Limerick Poems About Wedding | Wedding Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny, dance, fire, dance,

My Big Fat Cousin's Wedding

My favorite cousin named Marge is almost as big as a barge. So one would assume, not knowing the groom, the guy would most likely be large. But he was a small man named Tim “As thin as a broom” describes him. While Marge would guffaw, Tim would watch her with awe and just smile for he was so prim! When the preacher addressed him and said, “You may now kiss the bride,” Tim turned red, for their lips could not meet. With high heels on her feet, Marge stood towering over his head. She leaned down while Tim stood on his toes, but for being in such a strange pose, Marge then came toppling down crushing Tim neath her gown while the whole church erupted in “Ohhhhh’s.” All was well, and thereafter, we ate; then we planned next to dance until late. But none could foresee the small tragedy that had us all leaving by eight! Marge had tossed off her heels for a glide on the dance floor, but when they both tried to dance, Tim got snagged by that dang gown and dragged as his bride was beginning to slide. Now shoeless, poor Marge could not stop. Toward a table with candles on top, they slid, and the groom then set fire to the room by landing with a belly flop. Poor Tim by the candles got lit, and we were all having a fit, for the fire got spread fast till the Best Man at last got us all wet extinguishing it! Inspired by the title of the movie: My Big Fat Greek Wedding & : Joann Grisetti's "My Cousin's Wedding" Poetry contest


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny

The Sundress Girl

Little Lulu, a cute little girl. in her sundresses loved to just twirl. Around she kept going, pink underpants showing. Her life would become one big “whirl.” In grade school, she grew to be wild. Upside down, in the playground, this child from the monkey bar hung in her sundress among all the boys standing round her, who smiled! As a teen, Lulu still loved to wear a sundress to make young men stare. She was thought a great sport when she wore a dress short, legs crossed as she sat in a chair. Little Lulu was so hot to trot her affection by many was sought till that cute buttercup got finally knocked up. Then a white wedding sundress she bought! The years crept up quickly on Lulu. On her porch she now stands and calls, “You-hoo!” to every old guy who might give her the eye as she twirls the huge skirt of her muumuu!
Written by Andrea Dietrich Inspired by the contest: "The Sundress" Sponsored by ~ Constance La France ~ A Rambling Poet ~~


Poem Details | by stephen pennell |
Categories: fun,

Famous poet comp

There once was a poet called Jan
who took the Mick out of her fellow man 
from the size of his ears
to the size of his wedding  gear
she's the limerick writer from the Isle of Man


comp entry 16082016 
famous poets could have gone for a keats, kipling etc.
But Im not good enough, so went for a famous poetry soup poet
jan allison the limerick champion
 


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: conflict, food, humorous, wedding,

NOT RELISHING CAKE

My baker’s commissioned to bake A huge cow shaped iced wedding cake The groom is a farmer He sure is a charmer Its design could lead to heartbreak When the bride saw the cake how she cried Her traditional cake was denied She screamed at the groom Get out of this room Then she plunged the knife in the cow’s side Inspired by but not for contest 02~09~17


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny

Chippendale Dancer

Hot Sue, many guys sought to romance her

But she fell for a Chippendale dancer

     Stuck bucks in his G-string

     But found his wedding ring

Right next to his genital enhancer





*Entry for Miranda Lambert's "Burlesque" contest


Poem Details | by Anisha Dutta |
Categories: anniversary, wedding,

Wedding Anniversary


                           Wedding Anniversary

        On fiftieth Wedding Anniversary
     Couple booked a lovely suite in hurry.
               Full Moon is seen to glow
               through the nice wide window.
      Couple fought a lot making wife angry.

     Upset husband called Hotel Manager
    ‘Come soon, sharp, prompt, I need help my brother.
                  My wife wants to throw 
                  herself through window.
           She is furious on my behaviour.’

      Polite Manager told ‘Even it turns fatal,
     I cannot interfere, matter is marital.
                Try to solve yourself
                  I can never help.
     Hotel will just watch staying impartial'.

     Husband shouted ‘Sole responsibility
      must go instant to Hotel Authority.
               Cute maintenance problem,
                   not marital, I claim.
       Open the stuck window, it is priority

  03/13/16

      Let's Have Some FUN Contest      Third Place
  
     Sponsor Casarah Nance


Poem Details | by Kim Merryman |
Categories: anniversary, funny love, love,

Happily Married

Thirty-four years we've been married, and our life together has been varied. But our love just keeps growing, so this I am knowing, we'll be together until we're buried! Now if that's not okay with you, dear, let me make myself perfectly clear: you are stuck with me like glue, and there's nothing you can do. So take that and stick it in your ear!
5/29/30 (Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary and the first limerick is truthThe 2nd limerick is just to be funnyNo trouble in Paradise here, folks!)


Poem Details | by Laura Loo |
Categories: humorous, mother, wedding,

Mother In Law

A l i e n a t e me from the mother-in-law, malignant by nature with many flaws- “Oh don’t try to flatter me! You’re inurbane, can’t you see!” I surely failed getting luck of the draw! His mother can sure be quite capricious, and most of the time can be malicious- “Please gravitate off the earth, you d i s s i p a t e your own worth… and your apple pie isn’t delicious!” I liked her in a transitory way, until she RUINED my own wedding day- Tripped me walking down the aisle, perspicuous! Saw her smile---- :) as a scapegoat she blamed it on Aunt May! Ten Word Challenge Contest Sponsor: John Hamilton Date Written: September 5, 2016


Poem Details | by Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser |
Categories: joy, life, love, relationship,

OLD AND GREY


With a ring, I'm hoping to say
All my intent that came our way
I pray for God's grace
to rain on that place
where our wedding vows display

I want to send my guy a bouquet
to him my love I'll display
His cheeks powder flush
as touches play hush
These flow e'en we're old and grey
__________________________________________
O.EGuillermo 
6:42 pm, April 29, 2015




Poem Details | by Erin Soares-Anselmi |
Categories: light, marriage,

Pride and Arrogance's Wedding

Pride & Arrogance’s Wedding

Pride was looking for a partner to share his life.
He found Arrogance and asked her to be his wife.

 This would be the grandest affair no one could beat.
Anybody who was somebody would fill the seats.

Sarcasm would be the maid of honor Arrogance’s best friend
While Pride’s buddy Boastful would do the honors of stepping in.

Pompous, Pretentious, and Presumptuous found their places
While Vanity and Bossy were screaming in each other’s faces

Smug walked by with Snotty his wife of many years
As Arrogance’s mother Egotist tried not to shed a tear.

As Arrogance came in the room all stopped and stared
To witness true love Pride and Arrogance shared.

Pride took Arrogance by the hand to the alter
Looking stiff and stoic like the rock of Gibraltar 

The wedding was beautiful but just a little odd
But everybody knew they were like two peas in a pod

 They now live in a town called Imso Crass
While Arrogance works hard Pride sits on his ass

Arrogance, if she only knew her fate with Pride
She would have never agreed to be by his side.

But now there’s a baby whom she must take care.
Little chaos born on her birthday they now share.

Erin Soares-Anselmi
01/06/14


Poem Details | by DrJim Martin |
Categories: funny,

Nervous Bride

Nervous Bride
DrJames EMartin
©May, 2013


Her wedding day was drawing near.
She tried to hide her fear.
The more she tried,
The more she cried.
Would anxiety ever disappear?


Poem Details | by Rhonda Johnson-Saunders |
Categories: funny, wedding, february,

February Funny Bone


In the month of February 'twas fate
We chose our special wedding date
        A love, I cannot explain
        Couldn’t wait to take his name
So why do I still hyphenate?       


By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, January 30, 2012
for Linda-Marie's February Funny Bone contest

First place finish


Poem Details | by Brian Magness |
Categories: happiness, life, love, romance,

Beach Proposal

We went for a walk on the beach
His hand for my hand did reach
Walking together
It seemed like forever
A marriage proposal he did beseech.

He spoke again said you’re squeezing my hand
As my feet felt like led in the sand
I stopped in my track
Felt my smile crack
Then he showed me the wedding band.

I could no longer contain my feeling
Inside I would have hit the ceiling
Of course I said yes 
To his great request
And now my heart he is stealing.


For contest “Loveland Limerick”  
JT76945
Brian Magness


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny,

February Funny Bone

The Leap Day Groom Cheap Fred, wishing seldom to pay to celebrate his wedding day, then chose February twenty-ninth to marry. Few anniversaries that way! Written by Andrea Dietrich for The February Funny bone Limerick Contest of Linda-Marie The Sweetheart of P.S. Also For the "Any Poem You Posted This Week Poetry Contest of : Destroyer ~ Poet


Poem Details | by Paul Schneiter |
Categories: humorous,

Nailed

There was a roofer named Bob Ringles
Who liked to go to dances for singles.
There he met his soul mate
Who OK'd a wedding date.
'Til she learned Bob had the shingles.


Poem Details | by Seren Roberts |
Categories: funny,

What a todo

Sally went to a wedding its true
was told to wear something that's blue
so she wore panties with lace
should see the look on their face
when she took them off in the loo


Poem Details | by Marty Owens |
Categories: fantasy, funny, imagination, romance,

Miracles Happen To and In June

There once was a gal name of June.
Who wanted to kiss and to spoon.
  She made a big splatter
  falling off a tall ladder.
 When she married the man in the moon.

Her wedding of course was in June.
She wanted to marry him soon..
   She started to chatter
   but that didn't matter.
Their life was so much a cartoon.

The man in the moon liked to croon.
He liked to sing songs about June.
   But nothing was sadder
   when he made her madder.
Singing not of "June" but of June.

To get on her good side Old Lune.
Flew June to the moon via balloon.
  But she was much fatter
  and emptied her bladder.
Now he looked like a baboon.
  
To end this wild tale about June.
Know the man in the moon made her swoon
    He heard her feet patter
    when she mixed cake batter.
Turning into butterfly from cocoon.


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun,

Mister wine and Miss cheese


                       Mister wine and Miss cheese-they married well

                            In the dark night they had no extra fuel

                                   Sooo they hugged each other

                                     Teeth rattled oh my father
                        
                            Oh in Wedding night they  were on gruel


Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun, funny, nonsense,

My wife is either a spook or a goat




                                       My wife is either a spook or a goat

                                     I wish She must fall in a Texas moat

                                                In our wedding night

                                                   I had a frost bite

                                And she made love to my bright yellow coat


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: urban,

The right turn

Noxious noise too loud is absurd
What's the point of saying a word?
Some bikers adore
A Harley's revved-up roar
And tread on my right to be heard!



Author's note: How about a wedding band so loud that there's no chance of a conversation at the table?  Why do the people generating the noise have no idea?  Who is shunning gentleness and subtlety for the sake of shock and awe?  What happened to democracy's sense of empathy and fairness?  Where is the government regulation to assure peace and quiet?  When will my ears get a break?


Poem Details | by iolanda Scripca |
Categories: funny

Ten Foot Yellow Train

Julia Roberts - The Run Away Bride
Had a dog  Fido - loved water slides 
He lifted his leg
Yellow train - an egg
The bride disappeared hurt in her pride...

Fido's bright smile showed whites of Colgate
When Lady appeared sealing his Fate
Human wedding planned
On a doggies' land
Long Live bride's old Pop and his charge plate!
www.scripca.com


Inspired by Carolyn Devonshire's limerick "Runaway Train"
An outdoor wedding, no sign of rain
The bride’s gown had a 10-foot train
     Crossing the lawn to her bequeathed
     Fido snatched the train in his teeth
And Pop watched eight grand go down the drain


Poem Details | by Lindsay Laurie |
Categories: humor,

Discovery

For a week Jean was married to Jake,
Jean discovered that Jake was a snake,
At a shop now in town,
For sale a wedding gown,
With a note - worn once by mistake.


Poem Details | by Deb Wilson |
Categories: love, passion

Splendor On The Beach

Two lovers are walking the sand
Each gazing at their wedding band
Their deeply felt love
Sent  down from above
Has been touched by God's mighty hand

He peers into her lovely eyes
As slowly the sun starts to rise
The splendor of knowing
Their vast love is showing
Completes them,they do realize

She places her hand on his chest
And whispers that she loves him best
Her kisses are sweet
As his heart skips a beat
They both know their union is blessed



By Deb Wilson
for contest"Loveland Limerick"
sponsored by Linda -Marie--sweetheart of PS
inspired by picture #JT 76969



Poem Details | by Joyce Johnson |
Categories: happiness, health, love, romance,

Loveland

Two lovers with a second chance
At life enriched with sweet romance,
Repeat their wedding vows
In manner God allows,
With tasteful, simple elegance.

Loved ones and good friends gather near
Sharing in the joy and cheer.
Italian day is fair,
Blessing the happy pair,
Predicting future bright and clear.

May their good fortune never wane,
And sunshine over-power the rain.
Their love will be their wealth
In sickness and in health.
May their deep love always remain.

By: Joyce Johnson

For Linda-Marie's Loveland Limerick contest  won a 5th in this
from photo j 17 6858



Poem Details | by Joyce Johnson |
Categories: confusion, wedding, wedding, wedding,

My Cousin's Wedding

The bride-to-be set the time and the date.
Now she is the one an hour and half late
The wedding guests are curious.
The bride’s father is furious.
The wedding is now on overtime rate.


For contest "My Cousin's Wedding"


Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: funny, social,

Rich Relative Nuptials

This wedding is hard-labor duty
(All the guests are acting so SNOOTY!)
A whole lotta' bunk!
Guess I'll get drunk
And pinch that thar bridesmaid's stiff booty...

For Joann's contest


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: imagery,

A Yankee Cap And A Belt



Now picture this little scene if you can On our wedding night, a little humour I had planned Came into the room looking svelte Wearing only a Yankee cap and a belt Needless to say it broke the ice and the night turned out grand


Poem Details | by Paul Schneiter |
Categories: humor, marriage, wedding,

Enough Already

It was the sixth wedding for daughter Judy
who was quite plain and hardly a beauty.
Time came to give away the bride
whereupon her Father replied
"five times I've tried--I've done my duty."


Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: funny, romance,

The Last Of The Romantics

She was the only love he'd ever known

   For the cheap wedding ring he would atone

      She pined for a bigger "ice"

         A five carat stone would be nice

            The jerk bought her a one ton graveyard stone

Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: humorous,

Limerick: Once a Ticket-Puncher got dead drunk

Limerick : Once a Ticket-Puncher got dead drunk

Once a Ticket-Puncher got dead drunk
Punched everyone he called « Bloody Skunk ! »
Sentenced to punch in ring
Minus his wedding ring
Now his wife’s punched drunk by a starved Monk.

© TWignesan – Paris,  2013


Poem Details | by jack horne |
Categories: mystery

Wayne the Builder

There once was a builder called Wayne,
Who built a new house on a plain,
But his wife took fright
On their wedding night:
He’d forgotten the roof again.

*my theory on Stonehenge : )


Poem Details | by John Long |
Categories: art, family, food, time,

THE WEDDING CAKE

It is an important cake that I had to bake with out a rake so that it would be 
real   It has a special filling that the groom himself requested and has not been 
tested  a flavor that is also a favorite of mine no matter where I dine even with fine punch  It must not even come close to being dropped nor even flipped 

  It is a family specialty both with and with out the decorations with not one 
splotch not one drop of scotch although my watch seems to have been some 
how misplaced plus every step retraced although perhaps it’s in the van with the 
pans of sandy ham  maybe even on the can of Pam- wherever it is I can not put 
down the cake to look

 My book when last seen was next to the cake which was nowhere near the 
hooks my watch may have been there too when I was using my decorating tools 
with out boos but wherever my watch happens to be I am grateful I have not run 
into any yellow bees  I hope I am not late regardless of the fee because I have to 
make a delivery even if for free

 Well whatever the time even if I only get a few dimes and limes this is a 
special occasion   so this better be the right destination regardless of 
instantaneous regeneration of plants with out procrastination or any kind of 
hesitation despite some close calls that would make it   resemble the leaning 
tower of Italy here comes the wedding cake!


Poem Details | by RALPH TAYLOR |
Categories: lovewedding, wedding,

LOOKING FOR LOVE

I once, led a very dull life!
Had lots of trouble and strife!
        Then I got some advice,
        didn’t have to think twice,
it was suggested, I needed a wife!

For a while, my search was in vain!
For what reason, I couldn’t explain!
        I just couldn’t find,
        what I had in mind,
it was always, the same old refrain.

I kept trying, though I had low esteem.
And my patience, was weak so it seemed.
        Then one day, without warning,
        it was early one morning,
I encountered, the girl of my dreams!


Turns out, we just couldn’t wait,
and soon we started to date.
        Right from the start,
        she stole my heart,
I discovered, it’s never too late!

Now, I was bursting with pride!
At having her here, by my side!
        So we purchased some rings,
        and a few wedding things,
and soon, she was my blushing bride!

The best day of my life, I must say,
no doubt, was my wedding day!
        My love, I can’t measure,
        she’s my most, valued treasure!
God willing, that’s how it will stay!


Poem Details | by Theresa a.k.a. Reecie |
Categories: funny, wedding,

Wedding Day

She cried at the wedding ceremony
Happy tears, like beautiful peonies
They didn't wed
Like she had said
So she won a ton of U O Me's.


Poem Details | by Cynthia Jones |
Categories: imagery, inspiration, january, poetry,

Drunken Mouse -Limerick:Monorhyme Combo-

He staggers and stumbles all around on the floor, his underwear I found he laughed hard, then fell down I'm speechless, not a sound mooned me, from beneath my wedding gown. Copyright © Cynthia Jones Jan.17/2013 I haven't penned one of these for a long whileBelieve it or not, I had a hard time trying to think of what to write.


Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: humor,

Limerick: Once step-Father gave daughter away

Limerick: Once step-Father gave daughter away

Once step-Father gave daughter away
But first exercised his rights of sway
Droit de cuissage decree*
Gave to Wife repartee:
Doubled their joy now in every way!


* In European feudal societies during the Middle Ages and thereafter 
in succeeding centuries, it is thought that
the Lord of the Manor or Seigneur of the Serfdom arrogated for himself
the Droit de cuissage, i.ethe right to sleep with the bride of a serf on
the wedding night.

© TWignesan – Paris, 2014  


Poem Details | by George Aul |
Categories: humorous,

A Toast To The Bride

I do not have a clue what to say,
I just know that I ruined your day,
when the drinks got flowing
nakedness was showing...
just stopped by your wedding to say "Hey."


Poem Details | by mike dailey |
Categories: on writing and wordsme,

contest suggestion

I cannot sponsor a contest but if you can and you are looking for a topic may I 
suggest a limerick contest that requires the poet to base the limerick on a word that 
begins with the first two letters of their name (first or last - sponsor's choice) The 
Washington Post ran a similar contest 4-5 years ago and I won an HM based on this 
first poem I eventually submitted a limerick for every DA word in my little pocket 
dictionary you could ask for a certain number or just one.

Like a lamb being led to the slaughter
Or a clam in the hands of an otter
I haven’t a chance
When she gives me that glance
Yes, alas I’m a DAD with a DAUGHTER

There once was a sheerer who’d gag
When sheering the sheep who would drag
Their rear ends through dung
Until it all clung
Dung matted wool’s know as a DAG

There once was a French riot keen
To let royalty know what they mean
They just couldn’t wait
To decapitate
The king, the queen and the DAUPHIN

There once was a Roman who’d swagger
Whose enemies thought him a bragger
So they shortened his life
With a short little knife
Now known as the Et-Tu-Bru DAGGER

A ticket I can not afford
And so I have turned to the Lord
Only three inches tall
He watches it all
From his vantage point on my DASHBOARD

There has to be some fire station
Somewhere to be found in this nation
That has a DACHSHUND
They got from the pound
Instead of the usual DALMATIAN

There once was a girl I did court
But the wedding she chose to abort
When I thought myself dandy
She thought me too randy
And jumped up off our DAVENPORT

A brain freeze can sure make you scream
When eating too fast your ice-cream
I won’t let that faze me
Though the pain will sure daze me
Each time at the old DAIRY Queen

As the sweet smell came into my nose
It tickled my fancy and toes
Reminds me of you
And the sweet morning dew
It’s the fragrance of sweet DAMASK Rose

It’s a receipt I often mangle
The ingredients all twist and tangle
Its my sandwich of choosing
Though the balance I’m losing
My DAGWOOD’s at such steep an angle

I once called this guy a DAGO
His dander was ready to blow
His teeth – they did sparkle
His thoughts – they were darkle
So I quick ran away don’t you know

The Webster’s I used was quite small
The challenge to me – use them all
Not all are PC
But they’re precious to me
It’s the DASTSARDLY SPONSORs’ call


Poem Details | by Larry Belt |
Categories: funnywedding, wedding,

Hot, Hot Lovin'

My wedding ring fell in the toilet
So I asked my wife if she'd boil it
It then burnt my hand
My own wedding band
For she thought that I asked her to broil it


Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: rights,

Limerick: Once queer Duke insisted on Serf Thigh rights

Limerick : Once queer Duke insisted on Serf Thigh rights

Once queer Duke insisted on Serf Thigh rights*
So bridegrooms replaced brides on first nights:
Droit de cuissage* then free
Duchess claimed repartee –
Since newly-weds rush to castle in tights!

•	In European feudal societies during the Middle Ages and thereafter 
in succeeding centuries, it is thought that
the Lord of the Manor or Seigneur of the Serfdom arrogated for himself
the Droit de cuissage, i.ethe right to sleep with the bride of a serf on
the wedding night.

© TWignesan – Paris, 2014  


Poem Details | by George Aul |
Categories: humor,

Checkmate - For Contest

I was standing in the checkout line,
And man! She was looking oh so fine,
so I checked her up and down,
but then given a big frown...
that wedding ring was her tell-tale sign.


02/20/2016


Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

A Cap And A Belt



Now picture this little scene if you can On our wedding night, a little humour I had planned Came into the room looking svelte In only a baseball cap and a belt It sure broke the ice and the night turned out grand