Written by
Timothy Brumley
Categories:
family, funny, mother
A Clean Hacienda
There once was a woman named Linda
Who would keep a clean hacienda
Till four children she bore
And then bore she one more...
She now has a different agenda!
Timothy IBrumley
Written by
Sean Kelly
Categories:
funny, parody,
Retaliatory Repersussions
A young fertile mother begat
Triplets , called Tim , Tom and Tat
Great fun at breeding
Confusion at feeding
When she found there was no tit~for~tat.
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous,
Keep It In the Family
In flagranti with an unknown lover
Sprang apart from underneath the cover
How his wife she did shout
Now his secret was out -
His hidden lover was her own mother!
4th March 2015
Written by
Ralph Taylor
Categories:
funny
Zoo Fright
At the Zoo we were forced to withdraw
after we saw the beast that we saw
We got such a fright
But found out later that night
It was only Larrys Mother-in-law!
Enter in Zany Zoo if it qualifies.
Written by
John Watt
Categories:
boy, food, mother, mother son, teenage,
O Teenage Metabolism, Where Art Thou
When I was a teen, I would munch
My way through the whole Sunday brunch.
I'd destroy that buffet,
Then as we walked away,
I would ask my poor mother, "When's lunch?"
Written by
Terry Flood
Categories:
confusion, identity,
Identity Crisis
Identical twins, me and my brother
Got the same birthday, got the same mother
Don’t know if I’m he
Don’t know if he’s me
But I do know I’m one or the other
Written by
Susan Gentry
Categories:
brother, mother, old, technology,
Billies Brothers
Hill, By and Blow - the three Billies brothers
Were constantly fighting each other
Hill was the oldest
Blow was the boldest
By was the baby by another mother
May 5, 2018
Hillbillies, Bybillies and Blowbillies Contest, by Caren Krutsinger
Honorable Mention
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
abuse, bullying, environment, money,
the mars man
Musk has deployed a mother lode
Trump’s tariffs can't ever erode!
His influence gift
Means we get short shrift
And Earth is his private commode
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
business, money, race,
market share marathon
With takeovers bankers are set
But Capital One's is a threat
Owning Discover
As surrogate mother
Makes Visa and Mastercard sweat
Written by
Janet Eaton
Categories:
cat, funny, horror,
The Cat and the Rat
There once was Princess the cat
Who found a big fat hairy rat
She brought it in to play
But mother said no way
And found her a very big metal bat
Written by
Larry Belt
Categories:
funny
The Mother-In-Law Limerick
With only one look it ruptured my spleen
The ugliest creature I've ever seen
You'd know if you ever saw
It's called my mother-in-law
And smells like the gas produced from a bean
Written by
John Trusty
Categories:
funny, political
Altoid Sales Errupted
Bill (in) Hillary? A turgid question.
Monica eased prostatic congestion.
His Altoids improved the taste,
while her dress absorbed the waste.
Her mother kept the prized possession!
*For the “Political Woes” contest You can’t make this stuff up.
Written by
John Smith
Categories:
mother,
There Was An Old Woman Who Lived In a Shoe
The old woman in the shoe scandal
who had those kids, too much to handle
Now that they are full grown
and she is home alone,
she'll down-size to a sandal.
Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
woman,
Long Live the Queen
Though her reign has had rarely a flaw,
England’s queen once or twice dropped her jaw.
She’s enjoyed a long life
As both mother and wife.
Not so much as a mother-in-law!
For the Long Live the Queen Contest of Judy Konos
Written by
Mick Talbot
Categories:
nature, pollution,
Mother Nature - Not Amused
Oceans, woods, abused, confused!
Mother nature not amused!
Her bellies aching.
Mistakes we're making!
Time pollution was defused!
There is an old man of the ocean,
To marine life is his devotion.
We have to put right,
Marine waters plight.
Or suffer our own devolution!
Written by
Larry Belt
Categories:
funny
Closet Case
She looks like death on a crippled spider
Hips like an elephant, maybe wider
My friends came over and saw
My ugly mother-in-law
Next time they come they want me to hide her
Written by
Panya Chanthavong
Categories:
baby, father son, kids, girl, love, mom, son,
The Only Girl
Hey Son, I wrote this to warn you
In your whole life, many girls are coming through
You might have only girl to love her much over
But you have to remember that do not hurt your mother
She is my only girl too...
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
angel, baby, child, child abuse, divorce, giggle, humor,
nerd dad
once a child with a rattle
enjoyed crawling around cattle
till its mother found out
and to her ex did shout
you lost your custody battle.
Written by
Tirzah Conway
Categories:
allegory, family, father, funny, husband, mother, wife
She Really Did Get This Call
I wish I could be a fly on the wall,
When my poor old mother gets the phone call,
“He’s here at the bar
Quick bring us your car,
Your husband just got in a brawl”
Written by
Ralph Taylor
Categories:
funny
Fly Spy
As a fly on the wall of Larry's domain
I would witness first hand the cause of his pain
Once I saw what I saw
Larry's Mother-in-Law
I'm sure that I'd never go back there again!
Written by
Larry Belt
Categories:
funnyday,
A Good Mother-In-Law Poem
There once was a man who started to shake
The day he was married his heart would break
It happened the day he saw
His ugly mother-in-law
'Twas way too much for the poor man to take
Okay I lied it wasn't a good mother-in-law poem
Written by
Cassie Smith
Categories:
family, friendship, funny, happiness, hope, life, love, mother, nature, passion, seasons,
Mothers Day
Mothers are the best
They are like a test
They are very loving
They like a flower budding
The treat us like a fest.
Written by
Tim Smith
Categories:
nonsense,
Trouble In Nonsense Alley
Our two funny limmerists are at it again
Clucking about like two mother hens
Jack's chemise is just wrong
Can't look at John's thong
Hey ya two cowpokes, when's this all going to end
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
international, political,
Nit Up
If you are the mother of Vlad
Your heart is increasingly sad
Vlad just wants more ground
The whole world has found
That bugger is stark raving mad!
Written by
Jack Horne
Categories:
childhood
Bye Bye, Baby
As this poem was being written,
A small boy appeared to be smitten.
He loved his baby brother,
But then he asked his mother,
‘Please can we swap him for a kitten?’
Brotherly Love
Jack Horne
24th April 2011