Written by
John Smith
Categories:
satire
Expensesgate
Political life isn't cheap
moats are costly to clean when their deep
big bucks for a porn movie
and a duck house thats groovy,
it's enough to make Gordon Brown weep.
Written by
Linda Alice Fowler
Categories:
celebration, fantasy, halloween, holiday, humor, silly,
Now You Know Jack
There once was a cool guy named Jack
Jack o’ lanterns attacked his back
Witch Cate blew straight through
Umbrella askew
She saved the famed wizard Jack Black
*The House with a Clock in Its Walls
Written by
Judy Ball
Categories:
animal, cat,
Three Cats In a House
Three cats did share the same house.
Two sweet but one was a grouse.
Two got along great but the third t'was love/hate.
But there isn't a mouse in the house.
Written by
Paul Schneiter
Categories:
crush, longing, lust,
Undone
Randolph Riggs was a house cleaner
who hungered for MrsMcGleaner.
He made an advance
and unbelted his pants.
It's been ages since he's seen her.
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
relationship,
The White House Leak
By the eerie light of a lamp
He made busy fondling a vamp
Who sat on his lap
To take a quick nap
when KA-BOOM her knickers went damp!
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
house,
Sir Prize
There once was a silly Billy
Who fancied a certain filly
But horsing around
He suddenly found
She sported a bigger willie
Written by
Elaine George
Categories:
humorous,
Jack and Jill
An old gal known to us all as Jill
Who lived in an old house on a hill
Going out for a stroll
Ended up in a roll
With jack at the bottom of the still
Written: June 2nd, 2014
For Bawdy, Bawdy, Miss Clawdy Contest
Written by
T Wignesan
Categories:
history, Grandson,
Limerick: Once the Great Grandson of Queen Victoria
Limerick: Once the Great Grandson of Queen Victoria
Once the great grandson* of Victoria
Heir to the throne of tsarist Russia
Saved by “Doc” Rasputin
Killed by Lenin-Stalin
Lo! Heir to Queen Vic’s haemophilia!
*Tsarevich Alexei of the Romanov royal house.
© TWignesan – Paris, 2013
Written by
James Marshall Goff
Categories:
animals
Homer the House Cat
He called himself Homer the house cat
And mostly ate tuna with pork fat
After lunch he'd meow
'Nearly upchuck his chow!
And grin like an overstuffed wombat!
Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
animals
Play Dog
In my house lives a talking dog, Fred,
who just loves playing games with my head.
As one day I cried,
thinking surely he’d died,
he said, “Geeez, girl,I’m just playing dead!”
For Deb's Limerick II contest
Written by
Cheryl Hoffman
Categories:
business, humor,
Pioneer Woman
Tough broads with long skirts moving out west,
circling wagons never getting any rest,
now I'm on tv,
wrangling up recipes,
plus sell house wares that are simply the best!
12-11-16
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
funny, humor,
Limerick Joke Vi
An Irishman with a syndrome
Climbed onto my roof like a gnome
Said I with a stare
What thou wants isn’t there
Drinks are not on the house in this home!
Written by
John Smith
Categories:
animals,
Chicken Soup
I chase him round the hen house; gape on,
hens I picture hot chicken soup on
I put on spectacles,
cut off his testicles;
now, use-ter be rooster's my capon.
Written by
Cecilia Macfarlane
Categories:
funny, money, stress,
Charge It
I only just begun to charge
Impulsive buys are way too large
My credit card sighs
While bankbook cries
My pay cheque I need to enlarge
*So many things to buy since I bought a house, but I really am a wise shopper : )
Written by
Tim Smith
Categories:
humorous,
Body For Rent
Jack put his ol body out for rent
His wife got mad and did vent
Threw him out of the house
Now he lives with a mouse
In a 1940's pup tent
Written by
Seren Roberts
Categories:
funny,
What a Boar - Limerick Contest
There was a man with a shovel
Whose house was a relative hovel
Digs a hole in the floor
Think his dad was a boar
Cos he cant stop sniffing for truffle
Penned 17 August 2013
Written by
Segun Ogundeko
Categories:
children
The Giant Lumberjack
There was a very old giant lumberjack of England,
who was invited to dinner at a wood-house upland,
but the chimney was a wee bit low,
and the doorway came up to his toe,
he cut down the house and they dined on bare land.
Written by
T Wignesan
Categories:
crazy,
Limerick: Once a Nanny Looked For a Manny-Mannie
Limerick : Once a Nanny looked for a Manny/Mannie
Once a Nanny looked for a Manny
And found the father of her Kiddie
Poor Cuckold gave assent
With his Girlie’s consent
Now all five live in One Bliss House free.
© TWignesan – Paris, 2013
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
cute love, humorous,
Overheard On the White House Wall
Overheard by flies on the White House wall
During Bubba's tete-a-tete with his moll.
"Order extra salami
And a tad more pastrami
Fer my pizza on yer next service call!"
Entry for Andrea Dietrich's Limerick Contest
Written by
Jack Horne
Categories:
mystery
Wayne the Builder
There once was a builder called Wayne,
Who built a new house on a plain,
But his wife took fright
On their wedding night:
He’d forgotten the roof again.
*my theory on Stonehenge : )
Written by
Adam Wheaton
Categories:
funny
My Attempt At a Limerick
the neighbor's grass is always greener
and their house is always cleaner
but just remember
that come December
their family won't be any leaner
Written by
Barbara Gorelick
Categories:
funny, house, house,
A Pink Oops
Inebriated Bob painted his house bright pink
His poor neighbors raised a hell-of-a stink
Then in October
Finally got sober
Took one look at the house and asked for a drink
For the Tickle Me Pink contest
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
humor, political,
Sevastopol Usa
Arizona's part of Ukraine
The home of Senator McCain
He'd gladly start shootin'
At Vladimir Putin
Since this terrain's in his domain
Author's note: Senator McCain and Cindy have a vacation house and natural gas pipeline interests in Crimea, but now they are banned from there.
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
political,
Doing Nothing
While political folks dilly dally
Job growth winds down a deep valley
Employers won't hire
Old folks can't retire
The poor house could be our finale
Written by
Paul Schneiter
Categories:
crush, drink, love hurts,
Drowning
John was losing his mind over Mary.
For days by her house he would tarry.
But she knew him not
Giving him no thought.
Now he lives on rye whiskey and sherry.