A poet - some deem that I’m not
I write about farting and snot
Won’t be driven away
I am here to stay
Of critics, I don’t give a jot
“Sometimes too much drink is barely enough.” Mark Twain, on Alcoholism
05 July 2015
Poem of the Day - 07 July 2015
Write With the Wit of Twain Contest - 4th Place
Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich
Sleepless Nights - Limerick Insomnia Revisited
Limericks are so hard to write.
Sometimes, keep me up half the night
Spending way too much time
Just trying to rhyme
A word that’s just out of sight.
Written By John Posey
Jan doesn't write iambic pentameter
So please don't condescend and mock her
We have different styles
I bring laughter and smiles
Please remember Jan is just an amateur!
30th April 2015
A politician called Ronald Dump
Loves to pat pretty girls on the rump
At a peachy pert tush
All his brains turn to mush
His wife floors him – you should see the lump!
Fictional write for fun
7th June 2016
Young Shakespeare didst say to his tutor,
"Methinks I wouldst be much astuter,
And per chance, I wouldst say,
Mightest write a screen play,
If some fool wouldst invent the computer."
Jan Allison, Jack Ellison, believe it or not there's no relation
Both love to write about poop, do you see the correlation?
Canada and the Isle Of Man
A loving connection, this poetry clan
Joining hands across the seas, true love among nations
I know of a poet named Jan
She lives on the Isle of Man
She likes to write poop
To add to The Soup
And I'm honestly glad that she can
There's a shark lurking in the soup they say
With sharp teeth ready to strike any day
Our pens remain our best weapons
No matter what the shark threatens
We will just write more to send him away
Food To Feed Separate from Weed
Morning Has Broken and so has each seed;
Become food to feed separate from weed,
Which was required that they surely need.
My main goal is to motivate others
to write poetry..
Mission impossible for my muse
to write a limerick on Tom Cruise
Our hero Ethan Hunt
performs stunt after stunt
like me, his enemies he'd confuse.
It's easy to write a good limerick
You don’t have to be poet or geek
Simply do not think
It comes in a wink
And here it is done blindfold and quick
Gifted a premium membership
I want to do a joyful backflip
But that may cause great harm
A sincere thanks with charm
Effort to write more I shall let rip
January 10, 2020
Eye vent out on a clear blew ski day
the whether was read hot the hole day
Board eye go far a movie
Knot a sole hear maid errie
Sow eye flea from the haul back two my stay.
Once again I write what I think
Include your name, hell that stinks
It should all be read blind
Just imagine the finds
Leave the Judges purely in think
All contests should be read blind, unless a Workshop named!
This Scottish guy never cares for the norm
It doesn't bother his ass, no matter the form
There's too much of this
And there's too much of that
Please write to the form, or suffer the storm
May I add this doesn't conform to the Syllable count.
Twice daily,even once will do
if you want I can do thrice too,
so in this New Year
promise to adhere
to my wish to write more haiku!
Some people insist that I keep writing limericks
Don't want to overstay my welcome in this mix
So I'll write a few
But back off, phew!
Unless of course youse guys start throwing big bricks
© Jack Ellison 2015
I'm retired but do I still have a life
Yes, sexual adviser I am to my wife
But if I say try this
It'll be totally bliss
If I desire I'll ask for your advice
Challenged to write on the back of a Joke!
To create in five minutes, I wish
to come up with a nice yummy dish.
A limerick I do,
dear Russell, for you.
And I'm sorry it can't be de-lish!
(having problems getting this to post! Hopefully
third time is a charm)
Written 5/11/13 for Russell Sivey's Five minute Challenge Poetry Contest
Proctologists need to write when
A prescription's called for big ben
But a doctor equipped
With thermometer quipped
An asshole's walked off with my pen
This maybe a contest of sorts
But she said I can't write about sports
'Cause it's not funny of late
To see a man's ball deflate
And have to debate it in court.......Hahahahhaahh It's still funny
Heres a rilly lame limrick for ya-
Write hear I'll change the beet!
also I ain't bin usin end rime
An this old line is whey to long for a forth line.
Kin ya gess how many words was spellt rong?
hummm, is that fiv or sex lines I needs?
For P.D.'s "My Worst Poem Ever" Contest
Santa Jack's under the weather so I'm hear to say
Let's all write a limerick or two today
It should be funny
Or a little bit punny
So pull out your pencils and start writing away
I wanted to write a short Diddy
And soon, it became a real pity
They say, It stunk up the town
Like something long thin and brown
But it rhymed well with the word witty