Written by
Thvia Shetley
Categories:
funeral, funny, sports,
A Golf Limerick
While a man was golfing in Fife
a funeral cortege was arife,
his head bowed in prayer
at this somber affair
to pay last respects to his wife!
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
golf, political,
Plunk Flunk
Trump went to the golf course today
But nobody wanted to play
When someone yelled, "Fore!"
Trump thought they yelled, "Whore!"
And proudly stood in the ball's way
Written by
Gary Smith
Categories:
humorous, rude,
Dude From Bude
There once was a fellow from Bude
Who loved to play golf in the nude,
Someone quipped "that thing,
Has a hell of swing,
He sure is one well equipped dude."
Entry for
Make Me Laugh Limerick Contest Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin.
29/8/2019
Written by
Donald Williams
Categories:
sports, golf,
Golf Limerick
There was a man from faraway lands.
He held a golf club in his right hand.
He said this to me.
What is that I see?
No club in your mitt, or ball to hit.
-For Contest Golf Limerick
Written by
Martin Kloess
Categories:
golf, humor, sports,
A Golfer's Tale
Was out playing golf just for fun
With Father O’Toole in the sun
When club from hand burst
Hit priest as he cursed
And I hit his first holy one
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
abuse, baseball, basketball, bullying, culture, golf, hockey,
Hawkers
Hyperbole is a sports cast
Announcers have egos so vast
My ears must have rest
From this lambasting pest
Collection of morons amassed
Author's note: Is it getting worse, or is it just me?
Written by
Sheri Fresonke Harper
Categories:
caregiving, devotion, funny, health, miracle, passion, sports, success,
Slow Golf
Golfers ahead were really slow
because their dead balls just wouldn't go
we offered them beer,
later we found cheer--
they stepped aside to let it outflow.
Written by
Thabang Ngoma
Categories:
fathers day, golf, memory,
Golf Day This Dad
You drove the ball high
It flew and touched the sky
I heard, “FORE!"
And ducked therefore
But the ball hit my thigh
Some of the things mom never knew happened;-)
Written by
David Fisher
Categories:
funny, sports, golf,
Shout 'Foreplay'
I learned to golf the following way;
That after each stroke you shout, ‘foreplay!’
Then when you get up
You shoot for the cup,
And if asked give an instant replay.
For Craig's Golf Limerick contest
Written by
Wren Rushing
Categories:
golf,
The Truth Hurts
I'm a lonely golf ball lost in the wood,
hit by a golfer that's not very good.
Honestly I swear,
I don't think he cares.
Maybe taking a few lessons he should.
7/11/21
Written by
Joshua Lacey
Categories:
funny
Don'T Fool Around! (Ode To Golf)
Whack that ball; don't hit a tree
Be conked out in the head you see!
And don't hit into the rough
Oh my gosh; that sure is tough!
Or maybe in "the zone" you'll be!
Written by
James Horn
Categories:
golf,
Legacy of Arnold Palmer Limerick
Legacy of Arnold Palmer
What a great golfer he had been
At or below par hitting ball in
Always something about Arnold Palmer
You played more steady and were calmer
On day in heaven will see him again.
Jim Horn
Written by
Thabang Ngoma
Categories:
golf,
Par Three
I tee for the green
a five iron - cheap - I'm in
a hole in one!
If money be a sin
Then the green is won
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
animal, giggle, golf,
Par For the Course - a Bit Bawdy
There is a golfer from Lima, Peru
On each of his balls, a llama tattooed
Up and down his scores jump
Like a llama's big hump
As soon as his fans cheer, they have to boo
Written by
Cecilia Macfarlane
Categories:
funny, sports,
Dick's Club
Dick was a guy with a suave golf club
Who only used it to eat his grub
Sportsman he portrayed
Golf he should have played
For now he cannot fit in his tub
3/28/2013
Craig's contest
Written by
Elton Camp
Categories:
funny,
The Golf Practice
The Golf Practice
By Elton Camp
Sue hit the ball with a mighty swing
Didn’t know problems it would bring
Although Ms Sue had called out “Fore,”
It crashed through a window next door
The owner yelled at her, “Stupid thing.”
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
satire, work
The Golf Swinger
National Enquirer’s the source
When a Tiger’s balls go off course
A scorecard obscene
Of links far from the green
That just might be cause for divorce
Written by
David Fisher
Categories:
funny, games, golf,
Desert Golfing
When playing desert golf I parch easy
Which then means I don’t get pars easy
So when I am done
I hide from the sun
And play eighteen whole games of Parcheesi
Written by
Barbara Gorelick
Categories:
funny, sports,
For the Love of Golf
As poor Bob left to play the short nine
His nagging old wife began to whine
"Its golf or its me!"
"With that I agree!"
His lawyer told her just where to sign....
3/28/13
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
age,
A Glass We Raise
Visited my 90 year old brother-in-law yesterday
Puts me to shame, good for at least another ten I'd say
Golf he still plays
Still a joker I'd say
To this amazing creature, a glass we raise
© Jack Ellison 2016
Written by
Seren Roberts
Categories:
funny,
Mickey and Minnie
In a bunker having his way
When a golf ball took his breath away
Got struck on the head
Minnie groaned and said
Mick is this what they call fore play
Penned April 5 2013
Written by
David De La Croes
Categories:
humorous,
Golf Limerick
The was a young golfer whose mother
Constantly around him would flutter.
All over each green,
Her antics were seen,
Until he thumped her with his putter!
2 April 2013.
Written by
James Study
Categories:
fun, golf, sports,
A Golf Tale
Into the ground the ball on tee I push
With a mighty swing the club went whoosh
This I will share
The ball still there
But my club did sail into the bush
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
golf, humorous, war,
What Did You Do In the War, Daddy
"What did you do in the big war, Daddy?"
(Is often asked by a soldier's laddie.)
"I'm proud you asked me that son;
I packed a golf bag and gun,
Since I was the Gen'ral's guard and caddy!"
Written by
Charles Clive
Categories:
sports,
Formal Request
They all heard him say in Calcutta,
addressing the ball, with his putter,
"Before we begin,
I'd quite like to win,
so please, pop it in," he would mutter.
~
For Craig's 'Golf Limerick' Competition.