say the meerkat is no mere cat.
There once was Princess the cat
Who found a big fat hairy rat
She brought it in to play
But mother said no way
And found her a very big metal bat
Louise Gratton always wore a hat on,
Even on her bicycle when she sat on,
They were various colours and design,
Her millinery skills always fine,
Now she's making one to put her cat on.
There was a large cat from Llanelli
Who was terribly fond of spaghetti
One day out of menace
He travelled to Venice
Where he dined in the sun on a jetty.
There was a cat from the city
who thought she was purrfectly pretty
But a dog chased her down
Almost running her out of town
And that did upset Miss Kitty
You best be believin'
That Miss Kitty got even
She rounded up a cat posse
And they scratched up the doggie
Now the poor mutt is grievin'
A dog and a cat and a flea,
All sat down to some tea,
They all ate some ham,
With some bread and some jam,
And were all as content as can be.
He called himself Homer the house cat
And mostly ate tuna with pork fat
After lunch he'd meow
'Nearly upchuck his chow!
And grin like an overstuffed wombat!
cats in my neighborhood agree
there is something you'd like to see
if you stay out all night
and meow until light
a man with a club climbs a tree
There once was a cat named Lucky
Thrown from a car that was junky
With a broken jaw
And a broken paw
Now she is pretty much spunky
My Persian LICKS with abandon
A cat with a mission in hand'en
When suddenly he chokes
HAIRBALLS stuck in his throat
And upchucks over me where I'm standin'!
Written on 5/20/2015
I wake at two a.m
Cats outside my window
Fighting screeching moaning
Honey, what the heck is going on
I don't know
But, could you stop with all the singing
Screaming cat, what's up with you?
Seated on my fence at a quarter of two
The night is short, the hour's deep
Leave me be to enjoy my sleep
Oh what I wouldn't give for a shoe!