Best Limerick Poems

These are some of the best limerick poems written by web poets on PoetrySoup.com.

See also: examples of limerick poems


Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: farm, humorous, sexy,

Mary In the Dairy

A curvaceous lady named Mary Just loved having sex in the dairy When smothered with whipped cream Her beau would lick her clean… His Calorie intake was scary!!! 14th June 2016



Poem Details | by David Fisher |
Categories: animal, farm, funny,

Rear View Air

As soon as we got to the county fair
The country odor got through my nose hair
Coz above some milk pails
We encountered cow tails
Which filled our senses with their dairy-air


Poem Details | by Judith Angell Meyer |
Categories: funny, imagination, song-

His Funeral

That he planned his funeral is factual
And being a prankster quite actual
He prerecorded his voice
So when we kneeled on the joist
He said, "Hi there! Don't I look natural."


Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: spring,

Spring Forward

In spring time fresh flowers are rising New lambs in the fields – not surprising In every hedgerow and tree Lush beauty will surround me It’s heaven; there is no disguising 02~16~15 Contest: Spring Forward -Debbie Guzzi Syllables checked 9 9 7 7 9


Poem Details | by Ralph Taylor |
Categories: funny

Gimme a Brake

A UFO went to land in Dakota
But the brakes didn't work one iota.
        It didn't take long
        to decide what was wrong
seems the space ship was made by Toyota!


Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: humorous, lust, natural disasters,

Oops - It's a Bit of a Cock Up

Ted enjoys a quick roll in the hay... He’s sleeping with his buxom P A She confirmed she’s with child Ted baulked, then got quite riled I wonder what his wife’s got to say! 5/26/18


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: journey, life,

The Arc of Life

Travelling through life resembles an arc We start out as a child emerging from the dark To reach a crescendo Establishing a tempo Then sadly we all must eventually disembark © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: anti bullying, poetry,

I Admit I Write Poop Poetry

A poet - some deem that I’m not I write about farting and snot Won’t be driven away I am here to stay Of critics, I don’t give a jot 3/21/19



Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: friendship, thank you, tribute,

Cash Cow

I was blessed by a golden cash cow She’s a wonderful friend to me now For those in the know She goes with the flow Here’s my tribute, may she take a bow! 12~27~16


Poem Details | by Jack Horne |
Categories: music

Anno

There once was a banshee called Anno,
Who was learning to play the piano.
She was doomed to fail,
And started to wail -
And now she’s a world class soprano.


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: friendship,

Friendships For Life

Some people you meet leave an lasting impression Some pass through without even a mention The ones that stand out Leave us no doubt Friendships for life are without exception


Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: body, clothes, humorous,

Toeing the Line - Bawdy Limerick

Sue’s panties gave her so much woe - She suffered from dire ‘camel toe’ But with help from soft plastic Her new outline’s fantastic It’s discrete and no one would know! 4/5/18


Poem Details | by Jesse Rowe |
Categories: bird, food, funny,

Fatso

They said how she ate was absurd;
A "Fatso", they called her she heard,
And ever since then
That poor, baby wren
Just pecked at her food like a bird.

8.31.18
Contest: Any Animal or Creature Limerick


Poem Details | by Judith S |
Categories: anger,

Mute It

What causes those daft in the head To hurt others with things they’ve said If you must then vent Your jealous intent Perhaps you should mute it instead.


Poem Details | by Dean Wood |
Categories: ocean,

Kelp Me With This Won'T You

A young mermaid from old Shangri-La
Had a Math quiz --- right after her spa 
So she thought, “What to wear,
That will make the boys stare?”
Then she picked out her best algae-bra!


Poem Details | by Lindsay Laurie |
Categories: humor,

Rumour

An email just received is a sham,
stating swine flu comes from tins of ham,
but don’t get a fright,
for this is not right,
when the email claims ham, well it’s spam.


Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor, january,

Jan You Wary

The Russians, of course, think its cool
To jump in an icy-cold pool
But I'm not a fool
And made a Mule Rule:
Dive only where warmth greets my tool!


Poem Details | by Tom Cunningham |
Categories: humor,

The Wealthy Old Man From Kansas

'There was a wealthy old man from Kansas 
Wasn't concerned if he caught the virus 
He was wealthy you could tell
Owned ten rolls of cottonelle
Said If I die "least I've got a clean A. S. S. ".



Written 13th March 2020


Poem Details | by Tania Kitchin |
Categories: angst, bullying, grief,

Phony Facade

They protest to not be a drama queen
but just can't wait to jump into the scene
Pretending to be a friend
Verbal daggers they extend
Their true colors are now vibrantly seen


Poem Details | by John Lawless |
Categories: fun,

JAN'S FANS

Alas ‘tis the fate of plucky Jan
To write her poetry while on the can
Her pen’s been known to scoop
A sprinkling of poop
And gleefully to let it hit the fan


Poem Details | by Linda Alice Fowler |
Categories: fun, giggle, humor, silly,

Our Bawdy Queen

Now, the time has come for bawdy things
from no other than our queen of queens.
	As she takes the throne,
	the crowd emits a groan.
This, the reign of the Queen of Obscenes.


Poem Details | by Bill Baker |
Categories: adventure, car, crazy, fun, race, sports, world,

Gumball Rally

We entered the Gumball Rally
My driver was “Backstreets” Tally
With his crazy fast car
We still couldn’t get far
Bad math, no gas, in Death Valley


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny,

Zoo Limerick

A struggle ensued at the zoo

when King Lion met Jack Kangaroo.

Leo tried to attack,

but Jack fired right back:

"Are you crazy, Cat? I know Kung Fu!"


For Geraldine Taylor's  The Creative Collective Anthology Series - Comic Version


Poem Details | by Kristin Carter |
Categories: imagination, life, nature, places,

I Met This Charming Moonbeam Last Night

The arms of the willow started to sway
and this curious glow rippled my way.
While flirting with my feet,
nature played a song so sweet.
The lake our dance floor 'til the sun's first ray.


Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: humorous,

Juicy Fruit

A busty young lady from Peel Her boobies she couldn't conceal They were such a huge size That she won a first prize For the fruit men most wanted to feel 7th April 2015 I made a bit of a boob on the 2nd line - thanks Paul Callus for your advice