Limerick Poems About Writing | Write Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: age, body, humorous, men,

THE MALE MENOPAUSE - please feel free to join in the collaboration

Ted’s libido has now gone astray He refused a quick roll in the hay So what could be the cause - It’s the male menopause He’s been grumpy and snappy all day! His testosterone levels have dropped Many Viagra pills he has popped He drops one in his tea It will keep his cookie Standing up straight whenever it flopped By jingo, Ted’s put on so much weight It’s not down to the lunches he ate His once perfect tush Has now turned to mush Ted should diet before it’s too late His middle aged paunch has been spreading Can’t fit in the suit from his wedding He once was so hot Now he’s gone to pot And now I hear he wets his bedding Ted’s developing male breasts, I see So I renamed them "moobies," tee hee They stick out so far He needs a 'man bra' If measured - he’d be bigger than me! Ted’s losing all the hair on his head (It’s sprouting from his nostrils instead) With long hairs in his ear Poor Ted can hardly hear And he braids it when he goes to bed BY JAN ALLISON 8/4/18 Mister T has trouble finding his ding dong I have to laugh even though I know it's wrong He's nothing but a wimp Now that his parts are limp Bet he knows where it all started to go wrong WRITTEN BY LIN LANE Ted is anxiously awaiting his date A beautiful blond he met out of state took blue pills from his pocket to help rev up his rocket but he wonders if she would rather wait WRITTEN BY TANIA KITCHIN "I'm so sorry"Apologised Ted To his wife, as they lay in their bed It's not you that's the cause It's that male menopause "Do you fancy a cocoa instead". WRITTEN BY RICHARD D SEAL Well the doc said “you need exercise”, So it’s football today with the guys, Roger yells “on me head!” “Well I could do,” says Ted, “What’s the point though, when everything dies?” WRITTEN BY NINA PARMENTER That male menopause can be iffy, do more than just cost you your stiffy. You've no more will to jerk; it's just way to much work, but you'll write new haiku in a jiffy! WRITTEN BY DALE GREGORY COZART Ted had a problem didn't know the cause his mate told him it's the manopause advised him to see Bill to purchase a blue pill Bill said this will amuse her indoors Ted asked his wife not to sneer or mock when he told her it was such a shock he had tried a blue pill to give her a big thrill worked too well its now a stumbling block. WRITTEN BY ROY PETT She burst into the room and caught Ted lying naked, aroused on the bed thought that she was the reason that he was now 'in season' not brochures for a new garden shed WRITTEN BY VIV WIGLEY There a was guy named Ted,that was cool He would make all the young ladies drool Now he’s married and limp And he resembles a blimp The “lift” tanked and the Mrs thinks his a fool WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y The male menopause caught up with old Ted He's no longer the stallion in bed But now he takes a little pill Before he goes in for the kill Now his poor wife just lays there full of dread WRITTEN BY TOM CUNNINGHAM Ted used to be good in the sack. `Til he started smoking that crack. Now his wife`s had enough and she`s left in a huff and picked up a spare with Jack. WRITTEN BY CHARLIE KNOWLTON His wife asked, "Ted what's the cause" He replied, "tis the male menopause, I was embarrassed to mention It won't stand to attention" I'm afraid you've been clutching at straws." WRITTEN BY GARY SMITH Ted loved his "kit-and-kaboodle", Kept it clipped like a champion poodle But a glitch in his gland.. Meant the thing wouldn't stand So it hung from his a noodle. WRITTEN BY GREGORY R BARDEN

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, voice,


Old blabber mouth gets on my wick His attitude makes me quite sick He plays to the crowd Is brash and so loud My husband thinks he's an idiot! Inspired by Stevie Wonder Song on the Radio today - He's Misstra know it all' WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON Impolite blabber mouths and know it alls completely ignore rules and protocols nasty comments they impart from the pit of a black heart Jackasses like that should be kept in stalls From that mouth erupts volcanic dribble He taunts with words until there's a quibble But runs with tucked tail With a cry and a wail! When he's bitten with more than a nibble WRITTEN BY LIN LANE His ego keeps growing up top Mouths opinion not gonna stop No poet nor bard He's such a blow hard Can't wait for his bubble to pop WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH A video was made for a surprise partyEach person, including children, pretending to spoil the surpriseWeebles were a type of toyLittle people that would wobble and not fall downHERE is the limerick: Who can stand them, blabbermouths in the know? Watch those weebles wobble and watch them go! Wee foibles whisper into ears. It’s for a surprise party, dears. Acting their parts, turns out it’s all for show! WRITTEN BY Kim Rodrigues © 7/2/2018 If your “wit” doesn’t get you that far, And all you’ve got’s blah blah blah blah, I’ll give you advice Cos I’m terribly nice... If you zip it, we’ll all shout “hurrah!” WRITTEN BY NINA PARMENTER There's nothing more infuriating than a know it all Who loves nothing more than to make you look small But its so lovely when they come up Against someone who knows their stuff And like old Humpty Dumpty they have a great fall WRITTEN BY TOM CUNNINGHAM He always sings the same boring song With a foot in his mouth, and a thong He thinks he knows it all But I will make him fall Let me google it and prove him wrong WRITTEN BY TEPPO GREN He talks fast and has a huge head I’m sure he thinks of “bull” in bed His words are empty He gets no sympathy That’s all I have to say, enough said WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y I once met a man from Peru Who said he knew better than you He was a huge phony And full or balony He knew nothing, that he thought he knew WRITTEN BY CHARLES MESSINA I once knew a man from Brazil A know it all with looks that could kill once he opened his mouth it was like a babbling spout He was no longer much of a thrill WRITTEN BY TANIA KITCHIN His horse races wearing no shoes Counts by fingers and toes by two's His life sick and sad Wants to be so bad Friends happy when he has the blues FIRST EVER LIMERICK WRITTEN BY ROBERT LINDLEY I know someone on poetry soup. Opens their mouth and words fly the coop. Tries so very hard to write, Condemnation is their plight! A name? I cannot that low stoop! WRITTEN BY MICK TALBOT PLEASE FEEL FREE TO JOIN IN AND WRITE A POEM ABOUT BLABBERMOUTHS THEN PLEASE SOUP MAIL ME YOUR LIMERICK AWARDED POEM OF THE DAY 3RD JULY - THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO CONTRIBUTED AND IS SHARING THIS HONOUR 7/2/18

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: anti bullying, poetry,


A poet - some deem that I’m not I write about farting and snot Won’t be driven away I am here to stay Of critics, I don’t give a jot 3/21/19

Poem Details | by Sandra Haight |
Categories: appreciation, friend, poetess,

Jan Allison

Jan Allison

There is a great gal on our ‘Soup’
Renowned in our poetry group
She’s ready to show
How our poems glow
With comments that give us the scoop.

Sincere as she gives us her view
Of writes we submit, old or new
No sooner we post
She’s there like our host
With greetings to look forward to.

Her poetry’s lovely to read
No matter what subject indeed
Some words leave us sad
Some words make us glad
And some provide lessons to heed.

So friendly to all on our site
We love her with all of our might
Although she has woes
Her care she bestows
On others to help with their plight.

© Sandra MHaight 2015 
   All Rights Reserved

~1st Place~
Contest: Write a Poem
Sponsor: Judy Konos
Judged: 02/11/2015


Poem Details | by Teppo Gren |
Categories: cute love, funny,



There once was a young Cupid named Lyle
who always aimed his arrow with style
with one shot straight as a dart
he hit me and pierced my heart
Aimed for a girl: he missed by a mile.

T.J Grén

6th April, 2016

Inspired by poets who write in many different forms, I've had a go at writing my first ever limerick, which is totally out of my comfort zone.

Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, on writing and

A Scolding from My Muse

For Miranda Lambert’s “Inspired” contest
By Carolyn Devonshire

I wanted to write for this contest;
But my muse was staging a protest.
     “Take me to the sea,” it pled,
     “In this house, I languish, dead;
Put me in touch with nature, a forest.”

“Don’t stare at a screen, confined by walls;
Locked inside, my inspiration falls.
     Surely there’s a babbling brook
     Or a valley’s overlook.
Give me something to work with,” muse calls.

“If you fail to respond, I’ll attack
As you’re sleeping in a room black.
     Thoughts you will never recall
     Cannot upon your page fall;
Without me you’re nothing but a hack!”

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: writing,

My Cousin Chaos

A cousin named Chaos have I (he’s not actually my cousinHe’s like my aunt’s stepson, but I guess I can still call him a cousin, right?)

There’s nothing that he will not try (like the day he let all the chickens loose from the coop and they were running like chickens with their heads cut offIsn’t that an expression or something? Chaos is crazy like those chickens were)

Since he follows no rule (He laughs at me because I try to write perfectly metered limericks and he thinks everyone should just write free and BE free in all they do.)

He got kicked out of school (it was so funnyHe set off the fire alarm and all the kids were running every which way, much like those chickens he let loose in his barnyardNow he is saying he wants to become an anarchist.)

So to anarchy school he’ll apply!

Gosh, he’s rightThis limerick sucksIt’s much more fun having no restrictions, just letting my thoughts go anywhere I want them to take me, kind of like stream of consciousness writing or somethingToo bad I can’t be all surreal-like, then I might make it into the newfangled modern poetry magazinesMost people don’t even consider limericks to be real poemsDANG it, I feel another one coming on.

Cousin Chaos, I now do hear tell
That you’ve found a new school, so learn well
Your anarchy ways.
In limerick phase
I’ll be stuck while you give people hell.

CrapEven trying to write like Chaos, I just can’t do itI just keep conforming to rules of poetry forms like limerickI just know my cousin will be laughing his chicken head off when he reads thisYeah, the old chicken motif againAlways relating things togetherSo much for Chaos! I’m outta here.

Written chaotically last week sometime for contest of same name

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, poetry,


Jan doesn't write iambic pentameter So please don't condescend and mock her We have different styles I bring laughter and smiles Please remember Jan is just an amateur! 30th April 2015

Poem Details | by RALPH TAYLOR |
Categories: funny,

Daylight Savings Crime

We gained an hour, that's fact.

Try to keep your emotions intact!

     I'm not sure how folks feel

     but it's not a big deal

So please don't overreact!

That extra hour is not a big thing.

No matter what excitement it might bring.

     Please don't be surprised,

     cause you must realise

that you'll lose it again in the Spring!

Yeah, an hour ain't really much time,

to write a good Limerick or Rhyme.

     The result, as you see,

     is a shame, shame on me

cause this Limerick is really a crime!

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,


Thomas was a tosser of the caber Loved to practice in front of his neighbour Oh boy how she would blush When he wiggled his tush For his caber glowed like a lightsabre Just a fun write about the Scottish athletic event of tossing the caber which is practiced at the Scottish Highland GamesThe caber is usually made of larch wood - it is 5.94 tall and weighs 79kg 16th June 2015

Poem Details | by Dear Heart |
Categories: poetry, writing,

Limerick 6 - Song Bird

I write of sad things in my life for you, And win sometimes first place and this is true; Some hate my weeping words, That I write like a song bird; So I give me, a compliment or two. _________________________ June 20, 2015 Limerick Inspiration Quote: "When you cannot get a compliment in any other way, pay yourself one." Mark Twain For the contest, Write with the Wit of Twain Sponsor, Andrea Dietrich Seventh Place

Poem Details | by Eve Roper |
Categories: muse,

Write with the Wit of Twain

The Wit of Twain I recollect, Pa always used to say There is no pay if you don’t stop your play Maybe figured I'd learned Knowledge not given but earned Life is a success if you don’t delay © 6/20/2015
Mark Twain Quote:*The secret of getting ahead is getting started. Contest Name: Write with the Wit of Twain Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, poetry,


My penchant for writing was showing The comments I received were ‘glowing’ But at the end of the day I get another N/A My success in contests is slowing! WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON ON 1st September 2016 PLEASE FEEL FREE TO PUT YOUR CONTRIBUTION IN A COMMENT OR SOUP MAIL IT TO ME Winners winners everywhere but not a one for me Sadness is a heavy burden over my N/A poetry I'll blame all my losses on the judging albatrosses I think I'll toss them all into the depths of the sea WRITTEN BY LIN LANE The contest was posted as judged To open that link, my mouse trudged My write was not there! I knew, with despair, To NA trash bin it was nudged! WRITTEN BY SANDRA HAIGHT Never say never again for time will soon erase that pain Dry your tears ,don't be sad, who is to say what's good or bad Someone else might love your refrain WRITTEN BY BRIAN STRAND I checked the list not once but twice It wasn't there to my suffice I sulk my head Then cry in bed That mean old judge she isn't nice WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH Wrote one that was such fun to read To a contest I posted full speed People thought it a hoot . It was given the boot Tell me what must I do to succeed! WRITTEN BY SEREN ROBERTS I entered a new contest today I didn't make the list, got N/A That has to be so wrong My praise was a mile long The judge was out of it on that day WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y There are contests you'll never win You'll lose before you even begin So don't waste your time With your best rhymes You'll just be tossed in the N/A bin! WRITTEN BY JOSEPH MAY My words meant so much when first written So glowing the praise they were get 'in From the published results I endured such insults That my dream of a Pulitzer lay smitten WRITTEN BY CHARLIE SMITH I once wrote a poem that fit All the contest descriptionsAnd it Was praised with much grace I was hopeful to place, But completely forgot to submit! WRITTEN BY AGNES KRAMPE I put my N/As in a row Was like a long queue to a show! Some resigned shrugging, Bit of sighing ‘n frowning, But such fun, so here again I go! WRITTEN BY SAN WOO For new contests, these poems I write, The others feel my writing is bright, But when the results come out, My name is Nowhere About, For the judge has found it Not Alright. WRITTEN BY JO DANIEL My inspiration for words are on track I pat myself on the back What the hack, I cracked Another N/A I’ve racked No more entries for this maniac WRITTEN BY EVE ROPER As a poet wannabe, and new to this space enthusiastic by a 1-3 place, and grace, I feel bad for the true poets here, My apologies but kiss my rear, This is tongue and cheek, I’m here for the race! Never knew what N/A did mean, As I’m pretty new to the scene, I'm back to support Jan, Now folks that’s a TRUE fan Better limericks I haven’t seen WRITTEN BY MARK PAUL VAN DER MERWE A funny poem I had written Fit I thought for a competition I'd celebrate with bacon - The sponsor was mistaken! A N/A has made me stay hidden WRITTEN BY TEDDY KIMATHI

Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: animals, funny

Ogling Owglet

*This silly limerick was inspired by James Fraser He often compares himself to an 
eagle and I had an attachment to an owl that used to live in my backyard He 
challenged me to write a poem on a combination of the two:  "Owglet."  This one's 
for you, James!

Ogling Owglet flew to the Bahamas

To catch a glimpse of Bahama Mamas

     So sexy they seemed
    But, boy, he turned green

They traded in his nest for Obama's

Poem Details | by Shane Cooper |
Categories: tribute,

A Poem For Jan

There was a hot poet called Jan
Who one day developed a plan
By hook or by crook
She’d write a kid’s book
And a lizard love story began

A lizard meets a pretty girl
Their tongues in unison unfurl
On a mossy rock
Their lives interlock
Together in love they now curl

for my so talented friend

Poem Details | by Anindya Mohan Tagore |
Categories: funny, grief, pain, poems,

Ask Marugu Mo

Where do all the great poets go?
If you ask me so, I would say, "I don't know"
There must be some hidden pain
Writing poems relieves their brain
Dear ones are their poems greatest foe

Where do all the great poets go?
Ask the river, ask the melting snow
They may say, " He was just here
With his grief - eyes full of tears"
Writing poems does not pay also

Where do all the great poets go?
Ask the sun, ask the shining rainbow
They may say, " He was just here
Got caught with his write - in fear"
Dear ones are their poems greatest foe

Where do all the great poets go?
Ask the moon, ask Marugu Mo
There are problems in their life
They can't help but face the strife
Writing poems does not pay also


P.S: Poet Marugu Mo, himself is  a great poet and his name rhymed with my poem nicelyA great poet can only give us some idea where the others have gone, so I have used his name in the title tooMy respectful greetings to Poet Marugu Mo and my dedication goes to him.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous, lust, political,


A politician called Ronald Dump Loves to pat pretty girls on the rump At a peachy pert tush All his brains turn to mush His wife floors him – you should see the lump! Fictional write for fun 7th June 2016

Poem Details | by William Robinson |
Categories: funny, history, on writing


Young Shakespeare didst say to his tutor,
"Methinks I wouldst be much astuter,
And per chance, I wouldst say,
Mightest write a screen play,
If some fool wouldst invent the computer."

Poem Details | by lim'rik flats |
Categories: appreciation, fun, nonsense,

Collaboration Can Be Fun join in here

I'm a firm believer
In limerick fever
(This isn't news)
"It'll cure the blues!"
Says Jan (who is no deceiver)

Written by Jan Allison:

Writing limericks is a fine art
Yes I write about poop or a fart
But show me someone
Whose not dropped a ‘bomb’
then from poetry soup I’d depart!

Written by Lim'rik Flats:

Does art mimic life or life mimic art?
Don't ask me, I'm not too smart.
It seems the soup
Has the same poop
As watching the news (or a fart).

Drama and trauma, factions and foes,
Smiting and fighting, (hard on the nose),
Saves me the trouble
Of viewing double
Saves time, and less grief I suppose.

Written by Ray Gridley:

Raise a toast to this collaboration
Whatever your race or your nation
Just write on a whim
Lim'rick Flat's bound to grin
They are all going to be a sensation!

Written by Daniel Turner:

I know a guy called Lim'rick Flats
Writes limericks at the drop of a hat
Jan is his pal
She's quite a gal
They met in a laundry mat

Jan makes jokes about poop
he puts them in alphabet soop
drinks from the bowl
with no self control
which makes him a nincompoop

Also written by Daniel Turner:

Write all the limericks you want
but don't fart in a restaurant
people will laugh
call you riffraff
even if you're a debutante

Written by John Lawless:

oh the limerick it ain’t quite a sonnet
and the learned, they look down upon it
for they cannot grasp
its head or its ass
nor the cleansing effect of its tonic 

Written by Terry Reeves:

Late for work she flew out the door
Took an express elevator to the 29th floor
Let some discreet killer farts
Nearly stopped all their hearts
Left them gagging; she'd evened the score

Written by Tim Smith:

Nonsense is here found out in the alley
Five funny lines we'll add to the tally
a smile or two
we laught till we're blue
so put out your best and join in our rally

Written by Alexis Y:

Hey what's going on in the soup?
Lim'rik Flats I want the scoop
What do you have to say?
You got poem of the day
Congrats, I shouldn't have flown the coop

Written by Jean Murray:

John is always fun.
His poems and their puns.
If you need a lift.
He has the gift.
Lim'rik Flats is number one.

psst How could I not add this to the string?  ~ john

Poem Details | by Lin Lane |
Categories: poetry,

Poet - Your Cover is Blown

It's with great sadness and a lot of discomfort that I write
about an issue that needs addressing and brought to light
Several poets have long known
about a poet whose cover is blown
and cheats by entering their own contestsThat's not right.

What would you think of a poet entering contests of their making
and then winning high placements with names they are faking
That's stooping pretty low
I really wish it wasn't so
So I hope it comes to an end after this exposure and muckraking

It's not my intent to stir up trouble with this post, but in all good conscience I feel the need to inform all of you who write for contests that this has been happening for some time This is not an act of bitterness or ill will, but if this poet reads this, know that if it doesn't stop I'll report you to TPS I don't understand why a decent poet would do something like this

Poem Details | by Joe Flach |
Categories: funny

Deb's Challenge

There are many poets on Poetry Soup
Deb’s limerick contest has thrown for a loop
Try as they might
They can’t write it right
To Deb it comes out smelling like poop

Deb's instructions I've tried to hit
While writing my own lim-er-ick
Each and every time
I miss the meter and the rhyme
Throw up my hands and exclaim, "Oh.poop"

Poem Details | by lim'rik flats |
Categories: tribute,

Reincarnation of Turkey Tom - a collaboration

*if ya wanna add some sillies, hop on the wagon!

After the feast, Tommy was gone
Hen said, "Don't worry, won't be for long."
"He'll reincarnate,
Just sit and wait."
"He's not just SOME - POET, Tommy's a song."

"He's always a gas, loads of fun,
With plenty of wit and good with a pun."
"If you miss him,
Be sure to kiss 'em,
When he comes again to shine like the sun."

By Jan Allison:

When he struts it engorges his snood
Oh my goodness that really sounds rude
It dangles from his beak 
You must go take a peek
See Tom is the king of his brood.

By ilene bauer:

He was missed, though, by all of his group
Who felt bad he was out of the loop
So they jotted some rhymes
Thinking 'bout those good times
Now he's brought back to life on the soup!

By Alexis Y:

Tommy the turkey is not gone
He's hibernating and listening to a song
When he comes back
His strut won't be whack
Maybe this time he'll arrive with loud gong

By rogerPAT Adams: 

When he struts it's more of a wobble
No matter if ground, grass or cobble
Though it might seem rude
When he's in the mood
I've heard he loves to gobble!

By Jack Ellison:

Tommy can be very rude at times 
But down deep, his star really shines 
His heart glows bright 
Nothing bad I can write 
Like his author, he's a master of rhyme"

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: allegory, anger, perspective, tribute,

life with Trump XVII

The Donald supporters were pissed
But Dorian Gray they have kissed!
Measured in fathoms
Their brains’ empty chasms
All hail the chief narcissist

Author's Note: Sunshine Smile's recent post, "Showtime," inspired me to write thisHer poem really speaks to me    

"The Picture of Dorian Gray" is a philosophical novel by Oscar Wilde, first published complete in the July 1890 issue of Lippincott's Monthly Magazine as described in WikipediaI urge those who are unfamiliar with the story to check out the plot

I do understand people's anger It's unfortunate the rest of us didn't do more to retrain and help the folks between the coasts--like the former coal minersI really liked Bernie SandersHillary was more a representation of the status quoI think she lost the election when she called Donald supporters, "deplorables." She didn't get it

"Make America Great Again," is doublespeak for, "Take advantage of the downtrodden and poor." We all share the same planet and its resourcesThere will be blowback from what we are doing in this countryNo wall or immigration ban will keep us safe from ourselves and what we representWe have not yet embraced sustainability, and I sincerely doubt the richest cabinet in history will have an intent to help minersMine owners are the ones they want to helpStay tuned worldIt is "showtime."

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: community,


Jan Allison, Jack Ellison, believe it or not there's no relation Both love to write about poop, do you see the correlation? Canada and the Isle Of Man A loving connection, this poetry clan Joining hands across the seas, true love among nations

Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: humorous,

A Real Souper Poopper

I know of a poet named Jan
She lives on the Isle of Man
She likes to write poop
To add to The Soup
And I'm honestly glad that she can

Poem Details | by Tania Kitchin |
Categories: anti bullying, community,

A Shark is Lurking

There's a shark lurking in the soup they say
With sharp teeth ready to strike any day
Our pens remain our best weapons
No matter what the shark threatens
We will just write more to send him away


Shark in the Soup Poetry contest
Sponsor: Anthony Slausin

Poem Details | by Jim Slaughter |
Categories: poetry, poets, writing,

Let There Be Limericks: To all you wannabe poets

To all you wannabe poets
To all you wannabe poets,
Here's a word of advice ere you start:
If you want folks to love it,
Keep your ego out of it.
When you write always write from the heart.

Dressing up a poem
It's great fun to write haiku and sonnets
About rainbows and gay Easter bonnets,
But if you find them too terse,
Try to flesh out your verse,
And festoon it with quatrains and nonets.

Scriptor Interruptus
Poets come, and poets go, and poets coincide.
Some rhyme time and time again, others "free verse" with pride.
But those who let their egos reign
Oft fade and never scribe again.
They succumb to the literary sin of "authorcide".

The pleasure and the pain
Writing is for me both pain and pleasure,
The time I spend with pad and pen I treasure.
I must confess, though,
Sometimes I stress so
When syllables I try to use refuse to measure.

Poem Details | by Roy Pett |
Categories: celebrity, hero,

Celebrity limerick

Mission impossible for my muse
to write a limerick on Tom Cruise 
Our hero Ethan Hunt
performs stunt after stunt
like me, his enemies he'd confuse.


Poem Details | by Jason Talbott |
Categories: funny, science fictionstar, star,

Star Wars Limericks

I write Star Wars limericks with aplomb.
'Cuz Star Wars is simply the bomb!
But they don't appear
On this nice website here,
They're at Starwarslimericks dot blogspot dot com!

No special effects there, I'm sorry.
A few pictures but nothing too gory.
I start at the beginning
And I keep on spinning
Retelling the whole Star Wars story!

Poem Details | by john freeman |
Categories: love,

Soup drama

Last week featured poetic Drama Like living at home with your momma Poetic, inspiration Perhaps taken vacation So watch your P’s, your Q’s and comma Jack’s Sprat had the nastiest critic Mary said, “You just better quit it!” Jack said, “I may as well split!” Mary’s mad enough to spit Soup is family, don’t you get it!!!! So be kind to your critics Often times they don’t get it Write loving features Appease mad creatures Write of love or forget it ++++++++++++++++++++ For and in honor of Carol Brown And contest: Write it for yourself

Poem Details | by Keith Trestrail |
Categories: confusion, funny,


  I only had eyes for you when we first met,
  And yes blondes have more fun it's true my pet.
      How we walked hand in hand
      And rolled naked in the sand...
 "**** you! that was my sister - I'm the brunette!"


For the Write with the Wit of Twain contest.

Quote: Under certain circumstances, profanity
           provides a relief denied even to prayer.

                        June 2015

Poem Details | by Poet Destroyer A |
Categories: confusion, lifewords, me, world,

Slam Hurts!!!!!....

                 Slammed by

            A MOTHERS LOVE
Mother always called me a lousy kid, with a shove
I was the only kid she wanted to get rid of
On my head she always smacked me hard.
She would always slam me calling  me a retard
My mother gave me the best slamming love.

((( my mother the best slammer there ever was)))
           WE ARE THE WORLD
Slam back at any country, at any given event
I feel bad for any so called President.
"WE THE PEOPLE" the Republic and the Democrat.
Slamming each other talking crap
In a world full of slam and argument.

((( The world toughest fight is slam not war )))
              TEACHERS PET
Our teachers kept on and on how we where wrong with a fuzz.
She just stood there and slammed each and everyone of us.
Making us write an essay on broken rules.
Kept us all after school calling us stupid fools
Who knew teachers where allowed to slam and cuss?

((( Teachers words of slam can ruin any future )))
             ROAD BLOCK
Have you ever heard of a poet blocker.
All they are is a slam stocker
They over abuse their blocking right.
Trying to make other poets fight.
Always trying to slam a point across, like a mocker.

((( Hating against any form of poetry is a slam it self )))
Can you guess that slam is just a risky business
Picking out the best slam words from the rest.
Testing out a form we don't know how to let it  flow.
Darn the soup for putting slam on the box below.
Even the best have join my slamming contest.

((( Thank you Soup for SLAMMING us with your A-Z list-form)))

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: community, conflict, crazy, smile,

To the Norm, Truck It

This Scottish guy never cares for the norm It doesn't bother his ass, no matter the form There's too much of this And there's too much of that Please write to the form, or suffer the storm May I add this doesn't conform to the Syllable count.

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: poems, poetess, poets, words,

Names on Contests, Yuchers

Once again I write what I think Include your name, hell that stinks It should all be read blind Just imagine the finds Leave the Judges purely in think <*> All contests should be read blind, unless a Workshop named!

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: history, son, god, earth,

The Gods' Family Tree

An Egyptian I never could be,
but since reading of their history,
in limerick form
I now write to inform
my friends of the Gods’ family tree.

From “Waters of Chaos” came Nun,
the only God under the sun.
The first piece of ground
rose up as a mound.
Hun stood there and coughed up a son!

Hun spat out the God of Air, Shu,
and he spat out a cute goddess too.
Tefnut was her name.
Moisture was her fame.
She and Shu beget children - two!

Their son was named Geb; the girl, Nut.
I’m not sure how to say her name, but
I sure like to say
Goddess Sky’s name the way
that rhymes with the famous King Tut.

When he laughed, the son Geb, “God of Earth,”
made the earth shake beneath his great girth.
I think Geb is busy
in modern days, for he
quakes often, for he’s fond of mirth!

For the tale to proceed, there ensued
some more incest, and not to be crude,
Nut, the Goddess of Sky,
got it on with the guy,
King of Earth, and they had a big brood.

There came forth from their coupling,
Queen Isis and a new Earth King,
Osiris, who was
a good king because
he ruled all rebirth, a great thing!

One son, against harmony, came
to kill Osiris, and his name
was Seth; once again
like the story of Cain -
an envious brother to blame.

But Seth got his just desserts when,
having married his Mom Isis, then
he was killed by HIS son,
named Horus, who won
the throne, and so “good” ruled again.

From Seshat to Sekmet to Rah,
Gods were worshipped by ancients with awe.
You’d have worshipped them too
had you been born to do
your poems on papyrusHa ha.

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: funny, girl, humor, imagery,

Lathered to Leathered

Hey barber, give me a shoe and a shine As he's lathered he feels just fine Then he views the shoe shiner Wow, what breasts, nothing finer My hands on them I wish they were mine Young lady, let's spend time in a motel room Get to know each other, vroom vroom I'm married, och, you'll be fine I'll pay, say your working overtime You tell him, the barbers my groom . Challenged to write this based on a joke!

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,


Two martians they landed on earth Most earthlings gave them a wide berth A photo was taken The image is makin’ a fortune - just think of its worth! Contest Write with the wit of Twain – Andrea Dietrich 06~19~15 If they had not landed there would be some reason for celebrating the fact. Mark Twain

Poem Details | by kash poet |
Categories: funny,

Twice or Thrice Daily

Twice daily,even once will do if you want I can do thrice too, so in this New Year promise to adhere to my wish to write more haiku! ;-) ==================000================

Poem Details | by Roy Jerden |
Categories: satire,

Table Hogs

They invade the cafe at first light
Then with latte and laptop held tight
    They seize tables for four
    To let go nevermore
So all others drink coffee upright

With a bored intellectual stare
That one hankers to be Molière
    If he's writing a play
    For a hit on Broadway
Then its plot must involve Solitaire

One's quite the scientific young chap
For which typing is no handicap
   He must write his thesis
   By psychokinesis
Cause the keyboard gets hardly a tap

That one with the big apple fritter
Is researching a mental transmitter
    He's receiving the thoughts
    Of strange cosmonauts
Transferred through Facebook and Twitter

Perhaps you will think I'm pretentious
And more than a little contentious
     But it's just a disgrace
     To monopolize space
And I think that's the general consensus

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: appreciation, for her, funny,

Advice Adviser

I'm retired but do I still have a life Yes, sexual adviser I am to my wife But if I say try this It'll be totally bliss If I desire I'll ask for your advice . Challenged to write on the back of a Joke!

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humorous,

Some People Insist

Some people insist that I keep writing limericks Don't want to overstay my welcome in this mix So I'll write a few But back off, phew! Unless of course youse guys start throwing big bricks © Jack Ellison 2015

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: animals, funny, nature

Ricky the Raccoon

Did you hear about Ricky the Raccoon
Who found a cat who had swooned
He returned it back home
In case, dazed it did roam
His reward, a night on the toon

Francine posted an image on Facebook to write about, this is mine.
To see the image, copy and paste my link below and paste.

Poem Details | by Timothy Hicks |
Categories: fun, funny, giggle, humor,

Party Foul

One can write limericks on a dime
All you need is some rhythm and rhyme
A quick li'l jest
Now that's the best
Just make sure your joke arrives on time!

(preferably not passed the fifth line)

NOTE: I was gonna post this for the Limerick Contest, but I wrote it a day too any case it was fun nonetheless :)

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: confusion, funny, health, humor,

The astonishing disappearing act

Proctologists need to write when 
A prescription's called for big ben 
But a doctor equipped
With thermometer quipped
An asshole's walked off with my pen

Poem Details | by Paul Callus |
Categories: fun,

Frank Hank

There was once a daydreamer called Hank.
It was thought that he was just a crank.
He was labelled a con.
His ideas caught on.
Then he ran all the way to the bank.

Quote from Mark Twain: 
“A crank is someone with a new idea, until it catches on.”
Contest: Write with the wit of Twain
Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich
Placed 3rd

Poem Details | by Charles Henderson |
Categories: on writing and words


By definition, to irritate; 
but easy on the palate.
The footle is a witty poem,
written picture rhyme.
Semantics seals its fate

We write to enjoy the style,
to sport, to bring a smile
from double meaning jest.
Gives our minds a rest
without defame or rile.

Colorful as a noun
to be put down
in the bottom of the box.
Victim of paradox.
Living in abject brown.

© Jun 15 2010 Charles Henderson

I have searched for hours and not found any definition
referring to the footle as a poem, or even as a noun.
No official recognition.???????????

Poem Details | by michelle prital |
Categories: inspirational, music, song-me, light,

The Music In Me

I have a peaceful easy feeling
As I sit and write this poem
Comprising 5 old songs
Which remind me of my home

They show me the importance
They teach me with such grace
To get up every morning 
With a smile on your face

My youth was filled with ballads
Verses I could trust
And we all know what memories bring...
They bring dia-monds and rust

Songs taught me that my friends were
The wind beneath my wings
To treasure and embrace  them
To value what life brings

There's a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
For me, 'bout sums it up
The hope one feels within

Sometimes a simple sound
Or smell can be so strong
It carries me back light years
To one specific song

And in that song I bask
I know  what each line means
Transcended to the past
Dressed in my tie-dyed jeans.

Eagles            – Peaceful Easy Feeling
Carol King    -  Beautiful
Joan Baez      - Diamonds and Rust
Bette Midler  - Wind Beneath My Wings
Leonard Cohen - Anthemn

Poem Details | by Rev. Rebecca Guile Hudson |
Categories: animals, funny, holiday, husband,

Some Limericks...

She’s out there chasing a cricket

Through bush, through shrub & through thicket

Together they hop

Fugitive, cop

But when she gets it, she just wants to lick it!

A cat whose vet took his eye

Just cannot quite understand why

His eye’s been enucleated,

3-D vision reduciated,

So now, he keeps an eye out for an eye

Ya gotta keep limericks loose

Think green eggs, or perhaps DrSeuss

They’re structured, it’s true,

But they’re also a zoo

Whose tenants are all on the loose!

I frolic in fountains of words

Overflowing with serious absurds

Each poem I write

Wakes up and takes flight

Joining angels and faeries and birds

You ask that we write a good limerick

How to do so, I haven’t a glimmerick

So I struggle and frown

Teaching  poems to clown

So a smile on your lips will be shimmerick

A cat with a mouth full of mouse

Brought her feast right into my house

She played with her food

Who was not in the mood

To be a banquet of mouse in the house

The nightmares that shadow my sleep

Stampede the proverbial sheep

Right out of my mind

When I try to unwind

I find my appointment with sleep hard to keep

In her search for original truth

She met people unsavory and couth

She knitted and purled

But only unfurled

Yarns told by new age and old youth

Cat, suddenly pink,

Drinks her water from out of the sink

She looks so absurd

Since she’s been de-furred

I really don’t know what to think!

If one and one is two and two is four,

And there’s only two ways to go through  a door,

Then, is earth up or down?

And, where is down town?

These are questions we need to explore!

A was that is an is

Tried to mind my biz

But I sent it packing,

Its presence was lacking

And I don’t have time for such shiz!

A couple who lived in Los Lunas

Loved the wide desert sky’s crystal blueness

They’d stare at the air,

Over here, over there

And rejoice at the feeling of newness

A cat with a very fat gut

Found it easier to walk on his butt

He’d drag it around

Across carpet and ground

And use it to slam the doors shut

Said the Missus to her dear MrOtter,

“There’s something I think that you oughta

Do before we get old

To protect us from cold –

You oughta make the hot water hotter!”

The ghosts who live up in my attic

Make noises that sound much like static

I’ve tried to send them away,

But they’re here to stay,

Those staticky ghosts in my attic

Poem Details | by Robin Tinavo Mashingaidze |
Categories: fantasy, parody, write, write,


Go tell it on the mountain
That – twenty eleven is for Robin! 
Once I was on the road to perdition
And my mind was wrought
But then saw I the light
Shinning so bright
And all was right.
Now that I have got myself a gun
I will shoot my way to Zion
Roaring like a lion!
Yeah - I am not afraid of Babylon
For mine eyes have seen her ruin.

I want uncommon heroes for twenty eleven
All dead and slain!
For his marvelous patience – Darwin
And for his unconquerable faith – Saint Campion
Edgar Allan Poe – for his crazy imagination
Just in case someday I will have to bleach my skin
I will add Michael Jackson
Ofcourse I wont forget MrsSimpson
Lest I fall in love and it will be my ruin.

Mine vision won’t be written on the wall
Unlike that of Habakkuk the Prophet
But I will inscribe it in my heart
Lest it will be seen and copied by all.
For I have been taught not to trust
By the lady whose smile is so bright!

And don’t let it be forgot
That when faced with reality.
I managed to wring out of life
A promise of eternity 
To my utmost relief.

After I thought all I thought 
And felt all l felt at the end of twenty ten
What philosophers call reflection
I resolved! No, I firmly purposed! Yes - I determined to write!
But write what?
Does it matter - will write myself a verse, a story, or even a sermon
Because of all the titles given to men
The tag writer appeals to me the most!
And if this be vanity
Then make the most of it!

Poem Details | by Tim Smith |
Categories: for him, friend, tribute,

Hold Down The Fort-Tributick

Santa Jack's under the weather so I'm hear to say Let's all write a limerick or two today It should be funny Or a little bit punny So pull out your pencils and start writing away