She looks like death on a crippled spider
Hips like an elephant, maybe wider
My friends came over and saw
My ugly mother-in-law
Next time they come they want me to hide her
The woman who dreamt of a spider
Awoke to find it inside her
With a scream and a yell
she thought, " oh! what the hell"
Eight hands, oh my! what a provider
"I have a sweet spider," Bess said.
"Don't fear it; just pet it instead!"
But just then "sweet" spider
proceeded to bite 'er.
She stomped on it till it was dead!
For Carolyn and John's Limericks Contest:
"Are You Bugged?"
There was once a granddaddy spider who
I was a-fixin' to stomp with my shoe
It made me think twice
That wouldn't be nice
He's a granddaddy and I are one too
Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Once there was a dame called Rose Mary”the charter”
“Man with a monkey face, elastic arm” her character
Iron man, He Man, Superman,
Spider man, are great power men
Bloody patent this character, for trillion dollars sure!
A young, macho spider named Paul
Imagined himself ten feet tall.
At friend's warnings he sneezed--
Said he'd crawl where he pleased.
Now Paul's just a stain on the wall
A spider will crawl on the floor
And often will stop at a door;
I think that he's waiting
And maybe debating
On whether he wants something more.
There is a spider on my wall,
I tried to squish it with a baseball;
But I only made it mad,
Oh man, this is bad,
Why am I afraid of something so small.
A boy had a spider called Bill
which gave his sister always a chill
one day a cat came into their house
but instead of catching a mouse
she had eaten up poor little Bill
For Jon's Limerick-Contest
A Drunken Spider
There once was a huge golden-silk spider.
Bobby Joe ran to sit down beside her.
He threw some sticks at her web.
Her frustrations did not ebb.
So, he sprayed on a liquor elixir.
© August 4, 2010
Now, wasn't it sad about Snyder,
The light hearted, fun loving spider?
He got a gnat in his eye,
While pursuing a fly,
And fell into a barrel of cider.
Halloween spider queen, I did attend
Wig, stockings, black dress, makeup, heels, suspend
Whistles and catcalls they came.
Mystical night all the same,
I had such fun, succeeding this pretend.
A black spider got stuck in his lair,
stuck firmly by his sticky black hair.
He ate a sweet bug
that crawled on his rug;
now he cannot get out of his chair.
Copyright © 2006 By Caryl SMuzzey
THE TRAP OF TAPESTRY
I wish that I was a crafty spider
Out of nothing weave my cobweb wider,
A honey bee you want to be
Trap of tapestry you won’t see,
I’ll catch you there if you’re a dream rider.
May 3, 2018.
Jesse Lasky met Boris Spasky
Musket musk-catty spider husky
Lasky's knight cooked Spasky's rook
Spasky's queen is spider's spook
Bishop stomped heyho where is Cash key ?
The brewery's apple provider
Saved the manageress from a spider
While having a snog
He fell in the grog
And spent the whole evening in cider
I saw a white witch, a rough rider
Down the path of a Blue moon slider
A night rider on her broom
She glided into the room
And crawled towards me like a spider.
Halloween Inspired Limerick
Lines 1,2, and 5- 9 syllables each
Lines 3 and 4- 7 syllables.
Her rather quaint cottage in Gwent
Appeared to be quite Heaven-sent
Then down came a spider
That flip-flopped inside her
And hie high ballistic she went!
She said: 'I think that I shall never see
A thing as ugly as this bug on me
If I were a spider
I'd have to hide from her
But it's just a tarantula ~ Whooppee'
Each October brings forth Halloween.
Kids love scary, weird props, unforeseen:
four-foot spider that crawls-
flying, mock bat appalls-
as does ground-breaker zombie on scene!
October 14, 2020
Contest: Halloween Inspired Limerick
Sponsor: Tania Kitchin
Wild Woman from Glynn
She was wild woman from Glynn,
And she always would like to sin;
Did again and again;
Started growing thin;
Became spider a web would spin.
Do you remember the rhyme, Miss Muffet,
About the little girl that sat on a tuffet,
She didn't run away,
She decided to stay,
She sat on the spider and snuffed it!
A Black-Widow spider may mate
With her tastiest dinner date
Her children may wonder
If she made a blunder
Though they cannot wait to test fate!