I was blessed by a golden cash cow
She’s a wonderful friend to me now
For those in the know
She goes with the flow
Here’s my tribute, may she take a bow!
A bossy old cow in the street
was rolling while licking its teat!
When it howled like a cat,
I thought: What’s up with that?
Can bossy old cows be in heat?
Inspired by both a poem and the limerick contest of Jan Allison
once a cow named mckuen
her cud she was a chewn
we asked please explain
when she crossed our lane
shor beats standn n mooin
There was an old woman called Hattie
whose hubby's name for her was fattie.
So she cooked his goose
hung him from a noose
then buried him in a cow pattie!
I met an old prostitute Mary,
Resembling a cow in a dairy:
She lived to make whoopee,
Her udders were droopy,
With private parts smelly and hairy.
14th June for Roy’s Bawdy limericks II contest
There once was a fulani man,
whose cow was in society ban'.
He bought for't a book
which is greenish in look.
"These are leaves" said the fulani man.
The cow loved to chew her cud
As she lay in the cooling mud.
She was lazy you see,
As lazy as could be,
Some would even say she was a dud.
The man in the moon crooned such a tune
That the cow jumped over and mooned
But a methane gas
The bovine did pass
The man struck a match and kaboom!
Salad, salad, salad, every day of the year
To keep me thin and trim, it's not working I fear
You'd think by now
I'd be slimmer than a cow
This obsession for Big Macs is really severe
once a sheep dog named percy
licked a farmer quite slurply
then a homeless cow
with mimicked bowwow
licked them both without mercy
Talking to my wife about reincarnation
Creature be, be a creature sensation
Honestly what would you be
A cow your telling me
You obviously haven't been listening
Uncle Scrooge had lost his wallet
He went mad and chased a pullet
He fell down the glen
Ended in cow pen
Mr.Scrooge had to bite the bullet
His finger is really quite bare;
The ring is no longer on there,
But he's used to it now
And he sees she's a cow -
No dripping about her affair.
*dripping – beef fat or slang for whinging
for PD's contest
He promised to love me forever
Then again he was just being clever
He took back his love
So I gave him a shove
Headfirst in cow dung-my endeavor!
** for Indian Giver contest
sponsored by(Destroyer ((Poet
Mary had a little lamb, she also had a chicken
It's little beak hurt, but not as much as the lamb's kickin'
If she had a cow
Oh my love sure would go out to this munchkin
© Jack Ellison 2015
There once lived a lady in Greece
Who was always in trouble with police
Walking around nude
Like a cow she mooed
Offering young Greeks a taste of her t(r)eats
© Jack Ellison 2015
I'm on a big roll, so don't stop me now
My best stuff can be seen just over the next brow
Sometimes lose it quite quick
Writing it down is the trick
My memory stinks, it's no better than a cow
I had a cow with only one udder
She never gave milk to make my butter
Her udder was hard to pull
But I found out she's a bull
Thinking back now really makes me shudder
The cow was awful mad,
For the farmer forgot her lad.
So she got out of her stall,
And turned the farmer into a ball,
And played soccer with granddad!!!!!!!!
Your mouth noise is polluting the table
You sound like a cow in the stable
Must you slurp your spaghetti
Don't dare call me petty
Thank God we have TV with cable
Been chowing down Post Shredded Wheat
Since I was a young lad it's oh so sweet
Probably an acre by now
Milk from Bessie the cow
This breakfast supreme simply can't be beat
© Jack Ellison 2015
There was a young thin cow of Holland
She would love to laze around on hot sand
Eating grass was well past
She wanted to have a blast
By munching organic fruits freshly canned
Limerick : Once a dainty Milkmaid with hands like lead
Once a dainty Milkmaid with hands like lead
Milked a cow whose one eye was painted red:
She woke up terrified
Thought Dali Pasteurized:
Felt upturned moustache growing through her head!
© TWignesan – Paris, 2014
Filing your taxes is not much fun.
Do it right so it will be done.
Your money is gone now.
You should've bought a cow.
Beef is better than having none.
Entered in Carolyn Devonshire's"Tax time"contest
Standing in front of my closet right now
Wondering what I should wear, my assets to wow
Some manly attire
That girlies admire
Y'all know how I'm so sexually endowed