Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
conflict, humorous, relationship,
A Little Bird Told Me
Sue decided to send Jim a tweet
She used words that were quite indiscreet
Calling him a fat turd -
(Using another word)
Their romance has taken a back seat!
12~23~16
Written by
Lin Lane
Categories:
conflict,
Stranger In Milton Creek
A tall stranger rode into Milton Creek
Ragged scar ran across one eye and cheek
Mayor Tom drew his gun
"You best hightail and run!"
"Geeze! Okay! But first can I take a leak?"
April 28, 2023
Funny or Bawdy Limerick Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin
Written by
Vera Duggan
Categories:
age, conflict, courage, death, soldier, war,
Anzac Day
It's Anzac Day today
Or lads were sent away
To fight a war
And what the hell for
Because they had to pay
Written by
Andy Grassia
Categories:
adventure, america, animal, conflict, day, usa,
A Day At a Zoo
We went to the zoo
We met this tiger named sue
She was roaring at this man’s
arm
She clearly meant no harm
Maybe next time he should
cover his tiger tattoo
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
community, conflict, crazy, smile, storm, thank you, thanks,
To the Norm, Truck It
This Scottish guy never cares for the norm
It doesn't bother his ass, no matter the form
There's too much of this
And there's too much of that
Please write to the form, or suffer the storm
May I add this doesn't conform to the Syllable count.
Written by
Joyce Johnson
Categories:
conflict,
Bawdy Limericks
My mama taught me not to say
A naughty word, so stay away
With a bawdy game
That could bring me shame,
Or she won't let me out to play.
Written by
Eboni Croney
Categories:
boyfriend, break up, conflict, cry, first love, goodbye, teenage,
A Heart Misleaded
Met a guy who seemed perfect to me
For a period in time my heart could not see
He talked although his true feelings were not told
Every word of his turned into one that was cold
My heart could not take it so I set him free
Written by
Vera Duggan
Categories:
angst, children, conflict, corruption,
Act of Cruelty
Act of cruelty
I believe that an act of cruelty
Is to take away child’s security
So let it be said
When two people wed
Make sure it’s a certain surety.
18 April 2014 @ 0815hrs
Written by
Nyonglema Pisoh
Categories:
betrayal, boyfriend, child, children, conflict, feelings, girlfriend,
A Dull Three - Aka Adultery
Love lived in the hearts of Him and Her,
But distance shrouded fear over Her
And to punish Her reluctance
He gave another girl a chance
And she brought triplets nine months later.
(c) Nyonglema
Written by
Sandy Tadros
Categories:
beauty, conflict, confusion, creation, imagery, spiritual, world,
Beautiful Chaos
The Galaxy; This cluster of stars
The sea; This concealed beauty and scars,
The inevitable suffering, the desired alleviation
All these could be seen through her eyes' nation!
She was a beautiful chaos, more beautiful than Mars.
Written by
Sandy Tadros
Categories:
conflict, hurt, inspiration, love hurts, metaphor, snow,
Barefoot On the Snow
The sun told me it will rise again;
And send its warmth to the glen,
But it can't soften the coldness in your soul!
So I will walk barefoot on the snow buried in your whole:
Leaving my traces on your heart's lane.
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
conflict, humorous, people,
Telling Porkie Pies
This saying is simply divine
“You shouldn’t cast pearls before swine”
Some think they are cool
Then break ev’ry rule
Folk cheating are no friends of mine!
'Porkie Pies' is cockney rhyming slang for lies
11-02-17
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
conflict, poems, poetry, writing,
I Wrote Every Word Myself - Honest Gov
I’m POSITIVE I’ve read that before
Yes I’m certain, I really am sure
So if you get caught
You’ll be quite distraught
Be aware … soup could show you the door!
19th January 2016
Written by
Abdulhafeez Oyewole
Categories:
character, conflict, fear, horror, humor, life,
From Rocket To Little Town
There once was a knight from Rocket town
Who lured and let his amour men down
But on a night not too young
Nemesis caught up with Doung
When his archers incursed Little town.
Written by
Poet. Undertaker
Categories:
humor,
Face Book
Once there was an idiot called Blindbook,
invited conflict with his wife angrybook.
Claiming himself mad, dirty nut!
fired wife and children out.
bloody all for “status : single” in facebook.
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
conflict, war,
did it happen?
Two Nazis the partisans killed
For revenge a town's blood was spilled
Resistors forgot
Townsfolk would be shot
Where hell seems forever instilled
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
change, conflict, fate, giggle, humor, jealousy, moving on,
mcfee
once an elf named mcfee
tried to sleep in an tree
till its owl found out
and hooted a shout
mcfee you better flee.
Written by
Earl Schumacker
Categories:
abuse, adventure, celebrity, conflict, identity, religion, silly,
Vatican Incident - Limerick
Vatican Incident - Limerick
A young maiden dressed like a mannequin
Snuck into the church at the Vatican
To curse at the pontiff
So they called the sheriff
She would not be invited back again
Written by
Christopher Meyer
Categories:
conflict, confusion, culture, drink, inspirational, society, war,
Power Structure
A tall white wanted some coffee
So he sent his guards off walking
The guards came back
With some vodka and craps
Now the whites no longer have handle
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
conflict, humorous, sports,
Boiled Sprat
A truculent woman named Jools
was discovered cheating at boules
Tossing balls in the air
Jools was heard to declare
oh those rules are just made for fools!
***a little poetic licence as I understand boules is pronounced 'bull'***
06-30-17
Written by
Joe Maverick
Categories:
absence, abuse, analogy, conflict,
Greater Hate Hath No Man
At a bunker in coastal Ukraine
Filth and death; now sadly do reign
With wide open wounds
Many might well die soon
Yet They've never of covid complained
Written by
Sallam Yassin
Categories:
conflict, life, boy,
Cowboy
Cowboy mind
(Your life
Or your money)
In a cycle of years
Grabbing every penny
You never became rich
I never became ditch
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
conflict,
A Serious Limerick
It's hard to imagine what goes through the mind
Of someone willing to end their life for a cause defined
It's a mystery to me
I'm unable to see
Justification for this horrendous act of man's decline
Written by
Luke Irwin
Categories:
anxiety, conflict,
Just Jump
Under what kind of circumstance,
Are you willing to take such a chance?
You just have to leap,
If the plan is to reap,
Results are not shown in advance.
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
conflict, daughter, humorous, parents,
The Name Game - Who Is To Blame - Bawdy Limerick
A woman whose name is Tess Tickle
Gets upset and in a right pickle
Folks make fun of her name
(Thoughtless parents to blame)
Her respect for them is quite fickle
4/17/18