A desperate spinster, Jane took
strong measures the day she would cook
fresh troutHer date bit
the barb left in it!
He truly was caught on her hook!
A merman had one stubborn daughter
who rebelled against what her dad taught her.
When she swam to dry land,
she could then understand
she was just like a fish - out of water!
For the Out of Water Poetry Contest of Sheri Fresonke Harper
The lawsuit by StarKist is valid.
Their long time promoter’s new ballad
warns fish to stay clear
of fisherman’s pier,
or end up in somebody’s salad!
Oldie For Carolyn Devonshire's Sea Tales Limericks
Entered Nov 20, 2020 for the 'QUIN-TO your five line' Poetry Contest
Cousin Bell moved into a maisonette,
Was promptly told she could not have a pet
Not a cat or dog
Not a fish or frog
What about a gorilla she just met?
The Japanese love puffer fish
Although it is a toxic dish
Despite their endeavour
Our Jan tells us, "NEVER!"
A fish that farts is not her wish
Just had a thought, how about this
What would it be like to kiss a fish
Not very appealing
Might send me reeling
Number six thousand, four hundred and eight on my list
The bigger the hole, the bigger the fish,
The better the hope, the better the wish,
That's not a fish, that's a whale,
Much too big a fish to scale,
But one thing for sure, get a bigger dish.
I once enjoyed a movie on a shark.
His bite much bigger than a dogs bark.
In the ocean JAWS scared more than fish.
A bite so deep no one could stitch.
With teeth so sharp, always leaving a mark..
FIRST LIMERICK EVER..
The mermaids ball music still lingers
Swordfish Fred and his shoal of sweet singers
Had a whale of a time
On the octopus slime
Caressed by their salty fish-fingers
If I had but one wish
I would want back my pet fish.
For my uncle came to town
And in mother's dressing gown,
Served him on her favorite dish.
All the reptiles gathered 'round
When Elmer the frog hopped into town.
There never was such boastful glee
As Elmer croaked his history,
Then from his pad fell and drowned.
A fat bluefin tuna down deep
Was fished out one night when asleep
He was looking quite pale
Had escaped a big whale
To be Sushi for one Meryl Streep
for Carolyn Devonshire's Limerick on Sea Tales competition
This old sea-rig is swamped and don't float
I TOLD you we'd need a bigger boat!
Now you are HIS prize
Sure ain't no surprise
That you're fish-food, you hard-headed goat!
"Jaws" - 1975
I can’t understand the ambition
Of people who love to go fishin’.
Outsmarting your dinner
Might say you’re a winner,
But what when you fail in that mission?
There was a hungry saddle-billed stork,
That went for a wading walk,
With his long stout bill
He caught fish at will,
It sure made the other birds gawk.
To the lake to the lake
Fish to fry clams to bake.
This has been grandmother's cry
Now on birthdays she brings rye,
If just once she'd bring a cake.
There's an ocean of plastic waste
Which Trump claims just adds to the taste
Marine life is best
When put to the test
Besides who can tell in fish paste?
I wake up and shower,
look at myself in the mirror,
And say "What the? Where did the time go?"
Mom adores when I do the dishes
If I don't, I'll swim with the fishes
Then my mama will win
She'll never cook again
She'll eat sushi that is delicious
Grandpa was a jolly old winker.
And I was a nine year old stinker.
He was a fish getter
But I did him one better...
I caught Grandpa..hook, line, and sinker!
I once heard of a young fish named, Felipe
Who floated up to consider a leap
His friends did shout
For him to jump out
But he was afraid the air was too deep
If I were to go fishing all day,
would you get mad and send me away,
'cause while the fish were biting
my ex was out man-sighting...
I ended up with no place to stay.
Once there was a woman called Curry Mean “the Queen”
Her persuasive dialog “you shut upI mean what I mean”
“It’s really mean to find the mean
of the extremes queen and Dean”
bloody “extreme idiot” is no fair word to accuse Curry Mean!
////”Curry Mean” is Sea fish to cook//////
From a low, wind-swept bridge almost color beige,
I toss my fishing cane made in Anchorage,
hoping to catch some fish soon...
as I scorch in the hot noon;
if I failed again, it would increase my rage!
Well oh well, can you imagine this
This old duffer is a master of the kiss
Many years experience
Made me quite fastidious
World renowned for my wet fish kiss