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Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: america, culture,

Portland 2020

Millie Tarry popped a balloon
But it popped a little too soon
The sudden noise
Upset some boys
Who were blowing up The Tribune


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: silly,

A Lollapalooza



Here's a cool word, it's a “lollapalooza” From ancient times just like “zippity-doo-da” You young'uns have yours But old folks more mature Have our own cool lingo like a gum called Bazooka

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: funny,

Need The Latrine



Trying to get back to some kind of routine My body's all aching and I need the latrine System's all screwed Don't want to be crude But the contents of my bladder could fill a ravine

Poem Details | by Paul Schneiter |
Categories: age, sexy,

Wood Pecker

Joe Bryson enjoyed playing the fiddle
he also liked to snuggle and diddle.
He too soon got old,
his love life turned cold
and what was once hard turned brittle.


Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: betrayal,

Its Hymn

If Donald J. Trump is a saint
God knows just whatever he ain't
Trump knows every sin
And where to begin
Its enough to make Judas faint!

Poem Details | by Indiana Shaw |
Categories: angst,

Balls Ahoy

BALLS AHOY

There was a clumsy juggler from Kildare
Who chucked his balls without a care
One landed on someone's head
Now the poor guy is laid in bed 
Cursing the juggler, a total nightmare

Indiana Shaw . . . : /

Poem Details | by Joanna Feltham |
Categories: brother, family, sister,

Sibblings

Dynamics are up in the air
The load is just too much to bear
We are constantly beefing
I need a family meeting

I'm running away with the fair

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

The Bottom Line



Really can't believe my good fortune This tale I'll do my best to shorten The real bottom line Was her yummy behind It definitely relieved my damn boredom

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: silly,

A Bit Of A Quack



In August of the year nineteen thirty-five A soul was born, some say a genius did arrive His name was Jack A bit of a quack Since then, his mind seems a wee bit deprived

Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: humor,

The Bride of Frankenstein's Crop

She planted at night in the rain
While stealthily plotting her gain
It grew like a "melon"
She bragged like a felon,
"My hubby soon gets his first brain!"




Just a sample for my "Mystery Seeds" contest.

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: health,

The Pain in my Ouchie


I deplore the physician named Fauci.

His opinions are making me grouchy.

Goggles next we should wear?

In his office I'd dare

not let him observe my mere ouchie.


Aug. 8, 2020
with a nod to Rico; thanks for inspiring me to write this.


Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: school, teacher,

Back 2 School

Donald Trump says kids are immune
So classrooms must open - and soon!
If teachers die
We all know why:
Trump gets his facts from a cartoon!

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

Her Knickers On My Head



Houdini was a master of illusion it's said Escaping from handcuffs while chained to a bed Like the sex games we play When our partner must obey Wearing a mask and her knickers on my head

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: love,

A Lady Named Liz



Once new an Aussie gal named Liz Who always knew which way to give More than routine This sex machine Freaked out each time at the sight of her biz

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

A Twenty-Seven Hour Day



Wonder if I ask politely, the great powers that be Would increase the day's hours by just two or three Not asking for much My heart would be touched Right now there's not even time for a pee

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: humorous,

She Kept 'Em In Stitches

She was a jolly seamstress Miss Gritches

     Who was a whiz at patchin' men's britches

          And alterin' ladies skirts

                And sewin' buttons on shirts

                     'Twas said she kept her patrons in 'stitches'

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: lust,

Coquette

An handyman named Warren Peace
Was led astray by Auntie's niece
As a matter of fact
They were caught in the act
And her dad is Chief of Police

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: destiny,

Happy Jack's Dark Side



Jacko has a dark side as well as one of fun He laid out too long in the hot sizzling sun Didn't turn over Got over exposure White in front but dark on his bum

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: funny,

His Willy Had Influenza



A long time ago in a land far away Lived a shy young fellow, quite awkward they say So shy with the fillies He pretended his willy Had influenza and couldn't come out to play

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: 3rd grade, 4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade, 7th grade, 8th grade, 9th grade,

Frost and Thoreau Go on a Walk

Frost and Thoreau were going for a walk.
Frost said I can make a poem from a sock.
Thoreau laughed hard
At this braggish bard
Published a poem from this crazy small talk.


Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: crazy, humor,

Country Solly's Back Massage

Country Solly needed a back massage
Strolled up to his local car wash garage --
  Said, "I'm Sol, God of Solar,"
  He laid down on those rollers --
Sol emerged dead ~ Holy Roller Barrage

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous,

SHE'S MAKING THE BREAST OF IT


 

Poor Petra has never been blessed with boobies - (she’s got a flat chest) She pleads and she begs Just grow (darn fried eggs) A padded bra boosts them the best! 08/06/20

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: sports,

Sports Cast

Cancelling our football season
Appears tantamount to treason
If players can't play
They still need their pay
Which, of course, is beyond reason!

Poem Details | by Daisy Ward |
Categories: fun, humorous,

DOPE

The man thought his outfit was dope
Circus clothes worn from a tight rope
Laughter was all he heard
Wished that he was a bird
To fly away an not have to cope

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: war,

Hitler's Errors



Hitler made errors in judgement If not, his army might've been triumphant His downright arrogance Cost him by the evidence Imagine the impact of his misjudgement

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: beauty,

Like A Thunderstorm



Beauty in its simplest form Never can really be outperformed The basis of life It isn't a choice It's beyond words since being born

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: song,

Ode To Joy



Beethoven's Symphony Ode To Joy is like a pizza with pepperoni Smothered in mozzarella Made by an Italian fella Named Giovani and that's no baloney

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: sexy,

A Scanty Bit of Fluff

She is a scanty bit of fluff he said.
There she was. My eyes fell out of my head.
She wasn’t horrible.
More like adorable!
Wearing a satin sheet from someone’s bed….

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: beauty, giggle, girl, silly,

She Teases Farm Boys

Happy as a lark, they call her Lily
She teases farm boys, acting so silly
  Tells the corniest jokes
  The kind told by old folks
Lily's a pretty Hee-Haw Hillbilly





Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: loneliness,

Cabin Fever

A little house on the prairie
Was home to a virgin fairy
She lived with an elf
Who played with himself
All the way from Tipperary

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: giggle,

This Dog And Pony Shpw



Okay back to the funnies I promise to go A wee bit of frivolity, a few giggles or so We all need laughter And joy to the rafters To help us get through this dog and pony show

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: passion,

A Limerick Obsession



A limerick obsession is my ball and chain My body's all aching and racked with pain Can quit anytime So I mustn't whine I'll be singing and laughing and be normal again

Poem Details | by Alex Klugman |
Categories: irony,

Once upon, In the States, as you know

Once upon, In the States, as you know,
Lived the politic, named - Sleepy Joe.
It was hard to detect
In his speech intellect
Because Joe was extremely slow

Poem Details | by Alex Klugman |
Categories: body, motivation,

One man with a poor eye vision

One man with a poor eye vision,
Decided to undergo circumcision.
But he perform it himself
And, of course, not too well,
From the start it was amiss decision

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: 3rd grade, 4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade, 7th grade, 8th grade, animal,

I Will Come Back as a Hippo

Reincarnation is for me sublime.
I’ll be a hippopotamus next time.
They do not eat ants
They devour plants
African River is where I will dine.




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