Limerick Poems About Women | Women Limerick Poems
Written by Funom Makama
Categories: bible, blessing, business, life, success, surreal,

Blessing Time

Gone is the time to fear any omen
bubbling like a city of fine women
fate never assumes
as bad luck so fumes
the hour has come as life says amen.


Written by Jack Ellison
Categories: love, women,

Your Sweet Sexy Smell

An obsession with the ladies I'll surely admit And the sweet sexy smell these sweeties emit Love every one Totally come undone When you touch my parts, it flips my switch © Jack Ellison 2015



Written by Kim Merryman
Categories: fun,

Hey Jude

There once was a man named Jude, who liked to run in the nude. Women blushed as he ran by, while the men began to cry, "Hey Jude! Put some clothes on, dude!" Quote: "Man is the only animal that blushes or needs to." 6/19/15 For Andrea's Wit of Twain contest


Written by Edward Ebbs
Categories: family, funny, life,

Beers and Tears

Men measure life by the number of beers
Women measure life by the flow of tears
It is when the dad farts
His wife moans in her heart
Because her own children laugh and cheer

Edward J Ebbs - October 11, 2011



Written for a poem Contest, Limericks Hilarious


Written by Duke Beaufort
Categories: funny, marriage, men, psychological, relationship, trust, women,

How To Give a Guy a Premarital Suitability Exam

Before the "I do" she must choose
A man that does well in dance shoes
His psyche gives a clue
When employing step two
Ply him to the limit with booze



Written by Joe Flach
Categories: funny

A Risque Limerick - Warning

Women battling the bulge is no surprise
Being looked at on the beach; the ultimate prize
   And when the battle they win
   It causes a grin
To notice a different bulge in the men's levis.


Written by Rico Leffanta
Categories: abortion, international, leadership, political, prejudice, women, word play,

Trump Family Planning

Donald Trump opposes abortion
The President favors extortion
"We must keep them dumb
And under out thumb
To grope the greatest proportion"


Written by Barbara Gorelick
Categories: christmas,

So What's Up With Santa

Poor Santa came down with a very bad cold
Thought he might have to put Xmas on hold
But Mrs Clause drove the sleigh
Rudolph laughed all the way
"The best Xmas ever!" so we've been told


Women rock! lol
For Jerry's contest...


Written by Kate Sparks
Categories: funny, gender, humorous,

Viagra

A little blue pill called Viagra
helps horny old men in Niagra.
So women beware,
anyone with a pair
is thinking of how he can shag ya.


Written by T Wignesan
Categories: beauty, fashion, women,

Limerick: Once a Born Blind Man Was Promised Full Sight

Limerick: Once a born blind man was promised full sight

Once a born blind man was promised full sight
By an ophthalmologist fully tight
     Two slits and dabs all told
     Saw in wonderful world –
Beauty Contest: gouged his own eyes outright.

© TWignesan – Paris,  2015


Written by Jack Ellison
Categories: beauty,

World's Most Beautiful Woman

There are so many gorgeous women in the world How can we choose ONE, that puts us ALL in a whirl Walk down the street Many beauties we meet Wind up with agastopia, my toes they do curl © Jack Ellison 2015
“agastopia” - admiration of a part of someone's body


Written by Jack Clark
Categories: care, character, humor, humorous, love, together,

You's and Me's

It’s not  “I’ll do what I can”,
That defines for women, her man
   Nor his strength
   Nor hair length.
It’s the “you’s”.not me’s”.of his plan


Written by Joe Flach
Categories: funny

Dying To Meet Women

There once was a man on the beach
Hoping for women to meet
      To try to look thin
      He held his breath in
And passed out dead at their feet.


Written by James Fraser
Categories: funnymyth,

It's a Myth, Women Do Like Spiders

The woman who dreamt of a spider
Awoke to find it inside her
With a scream and a yell
she thought, " oh! what the hell"
Eight hands, oh my! what a provider









http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/humour-6.php


Written by Seren Roberts
Categories: women,

Never Just a Woman

A Woman  is never "just a woman"
Helps man turn a house into a home
With sexual desires
To keep your hopes afire
Always will be Queen of your throne.


Penned June 1 2015


Written by Mike Dailey
Categories: love,

The Muffin Man

I’d like you to meet Muffin Man
And just so you all understand
His name comes from munchin’
And we ain’t talking luncheon
The women all say he sure can


Written by Duke Beaufort
Categories: addiction, humorous, men, women,

Ocd Ii

Most compulsives have never confessed
There are thoughts with which we're obsessed
Our inner vision
Views with great precision
The women our eyes have undressed


Written by Jimmy Anderson
Categories: funny

Dandy Randy

There once was a pris'ner named Randy 
who lived up to his name real Dandy
   The women he knew 
   could never be true 
for they'd rather have candy than Randy 



For Deborah Guzzi's Limerick contest


Written by Funom Makama
Categories: emotions, life, woman, women,

Dwindling Feminine Moods

Seeking redemption is seen as the reason for sweet adjectives
prone to behavioral constipation, refusing the laxatives
Sincere actions of love so pregnant
may also give images so poignant
emotions always cloud reasoning from seeing actual motives.


Written by Jack Ellison
Categories: fantasy,

Clothing Was Banned

Dreamt last night I was king of a land A paradise filled with gorgeous women and men Sunshine galore Couldn't ask for more Decreed in an edict, all clothing was banned


Written by David Bose
Categories: humor, thanksgiving,

Overlooked Tradition

Deprived pilgrim wives ruminated
On ways to get hubbies elated:
After Thanksgiving chow
Ogling men hollered “wow!”
As wet-shirted women they rated.


Written by Jan Allison
Categories: body, fun, gender,

I Wish -Not For Contest

I wish that I was born a boy I’d be blessed with a dangling toy Women call it a willy That name is so silly It’s an item that brings ladies joy Inspired by contest by Viv Wigley 5/4/18


Written by Ethan Plummer
Categories: angst,

Unable

we reach for nothingness
these things we cannot caress
our days never return from their nights
a women never receives her rights
long lives we live in games of chess


Written by Mike Dailey
Categories: son,

Tom Tom the Piper's Son

Tom Tom was the son of a piper
But here’s where the story gets riper
His dad, so they say
Could lay pipe night and day
Of his women, there wasn’t a griper


Written by Sidney Hall Mad Poet
Categories: funnyme,

To You Who Dumped Me

To all the women that dumped me over the years
I got something to tell you that will shed tears 
When I go down there
I don’t come up for air
Cause I learned to breathe through me ears