I went to the doctor one day in June
I just wanted to keep my heart in tune
He had me take off my clothes
Then told me to touch my toes
And then he caused me to howl at the moon
Just what can astrology gain us?
The confusion surely must pain us.
Just how are you behooved--
Not to mention improved--
By knowing the moon's in Ur-anus?
(Hey, Moonbee! Wait up!...)
You're visiting friends on Titan I hear?
My starship's broke down (In the shop I fear)
Wow...SATURN'S a long FLIGHT
Hitch a ride? Well ALRIGHT!
Could you drop me off at the moon, my dear?
I wish that I was a baboon
to make all the lady apes swoon.
On my chest I would pound.
Then I’d strut all around,
drop my pants, and show them my moon.
For Viv Wigley's "I wish I was" Poetry Contest
My Moon is in Taurus, so though
I’m Virgo Sun, you ought to know
There’s a whole lot of soul
In a hot virgin bull;
It’s a combo magnifico!
For P.D.'s "Zodiac Race"
two small chimps sitting on a limb
can’t tell which is the her or him
pretending to fight
they do it all night
starting soon as the lights go dim
For John's Limerick contest
Oct 5 2011
The Sailors Itch
Beneath a bright Valentine’s Moon
He gave her the gift much too soon
now they’re itchin’ and scratchin’
with off spring a-hatchin’
Those crabs he brought home from Rangoon
The man in the moon crooned such a tune
That the cow jumped over and mooned
But a methane gas
The bovine did pass
The man struck a match and kaboom!
When the hail finally came a poundin
and the balls of ice were a moundin'
I was making love in my room
by the light of the evening moon
but my wife screamed "no stop, it's to soon!"
We've conquered the "Moon", says my source!
Young folks, will soon go there, in force!
What I'd like to know,
is when Honeymooners go,
will they call "what they do", Outercourse?
Contest: Show me the funny - Part 2
Cassiopeia reclined on her cosmic beach,
Longing for Orion so out of reach.
He was showing off to the stars,
As he spiked the Moon over Mars,
Wondering what next Venus would teach.
He sits in wonder of the night
the moon, the stars, all shining bright
a wish he makes
her hand he takes
shortly, his dreams will be in sight
Fly me to the moon
Play us the bedroom tunes
The nod-nod head of lovers’ hoots
Let’s twirl this tango as David in jolly mood
And coil in celestial honeymoon cocoon.
Staring at the shy pale moon*
I came to realize rather soon
That without you on my side
My sorrow wasn’t able to hide
That bright night of month June!
© Demetrios Trifiatis
27 MARCH 2014
*Inspired by a Limerick written
by Mystic Rose!
Good morning, good morning, it's a brand new day
It's raining big buckets but screw it I say
My heart is bursting
Though the naughties are lurking
At the first opportunity, at the moon I will bay
© Jack Ellison 2015
Pecan, pumpkin, apple or key lime;
I save room for dessert every time.
To really make me swoon,
and bark out at the moon
Salted caramel cheesecake is sublime!
There once was a white cat I knew
Who had feathers; a ghost cat who flew
Through the shimmering streams
Of the moon’s silver beams
Leaving slain doves in the dew
They call me the Pondering Poet
if there's love to be found, I'll show it
with euphony divine
under boughs I will shine
although once in a blue moon, I'll blow it...
Was that a man in the moon
Riding over the dune
Or is it a woman
Perhaps built like a man
Singing a lonely tune
This is for men, is there anything more painful
Than being hit 'tween the legs, no way to be graceful
You clutch at your groin
Animals do join
Baying at the moon reverting to their instincts prenatal
© Jack Ellison 2016
Oh I do so love Debussy
And his mystical tides of the sea
And I swoon with the moon
At the sweet Clair de Lune
As its melody so gently sweeps over me.
I love to write a word in your praise.
My weakness is, I like your image,
Blue eyes as wide as an open sky,
As deep as ocean never speaks lie,
Tide roars when moon disturbs craze.
It hurts if canker cuts a rose
Or the moon behind cloud's kerchief goes'
We are that sensitive.
Therefore o God why give
Any pretty girl a runny nose?
The Man With Two Heads
There once was a man with two heads
Of letters and science well read
By the light of the moon
He could make juries swoon
Spinning truth so fast their ears bled!
For Carolyn Devonshire's contest: Lawyer Limericks