At one-hundred grandpa dreams of a fling
Scoring the streets for a saucy young thing
He's mastered a line
That works every time
'Come to my playground, and learn how to swing!'
Limerick : Once a Lonely Grand-Dad in a Log-Jam
Once a Lonely Grand-Dad in a Log-Jam
Paid an urgent visit to a Grande-Dame*
She lifted the stuck log
During Pea-Souper smog
Damn ! Got carried down Grand-Dad Rapids – Wham !
* Dame : pronounced as in French
© TWignesan – Paris, 2013
"I'm Sixty Five he told his grandson,"
"That's why it's so hard for me to run!"
The boy could not hide
What he felt inside
He asked, "Grandpa, did you start at one?"
Grandpa said, "I bought a hearing aid of late"
"Though It was expensive, it really works great!"
His grandson said, "I see,"
"And what kind might it be?"
Grandpa then replied, "It's ten minutes till eight!"
Grandpa's miniature toy boat
I borrowed the vintage to float
Down the slope full of rain
Oops gone down a storm drain
Lucky Gramps didn't go for my throat
Submitted on March 3, 2019 for contest DOWN A STORM DRAIN GONE FOREVER sponsored by EVE ROPER
Live hard and die young has gone awry
I lived hard but not enough to die
Aches and sprains
Live hard and die hard seems to apply!
My grandfather can’t really hear
He should have an aid in his ear
No sound that is found
Can he listen profound
And see that the noise can appear
Pa could not bend over to the stove like he should
The wood is too heavy for Ma is understood
To ease this plight
And make it right
Mama bent over after Papa got wood!
My neighbour’s little son is so smart
In an assignment on Grandparents, he wrote
“They never seem to hurry,
Any time, can tell a story
Before sleep, they take their teeth and gums out”
A grandfather clock sure is grand
Chime the time, on an antique stand
But if late you get
There's one sure bet
That old clock won't give you a hand!
When you stay with granddad, it seems
life isn’t quite always a dream;
some lessons are hard,
like eating Swiss chard
in order to get some ice cream!
Written on 7/27/2021
By Gail R DeBole
Updated on 8/17/2021
My granddad’s five-dollar bill in hand
Was blown by a breeze through farmland.
Our dog, King, “saved the Abe”
Fetched the bill straight away
To return it to my grandad’s hand.
(True Story that happened in the 1960s)
After we each consumed a weed lolly
My best bestie gave grandad some molly,
He threw her leg over
They rolled in the clover,
Now my auntie’s my bestie’s f*** folly.
Written May 19, 2023 for the "Funny, Bawdy or Humorous Limerick Poetry Contest"
Ilene was on her morning walk
When she saw a grandfather clock
But something was wrong!
The clock had no dong!
It was a replica Tik Tok!