Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
cinco de mayo, drink,
What to do on May 5th
Since Mexico cast off the French
Make sure a Corona to clench
And forgo the Merlot
On Cinco de Mayo
But buy beer which can a thirst quench
Written by
Ed Morris
Categories:
french, funny, humor, humorous,
An American In Paris
When Toby removed to Paree
The people all called him Tobee.
“That’s not me,” he’d plead,
Then finally concede
To be, not to be not, Tobee.
Written by
Harry Horsman
Categories:
satire,
Hogan's Heroes
One is going back a bit with this hit
Three Americans one French and a Brit
They made fools of the Hun
Without a single gun
In a P.O.W camp brimming with wit.
© Harry J Horsman 2022
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
humorous,
Ruth Shall Make You Free
Americans come by the clock
A British lass just hikes her frock
The French love a tongue
The Swedes like well-hung
But Left or Right Thai knows Bangkok!
Written by
John Smith
Categories:
history,
Guillotine
Robespierre, Danton and all of those
crazy French revolution 'heroes'
had thousands guillotined
by La Machine that gleaned
heads; then 'offed' their own midst their wild throes.
Written by
Roy Jerden
Categories:
humorous,
The Well Traveled Linguist
A ventriloquist there was named Monique
Who could make all of her body parts speak
Her right hand did British
Her left handled Yiddish
Down below she liked French and took Greek
Written by
T Wignesan
Categories:
humor,
Limerick: Once a Tennis Woman Named Sue Baule
Limerick : Once a Tennis Woman named Sue Baule
Once a Tennis Woman named Sue Baule
Tried to avoid being called : « Screw Ball ! »
So she got her haïr cut
In the shape of a snout
Since at French Open gets dubbed : « Screwed Doll ! »
© TWignesan – Paris, 2013
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
food, passion,
French Fries
Okay I hereby confess to you guys
All my life I've had a craving for fries
Could eat a whole ton
Can't stop at just one
Ladies warned me, they go straight to my thighs
© Jack Ellison 2015
Written by
Kim Merryman
Categories:
friend, funny, magic,
Lizzie and Hal
LIZZIE was an incompetent witch,
Who was helping friend HAL from a ditch.
Her magic she tried,
Poor HAL was french-fried,
Left wearing not one single stitch.
5/21/15
For Catie Lindsey's L & H Limerick contest
Written by
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Categories:
political, social
Down In Dunkirk
The once was a man from Dunkirk.
The war came and he went berserk.
In the French battle field,
Local harlots did yield.
Escape came by fancy footwork.
© January 16, 2011
Dane Smith-Johnsen
Written by
Tim Smith
Categories:
humorous,
Onion Breath
Got me a burger with raw onion piled high
A super-sized soda and a sack of french fries
Stomach starts to chirp
So let out a burp
An odor starts to linger like I was bout to die
Written by
John Williams
Categories:
funny, health,
Fast Food Fat Attack
A hamburger with the lot,
Is where all the fat got,
French fries are the same,
Cheeseburgers too pretty lame,
They all make your arteries clot.
Written by
T Wignesan
Categories:
grandfather, humorous,
Limerick: Once a Lonely Grand-Dad In a Log-Jam
Limerick : Once a Lonely Grand-Dad in a Log-Jam
Once a Lonely Grand-Dad in a Log-Jam
Paid an urgent visit to a Grande-Dame*
She lifted the stuck log
During Pea-Souper smog
Damn ! Got carried down Grand-Dad Rapids – Wham !
* Dame : pronounced as in French
© TWignesan – Paris, 2013
Written by
Quentin Ehlinger
Categories:
humorous,
Girl In the French Quarter
Dere once was a goil in da Quawta
Who never did do what she oughtta.
She stripped down one night
--Dat was really a sight--
Till NOPD come and caughtta!
Written by
Elton Camp
Categories:
food
A Meal At Mickey D's
A Meal at Mickey D’s
By Elton Camp and Maria Camp
Ah, food I ate at Mickey D’s
The fat and salt, they always please
French fries, they advised
Better if super-sized
Never mind heart disease
Written by
John Smith
Categories:
girlfriend-boyfriend,
Enjamb Me
My girlfriend climbs on one knee and en-
jambs me; ecstasy Her elation
is so, so delicious;
so very capricious;
poetic female domination
*Enjambement is French: straddle, bestride It's also a poetry term.
Written by
T Wignesan
Categories:
dance, humor,
Limerick: Once Our Senorita From Sevilla - 12
Limerick : Once our Senorita from Sevilla – 12
Once our Senorita from Sevilla
Entered a dance contest in Bahia
Others danced the salsa
Rita dirty samba
Since Sevilla sells the new dance : Salsamba !*
• « Sal » in French means « dirty ».
© TWignesan – Paris, 2013
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
kiss, sexy,
Kissing Lips
Buddy began to call his girl 'Hot Lips'
The day she started to swivel her hips --
He let out a wolf whistle
She French-licked his stiff thistle --
Then lasciviously kissed velvet whips
December 13, 2019
Kissing Contest Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Bobby May
Written by
T Wignesan
Categories:
humor,
Limerick: Once Monsters From Fearful Mother-Villes
Limerick : Once Monsters from fearful Mother-Villes
Once Monsters from fearful Mother-Villes
Forgive the lapsus, I meant : Moths-Drills
Not that They ate but flies
But also butter flies
Though lately added French fries with frills.
© TWignesan – Paris, 2013
Written by
T Wignesan
Categories:
humor, husband,
Limerick: Once a Toro In a Madrid Prairie
Limerick : Once a Toro in a Madrid prairie
Once a Toro in a Madrid prairie
Wondered why it had two horns, not three
Spaniards signal cuckold
With two fingers all told
So three for Spanish husbands in Paris ?*
*Paris : pronounced in French as : Parie/Paree
© TWignesan – Paris, 2013
Written by
T Wignesan
Categories:
natural disasters, , cute,
Limerick: Once French Demoiselle In Bikini
Limerick: Once French Demoiselle in Bikini
Once French Demoiselle in Bikini
Lived Moulin Rouge life en catimini
Cute Eye of Hurricane
Saw through naughty Jane/Jeanne:
No use for bikini in Bikini.
© TWignesan – Paris, 2013
Written by
Lindsay Laurie
Categories:
humor,
Slow Menu
French cuisine for some see it crude.
Eating snails appear horribly lewd,
but well known in France,
its folk took a stance,
as the French cannot stand fast food.
Written by
Tahera Mannan
Categories:
funny
Chess
The white and black squares with bishops and knights
Whether English or French, just can't get right
My pieces can't stand his defence
There’s King and Queen, but no Prince
To help me checkmate and end this boring fight
Written by
Tina Thornton
Categories:
food,
Ronald
Ronald was a young man so bold,
his father McDonald will mold.
He had bright red hair,
and french fries to share,
and that’s how the story was told.
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
french, funny, sexy,
Rock On
A Welsh Girl who loved Rock 'N Roll
Had little or no self-control
She flew off to France
Where she split her pants
Astraddle Le Grand Merhin Dol