An outdoor wedding, no sign of rain
The bride’s gown had a 10-foot train
Crossing the lawn to her bequeathed
Fido snatched the train in his teeth
And Pop watched eight grand go down the drain
Hot Sue, many guys sought to romance her
But she fell for a Chippendale dancer
Stuck bucks in his G-string
But found his wedding ring
Right next to his genital enhancer
*Entry for Miranda Lambert's "Burlesque" contest
Her wedding day was drawing near.
She tried to hide her fear.
The more she tried,
The more she cried.
Would anxiety ever disappear?
a beautiful love shared by two
bound in Gods word near the ocean of blue
happiness did begin
together until the end
as she softly whispered "I Do"
Poet Rick Parise
I woke up in rapture, when she started to sing.
Naughty whispers in my ears, “Someone’s coming”
My ecstatic view;
A child is due!
Then she continues, “My mother’s visiting”
We never thought she'd find the right man
Find a more fickle bride if you can..
Poor man hasn't a chance
She's in charge of romance
He stepped into the fire from the pan
Written in haste for the
"Cousins Wedding" contest...
I once dated a man named Larry
He one day asked me to marry
Though he was a real honey
He hadn't much money
So, I wed his cousin Harry
There was a roofer named Bob Ringles
Who liked to go to dances for singles.
There he met his soul mate
Who OK'd a wedding date.
'Til she learned Bob had the shingles.
Sally went to a wedding its true
was told to wear something that's blue
so she wore panties with lace
should see the look on their face
when she took them off in the loo
It was the sixth wedding for daughter Judy
who was quite plain and hardly a beauty.
Time came to give away the bride
whereupon her Father replied
"five times I've tried--I've done my duty."
The bride-to-be set the time and the date.
Now she is a whole hour and one half late
The wedding guests are curious.
The bride’s father is furious.
The wedding is now on overtime rate.
For contest "My Cousin's Wedding"
For a week Jean was married to Jake,
Jean discovered that Jake was a snake,
At a shop now in town,
For sale a wedding gown,
With a note - worn once by mistake.
Now picture this little scene if you can
On our wedding night, a little humour I had planned
Came into the room looking svelte
Wearing only a Yankee cap and a belt
Needless to say it broke the ice and the night turned out grand
The exchange of vows begins the Journey
love, patience and trust, the needed money
to make every meal
and open every seal
one where bitter leaf spices much honey
Once upon a time, thirty years ago,
In front of a priest I stood with my beau.
“Over time”, he hailed;
“The secret will be unveiled”,
“Of a truly happy marriage”; but I still don’t know.
has three rings - Engagement rings,
Wedding rings and Sufferings;
Like a Violin lover,
after the music's over,
Ah, attached still are the strings!
"Limerick" contest by Jan Allison
A baby, pious, was born by aide
He named it Gaias, and felt like a jade
While he cried,
Cause mommy died.
His wife hired yet another maid
She cried at the wedding ceremony
Happy tears, like beautiful peonies
They didn't wed
Like she had said
So she won a ton of U O Me's.
Just out of college, we would yearn for a touch
Sleeping together cuddled on the couch
Those were the days!
Of pre-wedding bouquets
Now I am told to go sleep alone on the couch
Fly me to the moon
Play us the bedroom tunes
The nod-nod head of lovers’ hoots
Let’s twirl this tango as David in jolly mood
And coil in celestial honeymoon cocoon.
There once was a builder called Wayne,
Who built a new house on a plain,
But his wife took fright
On their wedding night:
He’d forgotten the roof again.
*my theory on Stonehenge : )
She was the only love he'd ever known
For the cheap wedding ring he would atone
She pined for a bigger "ice"
A five carat stone would be nice
The jerk bought her a one ton graveyard stone
Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Limerick : Once a Ticket-Puncher got dead drunk
Once a Ticket-Puncher got dead drunk
Punched everyone he called « Bloody Skunk ! »
Sentenced to punch in ring
Minus his wedding ring
Now his wife’s punched drunk by a starved Monk.
© TWignesan – Paris, 2013
This wedding is hard-labor duty
(All the guests are acting so SNOOTY!)
A whole lotta' bunk!
Guess I'll get drunk
And pinch that thar bridesmaid's stiff booty...
For Joann's contest
It's not her style to walk down the aisle
Father and parson its sure to rile
But all of the people
down under the steeple
will smile at her elegant abseil
*Abseil - rappel down a rope