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Limerick Poems About Woman | Woman Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Timothy Brumley |
Categories: family, funny, mother

A Clean Hacienda

There once was a woman named Linda

Who would keep a clean hacienda

     Till four children she bore

     And then bore she one more...

She now has a different agenda!




                            Timothy IBrumley

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Poem Details | by Cynthia Jones |
Categories: humor, imagery, inspiration, poetry, september, writing,

Cross-Eyed Woman -Limerick-

Cross eyed woman had a nasty fall after running into a brick wall she was hit over the head with a big loaf of bread while trying to play basketball Copyright Cynthia Jones Sept.23/2004


Poem Details | by Teppo Gren |
Categories: change, humor, woman,

A GUN IN HER POCKET

A GUN IN HER POCKET

I once knew a woman named Carrie
She was the kind of girl I’d marry
Touched the gun in her pocket
I shot off like a rocket
She had changed herself to be Larry

T.J Grén
2nd June, 2016


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

SHE'S DRY - WRITTEN ESPECIALLY FOR ARMAND

She’s as dry as a woman can be No longer wet from dribbling wee She’s got 'Tom' in her pants She can run, she can dance No more leaks, she is now so carefree 30th March 2015



Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous,

FLAT ON HIS BACK

A randy old fella named Jack Always went sleep on his back His todger would rise Right up to the skies It’s only a woman he’d lack! 21st March 2016


Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: funny, imagination, introspection, life, nature

Just Desserts For Unfaithful

.
  Any pretty woman turned his head
  He liked them all so it is said
  Then one day to his surprise
  They no longer caught his eye
   His sexual desire totally died


Poem Details | by Lindsay Laurie |
Categories: humor,

Concerned

I was concerned for my closest mate Gus,
He had problems he needs to discuss,
It’s a woman Gus said,
It’s the one that you wed...
I’ve heard she’s been cheating on us.


Poem Details | by lim'rik flats |
Categories: nonsense,

For Jan - not contest

I know a woman who pees
with every succulent sneeze
It gets on her hose
and also on those
things hanging down to her knees! 


*Jan - I'll bet you've got a photo on file which would go with this


Poem Details | by Michelle Faulkner |
Categories: funny, humor, nonsense, silly,

Polite Fight

Today, I got into a Polite Fight
Over the last Wonder Woman night-light
"Oh, its yours," I insisted,
She demurred, I resisted,
Until I gave in and let her be right!

4/8/18


Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: funny, giggle, humor, lust, passion, sexy, woman,

Jan's Halloween Dream

Jan's spouse said she's gilding the lilies
For treating herself to new frillies
All the neighbours got hot
When they saw what she bought
And that really gave Jan the willies!


Poem Details | by Dale Gregory Cozart |
Categories: humor,

Polly No Wanna

A woman named Polly wouldn't yield, though grown men wanted to plow her field. “Without a ring you will fail. I've thrown big stones in your trail. My field now has a chastity shield.”


Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: chocolate, christian, funny, giggle, humor, wind, woman,

Manx Mass Grave

I'll never forget Midnight Mass
No incense -  just Jan's chocolate gas
She knelt down to pray
And blew me away
We all went to Heaven First-Class


Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: endurance, england, funny, humor, race, wind, woman,

Jan Wins Again

In The Isle Of Man Marathon race
Jan decided to pick up the pace
She farted ahead
Two laggards dropped dead
But the Coroner ruled it was Mace


Poem Details | by Phyllis Babcock |
Categories: birthday, humor,

Age Humor

There was a woman who had a birthday
No age would she ever give away
Everyday she ate bran
Now regular on the can
A strong odor she did display.

20/05/14


Poem Details | by Timothy Brumley |
Categories: animals, funny, social

A Club Sandwich

There once was a woman named Tracy

Who wore clothes that were a bit racy

     Till she got drunk in a club

     And was mistaken for grub

By the wolves who thought her quite tasty!




                               Timothy IBrumley


Poem Details | by Sima Mittal |
Categories: children, kids, funny, woman,

The Chocolate

The Chocolate!

She is a deliciously smart gal,
For each and everyone's her pal.
Be it in the brownie or cake,
Or the icy cold milk shake.
She sure can change everyone's morale!


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: woman,

Long Live the Queen

Though her reign has had rarely a flaw, England’s queen once or twice dropped her jaw. She’s enjoyed a long life As both mother and wife. Not so much as a mother-in-law! For the Long Live the Queen Contest of Judy Konos


Poem Details | by Thvia Shetley |
Categories: funny,

Epitaph of a run-away bride

Here lies a woman of hedonist fame,
her Je ne sais quoi had no restrain.
Any man who proposed
found her not so disposed
and never could find her again!









*










Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: humor,

Limerick: Once a Tennis Woman named Sue Baule

Limerick : Once a Tennis Woman named Sue Baule

Once a Tennis Woman named Sue Baule
Tried to avoid being called : « Screw Ball ! »
So she got her haïr cut
In the shape of a snout
Since at French Open gets dubbed : « Screwed Doll ! »  

© TWignesan – Paris,  2013


Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: funny,

Get Well Soon


I had a Head Nurse that was just born mean The ugliest woman I'd ever seen A voice like sharp ice Never could be nice She made old Nurse Ratchet seem like a queen


Poem Details | by John Smith |
Categories: mother,

There was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe


The old woman in the shoe scandal 
who had those kids, too much to handle 
Now that they are full grown
and she is home alone, 
she'll down-size to a sandal.


Poem Details | by Theresa CW |
Categories: fun,

Chicken Little

Chicken Little

Did you know that Chicken Little was not a man but a woman?
She wanted to always to feel like a part of someone's finest fan
Her fully rounded rump
Sure kept mighty frump
Now Chicken Little might think she's a figment of a con-man.

Written: July 15, 2015
Theresa


Poem Details | by tom bell |
Categories: adventure, funny, husband, love, parody, passion, wife,

State Fair

There once was a woman named Shar,
Who went to her local State Fair,
Her husband came too,
Can't say no to you,
And they were quickly thrown out of there


Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: humorous,

High Maintenance Woman

A stunning woman, so beautiful and polite,
But causing concern, I'm thinking twice,
My girl puts my credit card to much use
Tantamount to severe financial abuse,
Although, I do enjoy her other vice.


Poem Details | by Curtis Moorman |
Categories: woman,

YOU SWEET THANG YOU


YOU SWEET THANG YOU

I know a young lady so sweet
She swept me off my feet
Just one look was all it took
And wouldn't you know she's a really good cook
So now I have plenty to eat