They said how she ate was absurd;
A "Fatso", they called her she heard,
And ever since then
That poor, baby wren
Just pecked at her food like a bird.
Contest: Any Animal or Creature Limerick
To the diner Mac went for a meal
Where he ordered two helpings of veal.
All he had was one dime
Could not pay! What a crime!
Washing-up was the fairest MacDeal
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Sponsor: Cecelia Hopkins-Drewer
© 2nd June 2017
I’m trying a new ‘see food’ diet
I’d recommend that you all try it
Any food will do
Nothing’s bad for you..
It's no wonder my trousers don’t fit!
Written 18th February
Posted on 23rd February
Today it is Thanksgiving Day
For all dead turkey’s I do pray
That you had a good life
Now you’re carved with a knife
Served on a plate as the entrée
Have a great Thanksgiving folks!
26th November 2015
He phoned the village bakery
And ordered a delivery
Loads and loads of tasty pies
Ate them all but at a price
He spent the night in misery.
Contest: Plentitude of Pies
Sponsor: Sheri Fresonke Harper
My sister likes to doodle
I thought she drew a noodle
She gave me a glare
And tugged at my hair
And told me t'was a poodle.
Block of Neapolitan Ice Cream;
to my diet, a scream in a dream
and vanilla; very
delicious Then I bust out a seam.
Waking up for school was hard enough,
still half asleep not ready for the bus,
breakfast on the dot,
snap, crackle and pop,
noisy Rice Krispy's helping us wake up.
When at home its often fast food I crave,
might even be leftovers that I saved,
always in a race,
open and shut case,
thank God for my nuke everything microwave!
When I was a teen, I would munch
My way through the whole Sunday brunch.
I'd destroy that buffet,
Then as we walked away,
I would ask my poor mother, "When's lunch?"
At picnics Sue's legs are akimbo
No panties, but Sue ain't no bimbo
It keeps pesky flies
Landing on our pies
Our days out are never in limbo!
Your best New Limerick Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin
Jan's cucumber* got quite a spin
From a lady who did not like men
It worked like a charm
And caused her no harm
But got dumped in the rubbish bin
With Baseball hotdogs on the run
Caught up in, excitement and fun
Watch where you go
Before you know
You might slip and fall on your bun!
Poor old Farmer McGillicuddy
He’s somewhat of a fuddy-duddy
He plows with an ox
All progress he blocks
No wonder his corn tastes so cruddy
There is my sweet Aunt Mabel
sitting across the table
ever since her divorce
she eats like a horse
so we put her up in a stable
In my soup I could have sworn I saw a shark.
Swimming in roux that was rather dark.
But to my relief,
the fin a bay leaf.
Now I wear glasses before each meal I start.
Bill’s cucumbers grew long and hard
Nuns queued up for them in his yard
‘Twas their weekly treat…
They were not to eat
I’ll finish here… or I’ll get barred!
My elderly auntie named Dot
her memory’s going to pot
For she served me raw food
and was totally nude
A dinner I’ve never forgot
Food To Feed Separate from Weed
Morning Has Broken and so has each seed;
Become food to feed separate from weed,
Which was required that they surely need.
My main goal is to motivate others
to write poetry..
I could not see anything wrong
With getting a tan in a thong
But it made Jan ruffle
when it failed to muffle
Spicy chili con carne pong
Split my banana and stuff it with cream
top with tantalizing treats to extreme
nuts and silky sweetened balls
gooey toppings form seawalls
nothing left out of a lover's wet dream
There was a man named Fred
Who liked eating baked beans in bed
One day when he farted
He and his wife parted
'Well it's quicker than divorce' Said Fred.
Oh, vermicelli, rigatoni!
Lost on a sea of minestrone
The sea beneath my feet,
And nothing else to eat,
I live on cheese and macaroni.
Ice cream is a delicious delight,
I eat it most every night.
That's probably why,
My weight is so high,
But I won't stop eating one bite.
I went on vacation to Hell,
The hotel was hot, with a smell,
And The Devil was rude,
When I toyed with my food:
He cooked all the dinners as well.
For Carolyn’s Vacation contest