My grandmother lost her glass eye
She sneezed when she breathed in a fly
As her eyeball flew by
She exclaimed my oh my
My glass eye has learned how to fly
to the lake yes to the lake
fish to fry and fish to bake
this has been moms cry
birthdays now its rye
if just once she'd bring a cake.
There's a grandma who just wears Just My Size
Her teenybopper cloths catches shock eyes
As she walks in sassy heels.
In hot pink spots wear she reels
She's so cute, whispers when she exercise.
Grandma Gertie knocked back more than a few
When, of a sudden, she heard herself 'moo' --
I can hold my liquor!
She burped, and then snickered --
She 'neighed' ~ Off to the factory for glue
"How old are you Granny?", her grandson wants to know
Said with a yet to be learned, decorum to show
She said, "Thirty and holding!",
With a smile and not scolding
He asked, "How old would you be then, if you let go?"
Granny has found a new trend
With unseen waves to contend
Ironing board skurfing
And living room surfing
Granny's gone off the deep end!
Sponsor: Lisa YY
Pa could not bend over to the stove like he should
The wood is too heavy for Ma is understood
To ease this plight
And make it right
Mama bent over after Papa got wood!
My grandma once de-skunked a skunk
for reasons I still have not thunk
she knew what to do
without a pee yew
and never the stale air did stunk
The thought of life on another planet
Held no appeal for Grandma Janet
But the COVID lockdown
Made Grandma fret and frown
Masks banned there? ~ I think I can stand it
Once was a celeb’s old Granny:
She bragged ‘bout her little sonny.
He asked her to stop:
It’s better to hop,
Than to make yourself a ninny
as if she knew kids were not around,
she got up the board, without a sound
statuesque, she surfs with ease,
self-taught hun, she aims to please,
her younger self, would've won a crowd
14 July 2022
Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Lisa YY
99779 syllable count
Opening the nesting doll was an ache
Overturning it and began to shake
Was all full of dirt
Got all over my shirt
It was the urn of grandma, my mistake