Carl is still in Rio
He is hooked on the casino
Sweet love in moonlight
Cherry musk all night
His libido is like a volcano
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
6-8-5 -5 -10 syllables
The world as we know it will end!
This warning the Mayans did send
But yes there's still time
After reading this rhyme
To honor Black Friday and spend
All I want is a Christmas lover
A present that is like no other
His wife gave permission
Under one condition
Just give Santa time to recover
November 19, 2019
Contest ~ Holiday Themed Limerick
Sponsor ~ Tania Kitchin
Count ~ 9, 9, 6, 6, 9
GOOD LUCK, SAM
Shamrocks with green eggs and ham.
Resistance from Sam I Am.
If you offer him gold,
he won’t see the mold.
Leprechauns roar at the sham.
Kim Merryman’s Luck of the Irish Limerick Contest
There was a vampire named Vlad7
The Village all thought he was bad7
But the true story5
Just wasn't gory5
It turns out Vlad was just sad7
There once was a cool guy named Jack
Jack o’ lanterns attacked his back
Witch Cate blew straight through
She saved the famed wizard Jack Black
*The House with a Clock in Its Walls
I saw mom and Santa having a chat
She told him he was much too fat
She then grabbed his behind
With eyes closed kissed him blind
Then they both fell on the mat
Holiday Themed Limerick
Sponsored by: Tania Kitchin
N/A for contest
A wild gobbler strutted into the woods,
it did not see all the camouflage hoods,
straight into a turkey shoot;
trips over a gnarly root,
with ruffle feathers made off with its goods.
Poetry Contest: Holiday Themed Limerick
Sponsored By: Tania Kitchin
A silk top I asked Santa Claus for!
How did MrClaus handle that chore?
On that beautiful silk
I found stains from spilled milk.
Milk and cookies for Santa? No MORE!
For Tania Kitchin's A Fun Holiday Limerick Poetry Contest
There was a boy who liked to drink beer
He'd been more naughty than nice all year
Abrupt low of energy
Caused by sudden allergy
Will make for a sober Christmas cheer
Submitted on November 19, 2019 for contest HOLIDAY THEMED LIMERICK sponsored by TANIA KITCHIN - RANKED 4TH
I lost my old bucket so sadly,
And felt oh so terribly badly;
Then lo and behold
A pot full of gold!
I'd lose me another and gladly.
"It's a cuckold I am!", Mick sadly said
"I'm after finding black hairs in me bed!"
"An' there's a relief!"
Sighed Ginger O'Keefe
"I was shure ye were aboot ta say red!"
I once drank some beer that was green
The weirdest that I’d ever seen
They said, “It’s that way
For StPatricks day"
I then peed with green in my stream
I went on vacation to Hell,
The hotel was hot, with a smell,
And The Devil was rude,
When I toyed with my food:
He cooked all the dinners as well.
For Carolyn’s Vacation contest
There once was a man from Georgia
Who bought his love a Camellia
Red blooms for Saint Valentine
This gift no adrenline
Just glad that it's not grindelia
On Jim the Trim's cruise, in a luxury liner
He was asked to be frisked, what a stinger!
You see, the alarm went off
He was taken and 'cuffed
Wee metal marbles, found in his boxer.
KIM PATRICE NUNEZ
18 April 2015
I made myself sick with the brown bag flu,
From drinking too much of that “Mountain Dew”;
So here’s what I say,
NO drinking today;
I pray this never happens to you!
Desert dune damage, feet wrapped in gauze,
To sue, the lawyer thought he had cause,
Yet the relevant section,
Escaped his detection,
--There was no sandy clause.
Holiday goodies, hung round the tree
They are the best you must agree
So did the dog then guess what
Up they all came, steaming hot
Next time just baubles and lights you'll see
Christmas finds reindeer landing on rooftops
Santa’s kindly added some extra stops
His sleigh filled with travelers
Scared of TSA handlers
Scoff as coal through government chimneys drops
*For Francine’s Christmas contest
Scattered beautifully on our bed are roses
But it's the one that I like that poses
For it attracts in me
My mind and body agrees
Lay down whilst this Highlander proposes
Will those who want rapture connect
To the one who could resurrect?
Be blessed with vision
Take in what's arisen
A member that’s hard and erect
A tongue with good luck is embraced
By a honeyed candy-like taste
This holiday treat
Is a fabulous eat
And lies under silk lingerie laced
Little one winks to her big James
Her mind wants the evening games
Ones desire to be astride
For their lips to collide
Passion fueled they danced into flames
There once was a lady named Queen
That loved going out on Halloween
She’d give the kids a fright
That lasted more than a night
With ghostly looks and lips of green