Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
farm, humorous, sexy,
Mary In the Dairy
A curvaceous lady named Mary
Just loved having sex in the dairy
When smothered with whipped cream
Her beau would lick her clean…
His Calorie intake was scary!!!
14th June 2016
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, pets,
Has Anyone Seen My Pussy - Bawdy Limerick
My Tomcat drives me up the walls
On neighbourhood kitties he calls
Sired more than one kitten
With sex he is smitten
He’s gonna be losing his balls!
A Funny or Bawdy Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin
04/30/23
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous,
Herbie Rides Again
Two autos both tried to have sex.
A pity they both were such wrecks!
With great apprehension,
One lost its suspension.
Old banger sex – oh so complex!
12~21~14
Contest: East Jesus
Sponsor: Roy Jerden
Checked using how many Syllables 8,8,6,6,8
~awarded 3rd place~
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous,
Old Bill - Bawdy Limerick
A sex mad codger named Bill
Swallowed a Viagra pill
His todger did rise -
You should see the size
It sure gave his wife a thrill
17th Feb 2015
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous,
Feeling Hot Hot Hot
He wanted it hot with lots of spice
Not sugary sweet and tasting nice
Oh big boy you're a looker
We had sex on the cooker
I’m so pleased I took your advice
Jan Allison
17th September 2014
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
giggle, humorous, sexy,
Just a Gigolo
A young gigolo called Timothy
Gave sex for an exorbitant fee
But his passionate style
Sure made all ladies smile…
(I’m hoping that he’s got room for me!)
02~13~17
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
betrayal, culture, love, lust, marriage, miracle, relationship,
Love Versus Lust
Some folk are prone to love affairs
For sex rewards the one who dares
They are hot to trot
Because they forgot
Miracles don't happen in pairs!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
body, humorous, me,
Sex Change
Folks know me as ‘poetry Jan’
But soupers I once was a man …
In a very long op
My male bits got the chop
And I altered my name from Stan!
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY SOUPERS!!!!
1st April 2018
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
humor,
Sex Education For Kids
A day at the zoo can be tough
As animals tend to play rough
So mom said, "Whoa!
Its time to go!"
When bull elephants did some stuff
Written by
Mark Koplin
Categories:
humor,
Woodrow Is Lame
Woodrow's wife is the apple of his eye
But there's been no sex lately and here's why
She told him that he's lame
Every night it's the same
There are other options she wants to try
Written by
Frank Mashina
Categories:
family, humor, marriage, social,
Mom’s Photo Secret
Mom said, “No sex before marriage,”
With rules she thought were quite sage.
But in her wedding shot,
I see a twist in the plot—
Was her vow just a part of the age?
Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
funny, giggle,
Iguana
One day with her pet lizard, on a
warm beach lay the sex goddess Shawna.
One who ogled her bust
tried to claim he was just
enthralled by her lovely iguana!
For john freeman's Giggle 2 Contest
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
best friend, blessing, funny, graduation, humor, humorous, men,
What a Subject
Two old codgers were talking about sex
And ones question popped up next
This Viagra have you tried
For me I can't decide
Mm, that's a hard one,what a subject
.
Written by
Robert Candler
Categories:
age, appreciation, beauty, body, fantasy, girlfriend, money,
What a Way To Go
An old man bought her gems and he smiled,
Knowing where they would be in a while...
Sex with a young beauty,
Great legs, boobs and booty.
If he died, he'd be going in style.
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
funny, travel,
The ''Dirty Old Man'' Syndrome Song
When traveling among the throng
His thoughts have too often gone wrong
Alluring effects
Of the opposite sex
Have the devil stomping his prong
Written by
Paul Callus
Categories:
computer, silly,
Computer
I fell in love with a computer
Not for the sex, for it is neuter
It came without name
Oh my! What a shame!
I googled one and up came Luther.
-----------------------
Limerick Contest II
Sponsor: Jan Allison
Placed 1st
20th February, 2016
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
anniversary, appreciation, art, beauty, body, funny, simile,
New Year's Resolution Inspired By John Cameron Swayze
We suggest a v-gina's for sex
And hope the owner expects
To take a licking
And keep on ticking
Over and over like a Timex
Written by
Lindsay Laurie
Categories:
nonsense,
Sex Change
We once knew a fella named Abel,
Who loved to jump razor wire cable,
One day he made a slip;
Heard a howl and a rip...
So now we address him as Mabel.
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous,
Light and Hope Limerick
Jim flicked off the bedroom wall LIGHT
With HOPE of a wild sex filled night
But the tone of his wife
Made him fear for his life
Guess she’s keeping her legs shut tight
L & H Contest – Sponsor Catie Lindsey
05~21~15
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
passion,
Sex Is the Question
Sex is not the answer..sex is the question
“Yes” is the answer..but it's only a suggestion
The choice is yours
Your illnesses it cures
The one thing that tweaks your tweaker without exception
Written by
Barbara Gorelick
Categories:
funny
Avoiding the Irs
There once was a woman named Roxanne
Who had sex with many a fine man
She charged a big fee
And made them agree
To never disclose the business she ran
For Deb's contest...
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, nature, woman,
The Naked Truth -Bawdy Limerick
There once was a woman called Callie
Who loved having sex in the valley
Out in the fresh air
Her flesh she would bare
‘Twas better than in the back alley
03~30~17
Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
parody,
Worst or Worstest Limrick Evah
Heres a rilly lame limrick for ya-
Write hear I'll change the beet!
also I ain't bin usin end rime
An this old line is whey to long for a forth line.
Kin ya gess how many words was spellt rong?
hummm, is that fiv or sex lines I needs?
Written by
Paul Schneiter
Categories:
humor,
Sex Change
There was a gigolo who swallowed a bee
It pained him from stomach to knee.
But with a shout and curse
He saw things get worse.
It buzzed him from a he to a she.
Written by
Jack Horne
Categories:
science fiction,
My Satanic Phone
I once had a satanic phone,
When anyone called, it would groan.
It made up a lie,
Told my girlfriend Di:
‘He’s out…giving the dog a bone.’ *
*Slang for sex