A merman had one stubborn daughter
who rebelled against what her dad taught her.
When she swam to dry land,
she could then understand
she was just like a fish - out of water!
For the Out of Water Poetry Contest of Sheri Fresonke Harper
When Farmer Brown’s daughter grew busty,
The men pulling turnips grew lusty.
Brown then had to choose
Which shotgun to use
If one of those hands proved untrusty.
Humdinger Spice Apple Pie
Yesterday I baked a humdinger spice apple pie
Then my daughter called said she’d stop and give it a try
She was smacking her lips
Couldn’t take any tips
She told me I’m the queen of all the best apple pies.
Written: 2014 in the Autumn
A cockney from over the water
Had a wife and a tasty young daughter
They would lead him a dance
And he stood not a chance
Cos they both never did what they oughta
Their well being covers every corner of his conscience
caring for them is his default so beyond science
even when he seems wicked
he’d not mind to go naked
for love in their life to have a high rate of prevalence.
Hiding in mummy's tummy, kicking happily away
I'm kissing you warmly, clapping and singing in play
They say in a few weeks
I'll be able to kiss your new cheeks
I can't wait for the morning I'll lift you in a sway
It was the sixth wedding for daughter Judy
who was quite plain and hardly a beauty.
Time came to give away the bride
whereupon her Father replied
"five times I've tried--I've done my duty."
Such a pail
I have a sweet beautiful daughter
Who is always fetching me water
Each day without fail
she has such a pail
When my daughter brings me the water
Limerick Contest December 24, 2015
Sponsored by Jan Allison
Once was a man named lefty Louie
Tried robbing corner store Oh phooey
Little did he come know
Ten sensei's Ready go
Here there nothing felt but Ka Pooey's
My oldest daughter, I named Colleen
She entered puberty at thirteen
The birds and bee's explained
Left me completely drained
Dad, I already know the sex scene
Contest Entry by Charles Sides
The people who were still alive
Helped other survivors revive
All this didn’t bother
An excellent father
Who just taught his daughter to drive
Annie, our Golden, is a member of the family
Just like a daughter, it's really uncanny
After going out upon our return
Our love's enthusiastically reaffirmed
Her excitement explodes, our dearest sweet Annie
© Jack Ellison 2015
A pretty colleen from Kilrea,
Went dancing on StPatrick's Day.
Not asking permission
Was grievous omission.
Dad broke the dance up straight away.
Once there was a lady by name Glory,
the daughter of a duke, John Gregory.
Stylishness! Admirable! Grace!
Precision! Behavior! Appearance!
Bloody notWoman of a “Big Family”.
There once was a couple named Kelly
Who called their young daughter, Sweet Nellie.
And why was she so sweet?
Because all she would eat
Was just peanut butter and jelly.
A poetry writer named Vince
Had some lyrics ,and tried to convince
His young daughter to say
That rap had it's day
Now , poor Pop is Hip Hop , ever since
There was a young woman with daughter
She worked more hours than she oughta
Worked her fingers to the bone
Needed a payday loan
To pay for the shoes that she bought her
Jane's dad was a man of hauteur,
He employed a guard for his daughter
But that bloke was her dream,
She eloped with him,
Her father didn't know this suitor!
Im finally a mother
I see the good and the bad
Ive been there for you
When i gave birth to you
was the happiest days of my life
Im never going leave you
Baby i just want you to know
how much your mommy loves
There was an old fellow from Pinner
Whose daughter ate lots of lunch and dinner
Then woke up one day
Very obese by the way
And now she's so fat and not thinner!
Dorian Petersen Potter
In many and many ages hence
Standing on a hill that makes no sense
Archaeologist dig way down
Found way beneath a Royal Crown
Bad odor becoming intense
(This for Limerick Game or whatever passed from C.E.McMillen I pass the Limerick torch to
Doris Culverhouse lovely daughter).
There was an old man named Lawter
He mutated an onion, a donkey and his daughter
The experiment went well
As you can tell
She now has an ass that make your eyes water
Goes with the trend bravely but with half sight
ripe sexuality, her massive headlight
following growth so damp
every act gives a cramp
scaling through with my ancient words, she might.
my goodness, i work to the bone
to support you until you're grown
hope someday you'll see
new visions of me
and live in that moment you own
A Scotsman's daughter named Nelly
drew pictures of mice on her belly.
That night in a dream
she squeaked out a scream
and woke with a tail in New Delhi.