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Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by PAT Adams |
Categories: judgement, perspective, religion,

Devine Retaliation

He abused women then just left them flat
Pushed from a roof to the ground he went splat
At Gods feet he'd say,
"Forgive me I pray!"
But she replied, "Oh, It's too late for that!"


Poem Details | by William Kekaula |
Categories: allegory, analogy, character, death, fate, meaningful, money,

FOOLS PAY HIGHLY



Greed holds a vice of severity, A lure of assured prosperity,
Innocent made complexed, Sensible made perplexed,
His death folks snubbed his calamity.
Date: 08/24/2019

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

Toidies



The sign outside the public washroom read “Toilets” Uh, I'm afraid that should have read “Toidies” instead How childish is that And loopy I might add The funnest days were from three to the many days ahead

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: emotions,

A Woman's Cleavage



A man's ability to think is related to the sight of a woman's cleavage Reduces a man's ability to think by as much as 50% per boob, no secret Genetics are used As drools doth ooze Can't think of anything, maybe apple pie, that would cause such disablement


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: science,

We Are Not Alone



Other civilizations on other heavenly bodies Are looking for life in the universe with similar jollies Do we think we're alone Not a chance, it's well known The odds are nil, had this theory since the talkies

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humorous,

The Chosen One



And I thought I was the chosen one... WRONG Someone else was ahead of me in the line all along This disturbeth me muchly Someone more smugly Thought I was the smugeth ahead of the throng

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: animal,

Dolphins



Dolphins are so smart they convince the foolish To stand at the side of the pool and throw them fish A bonanza it is Even those with arthritis Can't resist the free stuff, the battle is fierce

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

Mud, Slop And Eleanor



There were three little piggies, Mud, Slop and Eleanor Mud and Slop usually covered in poop while Eleanor was demure Hanging out with well-to-do piggies The ones known as the “pretties” A misnomer for sure, but Eleanor had piggie allure

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Would Climbed Walls of Canyon

Would Climbed Walls of Canyon

We would climb walls of a canyon;
God did chose us to be companion;
Us together;
Any weather,
As well as Him being our champion.

Jim Horn

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humorous,

When I Bend Over



At my age, I make a noise when I bend over It's the law but quite embarrassing, even for Rover He barks when he farts Pretends it's from another yard Us humans shift our eyes, pretend we're not the owner

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: life,

Life's Highway



We're all destined for the pine box one day It's what we do with the time in between, yeah or neigh Traveling the right road Lightens the heavy load If you were me, you've enjoyed life's highway

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: sad,

Retardment



Retardiment is when you make new friends every day Coz you don't remember any of them from yesterday Now that's damn funny A choice doesn't apply Their brains, without warning, have slipped into decay

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Found God In A Fabulious Field

Found God In A Fabulious Field

We had found God in a fabulous field,
Who always liked and to us appealed;
Each moment,
Message sent;
He was there and to Him we did yield.

Jim Horn


Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: dance, fun,

The Latest Dance

There was a pretty young maiden from France
Much too modest to try the latest dance --
   She got some advice
   It worked in a trice -- 
Let loose an ant colony down her pants

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Winds Blow Weeping Willow

Winds Blow Weeping Willow

Ship moves as the sails will billow;
Beside river was a weeping willow;
Down yonder,
Grew fonder;
Had dreamed with head on pillow.

Jim Horn




Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

An Oppportunity for Unity

An Oppportunity for Unity

Never turn the results into a mutiny;
Can make them into an opportunity;
Take advantage of;
Then truly love,
And utilize things to promote unity.

Jim Horn

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Giving Moron Break Was Big Mistake

Giving Moron Break Was Big Mistake

May have been giving moron big break,
And what we made was terrible mistake;
Another error,
By the terror;
Trump even did found news to be fake.

Jim Horn

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Gold Finch Had Gone

Gold Finch Had Gone

What we did was find ourselves flinch,
When we had smelled all of the stench; 
All so terrible, 
And unbearable; 
Gold finch had gone all over the bench.

Jim Horn

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: emotions,

Like A Lost Bunny



We are living in the land of milk and honey But with prices these days, it really ain't funny Watching our pennies Every month if any Counting on one hand, weeping like a wee bunny

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: allusion,

A Cabin In The Woods



Who would want to build a cabin in the woods Realizing we're competing with 7 billion sharing the goods A cabin in obscurity Doesn't provide security Too many could take advantage, these human wolves

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: image,

Arianna Grande



I'm not a fan of today's music scene BUT if you've never heard Ariana Grande sing You're in for a treat Pure voice so complete A glorious songbird you'll know what I mean

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Had Been Suffering from the Heat

Had Been Suffering from the Heat

We had been suffering from all the heat,
And on the shore you could find our feet,
In the sand,
Covering land,
While there would meet incoming fleet.

Jim Horn


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Temptation Off Had Often Fought

Temptation Off Had Often Fought

Temptation off had often fought,
And not only that in was caught;
Fell into trap;
Memory gap;
Anxiety and fear on it brought.

Jim Horn




Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Did Discover A Long Huge Dock

Did Discover A Long Huge Dock

We did discover a long huge dock,
Which was big as entire city block;
Here and there,
And everywhere,
That had left us in a state of shock.

Jim Horn


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Have Found Each Fault

Have Found Each Fault

Once you will have found each fault,
Then brought their causes to a halt;
Forever on,
And gone;
God knowingly, gladly surely do exalt.

Jim Horn

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: anxiety,

Clowns Taste Funny



Wanna know why cannibals don't eat clowns They taste funny if they're wearing clown gowns Something new every day They're fun and like to play But eventually, their smile turns into a frown

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

The Little Room Down The Hall



No matter the fame we achieve in life Visiting that little room down the hall will avoid strife Sometimes in a hurry Might even call it a scurry Some days, you may be forced to visit thrice

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: space,

ASSteroids



Wonder why there's only one “S” in asteroid If an ASSteroid hit is more likely cause your undies to soil ASSteroids... get it Right on the edgy A topic for mixed company you should try to avoid

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: humorous, poetry,

A Struggling Poet

There was once a struggling poet named Hicks

   Who tried to write poems just for the kicks

      'Tho he tried from time to time

          He couldn't find words that rhyme

            So he settled for writing limericks

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: humorous, religion,

Parson Ezra Heap

Once there was a parson named Ezra Heap

   Whose Sunday sermons were profoundly deep

      The louder Ezra implored

         The more his congregants snored

            He could never arouse them from their sleep

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Make Mine a Moral Equivalent

Make Mine a Moral Equivalentn

Do make mine moral equivalent,
Which to all we shall have sent,
And not pun;
Equally done,
Hoping money will be well spent.

Jim Horn


Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

People Than Parties With Politics

People Than Parties With Politics

Are people having parties with politics,
Which is way that they get their kicks;
Moans and groans,
And horrible tones,
While time on clock continually ticks.

Jim Horn


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: funny,

Slapstick



Accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of chapstick As a result, she isn't talking to me, no matter what subject I pick That'll shut her up Her lips got stuck She'll heal in a month or two, this humor is called slapstick

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: pride,

The Human Race



Support humanity because we're all one race Yup, the human race, sorry to say, we're a big disgrace Not proud of moving forward What to expect, it's kinda awkward Faith in humanity, this belief I embrace

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: angst, sad,

Calorie Counting



Entered what I ate today in my fitness quest Heard a siren, an ambulance approached from the west They didn't waste time It's not a good sign Perhaps next I weigh myself, my clothes I'll divest


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