Think it's about time to call it a day
Brain doesn't function in the same old way
Effect of my seizures
Good wishes my readers
It's been a magical ten years, so farewell I say
Joined The Soup back in two thousand twelve
My happiest five years, it's where good friends dwell
Some come and go
Sure miss them so
Sometimes return coz they find it a hard farewell
My dabble in limericks is finally done
I'm sorry to say that this is the last one
The master is back
His name is sir Jack
So kick off your shoes we're about to have fun
There was a young man we'll call Mac,
who loved to suck on a tic tac.
But one choked him today.
What a price he did pay
and he'll never, ever be back.
We once knew a girl named Sloot
Who liked to travel by chute.
Dropping into a town
She would leave with a frown,
Due to the dreadful commute.
Nearing the end here, don't think it'll be long
My time is short may have sung my last song
Met some very sweet peeps
Love you guys heaps
Overstayed my welcome soon be moseying on
A modicum of triumph.
A moment of no regret.
Is followed in sadness,
And bitter loose ends.
When you don't know whats wrong or whats right.
Why do we even fight?
The weight of the world is oppressing and vile
Its takes a great deal just to make me smile
The King lashed his horse with the rein
And galloped up front in the rain
When he lifted his sword
It was, 'Farewell my Lord'
For that was the end of his reign
There was a lady named Cass
Who on her deathbed passed gas
Respecting the dead
All stayed close to the bed
Hoping it would be her last
There was a man named Donald Trump
Votes counted - he went into a slump
Election swore he’d lost
No matter what it cost
Afterall, Biden wasn’t such a chump
Out On A Lim Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Joseph May
November 19, 2020
John John is my buddy, special as hell
And to think I was considering saying farewell
He never lets me down
Shoos away my frowns
A special buddy for sure, unparalleled
A virus named Joe and his dad
Were riding on back of a lad
When they split into two
And fell into his shoe,
Farewell son a charcoal footpad.
Arizona is calling John John, time to mount your horse
Sure your bags are already packed, no need to be forced
Do you know that many
Are wallowing in envy
If you take me along, I'll worship you on all fours
Got some amazing news, the best news of all
Burn 150 cals an hour smashing your head on a wall
But not recommended
If survival is intended
Could wind up attracting relatives for a final farewell
There once was a bad egg named Drew
Who had a good friend he knew
He said, “I can’t tell,
If I’m going right to hell”
“But if I am, will you visit me too?”
There was a poet whose limericks sucked
He tried to be funny, but no one nyukked
At first he was sad
But then he got mad
This is his last limerick --- just your luck!
~ Mrand MrsObsolete ~
A picker of pockets used to get cash
Now just credit cards, and never a stash
Shed a tear for old pickers
They're dying off quicker
Than bearded ladies without a moustache
There once was an unusual tuna
Charlie dreamed of sailing to the luna
Bought a huge water balloon
But along came a typhoon
Farewell Charlie, wannabe Kahuna
If only, perhaps, I could wish it away
Ship it to nowhere, just a stowaway stray
No time for farewell
Too late, gotta bail
And please don’t return on a sunshiny day
Did you know? Did you see? Did you hear?
Did you think? Did you hope? Did you sneer?
For today is the day
that Bluebeard goes away!
Bid adieu to his mountainous rear!
Farewell to that playboy named Hugh,
Whose magazine enterprise grew—
He published gloss shots
Of naked sexpots,
Though men read the articles through.
My weight is still plummeting, I'm happy as hell
Wasting away, to my fatness I say farewell
But it's the chance I take
For goodness sake
Young fillies will be bugging me for a night at my motel
Searching for a buried treasure in my dresser
Looking for undies that ain't fresh, just fresher
Chances of fresh
No hope, my guess
It's overrated, but keep small animals at bay, however
There once was a cute little girl named Sue
Smack dab down her forehead, a curlicue
She so much wanted straight hair
She planted an iron there
Now, instead of hair, she's got barbeque
Things that used to be easy as pie
Are now a struggle, even my shoes to tie
Am I nearing the end
Maybe flowers you should send
But still got some limericks before saying goodbye