Written by
Dean Wood
Categories:
ocean,
Kelp Me With This Won'T You
A young mermaid from old Shangri-La
Had a Math quiz --- right after her spa
So she thought, “What to wear,
That will make the boys stare?”
Then she picked out her best algae-bra!
Written by
Bill Baker
Categories:
adventure, car, crazy, fun, race, sports, world,
Gumball Rally
We entered the Gumball Rally
My driver was “Backstreets” Tally
With his crazy fast car
We still couldn’t get far
Bad math, no gas, in Death Valley
Written by
Nandita Das
Categories:
funny, math, nonsense,
Just Doesn'T Add Up
Pythagoras once fell off a ladder
And landed on a venomous adder
This adder couldn't add
Calculus made it sad
Algebra and theorems made it madder.
Written by
Ed Morris
Categories:
funny, humorous, math, science,
Einstein's Bent Lines
Though we hail Albert E.’s creativity
For his grand tour de force, relativity,
It remains a tough climb
To imagine space-time
With its axes not fixed but all pivoty.
Written by
Ilene Bauer
Categories:
humor, math,
Pi Day
Today we should all be prepared
For some pizza, much better when shared;
But it cannot be round
For this date is renowned
As the one when all Pi must be squared.
Written by
David Fisher
Categories:
fruit, funny, math,
Gross Fruits
We planted a gross of strange, cube shaped fruits
Below the soil, then waited for shoots
When summer was through
Only twelve grew
Which is what you get when you plant, square roots
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
cat, education, funny, giggle, humor, student, teacher,
teachers pet
my math teachers fav'rite cat
likes to wear a baseball hat
when the class stares it down
it will hiss with a frown
red sox man are where its at.
Written by
Jerome Malenfant
Categories:
math,
Leonhard Euler Once Said To His Son
Leonhard Euler once said to his son,
“Hey kid, c’mere, look what I’ve done!
The exponential of pi,
First multiplied by i,
Exactly equates to minus one”
Written by
James Horn
Categories:
allegory, analogy, humorous,
Wrath of a Sociopath
Wrath of a Sociopath
Wish Trump would take a bath
To wash away wrath of a sociopath
He loves living in his tower
Also even us over power
Did worst on speech and math.
Nothing ever adds up with Trump.
He also is bipolar if you haven't
noticed lately.
Jim Horn
Written by
Ed Morris
Categories:
funny, history, humor, humorous, math, philosophy,
The Pythagorean Trump
The crazy beliefs of Pythagoras
On beans and their fruits simply stagger us,
But what he deduces
Of hypotenuses
Still earns him the right to be swaggerous.
Written by
George Aul
Categories:
humorous,
Swish
I missed the toilet in the dark,
I'm always deadly as a shark,
I miscalculated -
math is overrated...
think basketball: Shoot with an arc.
Written by
Jerome Malenfant
Categories:
humorous, math,
A Mathematician Named Stanley Quist
A mathematician named Stanley Quist
So impressed his fellow topologists
By finding a proof of a complex conjecture,
Then disappearing during his lecture.
For he had just proven that SQuist did not exist.
Written by
Darrin Funk
Categories:
funny
Look Out
When an SUV crosses my path,
My brain quickly does the math.
I move over fast
And let it get past,
So it's rear bumper faces my wrath!
Written by
Paul Thomson
Categories:
math,
Rise Over Run
There once was a mathematician named Swope
Who said,” In calculus, while I’m deriving, I hope
To find an function so perfect
No tangent could touch it
Lest I fall on a slippery slope"
Written by
Rashi Soni
Categories:
7th grade, art, funny,
Summer Laziness
There’s nought on the rocky terrain,
These big words are too much for my brain,
After hindiscience and math,
And thee, thou, hast and hath,
So I’ll go take a nap again.
06.04.2030
Summer Laziness
Written by
James Horn
Categories:
allegory, analogy,
According To My Latest Math
According To My Latest Math
What I did determine was my latest math,
Had ended up on a very unpleasant path;
Am all alone;
Weep and moan,
And being full of pain and so much wreath.
Jim Horn
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
fashion, hair, peace,
Six Years In the Making
The 'New Math' has been around quite a while
It's time 'Journalism' cranked up her dial
Red pants suits are fun
Orange be the sun
MsClinton and Trump at last reconciled
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
anger, evil, math, murder,
tip of the iceberg
Three hot shots unlike normal men
Form and fill this diagram Venn:
Luigi the threat
Forms an ivied set
With Elon + Don from U Penn
Written by
Robert Pettit
Categories:
math,
Twenty-Seven
Twenty-seven is eighteen plus nine.
The difference of thirty less three is fine.
If you're not a fool,
and you stay in school,
it's the square root of seven hundred twenty-nine!
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
cute, march, math,
pie is not exactly right
While circular area's moot
3/14 math groupies salute
Approximate pi
Which helps us get by
Since squares within rounds don't compute
Written by
Caren Krutsinger
Categories:
1st grade, 2nd grade, 3rd grade, 4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade, 7th grade,
A Sick Leprechaun
A leprechaun named Harry PHappy
Felt really sick,and needed a nappy.
He took Pepto Bis.
Before his math quiz,
His answers were all wrong, but quite snappy.
Written by
Pat Adams
Categories:
education, math, word play,
The Mean Scene
Sometimes you can't help but go the right way
She was said to be average in math one day
When she made a scene,
And said, "That was mean!"
Her teacher said, "Brilliant! I'll give you an A!"
Written by
Pat Adams
Categories:
confusion, humor, math,
Surely Knot That Many
Now a days, there are so many distractions,
And computers to figure our transactions!
It comes to mind,
We just may find,
Seven out of five people are bad at fractions!
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
dance, freedom, math, school, science, star,
School Daze
Mathematics is sure not my forte
Nor are chemistry or physics ok
I'd really like to roam free
To study astronomy
So I can 'star' in 'An Evening Soiree'
Written by
Mark Toney
Categories:
business, career, money, work,
Tax Expert
There was a young math whiz named Egbert
Who fancied himself a tax expert
Touting tax tips he tried
Till terribly tongue-tied
Never more will he overexert