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Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Wendy Watson |
Categories: christmas, humor,

On fire for Christmas

Poor Santa Claus had such a fright
The open log fire was alight!
Descending the flue
The air turned quite blue;
His chestnuts were roasting that night!


22.11.19

'Holiday Themed Limerick Poetry Contest' sponsored by Tania Kitchin


Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

The Little Mermaid

The Mermaid of Copenhagen*
Reportedly lost her noggin
Sans bikini top
A vigilant cop
Suggested Ilene go joggin'

*Den Lille Havfrue, København

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: dedication,

Bashing Your Head



Heard that bashing your head against a wall Feels good especially when you stop if you don't fall Passing out is a negative Heads are quite sensitive Pretend that it don't hurt and try hard not to bawl

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

Joey From Friends



Joey from Friends was my favorite of all He was the guy who made me on the floor sprawl He had a real knack His humor he'd crack Usually making me bounce off the wall


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

Love Octopus Style



Imagine having eight arms and three hearts Like an octopus, don't know where to start We learn a new skill First time, what a thrill Making love with eight arms and three hearts

Poem Details | by Shirley Hawkins |
Categories: 10th grade,

Rubbish

A brand new rubbish bin
Did not have anything in
This suited it fine
Would like to decline
Being used, as it would be a sin

Poem Details | by Shirley Hawkins |
Categories: 10th grade,

Hard To Swallow

I have a doctor named Bill
I visit when feeling ill
He prescribes lotions
Copious pills and potions
That made me feel worse still

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor,

It Happens

The tenor Sir Randy Longdong
Knew something was dreadfully wrong
When over his belt
A serpent would pelt
The heroine singing her song

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy, appreciation,

Meet At God's Feet and What a Treat

Meet At God's Feet and What a Treat

Again, what we do is must meet,
And we will find glory at His feet;
Bible we read,
To last shred,
Then was great and glorious treat.

Jim Horn


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: history,

Ancient Structures



Structures from antiquity have intrigued me no end How they achieved such feats I can't comprehend Moving mammoth stones Caused grunts and groans Must have taken superhuman strength, perhaps hemp

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: hilarious,

A Gaffe



Really love to make people laugh Especially when it's an “out-of-the-blue” gaffe Talking loud in an elevator Personal stuff for later Quite outrageous, life tickling my @$$

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: smile,

A Minute Of Silence



My watch stopped during a minute of silence Stood there for hours, was like a lecture on science Not that it was boring Spent my time snoring My watch alarm woke me, dreamt of nasty lions

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: 2nd grade, 3rd grade, 4th grade, 5th grade, 8th grade, 9th grade, animal,

If I was a Rocky Mountain Goat

If I was a Rocky Mountain Goat
I would wear a furry overcoat.
I would walk rocks
Ignore all clocks
And jump off cliffs onto river boats.


Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: 2nd grade, 3rd grade, 4th grade, 5th grade,

I have Vitamin C in Droves

British found oodles of Vitamin C
In a place unknown by you and me.
Rose hip jam
That’s right ma’am.
During World War Two kept children healthy.



Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: bird, silly, thanksgiving,

Big Bird

A famous TV star is called 'Big Bird'
At Thanksgiving he's at a loss for words --
   His fellow birds are eaten
   Down is his spirit beaten --
What eight-foot canary is not absurd?


          November 20, 2019 
 Holiday Themed Limerick Poetry Contest
         Sponsor: Tania Kitchin

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: school,

Old-fashioned School Shooting

A streaker with great bouncing balls
Ran up and down our High School halls
Our cheerleaders said
Their faces were red
But they act on all sporting calls

Poem Details | by Shirley Hawkins |
Categories: 10th grade,

Don't Poke

Some people like to poke
Other people, they think it's a joke
If you poke back
They give you a smack
Another friendship goes up in smoke!

Poem Details | by Shirley Hawkins |
Categories: 10th grade,

Desiree

Desiree was extremely rich
Had everything one could desire
Until a boy named Tom
With a home-made bomb
Set Desiree's house on fire!

Poem Details | by Maurice Rigoler |
Categories: humor,

Almost a Limerick


Ladies, here’s advice I simply can’t
hold back, and conscience says I shan’t:
If you plan to don your “tini”
frame in a racy, hot bikini,
be aware: a strip of cloth that scant
wasn’t designed for the overabundant.

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: silly,

Waiting Rooms



Waiting rooms are the worst by far Avoiding the stares of others we stare at the floor So uncomfortable Others also vulnerable Some are sweating bullets, others snore

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humor,

Yuk Yuks



You must be careful if you really don't know Where you're going cuz you might miss the show You paid big bucks At famous YukYuks Laughed so hard, peed your panties, hope it don't snow

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

Wait A Second



There are 31,556,926 seconds in a day So when we say, “wait a second” here's what we're saying In actual time It's time to dine Dinner will be here in 1/31,556,926th of a day, okay?

Poem Details | by Luke Hobbs |
Categories: humorous, irony, literature, muse, poetry, tribute, writing,

Lear's Limerick

There once was a poet from London,
Whose verses often veered t’word a pun,
He suffered the asthma,
Had anemic plasma,
So paper and ink summed up his fun 

Poem Details | by Shirley Hawkins |
Categories: 10th grade,

Flora

Flora bought a new fur coat
It was made from stoat
She craved for a mink
And was wise enough to think
That possibility remote

Poem Details | by Shirley Hawkins |
Categories: 10th grade,

Ned

Ned had a very long nose
When he bent over it touched his toes
Ned looked a freak
People would shriek
Pleased they didn't have one of those

Poem Details | by Shirley Hawkins |
Categories: 10th grade,

Rover

Rover the dog got stuck in a bog
When searching for a bone
As he was sinking
He started thinking
He wished he had a phone

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

We Went to Each Event

We Went to Each Event

By God we were sent to each event;
Had enjoyed it when there we went,
And map read;
To Him lead,
After He explained what this meant.

Jim Horn


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

We Vowed To See a Shroud

We Vowed To See a Shroud

What we vowed was to see a shroud;
It once had been among a big crowd;
Body cover;
Birds hover;
Now found floating in a nebulas cloud.

Jim Horn


Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: satire,

There was a young girl from Marsay

There was a young girl from Marfee
Her nickname was young cute blondie.
Teeth were all rotted
Men were all sotted
She's a firm forty-two double dee.

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: humorous, woman,

She Prattled At 25 MPH With Gusts Up To Ninety

There was once a lady named Babs Bower

   Who lived 'cross town on a street called Tower

      She could talk you to death

         Not coming up for breath

            Gabbed with gusts up to ninety miles per hour

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: society,

2020 View

The hunk who is heading your way
Is not hoping you want to play
He just wants your phone
So all that you own
Is his at the end of the day!

Poem Details | by Michelle Faulkner |
Categories: cute, dog, holiday, pets,

All I Want for Christmas

All I want from Christmas Eve reindeer
A basset hound puppy to revere
With a Rudolph nose
To elf size she grows
Jingle bell stepping on her own ears!

11/19/19

For 'Holiday Themed Limerick' contest
Sponsor:  Tania Kitchin

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Illness Then Loneliness and Stillness

Illness Then Loneliness and Stillness

Seemed so sick from  a severe illness,
While she would suffer with loneliness,
And off carried;
In grave buried;
Died and what remained was stillness.

Jim Horn


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Jesus In Cradle Laid

Jesus In Cradle Laid

Together choir great music made,
While Jesus in His cradle had laid;
Fast or slow,
Sing a solo,
Or in harmony had been singing.

James Horn



Poem Details | by Curtis Moorman |
Categories: christmas, thanksgiving, winter,

Holiday Gladness

HOLIDAY GLADNESS

They each come just once a year
Bringing us joy and good cheer
Thanksgiving and Christmas Day
Chase the Winter Blues away
When Christmas carols we hear

19 November 2019
For the contest sponsored by Tania Kitchin


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