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Best Limerick Poems

These are some of the best limerick poems written by web poets on PoetrySoup.com.

See also: examples of limerick poems


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: farm, humorous, sexy,

MARY IN THE DAIRY

A curvaceous lady named Mary Just loved having sex in the dairy When smothered with whipped cream Her beau would lick her clean… His Calorie intake was scary!!! 14th June 2016



Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, lust, natural disasters,

OOPS - IT'S A BIT OF A COCK UP

Ted enjoys a quick roll in the hay... He’s sleeping with his buxom P A She confirmed she’s with child Ted baulked, then got quite riled I wonder what his wife’s got to say! 5/26/18


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: anti bullying, poetry,

I ADMIT I WRITE POOP POETRY


A poet - some deem that I’m not I write about farting and snot Won’t be driven away I am here to stay Of critics, I don’t give a jot 3/21/19


Poem Details | by Anne Currin |
Categories: metaphor,

Looks Can Be Deceiving

There was a young girl whose silk skin
Was sewn up with some thread and a pin.
     It would drive the men mad,
     That sleek layer she had,
Well, until she took off her silk skin.

By Anne Currin


Poem Details | by Judith Angell Meyer |
Categories: funny, imagination, song-

His funeral

That he planned his funeral is factual
And being a prankster quite actual
He prerecorded his voice
So when we kneeled on the joist
He said, "Hi there! Don't I look natural."


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: spring,

SPRING FORWARD

In spring time fresh flowers are rising New lambs in the fields – not surprising In every hedgerow and tree Lush beauty will surround me It’s heaven; there is no disguising 02~16~15 Contest: Spring Forward -Debbie Guzzi Syllables checked 9 9 7 7 9


Poem Details | by RALPH TAYLOR |
Categories: funny

GIMME A BRAKE

A UFO went to land in Dakota
But the brakes didn't work one iota.
        It didn't take long
        to decide what was wrong
seems the space ship was made by Toyota!


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: journey, life,

The Arc Of Life



Travelling through life resembles an arc We start out as a child emerging from the dark To reach a crescendo Establishing a tempo Then sadly we all must eventually disembark © Jack Ellison 2015



Poem Details | by jack horne |
Categories: music

Anno

There once was a banshee called Anno,
Who was learning to play the piano.
She was doomed to fail,
And started to wail -
And now she’s a world class soprano.


Poem Details | by Tim Smith |
Categories: for her,

Trump and the Beaver - For Jan

Out in the woods Trump took a nap Under an oak dripping of sap pants to his knees what a big sleaze Fresh beaver still caught in his trap
*I do not endorse this message and no actual beavers were hurt in this poem


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: friendship,

Friendships For Life



Some people you meet leave an lasting impression Some pass through without even a mention The ones that stand out Leave us no doubt Friendships for life are without exception


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: friendship, thank you, tribute,

CASH COW

I was blessed by a golden cash cow She’s a wonderful friend to me now For those in the know She goes with the flow Here’s my tribute, may she take a bow! 12~27~16


Poem Details | by Judith S |
Categories: anger,

Mute It

What causes those daft in the head To hurt others with things they’ve said If you must then vent Your jealous intent Perhaps you should mute it instead.


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, clothes, humorous,

TOEING THE LINE - BAWDY LIMERICK

Sue’s panties gave her so much woe - She suffered from dire ‘camel toe’ But with help from soft plastic Her new outline’s fantastic It’s discrete and no one would know! 4/5/18


Poem Details | by Jesse Rowe |
Categories: bird, food, funny,

Fatso

They said how she ate was absurd;
A "Fatso", they called her she heard,
And ever since then
That poor, baby wren
Just pecked at her food like a bird.

8.31.18
Contest: Any Animal or Creature Limerick


Poem Details | by Dean Wood |
Categories: ocean,

Kelp Me With This Won't You

A young mermaid from old Shangri-La
Had a Math quiz --- right after her spa 
So she thought, “What to wear,
That will make the boys stare?”
Then she picked out her best algae-bra!


Poem Details | by Kristin Carter |
Categories: imagination, life, nature, places,

I Met This Charming Moonbeam Last Night

The arms of the willow started to sway
and this curious glow rippled my way.
While flirting with my feet,
nature played a song so sweet.
The lake our dance floor 'til the sun's first ray.


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny,

Zoo Limerick

A struggle ensued at the zoo

when King Lion met Jack Kangaroo.

Leo tried to attack,

but Jack fired right back:

"Are you crazy, Cat? I know Kung Fu!"


For Geraldine Taylor's  The Creative Collective Anthology Series - Comic Version


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: girlfriend-boyfriend

Rock Paper Scissors

Rock Girl

You are scissors, and all you can do is to cut all those paper hearts through. But I’ve hardened my heart and before you can start to destroy me, I’m going to SMASH you!
(Gosh, PD, they won't even permit the ~sign in the title!)


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

JUICY FRUIT

A busty young lady from Peel Her boobies she couldn't conceal They were such a huge size That she won a first prize For the fruit men most wanted to feel 7th April 2015 I made a bit of a boob on the 2nd line - thanks Paul Callus for your advice


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

HAPPINESS

There once was a young man called Rodger Who's very transfixed with his todger From morning till night He gets his delight Now he shares his bed with his lodger 29 ~12~14


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny

A "Brush" with Horror

Forget to brush; must maintain that gleam
Run to sink, grab a tube, no light stream
     Such an odd taste in my mouth
     Quickly I must spit it out
Oh, dear Lord, it’s Dad’s hemorrhoid cream!


(Sadly, a true story)


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: computer-internet, humorous, relationship,

I can only hand it to you

Tapped messages go out direct
With phones it's an easy connect
Thoughts from a finger
In cyberspace linger
But touching's too much to expect


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: fish,

The Fisherwoman - For Contest

A desperate spinster, Jane took strong measures the day she would cook fresh trout. Her date bit the barb left in it! He truly was caught on her hook! 4/26/2015


Poem Details | by Paul Callus |
Categories: fun, humor,

Ninja Girl

   On the Isle of Man lives a Ninja girl
   Daring in her act, makes your toesies curl
   She has a pretty face
   And sips her tea with grace
   Be not taken in – she’s no fragile pearl.


   ----------------------------------------------

   Sent with hugs by Lulu` Pascal