The teacher said, "Listen to this,"
"Said backward, your name has a twist!"
One kid caught her eye
She said, "Simon you try!"
In a moment he said, "No mis!"
My teacher, she once gave me a C
The next cycle...she gave me a D
I was young with no class
When I pinched her fine …
But that cycle...she gave me a B
A new teacher whose discipline lacked,
From his pupils was daily attacked.
So he taped to each chair
A sharp tack in despair
And they soon got the point - that's a fact!
'Limericks poetry competition' : Sponsored by: Joseph May
There was a teacher from Crete
Whose foot size was quite petite.
Well students did plot
And to school they brought,
Some shoes for oversized feet.
Sending out exercises and instructions so sound
discipline and good guidance steadily going round
in times never to imagine
words linked back to origin
ensuring from grass root, Life's graceful path has been found.
The story of school starting is here
It began with a bell and a cheer
Bob brought a talking chicken
My, my, what the sickens
Harridan Teacher silenced them with fear
Once there was a teacher by name Jenish Anthony "the Holy"
represented success by the simple equation “E=C2” coolly
“E” success in any endeavor of value
“C” uncompromising pursuit of a value
Bloody this hypothesis of Jenish"the great teacher" is no folly!
There was a bad gym teacher of Gott
Whose belly was becoming a pot.
He avoided exercising
Which wasn't surprising
Because he didn't give a squat.
A school teacher named Miss Shaw
Though well-endowed wore no bra.
Things slipped and jiggled
Bounced and wiggled
Pupils are still awed by what they saw.
My math teacher's fav'rite cat
Likes to wear a baseball hat.
When the class stares it down
It will hiss with a frown,
Yankees man are where it's at.
A game that my wife and I played
To teacher I would be an aide
My best I applied
To pass test I tried
And at breakfast I’d wait for grade
There once was a teacher from Trenton
who tried, but he couldn't keep his belt on,
His pants they would fall
on his knees he would crawl,
And the children, they all paid attention.
"Do you know 'bout birds and the bees?"
One day my son asked suddenly,
"Just ask your teacher,
she would know better"
"No Dad she is yet to marry!"
Shania my love, you gorgeous creature
Sure like to explore all your amazing features
It would blow my mind
Snuggling up, I'd go blind
I'd be your pupil and you'd be my teacher
© Jack Ellison 2015
My tribute to the gorgeous and talented Shania Twain!!!
There was once an alien called Bob
Who had a very rubbish job
He was a teacher
And also a preacher
And he loved breaking door knobs!
To a teacher of music I go
To learn clarinet for a show
Despite some regressions
And twenty five lessons
I don't know which end I should blow.
I recall your wife was brunette
And every male teacher's pet
I never knew why
She acted so shy
When she always left their lap wet?
The new teacher said, "Class listen to me,"
"What do you think the best letter must be?"
One said with force,
"The G of course!"
She asked, "Angus, why do you think it's the G?"
A teacher with an always late student
Looked for ways to influence improvement
She tried best she could
But it did little good
Now the student remains mostly truant
The children knew right from the start
Their teacher was born really smart
So from the get-go
They wanted to know,
"What's colder than Donald Trump's heart?"
There was once a bad teacher at school.
She called us mean names, and was so cruel.
We wrote up a clear petition.
Getting her out, was our mission.
She was led out of town on a mule.
Received Great Teacher
Received great teacher from my Lord;
Have written I love her on blackboard;
Sure so pretty;
Will be witty,
And seeing her always do look toward.
Your Prudent Student
My teacher said it is her belief,
the bean is a protein full chief,
then she pointed at me,
and asked ‘what is a pea?’
I replied, ‘it’s a mighty relief.’
A Great Teacher
God gave a great teacher to suffice,
And after I received further advice,
Together another poem shall splice.
She was dressed as his old school mistress
In his fantasies he called her miss
He cuddled her tight
Until his love bite
Caused a breeze as his girlfriend went hissssssssssss