Best Limerick Poems

These are some of the best limerick poems written by web poets on PoetrySoup.com.

See also: examples of limerick poems


Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: beautiful, character, dedication, humorous, life,

JAN ALLISON has a Fan

JAN HAS A FAN


Jan Has no Tan

I once saw a gal called Jan
So sexy she made me ran
Straight to the vicar
Said marry us quicker
Whilst she drank her tea on the can


She is as White as pure Sand

I once met a gal in white dress
I fell straight in love I must confess
She was drinking her tea
While I stared at her knee
Surely my intentions she guessed


She Sips Her Tea Daily

I once met a gal drinking Tea
My heart was pumping in glee
From her nose to her toes
When she smiled I froze
So charming I become a devotee

While I Admire Her so Gayly

When I saw the lady in the white dress
My thoughts she I did undress
As she gazed out the window
She caught peeking Jimbo
Who was in quite the state of distress


I am a fan of the great poet Jan

There once was a gal who could fart
She refined it into an art
Her white dress in a breeze
Would lift till you sneeze
But she’ll always be my sweetheart




Notes: I just realized the title, as far as Jan is concerned , well could have a double meaning!


Poem Details | by Anne Currin |
Categories: metaphor,

Looks Can Be Deceiving

There was a young girl whose silk skin
Was sewn up with some thread and a pin.
     It would drive the men mad,
     That sleek layer she had,
Well, until she took off her silk skin.

By Anne Currin


Poem Details | by Judith Angell Meyer |
Categories: funny, imagination, song-lyric,

His funeral

That he planned his funeral is factual
And being a prankster quite actual
He prerecorded his voice
So when we kneeled on the joist
He said, "Hi there! Don't I look natural."


Poem Details | by SKAT A |
Categories: abuse, betrayal, confusion, how i feel, lost, rude, sad,

The Contest

(The Contest)

I once knew a gentle poet boy
Pretending to be the real McCoy
   He lost two in a row
   This is no game show
At the end, I felt used by the playboy


(The cold rain)

I wish I could take back the HM
Don't know why you chose to condemn
   I thought we were friends
   Now I see through crystal lens,
How you think all your poems are a top gem

(Not a reason to hate)

I once knew a girl with heavy makeup
Behind her smile, her face was corrupt 
   She was in it for the race
   Wanting all her poems to place
She did not win, now she's all worked up
    


SKAT


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: spring,

SPRING FORWARD

In spring time fresh flowers are rising New lambs in the fields – not surprising In every hedgerow and tree Lush beauty will surround me It’s heaven; there is no disguising 02~16~15 Contest: Spring Forward -Debbie Guzzi Syllables checked 9 9 7 7 9


Poem Details | by RALPH TAYLOR |
Categories: funny

GIMME A BRAKE

A UFO went to land in Dakota
But the brakes didn't work one iota.
        It didn't take long
        to decide what was wrong
seems the space ship was made by Toyota!


Poem Details | by Casarah Nance |
Categories: fun, valentines day, proposal,

To the POETS who broke my heart-A thru Z

~Arthur Vaso~

He danced on hearts and graves
I became his words slave
Romantic a wink,
and I start to think
for me his bleeding heart raves.


~Lyric Man~

You fiddle a melody
that I know not meant for me
I can't help but smile
in romantic denial
your lyrics are my poetry


~Sebastian Aaron Baez~

Tongue like sexual honey
Writing right on the money
but so far away
and there will you stay
because you thought my proposal was funny


~Tim Smith~

All knows we played a game or two,
And you left me right out of the blue
There is no jealousy
coming from me
since I know that your honesty is true


~Adam Hunter~

So close but yet still far
I know just who you are
You're on my list
Yet you resist
Next round, you buy at the bar


~Richard Lamoureux~

Your words are so really real,
Your truth are the real deal
commitment on your finger
made for a real stinger
your a great guy that makes me feel.


Now its time to break all hearts in return
For you all my sweetest men, poetically I burn.
Keep on writing because you rule
and your souls are just dang cool.
Together let us all love laugh and learn! :)
Love you all my soup guys and gals :) Mwah
Happy Valentines day!!

For Contest: A valentine limmerick


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

HE'S SMOKIN'

Sir Henry was playing his flute He also was smoking cheroot But when his attire Was soon caught on fire I’m guessing he’s not so astute! 04~18~15 Contest: Famous Einstein Quotes – John Freeman Albert Einstein Quote ‘The only source of knowledge is experience’ ~awarded 1st place~


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: journey, life,

The Arc Of Life



Travelling through life resembles an arc We start out as a child emerging from the dark To reach a crescendo Establishing a tempo Then sadly we all must eventually disembark © Jack Ellison 2015


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: humor,

Justice - A Parable

A woman gave birth to a son
named Justice; he had little fun.
If he wanted to play,
his mama would say,
“But only when Justice is done!”

Poor Justice, from morning till night,
tried hard to do everything right.
By the end of the day,
he still could not play,
for his time to do chores was so tight!

His life was a crime with no play!
We all know that crime doesn’t pay.
But were I in his shoes,
having paid all my dues,
I think I might just run away.

Well, sure enough, Justice did flee
and ended up in Tennessee.
With no place to belong,
he felt sad till along
came a girl who smiled tenderly.

Looking ragged, he asked (with some shame)
if the young girl would tell him her name.
“Can you guess?” said the Miss.
“Here’s a clue. It is this. . . 
Those who have me don’t take all the blame.”

The young man did not have a clue
what her name was; it was all new.
He’d never hear of
- yet soon grew to love -
this girl  and her charming name too.

Today Justice likes more his life
because this girl lessens his strife.
He learned her name well
when in love he fell
and Mercy he took for a wife!

For the Story Poem Contest Poetry Contest of Carol Eastman


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: farm, humorous, sexy,

MARY IN THE DAIRY

A curvaceous lady named Mary Just loved having sex in the dairy When smothered with whipped cream Her beau would lick her clean… His Calorie intake was scary!!! 14th June 2016


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: appreciation, giving, humorous, poetry, thanks,

A GIFT OF A LIFETIME - TO END ON SATURDAY MARCH 20TH 2077

I’ve received an incredible gift It has given my heart such a lift But the date that I see Is what now concerns me – It’s the date I no longer exist!!! Today I was gifted a 'lifetime' premium membership but it is somewhat disconcerting to see it ends on 3/20/2077. I hope TPS aren't psychic!!!! My mother's great great aunt lived to 111 and 121 days and was in the Guinness book of records - I hope I am around a long long time to make full use of this incredible gift. 14th October 2016


Poem Details | by Tim Smith |
Categories: for her,

Trump and the Beaver - For Jan

Out in the woods Trump took a nap Under an oak dripping of sap pants to his knees what a big sleaze Fresh beaver still caught in his trap
*I do not endorse this message and no actual beavers were hurt in this poem


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny

GROWING Together

After six months of living with you
I found it amazing how we grew
     As the passion seemed to fade
     The worst signs of this charade
Were the clothes I couldn’t fit into

Lovemaking’s a form of exercise
And then when it stopped, what a surprise
     I asked you if I looked fat
     You said, “There’s no truth in that”
As you consumed even more French fries

But the doctor’s scale would tell no lies
Some 25 pounds my weight did rise
     Still you refused to believe
     Just continued to deceive
Till friends noted YOUR increasing size



By Carolyn Devonshire
For Judy’s “Short Poem Contest”


Poem Details | by JSLambert Mister ROBOTO |
Categories: allegory, fantasy, father, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, hope, husband, imagination, life, love, passion, people, places, romance, social, wife,

Viagra Falls

There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'

but when it got little 
his pills became skittles   
until he O.D.'d on Viagra

© ~JSLambert  2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: dog,

The Oscar Wiener Dog

A dachshund named Oscar was he, which adored trick or treating with me, so I had me some fun when I sewed a cloth bun, for a Halloween weenie he’d be. On his costume I added a trim mustard yellow, but though he’s not slim, he’s no Oscar Mayer, so don’t raise his ire by taking a bite out of him! For the Dachshunds contest of Rob Carmake(oops, that was CarMACK. haha)


Poem Details | by Robert A. Dufresne |
Categories: adventurefish, fishing,

A Farm Yarn

When we were young boys on our farm.
A fish tale never meant any harm,
We oft were given a look,
When from such a tiny brook,
We claimed a fish as long as your arm.

But then our neighbor named Meg,
Beat the fib and put us down a peg,
By claiming from the same brook,
With not a worm on her hook,
She caught a fish as long as your leg!

Well that truth was quite hard to beat,
Then Summer beat a hasty retreat. 
Winter changed the fishing world,
Meg turned from tomboy to girl.
And now this fishing tale is complete!




For John Freeman's "Fishing Limericks"


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, holiday

Valentine's Day Musings

All year long he puts my heart on a shelf
No surprise I’d rather be by myself
     If there’s no Valentine treat
     From this worthless hunk of meat
He can go on making love to himself

Remember there’s an “I” in Valentine
So if no one’s around to say, “Be mine”
     Just splurge – get a new hairdo
     Party with an all-girl crew
Check out the divorce rate and say, “I’m fine”




*For Francine's Valentine Limerick contest


Poem Details | by Kristin Carter |
Categories: imagination, life, nature, places,

I Met This Charming Moonbeam Last Night

The arms of the willow started to sway
and this curious glow rippled my way.
While flirting with my feet,
nature played a song so sweet.
The lake our dance floor 'til the sun's first ray.


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: character,

As Santa Leaves Slab City

Santa hasn’t drunk cocoa tonight,
and he’s not dressed in red trimmed with white.
In blue denim so cool,
he is toasting the Yule
with a drink surely not mixed with Sprite!

Santa’s drink was a little too red,
and I think we have something to dread,
for he’s now in the sky
and he’s flying “too high”
as his sleigh widely veers overhead.

For the Humor Contest of Carol Eastman

* Slab City is a snowbird campsite in the Colorado Desert in southeastern California, used by recreational vehicle owners and squatters from across North America. East Jesus is part of its artistic community.


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: girlfriend-boyfriend

Rock Paper Scissors

Rock Girl

You are scissors, and all you can do is to cut all those paper hearts through. But I’ve hardened my heart and before you can start to destroy me, I’m going to SMASH you!
(Gosh, PD, they won't even permit the ~sign in the title!)


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funnywine,

Boozer Not a Loser

A billionaire, he knew each wine by name

Todd Worthington of inheritance fame

      Blindfolded he taste-tested

     Fans watched so interested

Until a street boozer put him to shame


Fred stumbled in, challenged Todd to a race

Though Fred was not skilled in fine social grace

     Drank Todd under the table

     Todd out cold, Fred was able

To acquire high society’s embrace



Written June 18, 2011 
for Francine’s “Bottle of Wine (Fruit of the vine, when...” contest”


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: celebrity, funny,

Beatle Mania

Beatlemania (The Fab Four As Lovers) Once a choir boy, John turned to romance, Fell for Yoko almost at first glance. In full public view In bed with her too - Showed the world how to “give peace a chance.” Quiet George played much more than guitar. Lost his wife to another rock star. Layla left him because Of how hung up he was On the music he made with his sitar! Ringo acted in “Caveman” and met His wife Barb (once a Bond girl) on set. Though the film of this drummer Was dumber than dumber, Wise in love, he’s not left his Barb yet! A heart breaker, Paul left Wife "One" For Linda, and made her a vegan! On their farm smoking pot, They made money (a LOT)! He’s a genius whose life sure seems fun! written Oct. 13, 2013 for the BeatleMania Contest of Rhonda Johnson-Saunders


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny, dance, fire, dance, fire, cousin,

My Big Fat Cousin's Wedding

My favorite cousin named Marge is almost as big as a barge. So one would assume, not knowing the groom, the guy would most likely be large. But he was a small man named Tim “As thin as a broom” describes him. While Marge would guffaw, Tim would watch her with awe and just smile for he was so prim! When the preacher addressed him and said, “You may now kiss the bride,” Tim turned red, for their lips could not meet. With high heels on her feet, Marge stood towering over his head. She leaned down while Tim stood on his toes, but for being in such a strange pose, Marge then came toppling down crushing Tim neath her gown while the whole church erupted in “Ohhhhh’s.” All was well, and thereafter, we ate; then we planned next to dance until late. But none could foresee the small tragedy that had us all leaving by eight! Marge had tossed off her heels for a glide on the dance floor, but when they both tried to dance, Tim got snagged by that dang gown and dragged as his bride was beginning to slide. . . Now shoeless, poor Marge could not stop. Toward a table with candles on top, they slid, and the groom then set fire to the room by landing with a belly flop. Poor Tim by the candles got lit, and we were all having a fit, for the fire got spread fast till the Best Man at last got us all wet extinguishing it! Inspired by the title of the movie: My Big Fat Greek Wedding & : Joann Grisetti's "My Cousin's Wedding" Poetry contest


Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: funny, science,

Big Bang

Your theory makes quite the impression
But I have this nagging obsession
A huge mass of matter
Explodes in a scatter
This is a layman's dumb question...

From whence came this gigantic ball?
Just how did the whole thing befall?
What was there before that?
And before even that?
And so on and so forth, et.al...

Blank space, only vacuum you say?
Endless void? Flat nothing? Okay...
Is nothing just nothing,
Or ain't nothing something
And what made the nothing I pray?


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

HAPPINESS

There once was a young man called Rodger Who's very transfixed with his todger From morning till night He gets his delight Now he shares his bed with his lodger 29 ~12~14


Poem Details | by Sean Kelly |
Categories: funny

We'll meat again .

The  deli-girl  fumed  and  was  swearing 
At  the  Frenchman's  request , so  uncaring .
"Sir  you  are  the  dregs
NO !!  I don't  have  frogs  legs .
It's  these  5 inch  high  heels that  I'm  wearing ".


He  said  " that pigs head  looks  so  meek ".
His short  shiny  snout  oh  so sleek .
But  to  her  surprise ,
He said  "leave  in  the  eyes .
It's  gotta  see  me thro'  the  week ".



Inspired by the talented pen of M/S Guzzi and her " Bull O Ney " , rhyme , for the double 
limerick contest ..


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories:

The Tale of Billy Bob Bunny

When Billy Bob Bunny turned one, his mama said, “Listen up, son. I’m sure you could get away from a net, but beware the guy bearing a gun! If a gun-toting farmer you see, you must hip hop away instantly. If he has good aim, you might end up lame or worse yet, rabbit stew you will be. So do please, Billy Bob, take good care that you don’t end up being the hare that loses his life so Farmer Jack’s wife has a soft rabbit stole she can wear!” But it wasn’t Billy Bob’s habit to listen to his Mama Rabbit. Without using good sense, he hopped over the fence, saw a carrot and started to grab it. Farmer Jack spied that rascal. Oh, my! From a gun, bullets started to fly. When a shot nicked his ear, Billy fell down from fear. Then he heard a small sound like a cry. “Please don’t shoot at the bunny again,” cried the farmer’s sweet daughter, and then Billy could feel her stroking his soft fur, and at night he was placed in a pen. Mama came to the pen and she said, “You are trapped. I’m just glad you’re not dead.” Though no freedom he had, Billy Bob was not sad. “I’m a loved pet,” he said, “and well fed!” The moral of this story is: You can tolerate any condition as long as you are loved and well fed!


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny,

A Funny Zoo Limerick for Kids

A struggle ensued at the zoo

when King Lion met Jack Kangaroo.

Leo tried to attack,

but Jack fired right back:

"Are you crazy, Cat? I know Kung Fu!"


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

JUICY FRUIT

A busty young lady from Peel Her boobies she couldn't conceal They were such a huge size That she won a first prize For the fruit men most wanted to feel 7th April 2015 I made a bit of a boob on the 2nd line - thanks Paul Callus for your advice


Poem Details | by Mary Nagy |
Categories: angst, daughter, family, funny, happiness, life, love, car,

Princess Needs A New Car

Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '

'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust! 
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.

'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much, 
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'! 

Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny

A "Brush" with Horror

Forget to brush; must maintain that gleam
Run to sink, grab a tube, no light stream
     Such an odd taste in my mouth
     Quickly I must spit it out
Oh, dear Lord, it’s Dad’s hemorrhoid cream!


(Sadly, a true story)


Poem Details | by Sandra Haight |
Categories: earth, growth, spring,

Spring Forward

Spring Forward


A helical "Slinky" type coil
Compresses or springs without toil,
It’s spiral at times,
Or stretched to the nines...
Like worms that are happy in soil!

Beneath or on top of the ground,
They stretch, but so often lie wound,
Their tunnels air earth
To make healthy dirt
And seedlings are glad they’re around!


© Sandra M. Haight 2015 
   All Rights Reserved

~2nd Place~
Contest: Spring Forward
Sponsor: Debbie Guzzi
Judged: 03/09/2015


Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: drink, humorous,

LUCIFER and HOOCH

LUCIFER'S gullet was as parched as hell!

   He said, "Lord, some cold HOOCH, would do me well!"

      Lord said, "In thy condition,

         Smoldering in perdition,

            Not a snowball's chance in the place ye dwell!"

Entry for Catie Lindsey's  "L&H Limericks" Contest 

Took First Place in the contest.


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: fish,

The Fisherwoman - For Contest

A desperate spinster, Jane took strong measures the day she would cook fresh trout. Her date bit the barb left in it! He truly was caught on her hook! 4/26/2015


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: memory,

Air Head

Don’t memorize things, Einstein said, if it’s easy to look up instead! I’ve got taped to my cell what I still don’t know well: My own number! Why clutter my head? This is a true story. From the quote below, I’d say Einstein’s “got my number!” “Never memorize something that you can look up.”


Poem Details | by Paul Callus |
Categories: fun, humor,

Ninja Girl

   On the Isle of Man lives a Ninja girl
   Daring in her act, makes your toesies curl
   She has a pretty face
   And sips her tea with grace
   Be not taken in – she’s no fragile pearl.


   ----------------------------------------------

   Sent with hugs by Lulu` Pascal


Poem Details | by Paul Callus |
Categories: word play,

Common Sense

Now I’m thinking, while sitting on a chair,
There is something that I would like to share
I fear my mind is dense
Can’t make out common sense
How come they call it common if it’s rare?

--------------------------------------------------
Quote: “Common sense is very uncommon” 
                    (Helen Gurley Brown)
            "Common sense is not so common"
                            (Voltaire)
--------------------------------------------------
Contest: Dumb and Dumber Personal quotes
Sponsor: John Freeman


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny, january, new year,

The Non-Resolver

I’ve been watching my weight since 14, but with all of the diets I’ve seen, they’ve become a big no-no. This here dieting yo-yo has stopped trying to be super lean! Other problems I’ll change as I go. I don’t need a New Year to say so! Said a wise sailor man: I yam what I yam! Why improve on a good thing - ya know? So the cause of the most bellyaching at this time of the year I’m forsaking. When you know yourself well. . . why then go through such hell! Resolutions I’ll never be making. For the the New Year's Resolution Poetry Contest of Regina Riddle


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: humorous,

Pot Head

There’s a poet who thinks we are not

such great writers, yet she’s not that hot!

What that smarty pants spoke

was like saying to coke,

“You’re illegal” when SHE’S like pure pot!


For the the Dumb and Dumber Personal quotes Poetry Contest

I always liked the expression "The pot calling the kettle black"
but because of its racial overtones, a guy did a blog in which 
a person identified as Celyn came up with this alternative more politically
correct quote: "Like the pot calling the coke illegal." It really struck
me as clever, and to me it went really well with this situation that I
describe in my limerick, which, sadly, I have seen more than just a 
time or two,  here at Soup.


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: anniversary, funnyhalloween,

Strut the Butt Jabba

On Halloween night I will strut Dressed like Jabba the Hut Many sweets I will eat As it is trick or treat And double the size of my butt


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: humorous,

One Mermaid's Lesson

A merman had one stubborn daughter who rebelled against what her dad taught her. When she swam to dry land, she could then understand she was just like a fish - out of water! For the Out of Water Poetry Contest of Sheri Fresonke Harper


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny

Dino

There once lived a gambler named Dino
who was terribly fond of vino.
Since he’d drink and play bad,
and lose all that he had,
he was loved at every casino.

But drunk as a skunk, that guy Dino
wreaked havoc one evening in Reno.
Now his vices he’s licked
after being drop-kicked
by a mafia guy named Gino.

Written June 18, 2011 
For Francine Robert's "Bottle of Wine" Contest


Poem Details | by RALPH TAYLOR |
Categories: funny

The Foreign Diplomat

While campaigning among South American civilians 

he got news of the death of three Brazilians

        He said he was vexed
        
        then he asked quite perplexed

just how many is a brazillion?


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: bio, humorous,

Limerick for Sensitive community - a pd contest

I once knew a poet named Andrea.

Assaulted by someone’s hysteria,

she wouldn’t engage,

but feeling some rage,

she fought all night long with insomnia.


(It's kinda true!!!)


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny

The Sundress Girl

Little Lulu, a cute little girl. in her sundresses loved to just twirl. Around she kept going, pink underpants showing. Her life would become one big “whirl.” In grade school, she grew to be wild. Upside down, in the playground, this child from the monkey bar hung in her sundress among all the boys standing round her, who smiled! As a teen, Lulu still loved to wear a sundress to make young men stare. She was thought a great sport when she wore a dress short, legs crossed as she sat in a chair. Little Lulu was so hot to trot her affection by many was sought till that cute buttercup got finally knocked up. Then a white wedding sundress she bought! The years crept up quickly on Lulu. On her porch she now stands and calls, “You-hoo!” to every old guy who might give her the eye as she twirls the huge skirt of her muumuu!
Written by Andrea Dietrich Inspired by the contest: "The Sundress" Sponsored by ~ Constance La France ~ A Rambling Poet ~~


Poem Details | by Sandra Haight |
Categories: appreciation, friend, poetess,

Jan Allison


Jan Allison


There is a great gal on our ‘Soup’
Renowned in our poetry group
She’s ready to show
How our poems glow
With comments that give us the scoop.

Sincere as she gives us her view
Of writes we submit, old or new
No sooner we post
She’s there like our host
With greetings to look forward to.

Her poetry’s lovely to read
No matter what subject indeed
Some words leave us sad
Some words make us glad
And some provide lessons to heed.

So friendly to all on our site
We love her with all of our might
Although she has woes
Her care she bestows
On others to help with their plight.


© Sandra M. Haight 2015 
   All Rights Reserved

~1st Place~
Contest: Write a Poem
Sponsor: Judy Konos
Judged: 02/11/2015




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Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous, wind,

HE'S HAVING A FART ATTACK

A constipated vicar named Bart Was in church when he dropped a huge fart He said 'Lord I have sinned' For I’ve got pooey wind Blushing scarlet he did soon depart! 26th April 2016


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: father daughter, health, humorous,

SUGAR DADDY - TWO LENSES

Childhood Days I’d heap spoonfuls of sugar in my tea I wouldn’t drink it without it you see That sweet syrupy drink Wasn’t poured down the sink Every single drop was supped up by me! Adulthood Dad’s diabetes made me think - Did I need to sweeten my drink So I cut sugar out And I don’t have a doubt I’m slimmer and I’m in the pink Contest: Two Lenses Sponsor Sara Kendrick 02~20~16


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, mum,

Titillating Experience

Mom caught her boob in the washer’s wringer
Rotor made Mom an opera singer
    Tit for tat, she got redder
     Pop struggled with the lever
I pulled the plug, was able to spring ‘er

Wow!  Mum is the word on this awful day
We don’t refer to this deed of foul play
     “Hah! Your Dad’s a dud," she cried
     As with pain pills she was plied
Now under the radar Pop stays away




*Entry for David William’s Palindrome Mad Contest
By Carolyn Devonshire

Palindrome Words:
Mom, boob, rotor,  tit, tat, redder, Pop, Wow, Mum, refer, deed, Hah!, Dad, dud, radar