Out in the woods Trump took a nap
Under an oak dripping of sap
pants to his knees
what a big sleaze
Fresh beaver still caught in his trap
*I do not endorse this message and no actual
beavers were hurt in this poem
The tail of a beaver, bill of a duck
yet they pull it off with honor and pluck
made with spare parts
they capture our hearts
with DNA tests that read WTF
for Any Animal Or Creature Limerick Poetry Contest
A young lad masquerading as an old geezer
Looking for a lady who owns a mature beaver
One with mucho bucks
Still able to cluck
And willing to take pity on a geezer still eager
David and Ricky were cute, at best
Bud Anderson was a clueless pest
But that enduring, fun rascal
our dear Eddie Haskell
provided a refreshing, honest zest!
On A Lim Contest
Sponsor: Joseph May
from the TV show "Leave It To Beaver"
One day a wolf sat,
Awaiting a tasty cat.
Then he spotted a beaver;
His teeth, they cleaved her;
He’s in heaven now…bear attacked!
I started the day wholly fresh and free
Allowing this flu to envelope me
I sparked a fever
Puked up a beaver
Waiting for the day I’ll heal so fully
Entrant into ~Gwendolen~'s "The Sneezing Limerick Contest"
One day, a wolf sat,
By a babbling brook,
Awaiting a tasty snack.
He spotted a beaver,
His teeth, they cleaved her
Then by hungry bear, he was attacked;
Now he’s in Heaven without his pack.
There once was this little old lamb
Who wanted to live in a dam
But a wise beaver
Said I can’t be a weaver
Friends are choices, unlike a fam!
Oh you poor dear, no comments either?
Maybe you were a little to hard on the beaver.
I’m sure some you will get.
You are their prized pet.
Just like Eddy Haskell and Ward Cleaver.
You've heard the expression, “works like a beaver”
Well ladies of the night are called “beaver retrievers”
They make big bucks
Sure enjoy their time (I know, should rhyme)
When it's over, it's definitely a tension reliever
There's a store I frequent they've got really good prices
Can't remember it's name, Naughty Beaver or Happy Typhus
Now I remember
Twas a jungle defender
Giant TIGER it is, needed all my mental devices
Farts: an expression of our most inner thoughts
Can't get more sincere, than toots from apricots
Fruity smelling at best
Like a beaver over stressed
Canada's national symbol, hard-working knobs
Red Ryder had a BB gun
That Playboy bunnies could outrun
Their fluffy tails
A Little Beaver is more fun!
Do you recall that ornery rascal
Who played the role of one 'Eddie Haskell' --
Good morning, MrsCleaver
And how's my friend, 'the Beaver?' --
Like a laughing hyena ~ or jackal
The Queen of the local beaver
Is crowned "Saturday Night Fever"
But all of her dates
Meet quite dreadful fates
Her dad is the Rabbi Cleaver
Rush to my house I have kumquats, you said
They're ripe, moist and sweet, I'm right here in bed
An eager beaver, I raced
But my high hopes were misplaced
Your spouse was eating your kumquat instead