An elephant fell out of bed
And got a huge bruise on his head
He climbed back in his bunk
Then rubbed his aching trunk…
Best sleep in the low bunk instead!
If I were an elephant
I would marry my mahout man
Would fly very high
Up in the blue sky
Then fall down in a skeleton
She looks like death on a crippled spider
Hips like an elephant, maybe wider
My friends came over and saw
My ugly mother-in-law
Next time they come they want me to hide her
Elmo Elmo was an elephant seller
He kept a white elephant in the cellar
He swigged all the bottles
Down a hundred throttles
And was turned into a big screw propeller
Elmo Elmo (C) rajat kanti chakrabarty
Crazy joe had an elephant,
who he rode with some elegance,
until he wound up in his trunk
and into the drink was dunked
and cursed it's smiling arrogance
The elephant told the mouse
'I am sick of your grouse'
The mouse wagged its tail
Brought a bunch of cat's mail
'Look! all's written to your spouse'.
No matter a man's call or profession
He must use all the proper protection
Ask the zookeeper why
For he lost his left eye
When the elephant got an erection
Made for Bawdy
Poetry II Contest on
Merry blue dressed Bob, the builder,
Please return my reddish toy rooster,
I’ll give you my toy elephant,
A bubbly grey buoyant infant,
He is a long nosy mister.
An elephant asked her for a massage
She said, You’re huge; we will use the garage
That massage took three ladies
Who had very fine paydays
Not to mention the wildest troi menage
Elly the elephant thought her life was tough,
making ends meet was getting rough,
she was nervous,
left the circus,
a days pay of peanuts packed in her trunk.
I sat under an oak tree in fall
I must have fell asleep I recall
I awoke on a boat
with a frog in my throat
an elephant making a trunk call.
Contest surreal and daft
Sponsored by Kevin Shaw.
If an Elephant were crossed with a Rhino
What offspring would this union bestow
If you're asking me
what it would be
my answer is - EL-IF-I-NO!
Written by Gail DeBole on
March 10, 2020
An elephant in Zimbabwe
Hi-fived with a soft trunky sway.
Then wanting to play
She continued her day
With a hug for the human who waved.
Does anyone know how Jumbo The Elephant died?
Hit by a freight train, succumbed quickly, no dry eyes
Poor thing had no chance
His soul made a ghost dance
People around reacted with sadness, quietly cried
Have you ever pondered why chickens can't snore
Or why elephants can't jump all four feet off the floor
Chickens don't have noses
In fact they don't have toesies
And if an elephant could jump, it would destroy the decor
Cross an elephant with a rhino
And create a noteworthy combo
But all are confused
As the name to be used
For this mix is an el-eph-i-no
zoologist richard gale
met an old thief reading braille
demanding he steal
an elephant seal
instead rich got a narwhal.
An elephant bee zoomed around my head
I had maniacal thoughts, wished him dead
His buzz annoying
Traitorous roses loved him, turning red.
There once was a light-skinned pachyderm
Who had a thing for a lowly worm
Sun-bathing on the hot sand
Elephant got quite a tan
Poor worm earned him a wiggly sunburn
Mitch McConnell just missed the boat
His elephant said - and I quote:
"It seems rather clear
The suckers are here
Giving Amy McGrath the vote!"
There is this baby elephant that is pink
Who washes her dainty feet in the sink
The sink is a mess
And so is her dress
I found her a cool app for that ~ Wink, Wink
Small businesses have gone kaput
But Donald Trump is so astute,
"That gives me the chills!
If I'd paid my bills
My suffering would be acute!"
Political standards are falling
To a point some say is appalling
The Elephant said:
"You've got to wear red
And knock on their door, "Aphid calling"!