This handsome guy who'd like to suck.
Had found a lady for snack
So beautiful and hot,
He gave her a shot.
Suck her blood, AIDS virus attacked.
There once was a man that was lackluster
Who's life was one giant cluster
Writes a suicide note
He slits his throat
Blank stares are all his family can muster
Fast-handed Harry was a renowned pick-pocket
He could grab a wallet with the speed of a rocket.
One day while doing some picking
A suicide bomber’s bomb was ticking.
Where once was Harry there’s now a socket.
McNeer couldn’t take it no mo’
By rope-in-tree he would go
- Nerve’s gone I fear
- It’s been near a year
(He’s waitin’ for the saplin’ to grow!)
Oh give me a rope
With a noose that is loose
And i'll tie it up on a beam
Then give me a pill
That will give me a thrill
And i'll end it all on a high
Death Death is the way
For life is to sucky to play
So give me a gun
That is loaded for fun
And i'll blow my brains far away.
Lightning strikes down cold pale thighs
rivers flow from broken blue eyes
there is nothing to do
but turn orange to blue
all beautiful things must die
Suicide bombers, these cowards blow me away
To forfeit one's life for a belief that someday
Their soul will be saved
Their thinking's depraved
Seems the world is sinking into total decay
Words we write sometimes do matter:
"Each candidate's like a mad hatter"
So please Trump and Hill
Take a suicide pill
We dislike the former and latter!
Politician in the making
He had my abdomen aching
Suicide he would not commit
I’d kill myself, he admit
No vote from me, that goes without saying
*True story, a politician’s response,
To the question, would you ever commit suicide?*
Contest: Slapstick Limerick
Ever thought of jumping off a big tall building
Not me, I'm a chicken when comes to self killing
It ain't that bad
Life's just a fad
The alternative doesn't appeal, it's kinda chilling
Have any of you peeps heard of the latest craze
Stuffing pepper up your nose till your mind's ablaze
You think of suicide
With a friend by your side
Unless the friend objects, then it's homicide portrayed
Strong passions and good expressions with no backside
slowing the limelight, brings in assisted suicide
the huge footprints they track
away from a fall they pack
pool of dears, cautioned by personal pesticide.
If you’re poor and have spent your last ducat,
you might end it by kicking the bucket.
But bereft of all hope,
should you hang from a rope?
I say buckets and ropes can go suck it.
Sad Soul Committed Suicide
Up into the sky, he went for a ride;
His sad soul had committed suicide;
Did loop di loop;
And barrel hoop;
Crashed plane and all alone he died.
In the world of Jack, things are strange indeed
Some outrageous thoughts are waiting to be freed
No control I have
Just expel lotsa gas
When attempting to be nice, fail totally, a bad seed
Has there ever been a prez so crazy unpopular
Are you serious, since time zero, most unpopular by far
Just stating facts
Can't argue that
The world's still here in spite of behavior bizarre
Ed’s suicide attempts have to harden.
So Ed said to his wife “beg your pardon,
can you give me a cup
to fill up with ‘roundup”.
“Just don’t have your last pee on my garden!”
Time for me to die but can't find the time
Thought about suicide but it's still a crime
It's against the law
Feeling so distraught
There must be a word that “rhymes” with time
Got a text message from my wife, our cat just committed suicide
Very impersonal don't you think, used to be a phone call making us cry
What have we become
With a finger up our bum
People are too busy for a phone call to hear our dear cat died
A very sexy lady once took me aside
Patted me on my enormous backside
Said, lose some pounds
And we'll go a few rounds
But the lump in my jumper committed suicide
Movies these days are filled with violence
Perhaps one reason for this rash of mindlessness
Pushes one over the edge
When already on the ledge
Perhaps one reason for these mass killings we all dread
It certainly isn't beyond the realm of possibility
That one day we'll become robots, it's more a probability
We'll have an on/off switch
And a program which
Will provide us with our happy zone's approximate vicinity
Imagine if all the snow was black
Suicide rates would skyrocket, sure of that
Snowmen would be scary
Even scary evil-looking fairies
Feeling a bit ominous, a bright smile I lack
Is it age that's affecting my hearing
Loud noises drive me up to the ceiling
They seem magnified
Or one of those things, no hard feelings
Suicide Never Tried and Denied
There is always something about suicide;
And to either do or commit have denied,
Now that I remember never ever tried.