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Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Kevon Worrell |
Categories: 12th grade, encouraging, funny, october, teen, time,

Oct-to-baby

This is your month your time to shine
Takeoff with happiness and leave the hate behind 
Its fall but I hope you don't fall 
Live life make your own call 
Party all in all but don't forget to give god time 


Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: new york,

Miss Manners Tiers

When Jan and Ilene did New York
Their lunch was disturbed by a fork
Left hand or right?
Wait!  What a fright!
Its Trump's New York!  Quick!  Sniff the cork!

Poem Details | by Lisle Ryder |
Categories: bible, blessing, christian, jesus,

Blessed are you -

Upon the Mount with crowds gathered round
Jesus began the Law to expound.
     But first for right attitudes
     he taught them Beatitudes,
as hearing in awe they were spellbound.

Matthew 5.1-12

Poem Details | by Lisle Ryder |
Categories: bible, christian, jesus,

At the trumpet blast

Then will appear in heaven the sign
that heralds the Son of Man to shine.
     As the people's lament
     he'll fulfil his intent
with trumpet blast for the end divine.

Matthew 24.30-31


Poem Details | by Daisy Ward |
Categories: funny, happy, sleep,

DOZED

The icecream man takes a quick doze
Suddenly, fell and broke his nose
Blood oozes everywhere
Held his nose in the air
Now his ice cream is red like a rose

Poem Details | by Daisy Ward |
Categories: fun, humorous,

BLIND DATE

Thus crushing on her blind date
Causes her to knock over the plate
The food crashes to the floor
Her date runs out the door
So, she tries to determine her fate

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, word play,

A TRUMP MEANS A FART - FOR ALEXIS


In Britain a trump is a fart My father perfected his art Foul farts he would push Right out of his tush Gasping for fresh air I would dart! So... I guess that means the Potus is just an old wind bag 10/27/20

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: age,

Tipping My Sleigh



It shouldn't be allowed, these girlies of today Enticing us old guys till we lose our toupee Without it we sob No longer a heartthrob Get really so distraught we fall off our sleigh

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: allusion,

Alzheimer's



Diagnosed with Alzheimer's, the docs must be wrong Am alert as ever, in fact, pull up my own pretty thongs Drives the fillies crazy In my mouth, there's a daisy And a pretty pink bow tied to my enormous ding dong

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: love,

What Goes Up



What goes up must come down Except for a bodily function quite renowned A function so joyous We utter loud voices Voices that can be heard all over town

Poem Details | by Tim Riding |
Categories: animal, funny,

Wildlife 41

Wildlife 41

A talented 'vocal' impala,
Was deemed by his peers a bit "Ga-Ga"
But he said "I'm a singer!"
Then gave them the finger
And went on to perform in La Scala!!

Poem Details | by Tim Riding |
Categories: animal, funny,

Wildlife 40

Wildlife 40

A goat who lived down on the farm,
Was renowned for her good looks and charm,
But she felt rather silly,
When she bumped into Billy,
Who leapt up in utter alarm.

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: confusion, identity,

Tough Question

Everyone teased him, thought Sean was prissy
His mean roommates even called him 'Missy'
  Did Sean feel abused?
  Not at all! He mused:
What am I? ~ A sissy or a cissy?!

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, word play,

WISTED TURDS





My neighbour loves Pete Smockerella, She boasted that he's a fart smeller, Oops she got it wrong, Poor Pete doesn’t pong, She really meant he’s a smart fella! 10/26/20

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: blessing,

Smokin' Roots



Programs bout extraterrestrials are really a hoot They're always my favourites without a dispute Some say it's fantasy To me it's reality Could it possibly be coz I'm smokin' roots

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: happy,

Happy As A Clam



What's all this about, why are we here Time's much too short till we all disappear We're having so much fun Many challenges to be won We're happy as clams, year after year

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: silly,

I get all Ferschemmled



Y'all think I'm this handsome young devil Got news for you all, haven't been on the level Got quite a large tummy Momma dresses me funny When girls touch my hoohaw, I get all ferschemmeled

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: animal, fantasy, music,

'Baby T'

God had blessed baby tyrannosaurus
Much more than allo or stegosaurus
   Baby T played piano
   She even sang soprano ~
Formed the sweetest a cappella chorus

Poem Details | by Tim Riding |
Categories: animal, funny,

Wildlife 39

Wildlife 39

A rampant and agile young filly,
Was blatantly acting quite silly,
A young colt cried "Neigh!"
"Now just stay away!"
"And get your hoof off of my willie!!"

Poem Details | by Tim Riding |
Categories: bird, funny,

Wildlife 38

Wildlife 38

A cocky young rooster called Ken
Was strutting around in the pen
The head **** said "oi! "
"Y'er only a boy"
"So get y'er eyes off'a that hen!

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

Global Warming

Jan's Vicar loves raspberry art*
As much as an hot apple tart
Bit Jan is the judge
So give her a nudge
When the horse blows before the cart!

*aka  Flatulence staccato

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: age,

Got Wrinkles On My Wrinkles



Almost eight-six, that's over the hill But the Highland Fling, I'm able to do still As my kilt flips up One can see I'm no pup Got wrinkles on my wrinkles, heading downhill

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: farewell,

Still Got Grass To Mow



Things that used to be easy as pie Are now a struggle, even my shoes to tie Am I nearing the end Maybe flowers you should send But still got some limericks before saying goodbye

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: imagination,

Where Have I Been



Great pick-up line “Where have I been all your life?” That's a reason for concern but should break the ice Guarantees further contact Perhaps sexual combat So what am I doing here on bended knee

Poem Details | by Tania Kitchin |
Categories: fun, humor,

Mars at Halloween

Mars loved to celebrate Halloween night
Not needing a costume was his delight
A green alien from outer space
Had costume parties at his place
No one ever knew he was a real fright

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: 10th grade, 11th grade, 12th grade,

College Girls Gave Up Too Soon

Louella Cindy and pretty Vee,
Went  out to the park for the boys to see
None came all day
Isn’t that just the way?
They gave up and went home at ten ‘til three.


Poem Details | by Daisy Ward |
Categories: happy, holiday,

HOLIDAY FEAST

The table was beautifully set
When the family walks in upset
Knocks the turkey on the floor
Food thrown against the door
Now their living with lots of regret

Poem Details | by Daisy Ward |
Categories: cat, halloween, happy,

BLACK CAT

The old women found a black cat
That changed into a large bat
Took her high up in the air
Then slung her by the hair
Into a machine that made her turn flat


Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: political,

Jitters

Donald Trump chooses lies and schemes
For clouds are the stuff of daydreams
But he has no plan
To improve lifespan
As he loves to hear voters' screams!

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: wind,

LET US PRAY

Our vicar her first name is Cindy When preaching bad nerves make her windy Sermons last half an hour Foul farts make us cower Her Christian name should have been Sindy 10/24/20

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: violence,

A Violent Sneeze



The best thing in life is a really good sneeze Explodes with such ferocity, it brings down trees Actually thrills me no end Torn undies it does rend Makes a hurricane seem like a gentle wee breeze

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

Toy Boat



Say “TOY BOAT” a bunch of times in a row Bet you can only say it a few, the number will be low A tongue twister for sure Be surprised more than four You'll be tied up in knots, but hopefully it won't show

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: love,

Architect



Architect of my dreams has always been you My main reason for living, my shining jewel With passion, I write Late into the night Searching for words, our sweet love to fuel

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: autumn, beautiful, celebration, cheer up, fun, giggle, humor,

Vegetarian Tale

Charlotte Carrot was her name
But she's not the one to blame.
For a grocer came to town
And in greeting lacked a noun,
So a veggie brought her fame.

Poem Details | by Shirley Hawkins |
Categories: 10th grade,

Clerical Error

Patrick, an old country Pastor
Who's parish was getting hard to master
He performed christenings galore.
Last month forty-four.
He wished the women ran faster.


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