Limerick Poems About Sex | Sex Limerick Poems
Written by Jan Allison
Categories: farm, humorous, sexy,

Mary In the Dairy

A curvaceous lady named Mary Just loved having sex in the dairy When smothered with whipped cream Her beau would lick her clean… His Calorie intake was scary!!! 14th June 2016


Written by Jan Allison
Categories: humorous, pets,

Has Anyone Seen My Pussy - Bawdy Limerick

My Tomcat drives me up the walls On neighbourhood kitties he calls Sired more than one kitten With sex he is smitten He’s gonna be losing his balls! A Funny or Bawdy Limerick Poetry Contest Sponsored by Tania Kitchin 04/30/23



Written by Jan Allison
Categories: humorous,

Herbie Rides Again

Two autos both tried to have sex. A pity they both were such wrecks! With great apprehension, One lost its suspension. Old banger sex – oh so complex! 12~21~14 Contest: East Jesus Sponsor: Roy Jerden Checked using how many Syllables 8,8,6,6,8 ~awarded 3rd place~


Written by Jan Allison
Categories: humorous,

Old Bill - Bawdy Limerick

A sex mad codger named Bill Swallowed a Viagra pill His todger did rise - You should see the size It sure gave his wife a thrill 17th Feb 2015


Written by Jan Allison
Categories: humorous,

Feeling Hot Hot Hot

He wanted it hot with lots of spice 
Not sugary sweet and tasting nice 
Oh big boy you're a looker  
We had sex on the cooker
I’m so pleased I took your advice

Jan Allison
17th September 2014



Written by Jan Allison
Categories: giggle, humorous, sexy,

Just a Gigolo

A young gigolo called Timothy Gave sex for an exorbitant fee But his passionate style Sure made all ladies smile… (I’m hoping that he’s got room for me!) 02~13~17


Written by Rico Leffanta
Categories: betrayal, culture, love, lust, marriage, miracle, relationship,

Love Versus Lust

Some folk are prone to love affairs
For sex rewards the one who dares
They are hot to trot
Because they forgot
Miracles don't happen in pairs!


Written by Jan Allison
Categories: body, humorous, me,

Sex Change

Folks know me as ‘poetry Jan’ But soupers I once was a man … In a very long op My male bits got the chop And I altered my name from Stan! HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY SOUPERS!!!! 1st April 2018


Written by Rico Leffanta
Categories: humor,

Sex Education For Kids

A day at the zoo can be tough
As animals tend to play rough
So mom said, "Whoa!
Its time to go!"
When bull elephants did some stuff


Written by Mark Koplin
Categories: humor,

Woodrow Is Lame

Woodrow's wife is the apple of his eye
But there's been no sex lately and here's why
She told him that he's lame
Every night it's the same
There are other options she wants to try


Written by Frank Mashina
Categories: family, humor, marriage, social,

Mom’s Photo Secret

Mom said, “No sex before marriage,”
With rules she thought were quite sage.
But in her wedding shot,
I see a twist in the plot—
Was her vow just a part of the age?


Written by Andrea Dietrich
Categories: funny, giggle,

Iguana

One day with her pet lizard, on a
warm beach lay the sex goddess Shawna.
One who ogled her bust
tried to claim he was just
enthralled by her lovely iguana!

For john freeman's Giggle 2 Contest


Written by James Fraser
Categories: best friend, blessing, funny, graduation, humor, humorous, men,

What a Subject

Two old codgers were talking about sex And ones question popped up next This Viagra have you tried For me I can't decide Mm, that's a hard one,what a subject
.


Written by Robert Candler
Categories: age, appreciation, beauty, body, fantasy, girlfriend, money,

What a Way To Go

An old man bought her gems and he smiled,
Knowing where they would be in a while...
Sex with a young beauty,
Great legs, boobs and booty.
If he died, he'd be going in style.


Written by Duke Beaufort
Categories: funny, travel,

The ''Dirty Old Man'' Syndrome Song

When traveling among the throng
His thoughts have too often gone wrong
Alluring effects
Of the opposite sex
Have the devil stomping his prong


Written by Paul Callus
Categories: computer, silly,

Computer

I fell in love with a computer
Not for the sex, for it is neuter
It came without name
Oh my! What a shame!
I googled one and up came Luther.


-----------------------
Limerick Contest II
Sponsor: Jan Allison
Placed 1st
20th February, 2016


Written by Duke Beaufort
Categories: anniversary, appreciation, art, beauty, body, funny, simile,

New Year's Resolution Inspired By John Cameron Swayze

We suggest a v-gina's for sex
And hope the owner expects
To take a licking
And keep on ticking
Over and over like a Timex


Written by Lindsay Laurie
Categories: nonsense,

Sex Change

We once knew a fella named Abel,
Who loved to jump razor wire cable,
One day he made a slip;
Heard a howl and a rip...
So now we address him as Mabel.


Written by Jan Allison
Categories: humorous,

Light and Hope Limerick

Jim flicked off the bedroom wall LIGHT With HOPE of a wild sex filled night But the tone of his wife Made him fear for his life Guess she’s keeping her legs shut tight L & H Contest – Sponsor Catie Lindsey 05~21~15


Written by Jack Ellison
Categories: passion,

Sex Is the Question

Sex is not the answer..sex is the question “Yes” is the answer..but it's only a suggestion The choice is yours Your illnesses it cures The one thing that tweaks your tweaker without exception


Written by Barbara Gorelick
Categories: funny

Avoiding the Irs

There once was a woman  named Roxanne
Who had sex with many a fine man
She charged a big fee
And made them agree
To never disclose the business she ran


For Deb's contest...


Written by Jan Allison
Categories: humorous, nature, woman,

The Naked Truth -Bawdy Limerick

There once was a woman called Callie Who loved having sex in the valley Out in the fresh air Her flesh she would bare ‘Twas better than in the back alley 03~30~17


Written by Andrea Dietrich
Categories: parody,

Worst or Worstest Limrick Evah

Heres a rilly lame limrick for ya-
Write hear I'll change the beet!
also I ain't bin usin end rime
An this old line is whey to long for a forth line.
Kin ya gess how many words was spellt rong?
hummm, is that fiv or sex lines I needs?


Written by Paul Schneiter
Categories: humor,

Sex Change

There was a gigolo who swallowed a bee
It pained him from stomach to knee.
But with a shout and curse
He saw things get worse.
It buzzed him from a he to a she.


Written by Jan Allison
Categories: humorous, sexy,

She Loves It Outdoors

A flighty young lady from Torbay Got seen having sex in a doorway She blushed bright scarlet red Said I like it in bed But this is just part of our foreplay! 12th April 2016