Limerick Poems About Women | Women Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: adventure, wife,

A Desperate Housewife - in limerick form

A desperate housewife I knew
had such mundane housework to do.
Being so tired of it,
she decided to quit.
Then off to Las Vegas she flew.

Having always been such a lithe girl,
she thought “I’ll give dancing a whirl!”
Her audition went well.
From a large oyster shell
She emerged, so they all dubbed her Pearl.

Her skin, soft and fair, shone like dew
as she smiled with eyes crystal blue.
All the men threw her money
as her voice, sweet as honey,
called out, “Let me entertain you!”

As Pearl danced each night, looking pretty,
Her husband, back in her home city,
was fit to be tied,
thinking maybe she’d died!
Poor fool didn’t have a clue, did he!

Unbeknownst to sweet Pearl, her “dear” spouse
had been sneaking off as she’d played house.
To conventions he’d said
he was goingInstead,
he’d been gambling in Vegas, that louse!

Off to strip clubs he’d gone every chance
that he gotHow he loved to see dance
naked women all sizes 
in sexy disguises
while his wife at home longed for romance.

Now the tables were very much turned.
And her husband was feeling quite spurned.
He would sleep restlessly
thinking where could she be!!
But her whereabouts he never learned.

No longer could he run away
on a whimHe still had bills to pay.
That cleaning and cooking
meant no time for looking
at girls! He had less time to play.

In Vegas, his wife had come far.
In fact, she was a superstar.
Wearing naught but a fan,
she’d entice every man,
then drive home in a pearl-colored car!

Her spouse lost his jobThe years fled.
His wife he then had declared dead.
But with no job in sight,
he’d stay home each night,
with loneliness causing him dread.

Do you think this guy ever has let
his conscience feel any regret
that his wife did so much
while he gambled and such?
Has he learned anything at all yet?

Did he marry and get a new bride?
Did Pearl go and change her sweet ride
to a sleek red Corvette,
and did SHE marry yet?
I leave it to YOU to decide!

Written June 2016 for the Desperate Housewife Contest of PD

Poem Details | by Dale Gregory Cozart |
Categories: candy, humor,

Ode to Chocolate-COLLABORATION

To chocolate I pay my respects
Some folks say its better than sex
whether milk dark or white
Ev’ry bar I must bite
or I'll get a lack of choccy complex

I NEED chocolate it’s an unwritten rule
I'm a woman not a blithering fool
Give me a constant supply
On days that end with a Y
when choc’s smeared round my mouth it looks cool


Most women love something that’s sweet
And chocolate it cannot be beat
Deny them and they’ll pout
Choc is all they think about
Many men think it's all that they'll eat.


She lustingly said to bring some to her room
off went my trousers in a vertical zoom
I gazed in her eyes
but to my surprise
I gave her the chocolate she gave me a broom


Give me the chocolate and forget the sex
But please don't send it through Fed Ex
It'll melt in the summer
And that's a real bummer
Now that's a problem to vex and perplex


Chocolates make me feel great
I forget the part about weight
If I was a tad thinner
Would think chocolate ideal for dinner
Will settle for sex after eight


Chocolate is all that she wishes
She loves anything that Swiss is
I brought her a box
She quick changed the locks
Guess I’ll just go sleep with the Mrs.


One woman with sweet loving lips
ate nothing but dark chocolate chips.
Her husband's retort?
"To enter her port
is like docking between two battleships!"


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: adventure, humor,

Better Run

I’m a scoundrel that travels by sea
with me matesWe are happy and free
cause we live life with ease
doing just what we please.
It’s the life of a pirate for me!

If you see in the distance our mast
with the skull and the crossbones, run fast!
We’ll be comin’ for you
and your women folk too.
There is nothing of yours that’ll last!

Cause we’ll loot and pollute till we’re through,
burn your houses and then come for you.
Better run far away.
Run into the next day,
cause your gold we’ll be lookin’ for too.

Leave by boat, and I’m gonna be frank,
when we catch ya, that boat will be sank.
Once we drink us some rum,
we’ll be having our fun
watching captives of ours walk the plank!

I suppose we might have sympathy
for a maid who acts dutifully.
But if you’ve got a wife,
better run for your life,
for no honor nor scruples have we!

 Since a pirate don’t do what he should,
if you see us in your neighborhood,
better get up and go.
Bad is good and Yo! Ho!
Me pirate life’s better than good!

For the the A Pirate's Life For Me Poetry Contest of Kelly Deschler

Poem Details | by Rob Bettridge |
Categories: humorous,

PEACE AT LAST - A collaboration with JAN ALLISON

There are women who feel a strong need To nag men until their ears bleed In a war of attrition With relentless petition Is a cruel way to make men concede Men wish for a life of peace But get nagged by a tongue that won't cease Men will just say It's the female DNA That must out in it's need for release We can’t help it; we just HAVE to nag Guess some folks would call us 'an old hag' Men get on our nerves When you paw at our curves You should give up and wave the white flag We can suffer from bad PMT, Become ogres that men want to flee We Scream and we Shout Say We’ll throw you out But for some reason you wont let us be Better by far, we should try this next time It's effective and will prove sublime By wearing Earplugs In each of our Lugs We'll be laughing, whilst nagging - in Mime Laughing together will lighten our day It's a tonic to chase all our problems away For a really Big Smile Can last a long while And we'll both get on better that way

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: chocolate, humorous,


To chocolate I pay my respects Some folks say its better than sex whether milk dark or white Ev’ry bar I must bite or I'll get a lack of choccy complex I NEED chocolate it’s an unwritten rule I'm a woman not a blithering fool Give me a constant supply On days that end with a Y when choc’s smeared round my mouth it looks cool Most women love something that’s sweet And chocolate it cannot be beat Deny them and they’ll pout Choc is all they think about Many men think it's all that they'll eat. Collaboration with Dale Gregory Cozart *** Dale posted the poem yesterday and it turned into a collaboration - please feel free to add your poem to his page *** 07-26-17

Poem Details | by Richard Lamoureux |
Categories: funeral, snow,

Unbearable Paul

There once was a snowman named Paul
Quite sadly he had a great fall
When he landed on his head
They thought for sure he was dead
Paul Bearers they started to call

Rich the Ball Bearer

There once was a snow man named Rich
He wore no clothing not a stitch
His snow balls were big and round
yet they were not easily found
Can you help poor rich scratch his itch? 

Note: No snow men or women were harmed in the writing of these poems.
         Mind you it is possible that balls might have been scratched.

December 30th, 2017

For Eve Roper’s Upside Down World Contest

Poem Details | by ilene bauer |
Categories: flying,

Before Takeoff

The planes were lined up in a queue,
A reminder of something I knew.
     They awaited permission
      Like at intermission 
In theaters outside of the loo.

One by one each one skyward immersed
As the rest inched up closer to first
     But like women in line
     Still not given the sign
There were tempers (and bladders!) to burst.

Poem Details | by Paul Callus |
Categories: beauty, poetess,

The Ladies On Soup A:Z

From A to Z and full of flare
The ladies come, intent to share
Words of wisdom and allure
All their musing, bright, obscure;
Emotion strong they lay it bare.

With broken-heart some plan a coup
Against distress and then regroup
With their beauty they beguile
All these women have got style
With golden pen they stir the Soup.

Contest: A Valentine Limerick (2015)
Sponsor: Skat A
Placed: 4th 

Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: funny, sin, work,

A Halo

There was once was a lady from town
Who wore a halo like a crown
Told her daughter-in-law
Dresses should wear like squaw
Wore one to work and naked frowned

The loom grabbed her dress and wham bam
Naked from the waist down~life in jam
Supervisor gave coat
Took her home and I quote
"I put my blue jeans on grand slam"

My mother was a very stern believer that women should wear dresses..
My brother married late in life and his wife worked in the weaving department..
She did a job called filling batteries..She had to walk between the looms to do
her job..They had suggested to the women that they should wear tight fitting 
pants or blue jeans..To please my mother she made her a new dress and wore 
it to work..First thing, it got caught..It ripped it and her slip off..She was left 
standing naked.


Sponsor: Black Eyed Susan
Contest: Any New Limerick

Poem Details | by Rebecca Beirne |
Categories: family, funny, , cute,

Elaine's Limerick


Let me tell you of my sister-in-law Elaine
Whose breasts drive most males insane
With her size double D’s 
They bring men to their knees
Her name’s in the breast hall of fame  

She says being big busted like me
Is not all it’s cracked up to be
She says in frustration
Try and hold a conversation
When there’s only two things a guy sees

But although she is much well endowed
Of her breasts she is so very proud
She tailors them cute 
In their double D suits
To make them stand out in a crowd

Her breasts they are not a disgrace
Even though they won’t stay in one place
They wiggle they wobble 
And sometimes they gobble
And unsaddled they fall to her waist

Recalling her lactating years
Monstrous they brought her to tears
Like torpedoes they fell
To her lap they did swell
Her son cried, “Mom I can't nurse from down here!”

When her milk came she thought she’d implode
Then like volcanoes they both would explode
She’d bind them real tight
They put up quite a fight
Till she cried, “No more can I carry this load”

At the lake when she jumps off the boat
A life vest she’s no need to tote
For she bobs up and down
Impossible to drown
Like buoys they keep her afloat

To enlarge them women pay a big fee
To, say a thirty-six C, D or E
But hers are quite natural
She can use them as collateral
And they didn’t even cost her a penny

She has memories of breasts standing high
Neither one was the least bit shy
But gravity has taken its tow
For they now sit quite low
But with underwire she can make them look spry

They're so big that to some they look wrong
But she can bounce them to the beat of a song
They're no longer high and round
They're like two sagging mounds
Because she's now a size Double D long

Poem Details | by Reason A. Poteet |
Categories: mother,

There's No Taking Mom's Place

If for one week each man could be mother,
then men might think as mothers think.
	Could you stand the life
	Say of being your own wife?
Dirty dishes do not belong in the sink.

For one week, all men should run the home;
trade places with the cook for a real trip.
	Think of planning every meal,
	mashing potatoes with no peel.
Did you fix the faucet that’s started to drip?

You’d change the beds and clean the clothes,
of rust, blood, and ink there’d be no trace
	Be a mind reader at times
	solving children’s crimes,
you’d show your children God and his grace.

Part magician, part clown, part traffic cop,
you’d give birth, nurse all who need care.
	Respond to each cry,
	answer every “why?”,
know how to get bubble gum out of hair.

Of the women I’ve known who’ve been mothers
by men they can’t be supplanted.
	Trade-offs are fun to ponder
	and can make us wonder
why on earth men take mothers for granted.

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: funny love,

My favorite republican for 2016

The Castros make Rubio rowdy
To them he'll never say howdy
Marco's so steady
So why he is ready
To kiss the kings who are Saudi?

Author's Note:  Are Saudi Kings beloved by their people and so much better than Cuban dictators?  Do Saudi royals not need body guards or a secret police force to maintain order?  Do they travel among the people and never use private jets?  Are the decisions made in Saudi Arabia completely democratic and open? Does the royal family limit its personal wealth out of a sense of fairness to its people?  Do they treat women fairly?  OMG--Could Raoul and Fidel be so much worse than our friendly ally?  Never forget who crashed the planes into the twin towers They weren't Cubans!

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, political, satire,


Some folks will be down in the dumps Hillary lost … Donald came up trumps Britain made their exit They voted for Brexit I have a question …are we all chumps? JAN ALLISON 11~09~16 I think we're all sick of the status quo They get rich and to us a bone they throw Our vote reflects Too much neglect So let's cover our ears and enjoy the show WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH Nothing can kill an erection Quiet like a Presidential Election I limped to my room Feeling the doom But woke Okay with the national selection. WRITTEN BY JAMES ANDERSEN DUCK WINS! SALAMANDER CONCEDES! It was a pretty heady do’in But duck was good at poo’in Plus loud quacks And nasty attacks Political skills for a shoo in WRITTEN BY LIM'RICK FLATS Trump defeated Hillary Clinton in spades She conceded, his hand was well played No more bickering Nor cat fighting America has voted, the choice was made WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y The vitriol flowed, the venom spewed The gamut was run from nasty to rude They covered their flaws By flapping their jaws At least neither showed up in the nude WRITTEN BY JOHN LAWLESS That smirking skunk likes to blow his TRUMPet And treat all women like they are strumpets Oh for goodness sake He's an evil snake If there's a woman he says, "I'll hump it!" WRITTEN BY MARTI SUTHERLAND Two taxpayers in Thomaston Checked the donate a dollar box~ done Many months now have been wooed By two candidates pursued Can't believe the smug smile cause he won WRITTEN BY SARA KENDRICK Lay in bed, watched TV, gripped in fear As results on the screen all appeared Thought 'Clinton', what a chump Since I've woke woke with a trump' She said 'yes, I can smell it from here' WRITTEN BY VIV WIGLEY All the white beer bellied rednecks are stump Those are out of work that voted for Trump Up in arms not with humor Because there is a rumor going around his cite taking a dump Import a hundred- thousand to perk Mexican immigrants smirk To build his high brick wall, The unmitigated gall cheap economics and people to work WRITTEN BY SONNY AND EVE ROPER There was a candidate whose name was Trump In the white house wanted to set up camp With any chance that he found Convinced everyone around Thus people voted for the dirty tramp! WRITTEN BY DEMETRIOS TRIFIATIS The trumpet has now been blown The king ascends to his throne But who will pay the bail When Hillary's in jail We've entered the twilight zone WRITTEN BY JOSEPH MAY There once was a rich billionaire Who took away the poors healthcare Breeds hatred for Islam He's a walking time bomb The guys america's worse nightmare WRITTEN BY STEPHEN PENNELL

Poem Details | by Shanity Rain |
Categories: absence, betrayal, confusion, cry,

my heart I gave once

once I gave my heart 
mesmerized by the start 
his eyes so sapphire blue 

I was not ready for this
my thoughts went blank 
literally speechless

had I known the tears I would be left with
I do not believe I would have let love in
this Man , he knew he captivated women 

Always me going for what I can not have 
then in return it is given , leaving me confused
the one I was seeking for sure would never commit 

Commit he did , even in front of a Rabbi 
saying only once, 1 time will I.
with all conviction I believed his lie 

I remember the Fall day he left without words spoken 
the leaves were dancing through the wind 
as if they were trying to tell me something 

the rain cried tears for me that night 
I took his sword collection down from the wall
thinking in true love I will never find again

to die a graceful poetic death with his sword
I awoke with a hangover the next day 
my heart broken  my heart ignored

Poem Details | by Sara Chansarkar |
Categories: beauty, pain,

High Heels

why do we women wear high heels even if it feels like walking on spikes of steel balancing self and vanity on a pointy stump women everywhere—young, old, slight or plump to demands of beauty and conformity, we all do kneel those capricious stilettos, so shiny but sinister often leave a mark, bruise, corn or blister hurt gullible shins, calf, hips, ankle and back please someone banish them from the rack oh!please forbid them, our reverend minister. inches they do add to a woman’s height wonder if the reward is worth the plight why does she need to be tall as man when it was never part of God’s plan smaller but no less, she’s proved it alright. Written on 06/16/2016

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: for her, for him,


There are women who feel a strong need To nag men until their ears bleed In a war of attrition With relentless petition Is a cruel way to make men concede Men wish for a life of peace But get nagged by a tongue that won't cease Men will just say It's the female DNA That must out in its need for release We can’t help it; we just HAVE to nag Guess some folks would call us 'an old hag' But men get on our nerves When you paw at our curves Men should give up and wave the white flag We can suffer from bad PMT, Become ogres that men want to flee We scream and we shout Say we’ll throw you out But for some reason you wont let us be Better by far, we should try this next time It's effective and will prove sublime By wearing earplugs In each of our lugs We'll be laughing whilst nagging - in mime Laughing together will lighten our day It's a tonic to chase our problems away For a really big smile Can last a long while And we'll both get along better that way 24th January 2016-01-24 Collaboration by Jan Allison and Rob Bettridge

Poem Details | by Kate sparks |
Categories: funny, gender, humorous,


A little blue pill called Viagra
helps horny old men in Niagra.
So women beware,
anyone with a pair
is thinking of how he can shag ya.

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: beauty,

World's Most Beautiful Woman

There are so many gorgeous women in the world How can we choose ONE, that puts us ALL in a whirl Walk down the street Many beauties we meet Wind up with agastopia, my toes they do curl © Jack Ellison 2015
“agastopia” - admiration of a part of someone's body

Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: lost love,

Limerick crochet: The Saga of Sea Anne-Anne

Limerick crochet: The Saga of Sea Anne-Anne

Once the Captain of the good ship Anne-Anne
Took to the waves to conquer the main.
Slept round the clock mid-ship
Towed his women aft-ship:
Yet women and ship turned on him in pain.

The Flying Oarsman won America gain
And tamed the raging waters Sea Anne-Anne.
One cup he never won
Was the Darling fourth one:
A touching tale this: the tears shed by Jane!

© TWignesan – Paris, 2013

Poem Details | by Suzette Richards |
Categories: dance, humor, humorous, sensual,


It’s Saturday Night Fever, “Staying Alive”
Do not dare do the jive near beehive
     His white trousers so tight
     Nothing can see the light
My natural drive giving a ‘high five’

Who remembers this movie and the dance moves? And that hair on Trevolta! Close to the beehive hairdos that the women sported a few decades

Inspired by Karen  Anglesey's "Jive in a Beehive"...

Poem Details | by Jimmy Anderson |
Categories: funny

Dandy Randy

There once was a pris'ner named Randy 
who lived up to his name real Dandy
   The women he knew 
   could never be true 
for they'd rather have candy than Randy 

For Deborah Guzzi's Limerick contest

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: class, horror, political, truth,

apology to misguided feminists

Clinton on steroids—Fiornina 
She shreds truth like a hyena
Let's make the world right
No—she’d much rather fight 
As the killer in the arena

Can Hillary have the right stuff?
She couches words not a tight muff
If her clothes be stripped 
See the mummy from the crypt
Quite rough to see her in the buff

For billionaires—Super PACS pander
Their “MO” is to ooze slander
So join with Bernie
Sanders' great journey
Since he's Mrethics and candor 

Author's Note: There are two women running for the 2016 White House I only wish that there was a more qualified woman running for whom I could vote--like Elizabeth Warren This past Friday I went into Manhattan and saw Bernie Sanders speak Recently, he spoke at Liberty University, and the event is searchableBTW, I see Hillary and Carly as sisters in deceit There is something very wrong with the body language, speech and ideas of each They both are owned by big money My apologies to the hard core supporters of these two beastly hypocrites.

Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, sea,

Yarns of a Seafaress

Hemingway’s famous “Old Man and the Sea”
Simply couldn’t hold a candle to me
     I caught Ahab’s great white whale
     Did some surfing on his tail
Made him jump through hoops ‘fore I set him free

In Scotland I gave Nessie a big scare
As with my huge net, the beast I did snare
     I held on as Nessie tugged
     Then set her free as I shrugged
To tell the truth, Nessie hadn’t a prayer

And now I’ve set my sights on the Kraken
Oh yes, I’m more than a fishing bumpkin
     And so for Norway I sail
     To prove women aren’t frail
This giant squid is simply a munchkin

Written for Susan’s “Ridiculous Self-Exaggerations” contest
*Last line is the metaphor

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: addiction, humorous, men, women,


Most compulsives have never confessed
There are thoughts with which we're obsessed
Our inner vision
Views with great precision
The women our eyes have undressed

Poem Details | by Joe Flach |
Categories: funny

Dying to Meet Women

There once was a man on the beach
Hoping for women to meet
      To try to look thin
      He held his breath in
And passed out dead at their feet.

Poem Details | by Deb Wilson |
Categories: fantasy, holidayhalloween, love,

The Vampire And The Lady Of The Night

There once was a vampire called Vincent
Finding true love was his main intent
As he skulked through the night
Causing women a fright
Biting necks was how he chose to vent

One night Vincent met up with a lady
You might say her job was rather shady
Soon she said what the heck
And she offered her neck
Then he gave her a thrill hot as Hades!

She fell in love as he sucked her blood
Vincent too as he felt his heart thud
Now he was quite love-struck
Could not believe his luck
She made him feel like some vampire stud!

*for Halloween Limerick contest
sponsored by John Freeman

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: friendship,

My Favorite Devonshire

Yarns Of A Seafaress

Hemingway's famous "Old Man and the Sea"
Simply couldn't hold a candle to me
    I caught Ahab's great white whale
    Did some surfing on his tail
Made him jump through hoops 'fore I set him free

In Scotland I gave Nessie a big scare
As with my huge net, the beast I did snare
    I held on as Nessie tugged
    Then set her free as I shrugged
To tell the truth, Nessie hadn't a prayer

And now I've set my sights on the Kraken
Oh yes, I'm more than a fishing bumpkin
    And so for Norway I sail
    To prove women aren't frail
This giant squid is simply a munchkin

This wonderful poem epitomizes Carolyn's love for everything about the sea.
She has so creatively and entertainly regaled us with her delightful writes based on
her own personal sea adventures that have become and will remain classics  
I can picture Carolyn standing on the prow of a boat, her hair streaming in the wind,   
as it charges full steam ahead as she seeks further swashbuckling challenges beyond 
the horizon  She has been a supporter and encourager to me not only in poetic matters but personal matters as well I pray that her well of verse will never run dry!

Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fantasy,

Clothing Was Banned

Dreamt last night I was king of a land A paradise filled with gorgeous women and men Sunshine galore Couldn't ask for more Decreed in an edict, all clothing was banned

Poem Details | by mike dailey |
Categories: love,

The Muffin Man

I’d like you to meet Muffin Man
And just so you all understand
His name comes from munchin’
And we ain’t talking luncheon
The women all say he sure can

Poem Details | by JACQUELYN STURGE |
Categories: funny, love, people


I once knew a guy named Constantine
Who fell for a girl named Clementine,
And they started to date
But this was her sad fate,
Dumped her the week before Valentine.

Poor Clementine her heart was broken
She thought that he loved her for certain,
After Valentine's day
He called her to say,
I'm sorry, I was so mistaken.

Well Clementine took back her man
But he didn't know she had a plan,
He asked her to marry
She said she'd be happy,
At the Alter she left him and ran.

This is for you cheap fellas out there
Who break up with your women each year,
Please know what you're doing
We love to get even,
And then you would be living in fear.

Poem Details | by David Bose |
Categories: humor, thanksgiving,

Overlooked Tradition

Deprived pilgrim wives ruminated
On ways to get hubbies elated:
After Thanksgiving chow
Ogling men hollered “wow!”
As wet-shirted women they rated.

Poem Details | by Dom- X- |
Categories: adventure,

My Favorite Devonshire

~~Backstage Disaster~~ 

Learned lots of things in theater workshop class
I was surprised when I learned I had passed
     Just one tool I'd not mastered
     The great Nail Gun Disaster
I had nailed the director in the _ss


I only come to read a few poems, once a monthAfter reading Carolyn’s funny limerick, she encouraged the limerick I entered In Pd’s contest.
Two of the greatest women I follow throughout the soup site.
All her poems are full of inspiration :D

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: angst,

Another Loss By Hillary

Another Loss By Hillary

 A lot of people are upset about Hillary's loss
Politics should be kept out off of FaceBook just like out of church
I am really worried about TrumpStaff he is choosing are a bunch of has beensStock market is already being affectedWe are headed for some hard times.
The Bradley Effect and Closet voters highly affected the election.  They either told people that they would vote one way but voted another or they came out of the closet, voted, and returned back.
Many women gave into their husbands and went ahead and voted their way just to get them off of their backsGuess you could call it being hen-peckedWhat is going to happen when Trump has to go on trial in the cases of the 12 women abused? I had already heard long ago how Trump U
had taken advantage of people
Once in office Trump will have to expose his tax returnAll other previous Presidents did thisHis return is not going to be audited foreverActually, the only one being audited is the current one and he could have released all previous onesYou can actually go on line and see the income tax returns of all past Presidents
Comey will be under a Congressional investigation as to why he did what he did and when he did itHe broke the Hatch Act which I know about having been a Federal employeeWhat would have been really interesting is if Trump would have run as a Democrat and Hillary as a Republican
Trump wasn't really electedThe representative of the Republican Party was elected no matter who it had beenQualities, experience and education should be prerequisites not party affiliation
What amazed me is the higher your education and more satisfied you are, the more likely you were to vote for HillaryThe lower your education level was and less satisfied you were with the way things are the more likely you were to vote for TrumpThe more open your mind was the more likely you were to vote for Hillary as opposed to less likely voting for Trump
Often it is better to be safe than sorryWe may end up being sorry but I hope not.

Poem Details | by Demetrios Trifiatis |
Categories: cheer up, fun, ,


There was a man who thought himself as cute*

Believed that women saw him as ripe fruit 

At the mirror always looked

With himself was surly hooked

Feared his charms were about from him to loot! 

(C) Demetrios Trifiatis

         24 July 2015

* I have noticed that a lot of poets, these days, are 
writing Limericks so, not to be..outdone, I thought 
to try once! 

Poem Details | by DAVID WALLACE |
Categories: funny

competition limerick

You’ve pushed the boat out once again
You’re out there on the beach
With the one you chose
 to exchange your vows
Were the best ones out of reach?

Well you’ve done it now the deed is done
So make the best of it
Treat him mean 
and keep him keen
Avoid litigious writs.

Italian life is wonderful,
 all women wine and song,
But this thing I’ll teach, 
allow him one of each
and you won’t go too far wrong

best regards
David Wallace
Competition entry

Poem Details | by Ethan Plummer |
Categories: angst,


we reach for nothingness
these things we cannot caress
our days never return from their nights
a women never receives her rights
long lives we live in games of chess

Poem Details | by Richard Lamoureux |
Categories: appreciation, beautiful, humorous, sexy,

Tongue Twister Time

Big Bill

Big Bill is a ginormous man
Of gorgeous women he's truly a fan
He much prefers women of size
With bouncy butts, luscious thighs
They make Big Bill feel like a man

Bounceless women Big Bill finds too small
For him no itsy bitsy boobies at all
His big hands squeeze way too tight
The best parts don't fit quite right
So Big Bill celebrates big over small!

Big Bill prefers bouncy butts to itsy bitsy bounceless boobies.

Poem Details | by Sidney Hall Mad Poet |
Categories: funnyme,

To you who dumped me

To all the women that dumped me over the years
I got something to tell you that will shed tears 
When I go down there
I don’t come up for air
Cause I learned to breathe through me ears

Poem Details | by Bart Jonas |
Categories: funny,

hate them LOVE HANDLES

I am small
and gaining WEIGHT
from the chips that I had ATE
Just around the BEND(I can barely do that,FRIEND)
Gut around the MIDDLE while my nephew tells a RIDDLE
Exploding sudden  GAS  ,it came from my rotund ASS
Chicks no longer LOOK at this unsightly SCHNOOK
as I eat my TWINKIE,the underoos are getting STINKY
What do men and women FEAR-besides an enema to the REAR?
unbearable stomach SIZE of a fatso that we DESPISE
Mother wants to give son TREAT by buying hamburger,Burger King SWEET
Dom Deluise has shown me the WAY to get more pound and flab
by expanding every DAY
Spaghetti and a MEATBALL to placate hunger and it's tasty CALL

Love handles is a feeling WHICH..
I quite fear,
life can be an unfair -ITCH!!

Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: humor,

Sweet but Salty

She was so sweet when he first met her that day But it turns out she wasn't really that way She was sweet as honey Cause she wanted money Now he's vowed " from women stay far away" Then he met Sally , what more can I say She had great curves and wanted to play On his wounds she poured salt It was all her damn fault And again for his lust he had to pay

Poem Details | by Alexis Y. |
Categories: humorous,


   Dan thought he was one hip ladies man
Said, he could get the girls, he had the plan
                But he wasn't a mack
               His delivery was whack
When women saw him coming they just ran

     For Giggle Of The Day Challenge 

11-27- 16
Alexis Y.

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy, humorous, universe,

Trump An Old Clod

Trump An Old Clod

Trump had become an old clod
Wanted women with beautiful bod
A prior Miss Universe insulting
Psychological problems were resulting
Can you imagine him being made by God.

About Trump I wrote a long lyric
About big head that is hemispheric
But short limerick wrote instead
By Trump down path were led
Would not understood word esoteric.

Will Trump's reality really recover
While over us he does like to hover
And what I find most infuriating
Women always seems to be hating
Likes thinking he is a great lover.

As in Trump Tower sun arose
Tells many lies with a long nose
We are starting to get suspicious
Said daughter does looks delicious
Has psychological problem I suppose.

No matter where Trump goes or went
His actions are all really irreverent
And in mighty tower when it is misty
Business he will plan which is risky
Can you believe he has God's consent.

Jim Horn

Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: lust, sensual, uplifting, women,

Limerick: The chief cause of all personal problems

Limerick: The chief cause of all personal problems

The chief cause of all personal problems
Some* women need daily orgasms
Build them hot dream box
Which jerks farts and rocks
Made to fit all sizes ‘n’ perversions.

•	I hesitate/vacillate between “some” and “most”.
Would some kind soul enlighten me!

© TWignesan – Paris, 2015

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: giggle, boy,

A Little Boy Image

What really attracts most women to men Does the size of their biceps make ladies yen Methinks not, that ain't it A little boy image is always a hit So start wearing a diaper with a loaded back end

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: humorous,

Trump In A Pickle

Trump In A Pickle

Someone ran over Trump's bicycle
Chose another he was in a pickle
And with women wherever he went
Had failed to obtain their consent
All he did was their toes tickle.

Jim Horn

Poem Details | by Robb A. Kopp |
Categories: adventure, health

Top Secret

My tactics in the battle of the bulge
The secret I hasten to divulge
     To neither women or man
     But I’ve decided I can
The secret wasn’t to over indulge

By Robb AKopp
All Rights Reserved © MMX

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: political,

life with t-rump XX

The Donald is no royal chap
And Obama did not wire tap
T-rump is the fake news  
Who is known to abuse
The women he longs to unwrap

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: humorous,

Fingers Too Short To Play Guitar

Fingers Too Short To Play Guitar

Trump has fingers which seem so short
And also is especially a poor sport
Not mature and intelligence does lack
Like Bernie has a humped over back
Many women want to take him to court.

Jim Horn

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: political,

More Trump Terrible Limericcks

More Trump Terrible Limericcks

To black people Trump would not rent
He actually has been impotent
And next thing don't want to miss
To do anything we are powerless
We're sure  all his money he has spent.

All around Trump did slip and slide
And on all issues he lied and lied
Is a doorknob and a ding a ling
Should see puckered lips try to sing
Definitely a butt hole that is bona fide.

Tried everything to shake Trump loose
We gave up and said what is the use
At him no longer will we look
Has characteristics of being crook
For all things has a perfect excuse.

Trump thinks he is bold and brave
He has ability whole world to save
Tells lies and stories continuously 
With Hillary always does disagree
Which will take him to his grave.

Trump likes women who are elegant
And is a handicap being pregnant
Our whole country wants to disband
With big mouth and each little hand
He will never obtain my vote or consent.

Try these on for sizeThis is just the start.
Jim Horn

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: humorous,

Coffee Like His Women

Coffee Like His Women

Coffee like women Trump likes sweet
Each purpose he has will self-defeat
Bound for failure and never succeed
And definitely born a restless breed
Wherever he will go is Dutch treat.

Jim Horn