In winter when snow softly falls
Sid snowman clutches his snow balls
He says I feel chilly
There’s frost on my willy
I hope it melts when nature calls!
Winter Snow Or Ice Limerick Contest Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Tania kitchin
My divine manual and life prospectus is the Bible
my ways, a beautiful mirror sparkling like clean Marble
falsehood can’t colour my teeth
Jesus Christ is not a myth
the hope of eternal life, a conviction, not a gamble.
Santa’s little helper felt poorly sick
Couldn’t deliver presents for Saint Nick
His red nose was gleaming
Blue eyes they were streaming
I hope that Santa will give him some Vick
24th December 2014
We all need purpose to get up each day
To combat the negatives, send them away
Most days are good
As we hope they would
But surprises are waiting to our dismay
© Jack Ellison 2016
This limerick could be quite a chiller;
as a movie would be a nice thriller.
Who set fire to the wheat?
Leaving stubble and heat -
I hope they catch the cereal killer.
Dear dear Mo, my capitol friend
A Minister of Joy each morning she sends
An Ottawa leader of happiness
We citizens are blessed
Hope she's re-elected and her term doesn't end
When all's said and done, there's more to be done and said
Like how's our dear Mary, hope her fungus hasn't spread
And what about poor Thelma
With her deviated antenna
And poor Nikita, fresh radishes growing on her head
The bigger the hole, the bigger the fish,
The better the hope, the better the wish,
That's not a fish, that's a whale,
Much too big a fish to scale,
But one thing for sure, get a bigger dish.
Don't know if you've noticed but life is like a baseball game
You start out as a rookie, then get through the middle frames
You start to notice the signs
It's the bottom of the ninth
Seems like a quick game but hope for extra innings remains
I hope you have angels
watching over you
Because, the way
you live your life is'
A CRIME !
Been writing Limericks in the last while
In my own inimitable quite naughty style
Hope I get by those censors
Nothing gained, nothing ventured
Might be singing “in a while crocodile”
© Jack Ellison 2013
Jim flicked off the bedroom wall LIGHT
With HOPE of a wild sex filled night
But the tone of his wife
Made him fear for his life
Guess she’s keeping her legs shut tight
L & H Contest – Sponsor Catie Lindsey
So you think you’re going to hole me
Teed off well and on the green rolled me
Looked like hole in one
Then all hope was gone
When old albatross swooped and stole me
Have you tried suppressing a big fart -
Clenching your buttocks is a fine art
You hope your windy gas
Doesn’t shoot out your ass
and from the room you quickly depart
7th March 2015
Inspired by BL Devnath’s Please don’t laugh poem
The Easter egg hunt was a blast,
With everyone running quite fast
Confetti in our hair
Not to mention underwear
Let's hope that dye isn't cast.
My little one is going to school
The joy on his face and mine is so cool
His first day is monday
I hope he will be okay
While I'm at home acting a fool
For Halloween I want to be a wicked witch
With nothing but evil sewed in every stitch
Give the kids lots of candy how awesome
Then I'll scare the pants right off them
And just hope I don't wake up in a ditch
FOR HALLOWEEN COSTUME CONTEST
Going to school is so much fun
But can't wait until homework is done!
For every class hope for an "A"
And on the honor roll: Hip-hip-hooray!
In the game of life I can say I've won!
There once was this lady I was desiring
Upon meeting she became so damn tiring
She kept me up all night
And fatigued I took fright
I hope that it was blanks I was firing
Mothers are the best
They are like a test
They are very loving
They like a flower budding
The treat us like a fest.
There once was a sneeze named “Ker-chew”
His cousin next door was named “Flu”
He found "cold" in the hallway,
And threw up on the walkway,
I do hope he doesn’t find you!
~written for Gwendolyn's challenge~
Suzie sure did love technology
when Botox became her friend
each wrinkle it did mend
now she's a part of biology
First he slinks off the field with a miss,
so forlorn, then the chance to do this.
Will we boo him to shame?
Will we drink to his name?
The ball is downThe kick is up! The kick is...
There once was a man from Rome
who's head was shinny like chrome
gave the world spiritual hope
was given the title of Pope
now he wears a hat like that of a gnome
Pen flies when out of sight,
Boy, I hope that I'm right.
No award for me,
What a shame that'd be,
At least I gave it all my might.