Limerick Poems About Wives | Wife Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Thvia Shetley |
Categories: funeral, funny, sports,

A Golf Limerick

While a man was golfing in Fife
a funeral cortege was arife,

       his head bowed in prayer
       at this somber affair

to pay last respects to his wife!

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Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: humorous,

Old Bill - Bawdy Limerick

A sex mad codger named Bill Swallowed a Viagra pill His todger did rise - You should see the size It sure gave his wife a thrill 17th Feb 2015

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: humorous,

Keep It In the Family

In flagranti with an unknown lover Sprang apart from underneath the cover How his wife she did shout Now his secret was out - His hidden lover was her own mother! 4th March 2015

Poem Details | by Jean Murray |
Categories: metaphor, proposal, recovery from,

My Plumber

My plumber is here to sort my pipes.
Says he has divorced his wife.
He just showed me his hose.
Then proceeded to propose.
I admit I got the fright of my life.

Poem Details | by Paul Schneiter |
Categories: humor,

Blues News

There was a miserable husband of McNigh
Who had a tendency to frequently cry.
His wife filed for divorce
Causing him no remorse.
Now he’s happy as a drunk drinking rye.

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: body, humorous, lust, political,

Ronald Likes a Nice Bit of Rump

A politician called Ronald Dump Loves to pat pretty girls on the rump At a peachy pert tush All his brains turn to mush His wife floors him – you should see the lump! Fictional write for fun 7th June 2016

Poem Details | by Cecilia Macfarlane |
Categories: giggle,

The Ultimate Gift

All I want is a Christmas lover
A present that is like no other
His wife gave permission 
Under one condition 
Just give Santa time to recover 

November 19, 2019

Contest ~ Holiday Themed Limerick 
Sponsor ~ Tania Kitchin
Count ~ 9, 9, 6, 6, 9

Poem Details | by Larry Belt |
Categories: funny


I lost my wife among the masses
She said I was blind and needed glasses
I searched the inbetweens
Remembered I fed her beans
Then closed my eyes and followed the gasses

Poem Details | by Dale Gregory Cozart |
Categories: humor, love,

The Pickler's Wife

The young pickler's wife was quite fickle, one day warm then a cold icicle. But now she's amorous, dressed up quite glamorous. She's tickled the young pickler's pickle!

Poem Details | by Larry Belt |
Categories: funny

Poke It!!!

Her mom has a wart on her face that grows
How that thing got there nobody knows
I looked to my wife and said
"Poke it, I think that its dead"
She said, "Stop it!, that thing is her nose"

Poem Details | by Joseph Tucker |
Categories: home, ireland, marriage, romance,

Stay At Home

Said Seamus to his wife, with a wink
Since I cannae go out for a drink
I'm sure me and you
Can find something to do
Let me hug you, while both of us think

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: chocolate, silly,

The Candy Was Hid

Mister Johns was pretty fat for his height
He snarfed every piece of choc'late in sight
   His wife the candy was hid
   You know what MrJohns did?
He went out trick-or-treating like a kid

Poem Details | by Lindsay Laurie |
Categories: humorous,

No Way Known

My ex-wife thought I was being funny,
when I proposed again calling her honey.
All she had to say,
was ‘never; no way!’
She believed I’m just after my money.

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: work,

Maid In America

I had an affair with a maid
Accustomed to doing as bade
Now she is with child
The wife has gone wild,
"Thats not how a maid should be paid!"

Poem Details | by Mark Koplin |
Categories: humor,

Woodrow Is Lame

Woodrow's wife is the apple of his eye
But there's been no sex lately and here's why
She told him that he's lame
Every night it's the same
There are other options she wants to try

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Care Every Where and Much To Spare

Care Every Where and Much To Spare

Christ has so much care to share;
All over earth and was everywhere,
And His love,
From above,
He sent to us with much to spare.

Jim Horn

My wife said that I should change
my PoetrySoupNot sure how to
do that.

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

Between the Ears

My wife and I lived happily for twenty years Then we met!!! Ever since I've been in arrears Oh for the good old days Enjoyed my “being right” phase Ever since I've become dead between the ears

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

Mar-A-Lago Poker

The wife took a job that pays pretty fair
Combing out daylight from Trump's orange hair
Displaying his lust
Trump stares at her bust
Confirming an Ace can not beat a pair!

Poem Details | by Ken Duddle |
Categories: food, funny,

No Farting Allowed

There was a man named Fred Who liked eating baked beans in bed One day when he farted He and his wife parted 'Well it's quicker than divorce' Said Fred.

Poem Details | by John Fenn |
Categories: daughter, funny, wife


A cockney from over the water
Had a wife and a tasty young daughter
They would lead him a dance
And he stood not a chance
Cos they both never did what they oughta

Poem Details | by Lindsay Laurie |
Categories: humor,

Call the Midwife

T’was her ninth month and early summer,
My wife said she’d heard nothing dumber,
After she had spoken,
Her water had broken...
And me ringing up for a plumber.

Poem Details | by Edward Ebbs |
Categories: family, funny, life,

Beers and Tears

Men measure life by the number of beers
Women measure life by the flow of tears
It is when the dad farts
His wife moans in her heart
Because her own children laugh and cheer

Edward J Ebbs - October 11, 2011

Written for a poem Contest, Limericks Hilarious

Poem Details | by Doris Culverhouse |
Categories: humorous,

Nutcracker Limerick

Nutcracker ballet tickets for fun
Elegantly floating on air and sun
A great fall off the wall
Wife has a vice tis strife
Nutcracker career, hubby done!

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: body, for him, humorous,

He's Bent

I feel terribly sorry for Rodger He developed a kink in his todger It looked such a sight when bent to the right that his poor wife ran off with the lodger! Submitted to Any poem (not for contest) Sponsored by Broken Wings 1st January 2016

Poem Details | by Laura Leiser |
Categories: funny, life,

Lazy Guy

The weeds in his yard were sky high
"Just PULL them!" nagged his wife, said he'd try
But the thought brought him sorrow
Said, "I'll do it tomorrow!"
As he sat, eating junk food and fries

Written on 6/19/2015

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