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Limerick Poems About Wives | Wife Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Thvia Shetley |
Categories: funeral, funny, sports,

A golf limerick

While a man was golfing in Fife
a funeral cortege was arife,

       his head bowed in prayer
       at this somber affair

to pay last respects to his wife!

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Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

OLD BILL - BAWDY LIMERICK

A sex mad codger named Bill Swallowed a Viagra pill His todger did rise - You should see the size It sure gave his wife a thrill 17th Feb 2015


Poem Details | by Paul Schneiter |
Categories: humor,

Blues News

There was a miserable husband of McNigh
Who had a tendency to frequently cry.
His wife filed for divorce
Causing him no remorse.
Now he’s happy as a drunk drinking rye.


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY

In flagranti with an unknown lover Sprang apart from underneath the cover How his wife she did shout Now his secret was out - His hidden lover was her own mother! 4th March 2015



Poem Details | by JEAN MURRAY |
Categories: metaphor, proposal, recovery from,

MY PLUMBER

My plumber is here to sort my pipes.
Says he has divorced his wife.
He just showed me his hose.
Then proceeded to propose.
I admit I got the fright of my life.


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous, lust, political,

RONALD LIKES A NICE BIT OF RUMP

A politician called Ronald Dump Loves to pat pretty girls on the rump At a peachy pert tush All his brains turn to mush His wife floors him – you should see the lump! Fictional write for fun 7th June 2016


Poem Details | by Larry Belt |
Categories: funny

Eyegasses

I lost my wife among the masses
She said I was blind and needed glasses
I searched the inbetweens
Remembered I fed her beans
Then closed my eyes and followed the gasses


Poem Details | by Larry Belt |
Categories: funny

Poke It!!!

Her mom has a wart on her face that grows
How that thing got there nobody knows
I looked to my wife and said
"Poke it, I think that its dead"
She said, "Stop it!, that thing is her nose"


Poem Details | by Dale Gregory Cozart |
Categories: humor, love,

The Pickler's Wife

The young pickler's wife was quite fickle, one day warm then a cold icicle. But now she's amorous, dressed up quite glamorous. She's tickled the young pickler's pickle!


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

Between The Ears



My wife and I lived happily for twenty years Then we met!!! Ever since I've been in arrears Oh for the good old days Enjoyed my “being right” phase Ever since I've become dead between the ears


Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: work,

Maid in America

I had an affair with a maid
Accustomed to doing as bade
Now she is with child
The wife has gone wild,
"Thats not how a maid should be paid!"


Poem Details | by Edward Ebbs |
Categories: family, funny, life,

Beers and Tears

Men measure life by the number of beers
Women measure life by the flow of tears
It is when the dad farts
His wife moans in her heart
Because her own children laugh and cheer

Edward J Ebbs - October 11, 2011
Limerick Contest 


Poem Details | by Ken Duddle |
Categories: food, funny,

No Farting Allowed

There was a man named Fred Who liked eating baked beans in bed One day when he farted He and his wife parted 'Well it's quicker than divorce' Said Fred.


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: woman,

Long Live the Queen

Though her reign has had rarely a flaw, England’s queen once or twice dropped her jaw. She’s enjoyed a long life As both mother and wife. Not so much as a mother-in-law! For the Long Live the Queen Contest of Judy Konos


Poem Details | by Lindsay Laurie |
Categories: humor,

Call the Midwife

T’was her ninth month and early summer,
My wife said she’d heard nothing dumber,
After she had spoken,
Her water had broken...
And me ringing up for a plumber.


Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: funny, happiness, health

Honey Bun

There was once a man from Thomaston
He called his wife honey bun
His knee joint went out
In pain he did shout
Viagra's  no longer number one


Poem Details | by Doris Culverhouse |
Categories: humorous,

Nutcracker limerick

Nutcracker ballet tickets for fun
Elegantly floating on air and sun
A great fall off the wall
Wife has a vice tis strife
Nutcracker career, hubby done!


Poem Details | by John W Fenn |
Categories: daughter, funny, wife

Cockney

A cockney from over the water
Had a wife and a tasty young daughter
They would lead him a dance
And he stood not a chance
Cos they both never did what they oughta


Poem Details | by Keith Trestrail |
Categories: funny, humorous, marriage,

I Just Can't Win

My wife she says that at housework I suck,
she yelled "pick up a broom you idle schmuck!"
  But babe, cleanin and dustin 
  curbs my drinkin and lustin,
but said "no dustin, no lustin!"...WTF!



               September 2014






Poem Details | by tom bell |
Categories: adventure, funny, husband, love, parody, passion, wife,

State Fair

There once was a woman named Shar,
Who went to her local State Fair,
Her husband came too,
Can't say no to you,
And they were quickly thrown out of there


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, for him, humorous,

HE'S BENT

I feel terribly sorry for Rodger He developed a kink in his todger It looked such a sight when bent to the right that his poor wife ran off with the lodger! Submitted to Any poem (not for contest) Sponsored by Broken Wings 1st January 2016


Poem Details | by Kimberly Shaw |
Categories: betrayal, funny love,

Spring Forward

I can't hear, said the man to his wife
Did you say, that you're holding a knife?!

with her hands hid behind
a smile not truly kind

Lunging forward he sprang for his life!




Submission for poetry contest:  Spring Forward (Limerick)


Poem Details | by Janice Canerdy |
Categories: age, grandparents, humor,

Grandma and Grandpa Did WHAT


 

There was an old geezer from Pippin
who wanted to go skinny dippin'.
He gave his wife whisky;
they got bare and and frisky.
Then into the pond both went slippin'.



April 9, 2018, entered in Viv Wigley's Traditional Limerick Contest


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: beauty, holiday, husband, love, passion, sensual, wife,

Roses Scents

Scattered beautifully on our bed are roses But it's the one that I like that poses For it attracts in me My mind and body agrees Lay down whilst this Highlander proposes .


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: spring,

Why Sammy Loves Spring

In the spring, Sammy loves planting trees. With his son, he flies kites in the breeze. But his favorite thing Is at night performing With his wife like the birds and the bees! For the Spring Forward Poetry Contest of Debbie Guzzi


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