Best Limerick Poems

These are some of the best limerick poems written by web poets on PoetrySoup.com.

See also: examples of limerick poems

A curvaceous lady named Mary
Just loved having sex in the dairy
When smothered with whipped cream
Her beau would lick her clean…
His Calorie intake was scary!!!

14th June 2016

That he planned his funeral is factual
And being a prankster quite actual
He prerecorded his voice
So when we kneeled on the joist
He said, "Hi there! Don't I look natural."

In spring time fresh flowers are rising
New lambs in the fields – not surprising
In every hedgerow and tree
Lush beauty will surround me
It’s heaven; there is no disguising

02~16~15
Contest: Spring Forward -Debbie Guzzi
Syllables checked 9 9 7 7 9

A UFO went to land in Dakota
But the brakes didn't work one iota.
        It didn't take long
        to decide what was wrong
seems the space ship was made by Toyota!

Travelling through life resembles an arc
We start out as a child emerging from the dark
To reach a crescendo
Establishing a tempo
Then sadly we all must eventually disembark


© Jack Ellison 2015

Ted enjoys a quick roll in the hay...
He’s sleeping with his buxom P A
She confirmed she’s with child
Ted baulked, then got quite riled
I wonder what his wife’s got to say!

5/26/18

I was blessed by a golden cash cow
She’s a wonderful friend to me now
For those in the know
She goes with the flow
Here’s my tribute, may she take a bow!

12~27~16

A poet - some deem that I’m not
I write about farting and snot
Won’t be driven away
I am here to stay 
Of critics, I don’t give a jot

3/21/19

There once was a banshee called Anno,
Who was learning to play the piano.
She was doomed to fail,
And started to wail -
And now she’s a world class soprano.

Some people you meet leave an lasting impression
Some pass through without even a mention
The ones that stand out
Leave us no doubt
Friendships for life are without exception

Sue’s panties gave her so much woe -
She suffered from dire ‘camel toe’
But with help from soft plastic
Her new outline’s fantastic
It’s discrete and no one would know!

4/5/18

They said how she ate was absurd;
A "Fatso", they called her she heard,
And ever since then
That poor, baby wren
Just pecked at her food like a bird.

8.31.18
Contest: Any Animal or Creature Limerick

A young mermaid from old Shangri-La
Had a Math quiz --- right after her spa 
So she thought, “What to wear,
That will make the boys stare?”
Then she picked out her best algae-bra!

What causes those daft in the head
To hurt others with things they’ve said
If you must then vent
Your jealous intent
Perhaps you should mute it instead.

My Tomcat drives me up the walls
On neighbourhood kitties he calls
Sired more than one kitten
With sex he is smitten
He’s gonna be losing his balls!

A Funny or Bawdy Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin
04/30/23

An email just received is a sham,
stating swine flu comes from tins of ham,
but don’t get a fright,
for this is not right,
when the email claims ham, well it’s spam.

The Russians, of course, think its cool
To jump in an icy-cold pool
But I'm not a fool
And made a Mule Rule:
Dive only where warmth greets my tool!

I went to the shops with my bride,
Our nakedness we didn’t hide,
We followed what folk ask -
Just wear gloves and a mask,
Both bereft, we stood there and cried!

03/22/20

'There was a wealthy old man from Kansas 
Wasn't concerned if he caught the virus 
He was wealthy you could tell
Owned ten rolls of cottonelle
Said If I die "least I've got a clean A. S. S. ".



Written 13th March 2020

They protest to not be a drama queen
but just can't wait to jump into the scene
Pretending to be a friend
Verbal daggers they extend
Their true colors are now vibrantly seen

A struggle ensued at the zoo

when King Lion met Jack Kangaroo.

Leo tried to attack,

but Jack fired right back:

"Are you crazy, Cat? I know Kung Fu!"


For Geraldine Taylor's  The Creative Collective Anthology Series - Comic Version

The arms of the willow started to sway
and this curious glow rippled my way.
While flirting with my feet,
nature played a song so sweet.
The lake our dance floor 'til the sun's first ray.

   On the Isle of Man lives a Ninja girl
   Daring in her act, makes your toesies curl
   She has a pretty face
   And sips her tea with grace
   Be not taken in – she’s no fragile pearl.


   ----------------------------------------------

   Sent with hugs by Lulu` Pascal

A busty young lady from Peel
Her boobies she couldn't conceal
They were such a huge size
That she won a first prize
For the fruit men most wanted to feel

7th April 2015

I made a bit of a boob on the 2nd line - thanks Paul Callus for your advice

Rock Girl

You are scissors, and all you can do
is to cut all those paper hearts through.
But I’ve hardened my heart
and before you can start
to destroy me, I’m going to SMASH you!

(Gosh, PD, they won't even permit the ~sign in the title!)