He's drunk as a skunk on St Patrick’s Day
Too much Guinness stopped him getting a lay
For he had brewers droop
So he had to regroup
He’ll have to wait for a roll in the hay
17th March 2015
A glass of milk is something I fear
Please do not pour me a glass my dear
You'll be mad as a skunk
When I'm coming home drunk
But to tell you the truth I like beer.
Alvin the chipmunk
Dressed like a rock punk
Sure smelled like a skunk
While poking around in an old tree trunk
I came nose to nose with a stinky skunk
He suddenly raised his tail
Twas' such a horrible smell
For my wife said that I stink, stank, and stunk
Limerick : Once a Ticket-Puncher got dead drunk
Once a Ticket-Puncher got dead drunk
Punched everyone he called « Bloody Skunk ! »
Sentenced to punch in ring
Minus his wedding ring
Now his wife’s punched drunk by a starved Monk.
© TWignesan – Paris, 2013
There was a man named Freddie
he'd beat is wife ever steady
a self centered drunk
he was a scum and a skunk
the judge made sure his cell was ready
There was a man named Paddy Maclean
Who resembled a fat runner bean.
With his mates he got drunk
Then brought up...and he stunk
Like a skunk who was dressed all in green.
Contest: Anything Green
Sponsor: Skat A
He bought his wife fake Chanel Number Five
It smelled like a skunk - no longer alive!
Just one whiff and he knew
Eau de ‘Pepe la Pew’
From clenched fists he would have to duck and dive!
20th May 2015
Limerick: Once an uppity Lady from Freeze
Once an uppity Lady in Freeze
Bought a thousand three-hundred shoe-trees.
She had only two feet
Under her buckling meat.
People ate skunk cabbage soles to grease.
© TWignesan – Paris, 2013
Old Paddy supped ten pints of ale
Now drunk as a skunk, he turned pale
He slewed to the right
Got into a fight
Now Paddy’s residing in jail!
There once was a skunk in my yard,
And although I'm no bard,
I'll tell you the story,
of how I won glory,
As soon as my door is unbarred.
There once was an elephant's trunk
That accidentally encountered a skunk
He sneezed 40 times
Til he rang his own chimes
Then cried cause he knew how he stunk
The wife was as drunk as a skunk
When she bumped into a young punk
Before he knew it
She simply blew it
Is that what they call a "Slam Dunk"?
My grandma once de-skunked a skunk
for reasons I still have not thunk
she knew what to do
without a pee yew
and never the stale air did stunk
How would you like to be a skunk?
And told day and night that you stunk?
I wouldn't object
Or change the subject
That awful smell is just something I thunk
There once was a pup named Pete
Fresh off of his Mama’s teet
First day off his lead
He found some skunk weed
Now he smells like butt and feet
There once was a monk named Cur Plunk
Who frequently strayed from his bunk
He claimed he was drunk
And stunk like a skunk
'til his hunk of a trunk had shrunk
Suzette, alas,so drunk at the bar.
Decided to drive home in her car
Oops, ran over a skunk.
Heavens it really stunk.
Out of her car, she studied stars.
The baby skunk was so sad
Because his scent made people mad
So, he sat in a pond
A good fairy waved her wand
Suddenly he stopped smelling bad
Skunks have religious sanctum in Bombay
Protected from hunting both night and day
Skunk whisper was good
When in skunk language they said, "Let us spray!"
A polecat and a skunk met one day.
And why are you here? They both did say.
Knowing not of zoos,
They worked out in two’s,
And became best friends in every way.
LeRoy had never been squeamish, fastidious or fussy,
He always dressed quite casually, his hair sometimes rather mussy.
But that all changed one day
On the 16th of May
When he was bitten by a neighbor’s rabid skunk named Gussy