Written by
Bill Baker
Categories:
adventure, car, crazy, fun, race, sports, world,
Gumball Rally
We entered the Gumball Rally
My driver was “Backstreets” Tally
With his crazy fast car
We still couldn’t get far
Bad math, no gas, in Death Valley
Written by
Ralph Taylor
Categories:
funny
The Foreign Diplomat
While campaigning among South American civilians
he got news of the death of three Brazilians
He said he was vexed
then he asked quite perplexed
just how many is a brazillion?
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
fun,
Let's Eat Grandma
Let's eat Grandma..OR let's eat, Grandma
Punctuation saves lives because of a comma
So very small
But stands so tall
The difference of life and death for Mom's Momma
Written by
James Horn
Categories:
allegory, analogy,
Nearly Dearly and Still Sincerely
Nearly Dearly and Still Sincerely
Was almost sudden true love nearly,
Yet still to death did love her dearly,
Then in a grove,
Found treasure trove,
Simply, apparently and so sincerely.
Jim Horn
Written by
Kelly Deschler
Categories:
death, friend, heartbroken, lonely, loss, remember, sad,
Broken Hearted - Jtap
Our friendship here had only just started
then you left me alone, broken hearted
you're gone but not forgotten
now life it seems so rotten
ever since the sad day you departed.
We miss you, Chan :)
This was my sadder take on the "poet who broke my heart" contest theme.
Written by
Gert W. Knop
Categories:
death
The Chap of the Zoo
There was once a chap of a zoological crew
And he got always plenty to do
One day he was prey
Nothing else more to say
So ended the fellow's life in the zoo
Written by
Lim'Rik Flats
Categories:
life,
Nearing the Finish Line
As the might-have-beens get smaller
And the what-the-hecks get taller
Life gets sweeter.
What a beater,
Death looms, but ya wanna stall'er
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
clothes, death, irony, snow,
As I Was Walking In the Snow
When out walking it started to snow
I’d forgotten to take my chapeau
With nothing on my head
Got frozen, soon lay dead
Hypothermia killed me you know!
As I was out walking in the snow contest
Sponsored by Kevin shaw
Dark humour for the contest
2/16/18
Written by
Terry Flood
Categories:
death, humorous,
Waiting For God: Oh
At my breakfast table, a ghost
Has just opened all of my post
What’s his caper
That’s my paper
He’s now got his teeth in my toast
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
silly,
A Recent Discovery
“I'll follow you to the ends of the earth” is a very old line
But recently, they've discovered earth is round, will take a long time
Sounds good on paper
But methinks this caper
Could mean death crossing by dinghy the ocean brine
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
death, health,
No Account People
A pandemic common occurrence:
Losing one's job and health insurance!
The hospital count*
Continues to mount
Morticians wonder who is the dunce?
* People without an income nor
health insurance die at home or in the
street, not in hospitals!
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humor,
Tombstone Inscriptions
One of the best inscriptions, ”I Told You I Was Sick”
Another was “I Was Hoping For A Pyramid” I pooped a brick
Even in death humor lasts
When the die has been cast
“Once I wasn't, then I was, now I ain't again”, that one clicked
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
courage, death, hindi,
Last curtain call
Who knew the exact time and how
The day came for my play's final bow?
The span was compact
I ran for just one act
The encore - now as sacred cow
Written by
Valsa George
Categories:
death, evil, fear,
Banshee
Still, I have a severe fright for banshee
Once I felt, I saw her under a tree
It made my poor brain sizzle
And on bed, made me drizzle.
At night, hearing a shriek, I had to flee.
Written by
Dorian Petersen Potter
Categories:
crazy, death, funny, hilarious, horror, humor, humorous,
Lizzie Borden
(Limerick)
When Lizzie (Borden) saw what she's done
Thought to herself that was so much fun
So she whack them again
And again and again
Then laughed aloud at what she's done!
Dorian Petersen Potter
Aka ladydp2000
Copyright@2014
09.16.2014
Written by
Paul Schneiter
Categories:
humor,
Pollution Solution
Smaltz loved limburger cheese with passion
A fact that turned co-workers’ noses ashen.
The stench made ill all near his breath
Notes on his locker hinted at death.
Smaltz now finds cheddar fragrantly in fashion.
Written by
Vera Duggan
Categories:
age, conflict, courage, death, soldier, war,
Anzac Day
It's Anzac Day today
Or lads were sent away
To fight a war
And what the hell for
Because they had to pay
Written by
Nick Bagnall
Categories:
funeral, funny
Danger - Musicians
There was an old lady from Ireland
Who was frightened to death by a brass band
We watched with dismay
As without delay
They buried her corpse in the band stand
Contest : Slapstick Limerick Contest
5th Place
Written by
Gerard Keogh Jr.
Categories:
death, husband, lost love, satire
Ten Little Indians
You perfected your lies to an art.
You succeeded in breaking my heart.
I shed not one tear,
for the hour is near,
when arsenic will keep us apart.
Written by
Euginia Liapich
Categories:
chocolate, cry, death, grief, happiness, joy, sweet,
Salty and Sweet Limerick
Is it sweet or salty or sour?
Brimming with happiness or always dour?
Prancing, living with gaiety
Or waiting for a guillotine
Now standing forever to scour?
Written by
Gail Debole
Categories:
death, funny,
Fried Pants
Written on May 17, 2012
Updated on April 17, 2017
MrPhiburn, a man who had tried
To live not by the truth, but all lies
No surprise where he went
For him, eternity was spent
Wearing pants that were
Very well fried.
Inspired by: “Liar, liar pants on fire”
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
angst, bereavement, dark, death, funeral, goodbye, grief,
The East End, Ends
It's goodbye to mad Frankie Fraser
The East Ends gangster appraiser
So loyal to the Kray's
To his very last day
One the Sixties ultimate erasures
.
Written by
Justin Time
Categories:
death, life, pain, sad, sorrow, suicide,
Death Is Good
Oh give me a rope
With a noose that is loose
And i'll tie it up on a beam
Then give me a pill
That will give me a thrill
And i'll end it all on a high
Death Death is the way
For life is to sucky to play
So give me a gun
That is loaded for fun
And i'll blow my brains far away.
Written by
Paul Callus
Categories:
dark, humor,
Crocodile Tears
He made her life a living hell.
Her heart immune to the death knell
She breaks down and cries
Tears spring from her eyes
Her acting days now serve her well.
-----------------------------------------
Contest: Open Poetry
Sponsor: Charlotte Puddifoot
11th July, 2015
Placed 7th
Written by
Larry Belt
Categories:
funny
Closet Case
She looks like death on a crippled spider
Hips like an elephant, maybe wider
My friends came over and saw
My ugly mother-in-law
Next time they come they want me to hide her