Written by
Janet Eaton
Categories:
cat, funny, horror,
The Cat and the Rat
There once was Princess the cat
Who found a big fat hairy rat
She brought it in to play
But mother said no way
And found her a very big metal bat
Written by
Harry Horsman
Categories:
fun,
My Debut At Cricket
Sir Leonard Hutton famous for cricket
Idolized him yet we played in the snicket
His bat willow three springs and all
Ours a joke no umpire to call
Yet did dream of 'Lords' having took a wicket.
© Harry J Horsman 2015
Written by
Sandy Ivy D
Categories:
funny,
Sympathy
I knew a man with a sailors hat
Fat and chubby, smelled like a rat
kissed him out of stupidity,
now he's down on one knee,
Somebody give me a baseball bat!
6-4-12
Written by
Andrew Crisci
Categories:
loss, sports
The Disappointed Baseball Player
Not all my hits are home runs,
many of them miss the bat;
specators respond with boos...
right there I expect to lose,
and getting angry, I toss my cap.
Written by
Sidney Hall Mad Poet
Categories:
funny
Wine Haha
I..don’t mean to waste your time,
But..boy dose me wife bloody whine.
Do this, do that,
The miserable old bat
I found peace when I pickled her in brine
Written by
Larry Belt
Categories:
funny
Fat Moon
She blocks out the sun it's as plain as that
A total eclipse with infinite fat
The darkness comes at noon
That's when we see her moon
Her mom has made me as blind as a bat
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
bullying,
A Young Fellow Named Lizzie
There once was a young fellow named Lizzie
The tough guys mockingly called him a sissy
So he carried a bat
And that ended that
No more teasing, he dated a sweet campus missy
© Jack Ellison 2015
Written by
Joe Flach
Categories:
funny,
Ringtone Guffaw
I updated my new cellular phone
With "Bat Out of Hell" as its new ringtone
When it went off at mass
I let out a huge gasp
Then I pummeled my new phone with a stone
Written by
Mark Koplin
Categories:
humorous,
Duncified
We toss our names into a hat
Luck of the draw, that’s where it’s at
No rhyme or reason
Must be the season
Just step on up and swing your bat
Written by
Greg Stanley
Categories:
animals,
The Cat With the Bat
A young lady found a cat
Now she cannot take a nap
Each time her eyes shut
The cat would jump up
And whack her head with a bat
Written by
Jimmy Anderson
Categories:
funny, political
The Republican's Mangy Pussycat
He's a kind of layed back Democrat
Watch the Republican attack with a bat.
I heard his lame comment
His mistress causes torment.
She's as fierce as a mangy pussycat!
Written by
Shane Solomon
Categories:
funny
Riddle Me This Riddle Me That the Amazing Riddles of Fraidy Bat
The " Fraidy" bat flew high away
The "Fraidy"bat said he hated night more than day
I asked him why things were so,
He told me of the time he was molested by a moth named "Bo"
My ears were so violated by what I heard, I didn't know what to say
Written by
Connie Pachecho
Categories:
baseball, humor,
Jack and Sue's Fling In Park
Jack And Sue's Fling In Park
Jack wanted to hit the ball with Sue
Though his bat was small he liked to woo
Sue liked long fly balls
Ones that hit the walls
When Jack took his swing Sue played it through
5/15/23
Funny, Bawdy or Humorous Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsor-Tania Kitchin
Written by
Larry Belt
Categories:
funnyold, old,
The Prude Mooed
There once was an old cow in her stall
She was looked at by one and all
She was ugly and fat
That crazy old bat
I'm talking bout' my mother-in-law
Written by
M. L. Kiser
Categories:
appreciation, fun, funny, giggle, humor, humorous,
Hatless Hattie
One dark evening, Hat-less Hattie,
Took a walk with her cattie.
She didn’t see the thing fly down;
Bat attached itself to her crown;
Hat-less Hattie’s locks are now Matty!
Written by
Daisy Ward
Categories:
cat, halloween, happy,
Black Cat
The old women found a black cat
That changed into a large bat
Took her high up in the air
Then slung her by the hair
Into a machine that made her turn flat
Written by
Joseph Soper
Categories:
humor,
Dont Ask Questions
Jack's wife looked in the mirror and asked
Does this dress make my ass look too fat?
To her chagrin
He said Yes with a grin
But at least you’re not blind like a bat
Written by
Keith D Trestrail
Categories:
humorous,
Batter Up
I post on the Soup for all to see
and am no angel nor claim to be.
I am kind and all that
but carry a big bat
so beware how you remember me.
Written by
Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty
Categories:
fun, funny,
The Skeleton With a Crazy Hat
The skeleton with a crazy hat,
Says,'I am rotten inside, Mr.Bat',
I have no heart,
I cannot fart,
But they say,'you are a sort of pack rat'.
12/10/2017
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
satire, school,
Don'T Ask
They teach, "Curiosity killed the cat"
Is there a good explanation for that?
In school don't ask questions
Don't dare make suggestions
Live your life just as blind as a bat.
Written by
James Horn
Categories:
allegory, analogy, humorous,
Again Off the Bat
Again Off the Bat
Again, another thought came off the bat;
Trump has truly become a spoiled brat;
What he wanted to him was always given;
Never desired poor behavior to be forgiven,
And both his body and lip sure seem so fat.
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Soldier and Poet
Written by
Jeff Kyser
Categories:
humor,
Meat Club
Not the protein, dear Rico, the fat!
There’ll be no more wheat grass for Jack Sprat.
That unhappy vegan
Has gone Chrissy Teigen,
Is now off clubbing seals with a bat.
H/T to Wickless in Seattle by Rico Leffanta
Written by
Lin Lane
Categories:
anger,
What a Despicable Jerk
A beastly man and his wife had a spat
The savage hit me with a baseball bat
What a despicable jerk
But my bowl and spigot work
Still capable of holding water..splat!
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
integrity, political, society,
Like a Bat Out of Hell
Like a bat out of hell or a cave
Left and Right always rant or else rave
Calm and reason have fled
Abandoned for dead
~ Hysteria's what audiences crave
Written by
Jerrold Prothero
Categories:
baseball, fantasy, flying, funny, humor, silly, wind,
A Man with Propellorized Hat
A man with propellorized hat
Stepped up with his beanie to bat.
The fastball blew by,
Away he did fly,
He hadn’t accounted for that.