A nudist whose first name was Billy
Got stung by a bee on his willy
It swelled to a great size
One he couldn’t disguise
So he hid by a meadow lily
At picnics Sue's legs are akimbo
No panties, but Sue ain't no bimbo
It keeps pesky flies
Landing on our pies
Our days out are never in limbo!
Your best New Limerick Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin
When God made the beasts, in days of old
It seems He lacked quality control
That surely would veto
The cursed mosquito
And preclude all that itching untold
Lunch as an insect in the fog
Flying in a swamp by a log
For a starving toad
Though surely he's slowed
To a speedy tongue of a frog
There was a beekeeper named Jives
Who found a rash on his thighs.
The doctor said be at peace,
Nothing to fear in the least.
You simply have too many hives.
Don’t forget the insect repellent
Mosquitoes can cause such discontent
These bugs make me itch
Watch me swat and twitch
The cost of “Off” is money well spent
Written April 3, 2014
There's a word that is called "mosquito"
When I here it, it's pretty annoying
I think of insects
buzzing round me
and sucking all my blood!
I just won't let this happen
I wouldn't want to itch
could we be friends
and make a deal
and leave each other ALONE!
In his fancy hotel room James found bed bugs
at first he thought he was on too many drugs.
But they were real, moving about
he wanted to leave, get right out.
But a maid came and swept 'em under the rugs.
There once was a pesky fly
He kept buzzing 'round my eye
I gave him a whack
He fell on his back
Smack in my blueberry pie!
For the Insect contest..
Ellworth Ant thought marching was fun
With his good buddies, one by one
Tail next to nose
Never in rows
But some days the odor would stun
Ellworth Ant wished he could compete
to lead the assembled antfeet
That, not viewing antass'd be sweet
My mom and dad met in the gut of an insect!
As a kid, I was packed in a sac not so perfect;
When I am mature,
I make myself sure
To infect a human when the insect does inject
A tiny bug landed on Dumbo's nose
Eyed him warily, then stuck in a rose
Dumbo brushed it away
The bug wanted to stay
Dumbo loaded bug spray into 'his hose'
Skids McDaw demanded to have a beard
a desire that some thought weird.
It was ugly, scary
and made people wary
of creatures it hid that they feared.
There was a beekeeper named Floyd
who had thousands of bees deployed.
He neglected their hives
a threat to their lives.
Soon thereafter Floyd became void.
We are all very hungry so let’s eat.
Ready for some fresh red meat.
I did not know you would go so low.
You are after my big toe.
We are all very hungry so let’s meet
Those dirty little mosquitoes cause many a virus
Malaria, west nile, yellow fever and elephantiasis
Don't mean to make light
At the last one, I looked twice
Parts of my body could benefit from enlarging twice
I do not like how bed bugs prey
They feast upon us night and day
Praise God be kind
Grant peace of mind
And blow those blood-suckers away!
rumble bumblebee in flight
little ball of dynamite
winged pollen hoarder
with your sweet nectar
honey soothes my appetite
AP: Honorable Mention 2020
Posted on October 27, 2018
A young girl with ants in her pants
Was doing a strange kind of dance
We yelled, "Take 'em off!"
She snarled back a scoff:
"Its Utah! That's nowhere near France!!
FISHERMAN & Worm Gon Fishin
A Fisherman comes
Reached on the ground
Picks up Itchy-Bitzy worm
That's texting on his phone
Open mouth Catfish sayin yummy
Go on Fisherman drop him
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr.2018©
The bee keeper saw a queen bee on a boulder
He said, "How pretty!", and put it on his shoulder
That's why today
They always say,
"Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder!"
There once was a bee with a stinger
Who spread honey as far's he could sling her
He sucked on a rose
It came out of his nose
And stuck fast to the queen's middle finger
Donald Trump is an old Plutocrat
Living high on the hog like a gnat
But Disney was first
To notify Hearst
That Pluto's a dog, not a rat!
A wood bee only eats wood and it's free
If I said, "That would be the life for me!"
Would I be poetic
Or just pathetic
Or would a would be, wood bee, be what I'd be?
I suppose God already knows
Fire Ants are all over my toes
With gnats in my eyes
Relieved by May Flies
Mosquitoes evade all my blows