Scary Limerick Poems - Limerick Poems and Poets

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Written by Jan Allison
Categories: farm, humorous, sexy,

Mary In the Dairy

A curvaceous lady named Mary
Just loved having sex in the dairy
When smothered with whipped cream
Her beau would lick her clean…
His Calorie intake was scary!!!

14th June 2016

Written by Jack Ellison
Categories: fate,

A Ravenous Eater

When I sing I sound like prehistoric creature
Fending off attackers, defending each metre
A scary old fellow
As I screech and bellow
So beware my friends I'm a ravenous eater

Written by Eve Roper
Categories: scary,

Frozen in Fear

Twas exhausted night before Thanksgiving, 
after few eggnog Whiskeys, relieving
Awful chilling and spooky, 
Boo-hoo, the turkey soupy, 
Homegrown, fear fill eyes were unforgiving.

Written by Jan Allison
Categories: body, humorous,

Bawdy Limerick

A buxom young lady named Mary 
whose nipples were dreadfully hairy 
Tried waxing and plucking 
When no one was looking        
But re-growth was terribly scary 




Written especially for Roy Jerden’s
Bawdy Bawdy Bawdy Misss Clawdy Contest




5th May 2014

Written by Jack Ellison
Categories: scary,

The Rain In Spain

The rain in Spain has nothing on us
Seems our annual rainfall, their records we'll bust
A charming thought
We'll need a yacht
To get the market for some salami and stuff


© Jack Ellison 2015

Written by Jack Ellison
Categories: imagination,

Self Driving Cars

Hmmm self driving cars..kinda scary
It'll take some getting used to for the very wary
It'll certainly take trust
Open mindedness is a must
Won't be first in line, seems kinda hairy


© Jack Ellison 2016

Written by John Lawless
Categories: humor,

Loose and Hairy - For Contest

Loose and Hairy


he spent the night roaming her prairie
at sunrise the trip became scary

from under the sheet
stuck two gnarly feet

her beauty turned fat, LOOSE, and HAIRY


5/21/2015

submitted to – L&H Limericks – Poetry Contest
sponsor – Catie Lindsey

Written by Theresa Cw
Categories: fun, humor,

Harry and Scary

Hairy and Scary

Mary, Mary where is your brother Larry?
Went to movies with little sister Terry
They both look quite so short
They both need to abort
Sister Terry's legs are hairy and scary.


Written: June 6, 2015
Theresa Marie W-C

Written by Viv Wigley
Categories: humor,

Limerick- For Contest

I placed an old photo of me
right under  my pillow, you see,
and whoah, this is scary
for the ugly fairy
has left me some money- whoopee!

For contest' Limerick', sponsor Jan Allison

Written by Faleshia Murphy
Categories: funny, halloween,

Halloween

It's about that time for Halloween
Look at all the witches so scary and green
I'm getting ready to scare the pants off the kids
Have fun enjoy doing it I always did
It's halloween I'm not being mean

Written by Gail Debole
Categories: addiction, funny, halloween, humor, humorous, scary,

Hexting Addiction

Written by Gail DeBole on 10/23/2017
Updated on 3/13/2020

A witch addicted to texting
Sent all her curses by “hexting.”
On Halloween night
She "hexed" a spell to cause fright  
In a swirl of spirit quite vexing.

Written by Gail Foster
Categories: cat, death, fantasy, fear, halloween, moon, scary,

Ghost Cat

There once was a white cat I knew
Who had feathers; a ghost cat who flew
Through the shimmering streams
Of the moon’s silver beams
Leaving slain doves in the dew

by Gail

Written by Paul Schneiter
Categories: death, scary,

Checked In, and In

Marie McCaid was a hotel maid.
She tidied rooms where guests had laid.
On opening Room thirty-four
the odor sent her to the floor.
One guest had clearly overstayed.

Written by Tim Smith
Categories: nonsense,

Crazy Ted

There once was an odd fellow named Ted
Broke both legs and was confined to bed
Walked on hands to go pee
A scary sight to see
When he shook it, it dropped on his head

Written by Jerry T Curtis
Categories: humorous,

Something For Halloween

I wanted to write something real scary
About a Monster 
Both toothless and hairy
But he needed a name, my grandson proclaimed
I think you should just call him "JERRY"

Thank Ben !

Written by Tim Smith
Categories: fun,

Visiting Our Jack

Might be heading up north, scary I know
Land of milk and honey, that's where I'll go
I'll meet Santa Jack
Go check out his shack
So ladies beware, you'll need to lay low

Written by Reay Mackay
Categories: adventure,

Gehry and the Whale

with an architect known as Gehry
his titanium sails were so scary
if viewed by a whale
that would likely entail
a blow then a massive Hail Mary.

Written by Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories: humorous, scary,

Cletus O'Toole's Encounter With a Bidet

Since toilet tissue is so hard to find

   He bought a bidet to cleanse his behind

      With the very first flush

         Cletus scalded his tush

            To use again he was not too inclined

Written by George Aul
Categories: humorous,

Home Security System

I tripped over a bearskin rug,
I was trying to steal a hug,
when I fell to the ground
I heard a scary sound...
"Bear's not dead" she said with a shrug.

Written by Jack Ellison
Categories: fun,

Just An Illusion

Still believe blankets are an impenetrable protection
And help guard against scary monsters intrusion
Each night they visit
An image so vivid
As long as we're covered, they remain just an illusion

Written by Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty
Categories: fun, nonsense,

Porky Dorky

Porky dorky was a good cook
                                Cooked the ham for a scary spook
                                       The spook was knotty
                                          Asked for a potty
                                   Dorky missed his gobbledygook

Written by Steven Luke Williams
Categories: animals,

Betty the Little Black Stout Cat

Betty the Little black stout cat
Was busy chasing a Rat
Like Tom in the cartoon Tom and Jerry
You know their rows are a little scary
When suddenly her paw got stuck on the mat
And she fell on her nose flat