Written by
Larry Belt
Categories:
funny
Closet Case
She looks like death on a crippled spider
Hips like an elephant, maybe wider
My friends came over and saw
My ugly mother-in-law
Next time they come they want me to hide her
Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
animals
Bess' Pet Spider
"I have a sweet spider," Bess said.
"Don't fear it; just pet it instead!"
But just then "sweet" spider
proceeded to bite 'er.
She stomped on it till it was dead!
For Carolyn and John's Limericks Contest:
"Are You Bugged?"
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
funnymyth,
It's a Myth, Women Do Like Spiders
The woman who dreamt of a spider
Awoke to find it inside her
With a scream and a yell
she thought, " oh! what the hell"
Eight hands, oh my! what a provider
http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/humour-6.php
Written by
Poet. Undertaker
Categories:
humor,
Secret Deal
Once there was a dame called Rose Mary”the charter”
“Man with a monkey face, elastic arm” her character
Iron man, He Man, Superman,
Spider man, are great power men
Bloody patent this character, for trillion dollars sure!
Written by
William Robinson
Categories:
animals, children, funny,
Crawl, Paul
A young, macho spider named Paul
Imagined himself ten feet tall.
At friend's warnings he sneezed--
Said he'd crawl where he pleased.
Now Paul's just a stain on the wall.
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
funny,
Granddaddy Brotherhood
There was once a granddaddy spider who
I was a-fixin' to stomp with my shoe
It made me think twice
That wouldn't be nice
He's a granddaddy and I are one too
Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Written by
Tirzah Conway
Categories:
animals, funny
Spiders, Yuck!
There is a spider on my wall,
I tried to squish it with a baseball;
But I only made it mad,
Oh man, this is bad,
Why am I afraid of something so small.
Written by
Brenden Taylor
Categories:
animals, inspirational
A Spider Will Crawl On the Floor
A spider will crawl on the floor
And often will stop at a door;
I think that he's waiting
And maybe debating
On whether he wants something more.
Written by
William Robinson
Categories:
animals, children, funny,
Pickled Spider
Now, wasn't it sad about Snyder,
The light hearted, fun loving spider?
He got a gnat in his eye,
While pursuing a fly,
And fell into a barrel of cider.
Written by
Gert W. Knop
Categories:
animals
Spider Bill
A boy had a spider called Bill
which gave his sister always a chill
one day a cat came into their house
but instead of catching a mouse
she had eaten up poor little Bill
For Jon's Limerick-Contest
Written by
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Categories:
angst, animals
A Drunken Spider
A Drunken Spider
There once was a huge golden-silk spider.
Bobby Joe ran to sit down beside her.
He threw some sticks at her web.
Her frustrations did not ebb.
So, he sprayed on a liquor elixir.
© August 4, 2010
Dane Smith-Johnsen
Written by
Cecil Hickman
Categories:
funny, holiday, people, satire
One Hallows Eve
Halloween spider queen, I did attend
Wig, stockings, black dress, makeup, heels, suspend
Whistles and catcalls they came.
Mystical night all the same,
I had such fun, succeeding this pretend.
Written by
Ann Peck
Categories:
sexy, smile,
Grown Up Miss Muffet
Grown Miss Muffet put “tuffet” on display
family quickly denounced her as a stray
Muffet found bike rider
who called himself Spider
and, after curds, he and she sped a-whey
May 12, 2023
Written by
Regina Mcintosh
Categories:
angst, fear, halloween, holiday, insect, nature, scary,
The Web
Whispers of soft breath sliced straight through
The strands of the spider webs glue
Halloween goblins hissed
Mocking spiders they kissed
Excited when the web caught dew
Written by
Subimal Sinha-Roy
Categories:
analogy, dream, funny,
The Trap of Tapestry
THE TRAP OF TAPESTRY
I wish that I was a crafty spider
Out of nothing weave my cobweb wider,
A honey bee you want to be
Trap of tapestry you won’t see,
I’ll catch you there if you’re a dream rider.
May 3, 2018.
Written by
Caryl Muzzey
Categories:
funny
Sticky Spider
A black spider got stuck in his lair,
stuck firmly by his sticky black hair.
He ate a sweet bug
that crawled on his rug;
now he cannot get out of his chair.
Copyright © 2006 By Caryl SMuzzey
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
philosophy,
Cycle Paths
A Black-Widow spider may mate
With her tastiest dinner date
Her children may wonder
If she made a blunder
Though they cannot wait to test fate!
Written by
Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty
Categories:
fun,
Jesse Lasky
Jesse Lasky met Boris Spasky
Musket musk-catty spider husky
Lasky's knight cooked Spasky's rook
Spasky's queen is spider's spook
Bishop stomped heyho where is Cash key ?
Written by
Robert Gorelick
Categories:
humorous,
Gourmet Grasshopper
A follow-up to Beryl Edmonds
"A Flying Romance" 02/11/24
Gourmet Grasshopper
After the spider made lunch of the fly
A curious grasshopper leapt on by
He told the fly with gusto
I really now must go
to dine on my worm and centipede pie!
Written by
Carol Mitra
Categories:
halloween,
A White Witch
I saw a white witch, a rough rider
Down the path of a Blue moon slider
A night rider on her broom
She glided into the room
And crawled towards me like a spider.
Dated: 12.10.2020
Halloween Inspired Limerick
Lines 1,2, and 5- 9 syllables each
Lines 3 and 4- 7 syllables.
Written by
Charlie Knowlton
Categories:
death, goodbye, insect, murder,
Spider Skeletons
Maybe one hug for the one hundred bugs,
you ate in my window of bay
But now that you`ve eaten,
your life I`m deleting,
for your creep will soon crawl my way.
Written by
Terry Flood
Categories:
drink,
Scrumpy
The brewery's apple provider
Saved the manageress from a spider
While having a snog
He fell in the grog
And spent the whole evening in cider
Written by
Shirley Hawkins
Categories:
10th grade,
Miss Muffet
Do you remember the rhyme, Miss Muffet,
About the little girl that sat on a tuffet,
She didn't run away,
She decided to stay,
She sat on the spider and snuffed it!
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
nursery rhyme,
Little Things Mean a Lot
Her rather quaint cottage in Gwent
Appeared to be quite Heaven-sent
Then down came a spider
That flip-flopped inside her
And hie high ballistic she went!
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
fantasy, insect,
Miss Muffet Comes of Age
She said: 'I think that I shall never see
A thing as ugly as this bug on me
If I were a spider
I'd have to hide from her
But it's just a tarantula ~ Whooppee'