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Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Lisle Ryder |
Categories: corruption, science,

Omicron disruptor

I am the Alpha and the Omega.
Somewhere between there came a disruptor
     Omicron relation – 
     a Covid mutation.
May our Saviour help with this corrupter.


Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

The Beat

Boom boxes can help you to share
Whatever comes over the air
But Milton hates drums
So don't be all thumbs
Or you'll learn why life is not fair!

Poem Details | by L MILTON HANKINS |
Categories: humor,

Wayward-Thinking Lover

Once was a smart, forward-thinking young lady in Gloucester Her wayward-thinking lover she summarily oustered Since his libido he couldn’t control, Ceremoniously, he had to go And soon, thereafter, he became a carnival rouster.
written December 4, 2021

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

Church Lurch

The wife recited The Golden Rule
As she dashed into her yoga school
Each move is complex
Regardless of sex
But the vicar just swallowed his tool.


Poem Details | by Valsa George |
Categories: extended metaphor, riddle,

What is What

Compressed carbon is called Diamond
Cut land in water is called Island
Beaten copper is Wire
Love bitten man- Lover
Compressed, cut n’ beaten man is Husband

Poem Details | by Shirley Hawkins |
Categories: 10th grade,

NO GO RUDY BABY

Many moons ago,
Rudolph played in the snow.
He did not have to fly,
With Father Christmas, in the sky,
Beccause his Mummy said no.




I wrote this some time ago.

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: sleep,

Beau Peep

Big problem for Little Bo-Peep:
Frisky lambs would not let her sleep
Then one afternoon
A ram made her swoon
And that's when she learned to count sheep!

Poem Details | by Melani Udaeta |
Categories: emotions, food, humor,

Robust Battle

Some say this pie is criminal,
mozzarella drenched with pineapple; 
Pizza to devour or throw 
euphoric or a waste of dough; 
Two palates, one robust battle.   

Poem Details | by Maurice Rigoler |
Categories: humor,

How to Win Poetry Prizes


I wrote a poem and it won first prize.
I had no doubts, so it came as no surprise.
	And you should see my walls,
	ribbons, plaques and medals.
And yours will too if, like me, you plagiarize.

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: christmas, humor,

Christmas in Las Vegas

Odds are Kris Kringle won't Show today
Because Father Christmas leads the way
So jolly Saint Nick
Will be today's Pick
If Santa Claus will lend him his sleigh

Poem Details | by Maurice Rigoler |
Categories: humor,

Prostate Time


Listen up, I’ve been there, guys;
it’s nothing you can’t tell your wives.
	And it’s fast, cut and dry,
	with no pain and no cry –
like getting goosed sans the surprise.

Poem Details | by Maurice Rigoler |
Categories: humor,

Not Quite Like Jonah



A hard drinking sea captain told this tale:
Like Jonah he once spent time in a whale,
	and like the prophet of old
	was spewed out, he bitterly told –
not from its mouth but from under it’s tail.

Poem Details | by Maurice Rigoler |
Categories: dark, humor,

Doomed Groom


Did you hear about the groom
whose marriage was headed for doom
	when the bride-to-be said 
	“I did” not “I do” as expected.
Yelled the groom: when and where and with whom?

Poem Details | by Maurice Rigoler |
Categories: dark, humor,

Charged with Homicide


A lady who heard her husband had died
by the police was charged with homicide.
	I’m hoping, she said, it was
	the faulty brakes or the exhaust.
And if not, then the carbon monoxide.

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

Professional Legislators

Rep. Pelosi was the House Speaker
So the GOP hired a streaker
Although she could see
It hung to his knee
Bill's passage appeared to be weaker . . .

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

Another Delicious Day



Today and every day are really delicious The love that we munch on is really nutritious There's Vitamins L O V E Keeping us dudes happy as can be If you run out of vitamins, I'll throw in some kisses

Poem Details | by L MILTON HANKINS |
Categories: humorous,

The Danger of Sunglasses

I knew a young lad from the village of Trent He wore dark sunglasses wherever he went Ladies couldn't see his blues, So they focused on his fuse 'Til one day his vision was entirely spent.
written November 30, 2021

Poem Details | by Justin Abdool |
Categories: old, sick,

The Common Cold

What happened to the common cold
The news of it is getting old

Since covid has spread
And left many dead

It should be over soon I am told!

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: women,

Right to Life

Although a man can take a wife
He has no right to rule her life
She'll never lose
Her right to choose 
So suck it up and end the strife!

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: moving on,

Moving Is A Great Big Pain



Moving has always been a great big pain It's the same old procedure time and again Stuff we haven't seen Since back in our teens But we keep hanging on which is totally insane

Poem Details | by Angela Tune |
Categories: boyfriend, crazy,

Dont try this at home

I once had a boyfriend called Ronny
Who lit his own fart wasn’t funny
Flames flew in the air
Burning bum hair
So Ronny ran home to his mummy

Poem Details | by Valsa George |
Categories: betrayal, lost love, love,

As Love Runs

He sang-‘You’re like a red, red rose
With you dear, my life ever glows’
She sang- ‘But you’re a thorn
Your presence, I greatly mourn’
Now both sang- ‘So we shall end our woes’

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: how i feel, motivation, poets,

Guess Who This is About

There's a poet gun-shy 'bout limericks
He sure wants to get over that right quick
  So he's penning these lines
  He's refraining from whines
Hoping that his good intentions will stick

Poem Details | by Melani Udaeta |
Categories: emotions, holiday, humor,

Spam For The Holidays

Don’t they know where it’s going?
So much time they are wasting; 
Robotic spam we are stuck
with holiday email junk; 
Life ticking as I sit deleting. 

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: health,

Omicron aka O My Crony

Whilst Fauci was counting the dead
Trump's face turned from orange to red,
"Dear God!  Can't you see?
They voted for me!
Take those vaccinated instead!"

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

Cover Up Your Face



Are you ever serious, people have wondered Sometimes, if I haven't had a really good slumber Not grumpy but be safe Better cover up your face Coz I might flail about if I can't find my uppers

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: art,

Sketching Famous People



Think I'll get back to sketching famous people When they autograph my drawings it's a really big deal My success rate's way up there Much more than my share Twelve hundred last time, that was totally surreal

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

No Ease

Captain Kirk told God, "I'm exploring
So you are bound to see me soaring
But man alive
That damn warp drive
Sounds worse than Methuselah snoring!"

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: dream,

Off To Dreamland



Have any of you experienced one of those days When you just want to stare at the sky on a chaise Let the world pass you by Sing a sweet lullaby Till you're off to dreamland in the afternoon haze

Poem Details | by L MILTON HANKINS |
Categories: how i feel, humorous,

Unlucky

Six men are strolling atop the levee They whistle a tune, happy as can be Recklessly one falls over, Splashing into the water I’m glad the unlucky one wasn’t me.
written November 27, 2021

Poem Details | by L MILTON HANKINS |
Categories: humorous,

Peach on the Beach

I spotted the gal laying on the beach She was quite beautiful, just out of reach So, stopping, I said hello I noticed her instant glow And, boy, did she turn out to be a peach.
written November 23, 2021 on the beach in Puerto Vallarta

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: relationship, word play,

Black Friday

Their time together was heated
As she suspected he cheated
The lad did not know
No rain, no rain beau
So the cycle was repeated

Poem Details | by Valsa George |
Categories: anger, funny love, violence,

Shock Treatment

As one freshly released from Bedlam
He asked her, intending no harm
"Can I kiss you madam"?
As if he were her Adam
Her fist fell on his cheek ‘dum’ ‘dum’!

Poem Details | by Angela Tune |
Categories: drink, flower,

Rose tea

There once was a rose not so red
Blanche didn’t pop rose by her bed
She chopped it instead
Made tea nice and red
And drank it with her fella Fred



(Woohoo, I’ve branched out into Limerick land...erm I think? Hahahahaha)

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: america,

DC

When Joe and Jill went up the hill
To fetch the passage of a bill
The GOP*
Would not agree
Thanksgiving arrived with a chill

*  Like China and Russia, Republicans
insist government should be of the PARTY, 
by the PARTY and for the PARTY!


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