Written by
Timothy Brumley
Categories:
family, funny, mother
A Clean Hacienda
There once was a woman named Linda
Who would keep a clean hacienda
Till four children she bore
And then bore she one more...
She now has a different agenda!
Timothy IBrumley
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
family, happiness
Rock, Paper and Scissors
The scissors are beaten by the rock
Man made steel has been left in shock
Now the rock has been beat
By a flimsy light sheet
The winning paper is where our words talk
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous,
Keep It In the Family
In flagranti with an unknown lover
Sprang apart from underneath the cover
How his wife she did shout
Now his secret was out -
His hidden lover was her own mother!
4th March 2015
Written by
Michael Wise
Categories:
family, food, horse, humorous,
My Sweet Aunt Mabel
There is my sweet Aunt Mabel
sitting across the table
ever since her divorce
she eats like a horse
so we put her up in a stable
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
baby, humorous,
Name and Shame
Got married, my surname’s now Cotton,
Our baby’s name can’t be forgotten,
We called her ‘ Polly Esther’
(I’m considered a jester)
My family thought we were rotten!
11/06/20
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
silly,
Temperamental
My family is temperamental..half temper..half mental
Some days both apply, but I try not to be judgemental
We should all try to get along
But at times relief's prolonged
When the pot boils over, temper and mental are coincidental
Written by
David Fisher
Categories:
family, fun, grief,
Out Of Our Hands
A relative who used to be a good fit
Has evolved into something we must admit
Has a unique downside
Like a Jekyll and Hyde
Now if you give him a hand, it might get bit
Written by
Frank Mashina
Categories:
family, humor, marriage, social,
Mom’s Photo Secret
Mom said, “No sex before marriage,”
With rules she thought were quite sage.
But in her wedding shot,
I see a twist in the plot—
Was her vow just a part of the age?
Written by
Edward Ebbs
Categories:
family, funny, life,
Beers and Tears
Men measure life by the number of beers
Women measure life by the flow of tears
It is when the dad farts
His wife moans in her heart
Because her own children laugh and cheer
Edward J Ebbs - October 11, 2011
Written for a poem Contest, Limericks Hilarious
Written by
Jack Horne
Categories:
family,
Aunt In Jail
My drunken old aunty’s in jail,
She murdered a man for his ale,
And although she is bad,
I suppose she is mad
She isn’t allowed out on bail.
For Judy’s Relatives contest
(Purely fictional)
Written by
Jaycee Cervenka
Categories:
celebration, easter, family, fun,
Egg Hunt
The Easter egg hunt was a blast,
With everyone running quite fast
Confetti in our hair
Not to mention underwear
Let's hope that dye isn't cast.
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
life,
My Family Doctor
Never ever had a family doctor for most of my life
But since becoming an old fart, now I never ever think twice
A pain in my lower regions
Or my neck or some unknown adhesions
Off I toddle, don't rely on the roll of the dice
© Jack Ellison 2015
Written by
John Smith
Categories:
family, joy,
Joy
There once was a girl by the name Joy
who got joy whenever she'd annoy
Her poor little brother
she swapped for another
Now; him, too, she would love to destroy.
Written by
Dustin Craig
Categories:
confusion, dark, death, depression, goodbye, lonely, loss, stress, suicide,
Mediocre Man
There once was a man that was lackluster
Who's life was one giant cluster
Writes a suicide note
He slits his throat
Blank stares are all his family can muster
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
abortion, international, leadership, political, prejudice, women, word play,
Trump Family Planning
Donald Trump opposes abortion
The President favors extortion
"We must keep them dumb
And under out thumb
To grope the greatest proportion"
Written by
Tirzah Conway
Categories:
allegory, family, father, funny, husband, mother, wife
She Really Did Get This Call
I wish I could be a fly on the wall,
When my poor old mother gets the phone call,
“He’s here at the bar
Quick bring us your car,
Your husband just got in a brawl”
Written by
Nitesh Aggarwal
Categories:
computer-internet, family, children, funny, husband, wedding, wife
Double Disappointment
I woke up in rapture, when she started to sing.
Naughty whispers in my ears, “Someone’s coming”
My ecstatic view;
A child is due!
Then she continues, “My mother’s visiting”
Written by
William Kershaw
Categories:
family, fantasy, father
My Favorite Shoes Ain'T Mine
My favorite shoes in the closet they sit.
I've never worn 'em not even a bit.
Cuz before I was born,
By my Dad they were worn,
I'll not wear them 'til I'm sure they'll fit.
Just for SKAT's contest
Written by
Black Eyed Susan
Categories:
animals, funny,
Tyrantasaurus Rexsue
There once was a T-Rex named Thor
Who found he couldn't reach for
His family jewels
So improvised "tools" -
That's why all the dinos are saur!
If you judge by the
size of it's feet, the T-Rex
was ENORMOUS.
3/16/12
for "Show Me the Funny" contest
Written by
Kim Merryman
Categories:
family,
Dan's Clan
There once was a young man named Dan,
Who married a woman named Anne.
Three kids plus one more,
Males a total of four,
Now it's Dan and Anne and their clan.
8/5/2013
(written in honor of my son Daniel and family)
Written by
Ralph Taylor
Categories:
childhood, family
Randa's Little Bears
It's a picture of Lucas and me.
We're cuties you have to agree.
The love that we share
with our Mom "Randa Bear",
is in the smile on my face that you see.
Poet: Ralph Taylor 5/2/11
Contest: Brotherly Love
Written by
Cassie Smith
Categories:
family, friendship, funny, happiness, hope, life, love, mother, nature, passion, seasons,
Mothers Day
Mothers are the best
They are like a test
They are very loving
They like a flower budding
The treat us like a fest.
Written by
Janice Canerdy
Categories:
family,
I Just Had To Do That Search
Rich white-collar crooks wearing suits,
street walkers, and rowdy old coots,
bank robbers, dope dealers,
bootleggers, fake healers--
I found while pursuing my roots!
fictional!
July 15, 2018, entered in Carolyn Devonshire's Limerick contest
Written by
Nitesh Aggarwal
Categories:
childhood, death, family, funny, husband, wedding, wife,
Roman Wedlock
A baby, pious, was born by aide
He named it Gaias, and felt like a jade
While he cried,
Cause mommy died.
His wife hired yet another maid.
Written by
Barbara Gorelick
Categories:
family, funny,
Poor Man
We never thought she'd find the right man
Find a more fickle bride if you can..
Poor man hasn't a chance
She's in charge of romance
He stepped into the fire from the pan
Written in haste for the
"Cousins Wedding" contest...
my appologies...lol