Limerick Poems About Women | Women Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Funom Makama |
Categories: bible, blessing, business, life, success, surreal,

Blessing Time

Gone is the time to fear any omen
bubbling like a city of fine women
fate never assumes
as bad luck so fumes
the hour has come as life says amen.

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Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: love, women,

Your Sweet Sexy Smell

An obsession with the ladies I'll surely admit And the sweet sexy smell these sweeties emit Love every one Totally come undone When you touch my parts, it flips my switch © Jack Ellison 2015

Poem Details | by Kim Merryman |
Categories: fun,

Hey Jude

There once was a man named Jude, who liked to run in the nude. Women blushed as he ran by, while the men began to cry, "Hey Jude! Put some clothes on, dude!" Quote: "Man is the only animal that blushes or needs to." 6/19/15 For Andrea's Wit of Twain contest

Poem Details | by Edward Ebbs |
Categories: family, funny, life,

Beers and Tears

Men measure life by the number of beers
Women measure life by the flow of tears
It is when the dad farts
His wife moans in her heart
Because her own children laugh and cheer

Edward J Ebbs - October 11, 2011

Written for a poem Contest, Limericks Hilarious

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: funny, marriage, men, psychological, relationship, trust, women,

How To Give a Guy a Premarital Suitability Exam

Before the "I do" she must choose
A man that does well in dance shoes
His psyche gives a clue
When employing step two
Ply him to the limit with booze

Poem Details | by Joe Flach |
Categories: funny

A Risque Limerick - Warning

Women battling the bulge is no surprise
Being looked at on the beach; the ultimate prize
   And when the battle they win
   It causes a grin
To notice a different bulge in the men's levis.

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: abortion, international, leadership, political, prejudice, women, word play,

Trump Family Planning

Donald Trump opposes abortion
The President favors extortion
"We must keep them dumb
And under out thumb
To grope the greatest proportion"

Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: christmas,

So What's Up With Santa

Poor Santa came down with a very bad cold
Thought he might have to put Xmas on hold
But Mrs Clause drove the sleigh
Rudolph laughed all the way
"The best Xmas ever!" so we've been told

Women rock! lol
For Jerry's contest...

Poem Details | by Kate Sparks |
Categories: funny, gender, humorous,


A little blue pill called Viagra
helps horny old men in Niagra.
So women beware,
anyone with a pair
is thinking of how he can shag ya.

Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: beauty, fashion, women,

Limerick: Once a Born Blind Man Was Promised Full Sight

Limerick: Once a born blind man was promised full sight

Once a born blind man was promised full sight
By an ophthalmologist fully tight
     Two slits and dabs all told
     Saw in wonderful world –
Beauty Contest: gouged his own eyes outright.

© TWignesan – Paris,  2015

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: beauty,

World's Most Beautiful Woman

There are so many gorgeous women in the world How can we choose ONE, that puts us ALL in a whirl Walk down the street Many beauties we meet Wind up with agastopia, my toes they do curl © Jack Ellison 2015
“agastopia” - admiration of a part of someone's body

Poem Details | by Jack Clark |
Categories: care, character, humor, humorous, love, together,

You's and Me's

It’s not  “I’ll do what I can”,
That defines for women, her man
   Nor his strength
   Nor hair length.
It’s the “you’s”.not me’s”.of his plan

Poem Details | by Joe Flach |
Categories: funny

Dying To Meet Women

There once was a man on the beach
Hoping for women to meet
      To try to look thin
      He held his breath in
And passed out dead at their feet.

Poem Details | by Seren Roberts |
Categories: women,

Never Just a Woman

A Woman  is never "just a woman"
Helps man turn a house into a home
With sexual desires
To keep your hopes afire
Always will be Queen of your throne.

Penned June 1 2015

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: funnymyth,

It's a Myth, Women Do Like Spiders

The woman who dreamt of a spider
Awoke to find it inside her
With a scream and a yell
she thought, " oh! what the hell"
Eight hands, oh my! what a provider

Poem Details | by Mike Dailey |
Categories: love,

The Muffin Man

I’d like you to meet Muffin Man
And just so you all understand
His name comes from munchin’
And we ain’t talking luncheon
The women all say he sure can

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: addiction, humorous, men, women,

Ocd Ii

Most compulsives have never confessed
There are thoughts with which we're obsessed
Our inner vision
Views with great precision
The women our eyes have undressed

Poem Details | by Funom Makama |
Categories: emotions, life, woman, women,

Dwindling Feminine Moods

Seeking redemption is seen as the reason for sweet adjectives
prone to behavioral constipation, refusing the laxatives
Sincere actions of love so pregnant
may also give images so poignant
emotions always cloud reasoning from seeing actual motives.

Poem Details | by Jimmy Anderson |
Categories: funny

Dandy Randy

There once was a pris'ner named Randy 
who lived up to his name real Dandy
   The women he knew 
   could never be true 
for they'd rather have candy than Randy 

For Deborah Guzzi's Limerick contest

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fantasy,

Clothing Was Banned

Dreamt last night I was king of a land A paradise filled with gorgeous women and men Sunshine galore Couldn't ask for more Decreed in an edict, all clothing was banned

Poem Details | by David Bose |
Categories: humor, thanksgiving,

Overlooked Tradition

Deprived pilgrim wives ruminated
On ways to get hubbies elated:
After Thanksgiving chow
Ogling men hollered “wow!”
As wet-shirted women they rated.

Poem Details | by Mike Dailey |
Categories: son,

Tom Tom the Piper's Son

Tom Tom was the son of a piper
But here’s where the story gets riper
His dad, so they say
Could lay pipe night and day
Of his women, there wasn’t a griper

Poem Details | by Ethan Plummer |
Categories: angst,


we reach for nothingness
these things we cannot caress
our days never return from their nights
a women never receives her rights
long lives we live in games of chess

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: body, fun, gender,

I Wish -Not For Contest

I wish that I was born a boy I’d be blessed with a dangling toy Women call it a willy That name is so silly It’s an item that brings ladies joy Inspired by contest by Viv Wigley 5/4/18

Poem Details | by Sidney Hall Mad Poet |
Categories: funnyme,

To You Who Dumped Me

To all the women that dumped me over the years
I got something to tell you that will shed tears 
When I go down there
I don’t come up for air
Cause I learned to breathe through me ears