Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
culture, funny, humor, irony, silly,
Woosh Vs Zroooom--A Limerick Joke
A vacuum cleaner should glide
And relief from messes provide
It is quite unlike
Harley Davidson's bike
Where the dirtbag's on the outside
Author's note: Someone told me this vapid joke at work today, so I framed it as above--enjoy!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
bullying, humorous, irony,
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
A quiet teenager named Tina
Had bullies use words to demean her
But my memory lingers
cos she stuck up two fingers
then pushed them into the marina!
3/20/18
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
clothes, death, irony, snow,
As I Was Walking In the Snow
When out walking it started to snow
I’d forgotten to take my chapeau
With nothing on my head
Got frozen, soon lay dead
Hypothermia killed me you know!
As I was out walking in the snow contest
Sponsored by Kevin shaw
Dark humour for the contest
2/16/18
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
irony, wedding,
Dress to impress!- bawdy humour
My sister got married in white
Gran commented, “That isn’t right -
You are no virgin bride
That’s YOUR son by your side
You should have kept your legs shut tight!”
Written by
John Lawless
Categories:
irony, winter,
Pir-O-Wet
She could do an axel and spin
go higher and do it again
when she heard the crack
she never looked back
as she passed the sign that read THIN
12/29/2020
Winter Snow or Ice Limerick Poetry Contest
Tania Kitchin - sponsor
Written by
Isaiah Zerbst
Categories:
holiday, humor, humorous, ireland, irony,
My Old Bucket
I lost my old bucket so sadly,
And felt oh so terribly badly;
Then lo and behold
A pot full of gold!
I'd lose me another and gladly.
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
anger, dog, humorous, irony,
The Dog Poo Fairy
Here’s a fact SOME dog owners have missed -
The dog poo fairy DOESN’T exist
So get out your scoop
And clear up that poop
Or you’ll get a big slap on the wrist!
Inspired by a large poster I saw on a van
07~16~15
Written by
Robert Candler
Categories:
angst, desire, humorous, irony, life, lust, sorrow,
Oh Well
Bill stared at a cute butt going by.
Wishing he were much bolder, he sighed,
"I would give all my pay
To roll that in the hay."
But looked up to see 'she' was a guy.
Written by
Dorian Petersen Potter
Categories:
confusion, film, funny, humor, humorous, irony, violence,
Batman and Robin
(Limerick)
Batman and Robin hit the Joker
But their blow was only a croaker
The Joker hit back
But instead hit Jack
Who said "I'm glad, the Joker's an smoker!
Dorian Petersen Potter
Aka ladydp2000
Copyright@2014
09.16.2014
Written by
Josie Higginson
Categories:
irony,
Cow Limerick
Cow from Calcutter
There once was a Cow from Calcutter,
Who really was quite fond of butter.
She ate it all day,
Instead of her hay,
I think she's a bit of a nutter...
Written by
Nyonglema Pisoh
Categories:
education, future, irony, satire, youth,
Protection
Oh how awesome a condom, marvelous invention!
Stopping them from this direction and the other direction
But the risk when it bursts
More than just being bust
Is a disease riddled infant who'll need your protection
(c) Nyongelma
Written by
Timothy Hicks
Categories:
humorous, irony,
Provocative Titles
There's nothing wrong with the name Burger King
(aside from the obvious ego thing).
But I'd be mighty skeptic
about shouting out in public,
"Let's go buy a couch from that place called Sofa King"
NOTE: Say "Sofa King" while closing your eyes..see if you don't notice something strange.
Written by
Adell Foster
Categories:
character, crazy, funny, giggle, humor, irony, poetry,
Oh Louise-If the Shoe Fits
There was a girl called Lovely Lou,
She never seemed to know what to do.
Many thought she was a fool,
‘Til, she said the jokes on you;
she had filled their boots with crazy glue!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, irony, poetry,
It's a Steal - Inspired By John Wulf
John I'd love to steal your work
But I’d look a complete berk
We know stealing is wrong
Unless you come from Ding Dong
some need to do their homework!
Tongue firmly in cheek write Inspired by John Wulf's poem Steal this poem please
12th April 2016
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
humorous, irony,
Pete's Enigma
Pete's spouse accused him of having no class.
Socially, folks avoided him en masse.
He had a most dreadful flaw,
That made some people guffaw.
He could not control the passing of gas!
Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
Written by
George Aul
Categories:
humor, irony,
Mistaken Identity
A bad crime has landed me in jail,
I also told the judge "Go to hell,"
for while serving the time
I did not do the crime...
Honest! It was my twin brother Sal.
Written by
Paul Schneiter
Categories:
irony, stress,
Barred
Billy Joe was a caring bartender
who tried to be a broken-heart mender.
But stories of woe
put him in a hole.
Now he's gone on a two-week bender.
Written by
Daniel Human
Categories:
funny, irony, travel,
The Monster In Loch Ness
There is a monster in Loch Ness
Which has been seen, more or less
And tourists flock with cameras zoomed
To be quite expensively roomed
And even if the photo shows a grey, grained blotch
At least the bar sells a lot of Scotch.
Written by
Luke Irwin
Categories:
change, destiny, irony, passion,
Grook - Comfort To Death
Complacency, leisure and ease,
Sloth is a creeping disease.
To take your first breath,
Put comfort to death,
Only then, the day you may seize!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
fun, humorous, irony, rain,
Brolly Dolly
My granny her first name is Dolly
Is loopy, she’s clean off her trolley
I know she’s insane
Cos when we have rain
She uses a sieve as her brolly
03/17/21
Written by
Warner Baxter
Categories:
fun, girl, humorous, irony, nonsense, silly,
A Girl That Lived In Brussels
~*~
~~**~~
there once was a girl that lived in Brussels
she married a man now they're the Russel's
she was kind of a geek
he was more than weak
she with no brains him without muscles
~~**~~
~*~
November, 14, 2014
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
bullying, irony, sexy,
Life With Trump Iv
Donald was born with life cushy
It’s known that he can be pushy
Expect this bully
To grab for things wooly
Like a fine pussy that’s bushy
Author's note: Get ready for the under the table shenanigans at state dinners.
Written by
Carolyn Devonshire
Categories:
irony,
Calling the Kettle Black
An Eagle whose name is Don Henley
To media isn’t so friendly
He wrote “Dirty Laundry”
Left press in a quandary
But sneers at the poor from his Bentley
*Written May 11, 2014
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
bird, cat, irony,
CAGE RAGE
That conniving bird Tweety Pie
Hoodwinked me and told me a lie
Said I’d take centre stage
If I crept in his cage
Imprisoned, I’m here till I die!
Written by
Anna Makoujy
Categories:
funny,
Dancing To the Tune of the Donkey
The once was a lass with no class.
She was the world's biggest horse's ass.
Yet the irony remains,
that the girl with all the brains,
listened to the lass with no class.