Valentine's Day is a day for love
do you want to be my turtle dove
are you as sweet as candy
here is a glass of brandy
let's go out and watch the stars above
We all need purpose to get up each day
To combat the negatives, send them away
Most days are good
As we hope they would
But surprises are waiting to our dismay
© Jack Ellison 2016
My friend Silent One brightens my days with words uplifting
Crowning him king of jolly old, would be befitting
Has my vote
This talented bloke
One vote per poet and no counterfeiting
How did you become featherless
Angels are always blessed and do bless
Standing too close to the fire
Devil got me in a crossfire
Make sure you always tell God yes
Valentine’s Day I do love you
a day of red~pink but not blue
you are like candy~sweet
much better than red meat
God sent me to you~who knew
Once was a gal who felt so alone
Tornato came up rooted farms home
Landed on wicked witch
Munchkins came out of ditch
Gave dog lollypops instead of bone
Silly Willy with a worm
Had a pocket that would squirm
A Silly Willy was this boy
His pocket worm brought him joy
Don't mistake him for a toy
He is handsome and so coy
Silly Willy's naughty worm
Growing bigger makes girls squirm~
So sticky, I can't help but stutter
With a mouthful ,of fresh peanut butter
Two slices of bread
No Jelly, instead
Some marshmallow Fluffernutter
Suzie sure did love technology
when Botox became her friend
each wrinkle it did mend
now she's a part of biology
< Once came along a super ninja
Dagger Nunchucks Gi sword Wala
Hiding in the sewer
Got covered with manure
Fear not his weapons but hands haha
Tis splendor in the grass these coming summer days
America’s youth can have their privileged adolescent ways
Swimming and playing or simply being laid back
They have little worries without any teacher’s flack
Enrich they youngish self before the inevitable groans of early Mondays
The wild yaks with their hair all a flow,
Were dancing on a Tibetan plateau,
They were just told by the ranger
Their species no longer in danger
As their herd was starting to grow.
I once knew a compassionate man
who couldn't survive on dry land
he was sensitive and kind
helped me find peace of mind
with him a spiritual quest began
Pisces Freak I Am
A Girl On A Mission
There once was a gal who sold china
Tested rockets in her vagina
She sat on one hard though
It made her a martyr
Blasting her & her china to China
6/24/14 Bawdy Limericks II Contest
Written by Gail DeBole on February 17, 2016
Updated on March 15, 2020
Filomena has a quick mental crunch
That gives you a gentle mind punch.
Her intelligent chatter
Is from high-level brain matter,
And will help you climb out of your funk.
Part of the Portrait Collection
The hot sticky cinnamon buns,
gave Santa a troubled case of the runs.
Rudolph can you help,
he said yes with a yelp.
toilet paper needed by the tons.
Bruce put on his favourite crocs
Teamed with yellow fuzzy socks
Legs dreadfully hairy!
He liked to feel airy
In his frock from Pandora's box.
Written for contest: 'Fuzzy socks and crocs'
Blue eyes sparkle, when fun, hits the brain.
Cheeks red and cheery, when it’s insane,
Cute smile turns me pink.
Chuckles, urge a wink
One’s giggles bubbly, as white champagne.
Over lips and through da gums
Hooked minno is going down some
Depth by depth there she sinks
Hooked a dam dogfish oh how that stinks
Pulled anchor and now drowning in rum
Tribute To Fishing
Also Entry For
Sea Tale Limericks
I once met a man from the west
And invited him home as my guest
I told of the cross
He cried, "I am lost!"
Then repented and God gave him rest
Susan Burch came bubble-wrapped
Not ready, but waiting, to be sent back
A reject toy
Till she met a boy
Who unwrapped her with happy claps
Received 2nd place in "Slick Limerick" contest
Na- Nu Na-Nu
greetings earthlings How do you do
I'm captain Zendor from planet Sur Render
shazbot someone crashed into my spaceship's fender
hit me so hard made me go krap-poo
The night was lonely for a friend
But no one was up around then
That was until three
He let out a weep
And the stars came to comfort him.
Limerick: Once an uppity Lady from Freeze
Once an uppity Lady in Freeze
Bought a thousand three-hundred shoe-trees.
She had only two feet
Under her buckling meat.
People ate skunk cabbage soles to grease.
© TWignesan – Paris, 2013
Where is it written, we must all toe the line
Act like clones and worship the same shrine
Those of good cheer
People far and near
Unique as each other, raise your glass of wine