Limerick Poems About Work | Work Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: betrayal, body, humorous,

AT THE FOOTBRIDGE - LIMERICK COLLABORATION

At the footbridge Sue was meeting her beau (He was married to a woman called Flo) Sue soon found out his deception She dismembered his erection For his love life it was a massive blow To the hospital fled poor Rodger For an op to repair his todger Now fixed, it's SO big Rodger grunts like a pig in porn films as Rodger the lodger Inspired by but not for contest BY JAN ALLISON 7~18~16 He promised Flo he never would leave her And she would be his only receiver But she caught him with Sue And his chances were through Gnawing off wood when he neared her beaver WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH Sue castrated that cheating deceiver With one whack of her meat cleaver she pulled a Lorena Bobbit turned Rodger into a Hobbit Sue's now known as an "overachiever" WRITTEN BY MARTI SUTHERLAND Across the table sits sweet Amee Once A Roger, before he became a she The master of infidelity So many personalities Before and after he became an amputee.. WRITTEN BY SKAT A He was known as a terrible stoner With a huge un-deflatable boner It now sits in a jar At the end of the bar A reminder to all of its owner... WRITTEN BY JOHN LAWLESS It’s become a tourist attraction As a symbol of female subtraction Grannies sneak in for a peek Everyday of the week Dreaming of former of love action. WRITTEN BY MARK WOODS Oh how sad that pork missile should be unemployed but for all there to see if science, in a jiffy can rejuvenate stiffys then the first in the queue would be me! WRITTEN BY VIV WIGLEY Flo wanted to give Sue a high five For slicing Rodger with all his jive A two timing fool Who broke every rule Now lil Rodger don't work in overdrive WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y Rodger's story has been immortalized For having his thingy circumcised It's on display in a bar Now hanging in a jar While it's slowing becoming crystalized WRITTEN BY MARTI SUTHERLAND As she ponders on what to eat Hopefully, it won’t be red meat For there on the log Is Rodger's hot dog So she gets excited and jumps off her feet WRITTEN BY WINGED WARRIOR There's a lesson I really must blurt To all those blokes out chasing some 'skirt' When you're on heat Don't share your meat 'Cause your todger might really get hurt! WRITTEN BY MARK WOODS Poor forgotten noteworthy Sue Looking so gloomy she blew At the pickled todger once belonging to Rodger kissing good times its last adieu WRITTEN BY EVE ROPER As "Roger" snaked out of the door It went past a room on tenth floor. A woman therein Said "Come right on in." she kept screaming, "More, I want more! WRITTEN BY ANDREA DIETRICH After Sue chopped his tally-whacker Poor Roger became quite the slacker He tried to bring his pecker forth Never again to be pointing north Now when he pees he sits on the crapper. He stopped at the house, the red-light was on Knocked on the door, the girls were all gone Stuck with his sawed-off boner Tonight He's going to be a loner Damn, why did the girls all have to be gone? BOTH POEMS WRITTEN BY JAMES ANDERSEN A group of limericks quite clever Began with one simple sever Of engorged penis which is, (between us), I think, a spicy endeavor WRITTEN BY H PENELOPE SWIFTLOCK There was perfection in his pecker, as a porn star he was a wrecker, but to his wife he was unfair, so she severed what was down there, now his only job is director. WRITTEN BY CASARAH NANCE Poor Roger thought he was being slick when he carved out a handcrafted prick he rubbed his new attire his precious toy caught fire Now he is left with an ashen stick WRITTEN BY TEPPO GREN An ashen stick means man minus prick. Poor Roger, now a eunuch, without a fix He decided to become a transgender Then off he went on a bender Woke up married to a man from Bertrix WRITTEN BY JEAN MURRAY Rodgers new love was a prudish fox but for brains she had a head of rocks he splinted up his willy popsicle sticks look silly he said it was new and still in the box! WRITTEN BY SONNY ROPER (EVE'S HUBBY) To be fair "At the Footbridge" Now to be completely fair And to stop every persons stare Rodger was not actually circumcised As he was a player, so don’t be surprised This was from wear and tear and his willingness to share WRITTEN BY MARK PAUL VAN DER MERWE


Poem Details | by RALPH TAYLOR |
Categories: funny

GIMME A BRAKE

A UFO went to land in Dakota
But the brakes didn't work one iota.
        It didn't take long
        to decide what was wrong
seems the space ship was made by Toyota!


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, husband,

An Unappreciated Housewife

He walks into the room each day at six
As around their Dad all five children mix
     He smiles at them with glee
     Meantime he sneers at me
So I get prepared to take all his licks

“What have you been doing all day?” he asks
No appreciation for all my tasks
     “Washed clothes and changed diapers
     Don’t need any gripers”
This insensitive father wears two masks

Each morning his breakfast is served on time
Later, vodka collins are served with lime
     He never shops for food
     Says my cooking’s no good
And when he bathes, the tub is filled with grime

My Mom said, “Men just work from sun to sun,
But a woman’s housework is never done” 
     I found a new game plan
     A hearty, handsome man
Together, my husband we could outrun




May 25, 2012
*Entry for David’s 3 H contest


Poem Details | by Dana Smith |
Categories: dedication, depression, life, lost

Borderline Poster Child

Who am I, oh, who am I? Just a poser child Borderline? A series of bold contradictions Led on by doctors false predictions Diagnosing all the time... Angry outbursts fill the air, Throwing objects everywhere, They drug me up, because they're lazy It's too much work to help the crazy I hate the pills, but they don't care Take the drugs, and you'll feel better, We'll smoke some bud, and chill together But even if I smoked the weed Surely that's not all I need The lovely high won't last forever I get attatached to everyone, But when they get too close, I run So many arrows in my heart Cupid shoots, but then I part Not phased by all the wrong I've done So put me on more medication, I'll throw in some dedication, But even then it's not enough This emptiness is still too tough All that's left is contemplation


Poem Details | by DARREN WATSON |
Categories: funny, mum,

Trying something new

Trying something new , If you think you see something or someone you recognise
It is purely coincidental.


I met a romantic queen
and made love to her in a dream 
Her mum said Put him down 
Drive him out of town 
You've no idea where he's been 

I have a friend named A.D.
I adore all of her poetry
Her writing puts me to shame
but when she mentions my name
I feel like she's flirting with me.

A beautiful lady named Nette 
Said she wouldn't be kissed for a bet 
but a gentleman I aint
If I kissed her she'd faint
and she'd be forever in my debt.

Our very good friend Tim
Swore a beautiful woman was stalking him
but since he's been missing 
He's discovered French kissing
Now our chances of finding him are slim.

I know a young lady named SKAT
When she makes love, She purrs like a cat
She is such a cute kitten 
I admit I am smitten
and I wouldn't mind hearing that.

We have a beautiful friend named F.J.
I asked what she knew about kissing one day
I could tell from her wink
She knows more than we think
and a lot more than she's willing to say.


LOL 
I'll work on it


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: culture, funny, humor, irony,

Woosh vs Zroooom--a limerick joke

A vacuum cleaner should glide
And relief from messes provide
It is quite unlike
Harley Davidson's bike
Since the dirtbag's on the inside



Author's note: Someone told me this vapid joke at work today, so I framed it as above--enjoy!


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, on writing and

A Scolding from My Muse

For Miranda Lambert’s “Inspired” contest
By Carolyn Devonshire


I wanted to write for this contest;
But my muse was staging a protest.
     “Take me to the sea,” it pled,
     “In this house, I languish, dead;
Put me in touch with nature, a forest.”

“Don’t stare at a screen, confined by walls;
Locked inside, my inspiration falls.
     Surely there’s a babbling brook
     Or a valley’s overlook.
Give me something to work with,” muse calls.

“If you fail to respond, I’ll attack
As you’re sleeping in a room black.
     Thoughts you will never recall
     Cannot upon your page fall;
Without me you’re nothing but a hack!”


Poem Details | by Paul Callus |
Categories: art, humor,

Mona Lisa


Humble Olive Eloisa
Went one day to work in Pisa
She posed for awhile
Behind flashy smile
She stood in for Mona Lisa.

----------------------------------


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: christmas, humorous,

An Eavesdropping On Christmas Therapy

Four characters that we know well
have problems they all want to tell
in therapy group.
To get all the scoop,
let’s eavesdrop, for all is not well!

Believing no more in himself,
sits dear Santa Claus and an elf
who is hating his work.
Santa says, “What jerk.
I should put you back up on your shelf!”

The elf, in a huff, then fires back
(for confidence HE does not lack),
“I believed in you once,
when you weren’t such a dunce.
Old geezer, go stuff your own sack!”

The anger inside the room grows
when Rudolph, who hates his red nose,
screams, “Don’t say such stuff.
StNick’s work is tough,
and MY job, dear elf, frankly BLOWS.

You elves get to go to the mall
and smile at the children and all.
No one’s calling you names
as you play reindeer games.”
The elf yells, “At least you’re not SMALL.

You think you have woes? Look at ME.
I’m called silly names constantly.
There’s a song about YOU
and your red nose debut.
Geez, a hero you’ve now come to be!!

An elf is an elf all the same.
Kids don’t even know my real name.
Reindeer get names like Cupid.
Well, your name should be STUPID.
What I would not give for YOUR fame!”

A snowman sits stoically there.
He turns to the arguing pair.
“A carrot’s MY nose!
To death I have froze,
yet I’m melting right now in this chair!”

Dec25, 2016 for Laura Loo's Silly Christmas Cartoon Poetry Contest


Poem Details | by stephen pennell |
Categories: fun,

work limerick seems a shame to waste it posted here

Santa had an helper called Heather
and 4 little elf manager helpers
She told them to be nice
and give lots of advice
so all us call takers work together 

There once was a call centre agent
who wanted a manager to help her
No manager  could be found
they had all gone to ground.
Its tough to get help for Heathers agents 

There once was a boss called heather.
Who had 4 little team manager helpers
She got them a stick.
And a big bull whip
She even beat us with an old  piece of leather

Santa's little helper heather, once said
that all the  tm could stay in bed.
All of us cheered
And cracked open the beers 
It's not work today, we are having a party instead


heathers the big boss at work lol  


Poem Details | by Joseph May |
Categories: fun, people,

Feeling Worried - Collaboration

 Britain's Prime Minister, with charm and appeal
   Visited Trump to work out a deal
 But in a gesture unplanned
   Trump held her hand
 She was worried he'd steal a feel!

 I hear Teresa May had planned
   To hold President Trump's right hand
 Despite his best hope 
   Don Trump couldn't grope
 The moron he ought to be banned
              -Jan Allison-

 The Donald gave Teresa a squeeze
   To herself she thought what a sleaze
     But he was surprised
    When between her thighs
  He found balls as big as his knees
             -Daniel Turner-

   On her rump he placed his right hand
 Swore as they listened to the band
    A night in the sack
  I'll give Boston back
  And pay all the taxes as planned
               -Tim Smith-
 
 The Donald was conceited and thought he was all that
   He put some moves on Teresa and it was so whack
        Now his ego is not inflated
          He's not so longer elated
   Now his ego is in intacta has been mack
                       -Alexis Y.-
 
 
                    

 
            
  


Poem Details | by Suzette Richards |
Categories: funny, humorous,

The Diet ---

Skin is the best part of a nugget
Kentucky cooling in the bucket
        Slush Puppies to chase
        Forming my dietary base
Worrying about my weight ... f(orget) ‘t!

Please see the About section for further notes regarding Limericks.

4 Jan 2013

Please note that this poem was run up in a flash and not accurate in so far as meter is concerned - check the date it was written: I was still recovering from all the work over the festive season..:-) Here follows an update for the purist among you:

Skin is the best part of a nugget
Kentucky now cooling in bucket
        Slush Puppies to chase
        Forms dietary base
Worrying about my weight ... f(orget) ‘t!

Written in amphibrachic meter: In other words, how I speak and where the stresses fall naturally for my speach patern
Lines 1, 2 and 5: */*; ending with a feminine syllable
Lines 3 and 4: truncated to 5 syllable, ending in masculine syllable: */*l*/
Per my notes in the About section: "In other words, it’s got nine syllables to the long lines and six to the short ones, although it is not uncommon to leave a syllable out." 

FROM A PAGE DEDICATED TO THE CORRECT WRITING OF LIMERICKS:
The classic limerick is an anapestic trimeter of five lines with the rhyming scheme AABBA.
It is possible, although not the classic form, to replace all the anapests with amphibrachs,
but they cannot be mixed.

(The anapest [or anapaest] is a beat of UUS [Unstressed-Unstressed-Stressed] -
not to be confused with a dactyl [SUU] which should not be used in limericks.
The amphibrach is a beat of USU.)

There are three beats in the first, second and fifth lines of a limerick
and two in the third and fourth:-

Diddy-DUM diddy-DUM diddy-DUM
Diddy-DUM diddy-DUM diddy-DUM
Diddy-DUM diddy-DOM
Diddy-DUM diddy-DOM
Diddy-DUM diddy-DUM diddy-DUM

An extra syllable or a syllable fewer may sometimes be tolerated
if all the lines with the same rhyme have the same structure.


Poem Details | by Caryl Muzzey |
Categories: cat, tree,

I Once Had a Gray Cat That Could Clog

I once had a gray cat that could clog
and was better than any old dog.
His feet work was fast
but stardom didn’t last
when he fell for this stunning tree frog.

My gray cat and tree frog was to wed
on night he was to dance for our bread.
He got very sick
when frog he did lick
was quiet toxic, now gray cat is dead.

When gray cat finally reached cloud nine
told gate keeper he was feeling fine.
Though he looked quite green
he captured the scene
when he clogged to the front of the line.

Copyright © 2011 By Caryl SMuzzey

Nineth Place Winner ~ "Any Funny Poem” Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Destroyer Poet
Aug14, 2011


Poem Details | by Caryl Muzzey |
Categories: funny, work,

Cranky Boss

I worked for a cranky old boss
who came to work always quite cross.
Finally found out,
he developed gout,
when stocks took a capital loss

Copyright © 2011 By Caryl SMuzzey


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: dedication, workname, name, Grandson,

Soft Touch

(Madame is pronounced with accent on maDAME, the French way)

Near a hole in the wall, with no qualm,
Never seen, sits a frumpy Madame.
Using lotion, she works
Giving smooth strokes and jerks
With her fabulous and renowned palm.

By Andrea Dietrich

*This is the theme of a movie I saw on cable.
Its name is Irena Palm, the name a widow takes when
she goes to work at a club in order to make enough money
to allow her grandson the surgery he needs to save his
lifeIt's not a porno, but her "work" is a bit erotic yet discretely
portrayedIt got high marks from the criticsMy writing this
was inspired by Deborah Guzzi's Limerick Contest and now
I enter it into Skat's contest!


Check it out: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0762110/


Poem Details | by Joyce Johnson |
Categories: time,

Payback

There was once a young man from LaSalle,
Who quite loved to fall back in the fall.
But the spring's jump ahead
Found him lying abed
An hour late for his job at the mall

His boss said, "Being late will not do.
Falling back means one springs ahead too.
We will show you the gate
If you come to work late.
Early bed is the right way for you."


Written for Debbie's contest 3/2/15


Poem Details | by David Fisher |
Categories: angst, humorous, political,

Main-Stream Media Have-A-Heart Trap

Each day foul critters infest our house
Though not by slipping in like a mouse
We just press a button
Or buy a subscription
To get news wrote or spoke by a louse

These creatures of the two legged kind
Try hard each day to persuade our mind
With sly information
That helps the causation
Of the falling apart of mankind

They tout the need for unearned welfare
Claim hard earned profits are so unfair
And granting amnesty
Is a good policy
Plus growing our debt is fine they swear

For those who work hard earning their way
Give what they can and put some away
Are sick of the slackers
Prodded by the backers
Whose aim is using half truths to sway

It’s hard to ignore those talking heads
But it’s not right to tear them to shreds
Yet there’s a solution
And with execution
We can spread liberty in their stead

We’ll put Obama pic’s and golf caps
Along with a taped speech that he yapped
In a human sized crate
Coz it’s time to create
A main stream media Have-A-Heart trap

Like it or not, these traps are humane
But anyways, we’ll have much to gain
So, once we have caught
All those who have brought
Disinformation causing brain drain

We’ll squeeze all of them in through a pipe
Along with politicians who hype
Irrationality
And immorality
Into a sphere of the livable type

In there they can tax to the extreme
And promote their harmful fairness schemes
But when they’re out of dough
They will lip read our NO!
Since their bubble is a sound proof dream!


Poem Details | by jack horne |
Categories: love,

Big, Bad Agony Aunt's Advice

Oh, honey, your lover’s a jerk;
I promise it really can’t work -
As he’s married, of course,
And he wouldn’t divorce -
I’d deck him* and wipe off his smirk.

* to punch someone hard and knock them to the ground

For Vicky’s Agony Aunt contest


Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: computer,

My Cantankerous Computer

Last week my computer was on the fritz.

   The confounded thing was givin' me fits!

      Trouble was a sick modem.

         They jes' won't work without 'em!

            Life sans a computer is jes' the pits!

Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2015 All Rights Reserved


Poem Details | by Miss Wattle |
Categories: fun,

BAD HAIR DAY

BAD HAIR DAY There was a young lady named Fairday On Monday she had a bad hair day She twisted and clipped But it flopped and it flipped That poor young lady named Fairday. She let her hair down But she looked like a clown Then she wailed and she cried Said "Be damned, I've no pride" So went to work wearing a crown. c ELR 2013


Poem Details | by njeri hunjeri |
Categories: fun,

Boss Lady

                              Boss lady on the go!
                              No rest for an obedient bro'
                              She puts him to work from dusk to dust
                              No mercy for a brother even with trust
                              The boss lady may need some lust.


Poem Details | by Viv Wigley |
Categories: relationship,

Love and Hate

LOVE and HATE it can often be said
in relationships, share the same bed
if you're really quite shrewd
you can work out her mood-
either lipstick or bruise on my head!


Poem Details | by Brenden Taylor |
Categories: allegory, political

A True Leader's Thoughts

“One day, I’ll fin’lly align This horrible, putrid design; I’ll start at the crown, And work my way down,” Said the sheep at the end of the line.


Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: angst,

Nosy Neighbor Nuisance

She's "concerned" that my mess is immense
"I work late." Is my latest defense
Yes, my yard is a wreck
But IF you must peck
Your big NOSE might get stuck in my fence

So you KNOCKED my troublesome trooper?
Tell ya what you prim party-pooper
I will warn you once more
Poke your head through MY door?
I'll slam it right square on your snooper


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: satire, school,

How young people can get ahead

School work leads to thrilling careers
Say hooray hip hip--give three cheers!
A student's new skill
Brings success just until
The bill for the loan's in arrears!


Poem Details | by Roger Page |
Categories: funeral, people, sad, drug,

Lady of the night!

Your body men desire
It fills them full of fire
They want so much
To feel the touch
The gifts you have for hire.

You walk the streets so dark
Your future bleak and stark
You work for bugs
To buy the drugs
That really hit the mark.

Your pimp is a drug dealer
A professional money stealer
You feel the pain
Hooked on cocaine
He is your true fate-sealer.

You passing nobody to mourn
Thirty years since you were born
You only know your punter
Who really was your hunter
But it’s you the people scorn!



Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, school, teenage, work,

ALL IN A DAY'S WORK

Sometimes my work is the pits - Teenagers popping their zits With consummate art They burp and they fart … I still love my job to bits! 17th November 2015


Poem Details | by Joe Maverick |
Categories: adventure, courage,

As all time's in short supply'

A man without a job
Had scarce to fill his gob
Scanning the press did See
Much work in jeopardy..'
So his pack; on back did lob.

He'd take train to short supply
Where time; was stacked up high.'
As a man of Limerick town
He was never feeling down
For t'was surely worth the try!
 






Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny, snow, snow,

Slick Limerick

Andrea lives in a city
In which every season is pretty!
But on a bad snow day,
She drives on the freeway
And curses because it’s so %#itty(small edit for the kiddies)

**on our Utah license plates it says 
"The Greatest Snow on Earth" (yeah, right)

For PD's Contest
(After I posted this, I realized, gosh, the title
really does work because few things are as 
slick as a Utah road in winter.)


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: humor,

Well, I Declare

Why, yes, that’s a picture of me there
You cannot believe I was once fair
     Just look at your belly
     It bounces like jelly
It seems you’re now ready to compare

At least I have hair you can envy
That wig you are sporting’s not trendy
     And I still have my teeth
     You lost yours craving sweets
Behind your dentures is breath deadly
	
So you are surprised I can fight back
Rebuttals you’ll find that I don’t lack
    And speaking of “buttals”
    Your caboose just shuttles
When you bend, you reveal a huge crack

If you’ll keep your comments to yourself
You may find that I’ll behave myself
     But mocking me won’t work     
     So wipe off that wry smirk
Or I’ll hide your booze on a back shelf



*Written September 3, 2014
     



Poem Details | by Shane Cooper |
Categories: silly, work,

My Day


Hi Ho around and around we go
Where I work nothing is ever slow
Sometimes they will shout
Sometimes they will pout
What cometh next you never can know


Poem Details | by john freeman |
Categories: funny

Waxes Taxes

We dread this time of the year
We are absolutely sure 
   When we file our taxes 
   Sam will surely wax us
Greed of Uncle Sam is clear

Stopping off from work to drink a beer
Not an option is totally clear
   Senators' raises
   Citizens' gazes
So much as a beer can’t buy this year

Economy in quite a mess
Intellectuals must confess
   We’re slowly slipping
   Mortgages flipping
Armageddon is the conquest!

For and in honor  of Carolyn Devonshire
And Contest


Poem Details | by KP Nunez |
Categories: humor,

JIM THE TRIM

There once was a guy named Jim,
he trained at some cool dude’s gym.
With his daily work out
and his nightly bed bouts;
He no longer has hair now to trim.
                                  









With gratitude to Debbie Guzzi for her blog on Limerick.

KIM PATRICE NUNEZ
27 February 2015


Poem Details | by Beau Regard |
Categories: art, people, father, art,

A Portrait of Vincent VanGogh

To the proud parents, Anna and Theo
A serious lad, silent and thorough
A clan of preachers
And dealers of art
From the southern Netherlands came Van Gogh

When sent to school, he did not want to go
The separation led to much sorrow
But he learned to draw
Whatever he saw
Sent off to sell art in Paris, Van Gogh

His happiest time, and now in love, oh
Till the landlady’s daughter told him no
Now a broken heart
Surly to sell art
Fired from his job in Paris, Van Gogh

Vincent sought out a coal miners’ burrow
A priest of sorts, but a squalid fellow
The church was appalled
And cursed his resolve
To the asylum for crazy Van Gogh?

His father baffled, on the verge of foe
Art interest, once again, began to grow
Back to school again
This time, in His name
To paint in the service of God, Van Gogh

School’s out, back to his parents he would go
Using neighbors as subjects to ditto
Proposed to his cousin
Which she found disgustin’
Burning his hand to see her, holy Van Gogh!?!

Now off to The Hague, a family furlough
To live with Sien, a boozing bimbo
A man to see ya…
Caught gonorrhea
Three weeks in the hospital for Van Gogh

The pain of loneliness drove him back home
Once again, a failed love with fair Margot
Then Vincent’s father died
He grieved deeply inside
The tragedy further refined Van Gogh

Finally, Vincent’s work was in the know
“The Potato Eaters” made an art show
Just add more color
Said his dear brother 
Rubens brightened the dark gloom of Van Gogh

Vincent’s diet: coffee and tobacco
Mixed with absinthe began to take its toll
Though he kept on painting
Then Paris, more training
The end was getting closer for Van Gogh

The masters: Monet, Degas, Pissarro
Cezanne, and Seurat in his studio
Influenced his style
Learning all the while
That time was running out for MrVan Gogh

Then he moved to Arles, bad health in tow
Completing great works the whole world would know 
“Sunflowers” (in vase)
“The Café Terrace”
Minus one ear, the frail, ailing Van Gogh

With his tattered mind, and mournful woe
Committed to the asylum, Mausole
With his final works
“The Church at Auvers”
“Starry Night” was painted in pain, Van Gogh

“At Eternity’s Gate”, he was sorrow
Wandered into a field, farmer’s fallow
Put a bullet in his chest
In hopes of peaceful rest
“The sadness will last forever”, Van Gogh


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

ANOTHER POOH POEM

I once wrote a poem about pooh Pooh’s a normal thing we ALL do I'm now constipated For I got berated Guess what - now I'm stuck on the loo! N.B I will NOT take criticism of my work sitting down! lol 5th June 2015


Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: funny, sin, work,

A Halo

There was once was a lady from town
Who wore a halo like a crown
Told her daughter-in-law
Dresses should wear like squaw
Wore one to work and naked frowned

The loom grabbed her dress and wham bam
Naked from the waist down~life in jam
Supervisor gave coat
Took her home and I quote
"I put my blue jeans on grand slam"

My mother was a very stern believer that women should wear dresses..
My brother married late in life and his wife worked in the weaving department..
She did a job called filling batteries..She had to walk between the looms to do
her job..They had suggested to the women that they should wear tight fitting 
pants or blue jeans..To please my mother she made her a new dress and wore 
it to work..First thing, it got caught..It ripped it and her slip off..She was left 
standing naked.

  

Sponsor: Black Eyed Susan
Contest: Any New Limerick


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, loss, me, old,

Bug Lover

She had more than a hundred thousand miles
But when I saw the “bug,” it gave me smiles
     Bright and red, it had some kinks
     Radio on -- off it blinks
But the engine withstood many more trials

This tiny Volkswagen looked like an elf
I had learned to change her tires by myself
     She chugged hard going uphill
     Just drive slow, she’d make it still
I knew she’d never be placed on a shelf

With tune-ups and oil lubes, she kept going
And never once did she require towing
     She took me from work to school
     Made me feel so very cool
My love for my bug just kept on growing

Time for a new car come graduation
But it never gave me the sensation
     Of being queen of the road
     When it was time to unload
My cousin drove "bug," e’er making her run

Do you remember the movie “Sleeper”
Bug found in cave seemed claimed by the Reaper
     Woody turned the key; it ran
     A centuries-old life span
I ask myself, “Why didn’t I keep her?”

New is nice, but reliable’s better
That tough old bug was quite the go-getter
     It was just one month later
     I was a new car hater
Driving the Camry, I was a fretter

I tried to buy my old Volkswagen back
To convince my cousin, I had no knack
     He loved my bug, laughed at me
     Refused to return the key
When my new Toyota’s engine did crack 



*By Carolyn Devonshire for Carol Brown’s “My First Car” contest


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: on writing and wordslove,

What's Better than That

Written by Andrea Dietrich 
For the "Inspired" Contest
Sponsored by Miranda Lambert

What's Better Than That?

When my chores are all done, and it’s night,
and the everyday world’s out of sight,
with my paper and pen
I retire once again
to the room where I most love to write.

With soft pillows to prop up my head,
I sit comfortably on my bed.
Though I might seem at rest,
there’s a creative test
of real work going on in my head!

I can write anywhere, but I’m wed
to my poetry; thus, I am led
where I’m free to take time
making love to the rhyme,
and what’s better for that - than in bed?



Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny,

Ma Bell, Where Art Thou

Ma Bell, Where Art Thou?

I just constantly need to be shown
how to work half the gadgets I own.
At my now older age
the new “Smart” phone’s the rage;
I still have not mastered a DUMB phone!


(I posted the title again because Soup's title line
disallows question marks, which I find are very
necessary in some poem titles! And I bet if a 
young'un reads this, they won't even know what
Ma Bell represents! BTW, it was the name of the
telephone company used by many in my childhood.
It seemed to have a monopoly on land lines!)


For "Techno-Limericks Poetry Contest"


Poem Details | by john scott |
Categories: depression, work, work,

Microwave slave

I thought I knew the way things work
The twists and tweaks and all the quirks
I thought I knew my way around
At fifty three a man of town
From my birth until my grave
I cannot work my microwave
I read that damn book upside down
Inside out and round and round
Things don't cook early
Things don't cook late
They just stay static on the plate
They don't go up
They don't go down
Left or right or round and round
Cook them once, cook them twice
Plated meals are cold as ice
One min, two min, even three
The damn thing just won't work for me
So I sit here and grow so thin
Are you supposed to plug it in


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny, on work and

Blockheads

"At a Place Called MrQuick's"

Serving burgers called “Quickies” I spent
time at work as a teen, and no gent
would I too often see!
Many blockheads asked me
for a quickie (a burger not meant)! 


For P.D's  BLOCK~ BLOCK~ BLOCK Poetry Contest


Poem Details | by Sharon Smith |
Categories: animal, for children, nature,

In A Land Far Away Is A Tree

In a land far away is a tree,
In which there lives a small bee,
His continuous buzz,
Is the work that he does,
It seems like a good job to me.


Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: funny,

The Second Lieutenant

The second lieutenant had a snip, snip For some reasons then it was very hip Told the chief he couldn't stay The chief thought he wanted to play Dropped his drawers his swollen parts to strip
Another fire department story... He had a little male surgery. He was suppose to work because the doctor had said that he could come in.. He had developed swelling in his male parts so he showed the chief what was wrong why he could not work..LOL


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: funny, political

Running Taxes

Many returns are sent by faxes
Declaring our earnings for taxes
When they don't work it out
Please give me a shout
Next time I'll send them some laxatives


Poem Details | by Joel Hunt |
Categories: funny,

Rhyme

Rhyme in time.
Lime sublime.
Monday time to work or experience
something new.
Limerick.


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: computer-internet, funny

A Techno-Nightmare

Grandma sneered at my computer in awe;
Contempt did build and it stuck in her craw.
     Said it was the devil’s work,
     The new keys drove her berserk.
She claimed they had to be against God’s law.

“What do these things mean, page up and page down?”
So she pressed “escape,” continued to frown
     All of my work had been lost
     And I was growing quite cross
In my cussing, grandma started to drown

“Why did you hit escape?” I had to ask.
“Now I must begin anew this tough task.”
     She responded politely,
     “I hate this technology
And wanted you to "escape" Satan’s grasp!”



*For Natalie's "Talkin' Technology" contest


Poem Details | by Caryl Muzzey |
Categories: funny

Nudity at Work

I dreamed I went to work in the nude, 
being slighted I thought was quite rude.
I was paid no mind,
to my stripped behind,
so I found a broke lawyer who sued.

Second Place Winner ~ "Compromising Dreams” Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: John Freeman
July 28, 2010



Poem Details | by Joyce Johnson |
Categories: funny

Trying Again

I know before I even make’em
That sure as fate, I’m gonna break’em.
A mere resolution
Is not the solution
Takes hard work and strong will to shake’em.




For Carolyn's New Year's Resolution contest.Won 2nd


Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: jobs, life,

Subtly

There once was a trucking company
Held together with duck tape funny
Repairs a lick and promise
Polished with cloth and Comet
Mechanics work done very subtly  


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: abuse, power, scary,

The fox is hunting us

They choose and ooze one-sided views
Which suffuse weak minds and confuse 
With truth distorted
Fair and balanced thwarted
Fox News is the ultimate ruse


Author's note: Someone at work puts this on in the gym all day The "reporters" are paid to gab about what matters from the very rich and selfish point of view It is a real freak show People I know who I thought were intelligent repeat the talking points with absolute belief Fortunately, a lot of people sense the charade.