This old sea-rig is swamped and don't float
I TOLD you we'd need a bigger boat!
Now you are HIS prize
Sure ain't no surprise
That you're fish-food, you hard-headed goat!
"Jaws" - 1975
There once was a man,
Who carved him a boat.
It was out of the cheese,
That he milked from his goat.
The first one he failed,
So he made him a note.
Never use Swiss,
Because it won’t float!
A born disciplinarian
Should have been a librarian
Shame about her crazy wit
Not everyone understands that bit
An avid libertarian…
Contest: Zodiac Race
He-goat said"Mum place yourself for mounting"
She frowned that he has no fear for Dad`s thing,
Not afraid of Daddy`s hit,
He`s prepared for this fast fit,
ready to use condom for this kicking.
Written: by Tom Wright
I once had a Billy Goat, past tense,
That feeding made very little sense.
So I sold him of course,
And had little remorse,
For I couldn’t keep him in the fence
Limerick : Once a Bengal Tigress supped on a Goat
Once a Bengal Tigress supped on a Goat
The horns – pardon – got stuck in her throat
A Dentist pulled one out
The other by a Scout
Now – sad to say – Both made her bloat.
© TWignesan – Paris, 2013
It’s Butchering Time
I once watched a long-haired goat,
In a race for its life with a shoat
The goat stuck out his chin,
And by whiskers did it win,
And then had the audacity to gloat.
Lofty was a very large giraffe
he got ill from standing in a draught,
got a very sore throat
and sounded like a goat
funny to see a giraffe look daft.
Contest funny poem for a seven year old
Sponsored by Kevin Shaw.
Once there was a good man called Doss, the Boss
scape goat for all, tried even by all idiot asses
no idiot will see him as intellect nor ass
all see some dimension of ignorance
bloody what ignorance could an ignorant see in doss?
My neighbour's goat is called Billy.
He is starting to drive me silly.
He keeps nibbling my bush.
If I give him a douche.
He might stop then, will he??
I had a goat whose name was Billy
who grazed in places that were hilly
he never complained
in sunshine or rain
and he even ate all of the lilies
But one day Billy got into the pot
and then he stumbled around like a sot
He ate all my weed
he was greedy indeed
So now he is stewing with the carrots
There was a man from Gloat
He snuck behind a goat
He had a bit of pot
Flanked the animals blind spot
Roger rammed it up to it’s throat
Super rodeo star, Buster Tyding,
Has, reportedly, gone into hiding.
Seems he fractured his pride,
Landing on his backside,
When thrown by the goat he was riding.
It's not very nice to gloat
When anybody rocks somebodies boat,
But some people are bad
And I am glad,
When it's Trump's, a senile old goat!
I confessed to a priest of some note
That last night I made love to a goat
He said,"Son, that is bold,
and it's good for the soul -
But it's more load than I care to tote."
If I was a Rocky Mountain Goat
I would wear a furry overcoat.
I would walk rocks
Ignore all clocks
And jump off cliffs onto river boats.
A tenant farmer strummed one note
That some would argue Chopin wrote
Neighbours heard that sound
And plowed up his ground
Monotony sure got their goat!
There once was a goat named Billy Bob Brown
Who sang horribly off-key when he danced through town
One day while singing, someone grabbed a long pole,
And pushed Billy Bob into a large hole,
Now Billy Bob no longer sings as he dances around.
There once was a sad little goat
Who cried me a river to float
It's my only fear
To drown in his tears
But the happy folks got a boat!
There once was a nanny,* lived in New Guinea
She's spot her billy, O would she whinny
She'd kick up her feet
And then she would bleat
She'd curl the hair on his chin-chin-chinny
*A nanny is a female goat
There once was a short man from New Haven
with collection of stamps he’d been sav’en
He put out on display
Neighbor's goat came his way
and chewed up stamps with much misbehav’en
There once was a goofball named Larvin
He lived on a race track in Marchin.
he laughed like a big goat,
With a sore, coughy throat,
That scared all the kids in Ak-Sar-Ben
Poised on a farm in Carolina
Not labeling yields “made in China”
There lived a cow and goat
With milk they couldn’t promote
Because their best milk caused angina
Funny, Bawdy or Humorous Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Tania Kitchin
May 14, 2023
When Jesus stopped in for a bite,
The barkeep near fell out with fright:
“I’ve got some goat cheese,
But no fish and chips, please!
Last time, that was it for the night!”
An idea which we found was really remote;
Eventually they would try to get our goat;
Our coats grab,
And catch cab;
No time to Trump did I decide to devote.