Santa came home with a reindeer
And Mrs Claus said with a sneer
‘Did you have to bring
That horny old thing?’
Rudolph said, ‘Madam, he lives here.’
13 December 2021
For: I Need A Good Laugh: Xmas Limerick Contest
Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich
Santa’s little helper felt poorly sick
Couldn’t deliver presents for Saint Nick
His red nose was gleaming
Blue eyes they were streaming
I hope that Santa will give him some Vick
24th December 2014
The world as we know it will end!
This warning the Mayans did send
But yes there's still time
After reading this rhyme
To honor Black Friday and spend
The trousers he's wearing are Wrangler -
they're great for his job as an angler
(although on a trip
he busted his zip
and showed all those present his dangler).
written 6th December for Sara's Trademark contest
I went to Manhattan cause I was bored,
And it is there, I met a man, sweet Lord;
Oh gosh, he was enchanting,
And soon he had me panting;
And adored, my word, bored has a reward.
December 28, 2015
~ Not For Contest ~
A hardy young fellow called Joe
Went out with no clothes in the snow
Certain bits turned to ice
And then snapped off – not nice
So he now spells his name J-o
30th December 2020
Winter Snow or Ice contest
Sponsor - Tania Kitchin
UPSIDE DOWN SNOWMAN
With a world upside down you discover
New perspectives, I feel a Wild rover
Makes my senses run free
Ah! But now need a pee
So would you mind turning me over
23 December 2017
a wrapper of gifts, so neat,
made every present a treat.
but with paper and bows,
the chaos just grows.
gift wrapping feat hard to beat.
Written by Gail DeBole on December 20, 2011
Updated on March 14, 2020
Miss Gena loves all purple things
No matter what her day might bring.
She loves purple clothes...
Has oodles of those -
And also wears quite fancy rings.
Part of the Portrait Poetry Collection
A New Ford
The lad had wished for a new Ford.
He found one he really adored.
But trouble arose,
With the one he chose,
He found that he could not afford.
A Good Day
The day is going to be good.
This thought is well understood.
No need for worry
Nor running from things furry
That monster is made out of wood.
Once there was a writer by name Jacob Distemper,
fellow is no doubt an excellent writer,extempore.
Children’s jungle story writing!
all time adult poem writing!
bloody, who caresWhat margin this December?
The New Job
He started his job at six,
He was ready to enter the mix.
He lost it as seven,
Not his view of heaven,
So now it is back to the sticks.
High Flying Flag
The flag was perched aright
It was properly lit at night.
It drew many views,
Was daily in the news,
Till it vanished from everyone’s sight.
There once was a climate change doubter
He really was quite a shouter
Until late one night
The high tide just right
Found the beach house he loved under water
24 December 2015
The lady Maggie we remember
Carl met her in December
Small and round.but classy
Old granny her mind's in a blender
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Such a pail
I have a sweet beautiful daughter
Who is always fetching me water
Each day without fail
she has such a pail
When my daughter brings me the water
Limerick Contest December 24, 2015
Sponsored by Jan Allison
the neighbor's grass is always greener
and their house is always cleaner
but just remember
that come December
their family won't be any leaner
There once was a woman that was very fat!
Her diet resolves, I fear,
Broken each and every year.
Until she put something new under her hat –
It was her food; now, what do you think of that?
© December 22, 2010
Was asked if Christmas was good,
Particularly in my neighborhood.
Responded that it was fine,
A pocket full of bills is now mine,
Maybe soon I’ll be singing as I should.
The day looks gloomy and dark.
Not a good day for the park.
So inside I will stay,
No time to play,
Time for me to make my mark.
once an old cabbie named fred
had a nose that glowed bright red
then a call from a bar
put an elf in his car
and since has lead santas sled.
It's December 21st and the days are getting longer
Won't be long before this damn winter is conquered
Had one too many
That's more than plenty
At my ripe old age each one's absolute torture
© Jack Ellison 2016
Poor Rudolph’s desperate to “go”
Resulting in bright yellow snow
He produces some brown
Making Santa Claus frown
And shouting Rudolph, No! No! No!
A Funny Christmas or December Holiday Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin
It's December 19th and still no white stuff
This ole earth has decided enough is enough
We're messing things up
Sitting here on our butts
Soon Canadians will be walking around in the buff
© Jack Ellison 2015