Poem Details | by
J. Summers |
Categories:
humorous, ireland,
An Irishman from out in Dubuque
Drank green beer till he started to puke.
He came home all plastered,
His wife said you bastard,
Sobriety for you is a fluke.
L. Milton Hankins Limerick contest
Poem Details | by
John lawless |
Categories:
drink, ireland,
His drink the black beauty foaming and thick
toasting St Patrick until he gets sick
then off to the loo
he knows what to do
cuz ya can't teach an old dog a new trick
3/2/2021
Poem Details | by
Rico Leffanta |
Categories:
word play,
I was moved by the crack of Dawn
And could see she had nothing on
A little peek
A little sneak
A Straight Flush beats carrying-on!
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
addiction,
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand
That's the kind of diet this old guy has planned
Probably won't lose
But with no taboos
I'll be the happiest fat guy who continues to expand
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
giggle,
Never test the water with BOTH feet
To feel the temperature or if it's too deep
One foot at a time
For testing the brine
If it's over your head, bad words you'll bleep
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
depression,
That moment when you think it'll be a silent fart
And it comes out like a machine gun gives your heart a start
Knocking down strangers
Not realizing the danger
Turning their hair white and creating a new part
Poem Details | by
Linda Fowler |
Categories:
celebration, fun, funny, giggle, humor, humorous,
Saint Patrick slept in stupor self-imposed
in the back of the pub with the door closed
they sang out for him
to silence the din
but he snuggly snored on indisposed
03/01/2021
LIMERICKS in honor of St. Patrick's Day Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: L MILTON HANKINS
Poem Details | by
L MILTON HANKINS |
Categories:
humorous, tribute,
Once there was a young lad from Aberdeen
Whose knees were the knobbiest ever seen.
He bought himself a kilt,
Wore the kilt without guilt
He kept his bony knees kilt-worthy clean.
Poem Details | by
Rico Leffanta |
Categories:
giggle,
It is strange the Church did not care
The statue of David is bare
For women to see
A Saint he could be
With so little that he could share!
Poem Details | by
Justin Abdool |
Categories:
beach, body, desire, hope, horror, sun, sunshine,
There once lived an indoor host
Who was ashen as a ghost
So he had this plan
To get a nice tan
But the sun burnt him like toast!
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
children,
You're only young once, but can always be immature
As long as you live, trust me, I know this to be fact for sure
I'm a prime example
A perfect sample
Of immaturity, you can surely be assured
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
cry,
One of the mysteries in the history of man
Kamikaze pilots wearing helmets, I don't understand
To live and to die
For the Emperor, they cry
Unimaginable to us but for the glory of Japan
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
peace,
The world is corrupt, why can't we see
Our time here is limited, tolerance is the key
Too many have have died
Need to live side by side
Let's all join a worldwide peace jamboree
Poem Details | by
Caren Krutsinger |
Categories:
fun,
Crazy and sixty, Sam jazzed up his tone.
It’s Fat Tuesday, yet he is all alone.
Hat with feathers
Plaid not leathers
Boob flashers captured him on their I-phones.
Poem Details | by
Andrea Dietrich |
Categories:
humor,
When King Lion met Jack Kangaroo,
quite a struggle ensued at the zoo.
Leo tried to attack,
but Jack fired then right back:
"Are you crazy, Cat? I know Kung Fu!"
Submitted March 1, 2021
for L Milton Hankins' Limericks In Honor Of St. Patrick's Day Poetry Contest
Poem Details | by
Gershon Wolf |
Categories:
celebrity, kiss, new york,
Cuomos goose up New York's scenario
Today Andrew; yesterday, Mario --
They think they're ladies' men
Each one a 'real gem' --
Andrew's the unlucky lothario
Poem Details | by
Janice Canerdy |
Categories:
drink, holiday,
A brew-loving guy from Kilkenny
is mad! His wife spent their last penny--
on green beer in a cask?
No! For each, a green mask.
Oh, that thirsty, masked guy from Kilkenny!
February 28, 2021
Contest Title: Limericks in Honor of St. Patrick's Day
Sponsor: L. MILTON HANKINS
Poem Details | by
Wren Rushing |
Categories:
political,
The king of New York known as Andy,
the media once thought he was dandy.
He fell in a slump,
blamed it on Trump.
Seems that excuse comes in quite handy.
2/28/21
Poem Details | by
Daisy Ward |
Categories:
fun, humorous,
Her computer had a spy bug
So, she pulled it from the wall plug
She disassembled it quick
Then used a new trick
Giving the system a debug tug
Poem Details | by
Daisy Ward |
Categories:
fun, humorous,
The man’s rent was overdue
Causing his face to turn blue
He got fake money and paid
Then was caught in a raid
Now, serving time and making brew
Poem Details | by
Daisy Ward |
Categories:
fun, humorous,
The girl spilled a box of salt
Then had a terrible thought
The spill meant bad luck
Suddenly, she was struck
By a truck carrying a large bank vault
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
anxiety,
Pushed the wrong button, lost a bunch of stuff
Unable to recover, disappeared in a puff
Stuff, quite unique
Such havoc I wreak
Send me out to pasture, this geezer has had enough
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
fun,
f you wait long enough, things will surely start clicking
Your elbows, your knees and your eyes will start flicking
You'll bump into doors
Trip on things on the floor
But everything's okay as long as ye ole heart keeps on ticking
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
silly,
We all need at least ten hours sleep
To wake up all bouncy with a cheep cheep cheep
Ready for the day
Ready to sashay
Like a ballet dancer through the air I'll leap
Poem Details | by
Rico Leffanta |
Categories:
giggle,
Cannabis sativa decreed
But people like to call it, "weed"
It smokes so hot
Some call it "pot"
And I know where your dog just peed
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
anxiety,
What is a limerick... this is a limerick!
Don't understand, is this some kind of a trick?
I'll repeat it slower
Perhaps when you're sober
Sometimes you can be as thick as a brick!
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
fun,
Think there's a bunch of dudes walking round
Traveled from space, their ship never found
Saw a picture of Charlize
Got trembling knees
Uttered, “khsxlauihlhqwxzcbbsqgwydwiujcnjbx”
(Loosely translated; A nice pair of boobies abound)
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
fun,
What makes us male guys go totally loopy
Eyeballing young females with a cute little booty
There ain't nuttin' finer
Makes us growl like a tiger
Or scream like a banshee while ogling these cuties
Poem Details | by
Kai Michael Neumann |
Categories:
culture,
Cupid thought she was rather blunt
when he surveyed her bottom and front
she defiled with a razor
after wielding a taser
incised his stupid macho affront
27th February 2021
Poem Details | by
Rico Leffanta |
Categories:
dog,
When Lady Gaga's French bulldogs
Stoked half-a-million squealing hogs
The canine corps
Knocked on her door
With countless tails like pollywogs . . . .
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
cheer up,
Been accused of being a flirt, that's not my style
When I compliment a waitress along with a smile
No harm, no foul
I'm not on the prowl
Just trying to brighten this fillies' day for a while
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
friendship,
Have I told you lately the fun I'm having
In this sea of heartfelt emotions I'm splashing
What would I do
Without all of you
My world would be empty and devoid of laughing
Poem Details | by
Jack Ellison |
Categories:
love,
Must keep writing, got much to relive
It's easy just to say, “got no more to give!”
As long as I'm sniffing
Love's aroma I'm wishing
If I ramble on incoherently, please do forgive
Poem Details | by
Justin Abdool |
Categories:
anxiety, boat, courage, fear, funny, sea, voyage,
There once stood a ship explored
Sunk at sea but was restored
But people were scared
And nobody dared
When they would say, "all aboard!"
Poem Details | by
Justin Abdool |
Categories:
animal, bird, drink, fear, food, funny, horror,
There once was a man named Buck
Who ate a morsel of duck
He started to cough
Then took a huge quaff
Cause his wife forgot to pluck!
All Limericks